My Mom read through my I-129f packet yesterday and started CRYING. She said: If they don't approve you, something is seriously wrong with the system.
I think that is the point, something is seriously wrong with this system.
If you want my blunt honesty, I think HCMC consulate doubts (in general) that Americans can truly love Vietnamese and vice versa. The culture and language are soooo different, how can they fit together? And too many scams on both ends have made matters even worse. I don't know he we are ever to combat this, but there must be a way!
Tan and I are extremely (as in EXTREMELY) stressed by the prejudice and nasty comments we are getting. We trust each other completely but its hard to be far from someone and hear sh*t about them all day long. I get nice comments like: "How naive are you?? He is working you girlfriend! He just wants a greencard, viets will go to any length, no matter how they have to fake it" Not only does this offend my intelligence (as if I wouldn't know someone was faking me out) but it also implies that viets have no heart and can't fall in love. ((tell me .. is he faking crying, faking arguing and being the world's stubbornest man, faking begging me to forget everything and just come be with him in VN because he wants to die without me, and faking his b*ners, too? And the Oscar goes to TAN - best actor of countryside Vietnam!))
He gets: "When is she sending you money? Has she sent you money yet? If she is not sending you money, why are you with a foreigner? She is just going to use you in the u.s. to do her cooking and cleaning and she will never take you outside. U.S. life is no different than VN - just stay here and marry a REAL woman. Americans have no soul, she will hurt you, she can't love you like you love her." In fact, Tan has stopped speaking to his dad because his dad was saying some things he shouldn't and Tan would protect me to the death.
I know how everyone feels ... it is so hard to have to PROVE your love. How do you prove an elusive intangible? And when is the last time some cafe receipts and a plane ticket proved love? This whole thing is backwards.
and we have to hear this BS day in and day out and deal with being far apart and the worry of the legendary HCMC consulate on our shoulders. At this point, I am thinking heavily about going to VN to stay with him until his interview. He begs me for this daily and I really resent giving up this time together. We both just found the love of our lives and we have to sit on other ends of the earth? We both just waste time anyway fantasizing about each other or sitting on webcam for 5 hours like two morons.
*Funny Tan moment (for those of you familiar with his unique sense of humor) Tan showed up on a webcam in a t-shirt he had custom made that said: I LOVE WHITE PEOPLE

cracked me up. (for those of you that don't get it, he is kidding - we just have a weird non-PC sense of humor thing together)
I guess the point is, I do see why the consulate doubts this stuff but they also need to be reasonable enough to see that if someone can provide what they are looking for, they need to ease up. There ARE real relationships coming from Vietnam - not just scams. I can attest to that.
Isn't there an ALL Vietnam visa forum? Everyone could band together and perhaps actually do something to change this system. If enough people fight together, we can change things. Any thoughts?
I only wish everyone my blessing that true love WILL prevail. Keep the faith and keep fighting.
*hugs*
ILOVETAN