Um, ok ladies and gents ... printed out ONE of my zillion and one chats with Tan and (drum roll please) 42 pages.

UM. I talk to him EVERY DAY LIKE THIS. This is just ridiculous overkill to my printer, to the consulate, to the USCIS... SERIOUSLY - they are NOT going to read 42 pages even 1 time, let alone 100 times. Seriously ... is there a better way to prove our chats?

Do you think it would be sufficient to print the first and last page of the chats, let them know we talk like this daily, the time the chat started and ended and that if they would like the full chats, I am happy to oblige them but they are around 50 pages in length on average??

The same goes for our emails. In ONE month, he has emailed me 72 times, I have emailed him 56 times. ANY THOUGHTS FOR THE COUPLE WITH A PROBLEM?????

Hello, my name is Thuy and I am a Tan-a-holic.

Thanks
Thuy - I LOVE TAN (no sh*t)

I would print every single page from every conversation and hire a team of porters and donkeys to help you carry it to the embassy. Of course, they are probably going to ask you for proof that you used your own money to rent the donkeys, so keep your receipt. =)

No, I really don't think you ought to send a case of paper with the 129(f) petition. Now when it comes time for the actual interview, that's a different story. Mai carried in an entire suitcase full of our chat and emails and all that stuff (we also talked a lot every day when I wasn't working). I heard of somebody, I can't remember who, who sent in a huge file like that to USCIS, but I think most people advise against that. I think you're on the right track.

There might be a simpler solution... this is what I did:

If you use yahoo, you can get access your archive of chats and try to print the list of dates. One thing though, you may have to use the 'print screen' button to copy and print the list from a paint program. This way you don't have to submit all private conversations, and if they request a specific chat, you can have it available at the interview.

What you all think?

I think you should pick and choose.

For the interview, I would actually take each and every one in with me. I believe in burying them with information. It's worked for us this far.

For the petition, I would send in one full chat with a list of dates you chatted and the title "This is a sample of one of our chats online"

I would not print out each and every one of them and include them in the packet. It's a waste of paper. For your interview, you might want to print them all out, like others have suggested. Oh, and set your printer to economical printing.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH - I like this idea!

For all you "normals" out there ... how often do normal people chat to each other and for how long at a stretch?

Is an hour on the phone, 3 hours on the net and and an email in the course of 1 day, EXCESSIVE?

Now he and I are discussing my going to stay with him in Vietnam until his interview. You know what? This situation would actually be easier if this WAS a scam of some sort. Then I wouldn't have to watch a 5'4", 120 pound asian man sob on webcam and beg me to be with him every day. SHEESH.

I told him he gotta sacrifice something - either this time now where we can't be together, or I will come there but when he gets to America, I won't have as much money as I should have because I can't work as much from over there. (can you guess what he chose?) AAAAAAA. I am looking into plane flights now. He doesn't care about the money, he just wants ME.

For anyone thinking of taking on a Vietnamese mate - don't bother unless you are up to commitment and like being with someone 24/7 ... Vietnamese (if they love you) want to GLUE themselves to you. I affectionately call them, "Remora people". Lucky for me, I happen to LOVE this trait about them! hihihihi

And if you are looking for obedience, don't go with a Viet spouse. They are irritatingly STUBBORN and will argue a point until you give in or die - whichever comes first! This is truly a culture unto itself.

p.s. I STILL need help with my letter of how we met. ARGH. I have re-written it 6 times and it is STILL 5 pages long. I don't know how to cover everything in less words. Explain my recent divorce, explain that I SPEAK Vietnamese and WHY and WHY I have been to Vietnam 7 times, explain why I am ultra hot over a 5'4", 120 pound asian boy?!?!! AAAAA
Plus I am older than him (its OK for older men to marry younger girls but not older girls to marry younger boys - or havent you heard???!!) PLUS addressing the fact that the consulate will just ASSUME that he is the only son and has a responsibility to work for his family. Girls in VN are expected to get married, that is their duty but that isn't the case for boys there. His family is NOT traditional (obviously, or he wouldn't be such a freak of nature) but how will the consulate know???? I feel like someone dropped me into the weirdest family in Vietnam. (which works for me, as you can see by my personality!) hihihi

I wish I could just tell them the flat out truth: I'm an eccentric, OK???? I have the personality of a MAN and he has the personality of a WOMAN.

I know a lot of people will say I don't have to explain all this but please tell me how I can just say this and make our jaded government and the highest fraud consulate in the world believe it: Hello, I am a white American. I speak 80% fluent Vietnamese, plus read and write it. I speak as clearly as if I had been born and raised there. I am female but went to Vietnam by myself 7 times. I went there and learned the language before I met my man. Yes, I have been a model and could have any hot white guy sugar daddy with a Ferrari I want BUT I really want this short, skinny, young, poor, Viet boy who smells like a farm with no viable work skills who I will have to take care of for life. AAAAAA. Ok, I am a touch hyper about all this. How am I doing on hiding that? I just literally can't solve the conundrum of having an unusual case but trying to sound un-unusual. "Fly under the radar, fly under the radar" - PEOPLE, HE HAS BLUE HAIR. This isn't Europe, it's VIETNAM. Any thoughts, my VJ friends???

p.s. feel free to PM me.

Thanks all
ILOVETAN

AHAHAHAHAHAHA .... Hey American Gent - know any good donkey rental places locally? This about sums it up in a nutshell, don't it?

We spent a ton of time together every day, as much as we could. So I personally wouldn't call that excessive, unless it started to interfere with your work, etc etc.



I told you in the other thread that this came up -- they don't care about all that stuff, they don't want a Harlequin romance novel, they just want a BRIEF answer to that question. They don't care about your divorce or why you speak Vietnamese or why you love him, they only care to know the following things:

when, where and how you came to meet
how many times you've met in the interim
when you became engaged and/or decided to get married and subsequently decided to start this process.

try this -- answer the above in 250 words or less. that should help you.

You may need to unleash all of this during the interview, but you need to rein it in a lot when filling out the paperwork to start things off.

I actually don't know what I am worrying about - I have MORE than enough proof, I speak the language AND I make over the poverty limit by quite a bit. So what is the problem? I think I am just worrying because I love him so much .. and that is a good thing.

QUESTION: To use or not use: After I asked Tan to marry me and read about this process (need to save everything, get proof, etc) I asked the manager of the hotel we stayed at together to write her impression of us as a couple. She handwrote a full page about us. Should I include that? It's a little cheesy that I asked a stranger to write a letter about us but at the time, I didn't know what kind of proof the consulate would want, thought testimonials would be good...

I could have it translated to English (I could translate it but they may prefer certified translation) and what it says is over the top amazing ... like she wishes she could be worthy of love like we've found, that everyone in the hotel talked about us and asked about us because we looked so happy together, it gave everyone hope that true love is out there. WOW. Sweet, huh?

Opinions? Use or don't use?
Thanks
ILOVETAN

Not in Vietnam. However, should my patience wear much thinner, I shall do what my great great grandfather did when he was mad at his wife. He rode a mule thru the house.
Now I know US Marines protect the Embassy, but I think the shock and awe of me bearing down on them on the back of a mule will garner enough surprise that I can slip past their defenses and into the chief consulars office!!! Raaaaaa

~disclaimer: The above post is an attempt at humor and in no way indicates an actual plan of action from the poster~

You don't need a donkey. As you already know, you can fit a lot of stuff on a little scooter; a family of 4, a refrigirator, building materials, ect.

When I was working, we'd get 15 minutes a day on the phone at morning break time, which often stretched to double or triple that if I was the foreman, or could get by with it for some reason or other.

On weekends, and when I was laid off, it was the same as you 3, 4, 5 hours a day on Skype was pretty normal. As the months wore on (I once naively thought I would have to have a place ready by Thanksgiving 2007 instead of June 2008), the panic feeling kind of wore off as we got used to each other, and got used to things that can go wrong with the internet and phone system. And now, everything just seems kind of really very nice. OK, we'll see what happens when I go back to work.

I know you've probably heard this a million times, but do try not to worry so much about the details. There isn't one little detail that will make or break your case. Think big picture.

Simple answer. Print using a smaller font. and print from and back. Go green. If you want to go greener and tick off the consulate, put it on a cd.

My fiance(now hubby) (LOL) would email eachother lots of letters. He also mailed me cards and stuff. We also chatted on yahoo messenger and I also had a record of phone calls from my phone company. My hubby saved his phone cards (like a zillion) for evidence of calling me. Yeah we had tons of emails. To be honest I included a few samples of what i had:

copies of cards

copies of emails ( think maybe about 15 or so, maybe)

copies of phone bills showing i called Philippines

pictures of us together about 6 or so

What you should do is really make sure that you have documentation that spans the time you have known eachother. For instance I knew my fiance about a year before I petition him; so I had all my phone bills, cards showing dates on them, also the emails. I think they mostly want to see that instead of a zillion chat logs or whatever of a zillion emails. I carefully selected the emails and put them in a chronological order . I also read them over and tossed the ones that may have raised any kinds of questions or whatever, I made sure I only put in conservative letters , nothing too racy LOL or reference to drugs or alchohol or anything illegal HEHEHEHEHE! cuz the pre-screener at Manila did read some of the letters! LOL! Gud luck !

Here's a suggestion. Write a book, and publish it. Give it to them, and have them enjoy the drama

Even though we chat, we did not print any of our chat logs. We printed our emails. It's better that you proofread your emails and give them the emails that really speak of your relationship, love, sharing of happiness/sadness, discussion about future, ect...

If they think your marriage is a sham, they will read and compare. If they find your emails have many repeated phrases/messages, they will think you copy and paste everything single email you sent.

Use your common sense when collecting your evidence

Good advice, but do you think emails should be sent with the I-129f or only given at the Interview? Thanks
Jonas

It's really your choice. I do not see any difference.