We got to talking about weird exes over in the UK forum, and it started me wondering how many people have had stalkers...... or are and/or used to be one. I've definitely had my fair share, and have even considered becoming one once. How about you?

Well I never was one or ever had one and sure as hell don't want one either!

An ex. He couldn't get over the breakup so for a year he was busy stalking me and my family. I changed phone numbers many times, moved from one island to another, told my family not to give away any info about me, where I work and other information.....this guy just had an extra sense of finding me and getting away from cops. I feel safer here in the US and with my husband of course.

That guy gave us nightmares! But I wish he find his own happiness now.

I am female and have stalked someone.
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I am female and I've been stalked by a male
I am female and I've been stalked by a female.
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I am female and I've been stalked by more than one person.
I like chocolate-dipped Dairy Scream.

Well it depends on what you call a stalker. I was once a stupid teenager and called this guy non-stop and went to places he hung out at. I didn't go to his work or home and peek through his windows though. Maybe i was a half stalker .

My ex boyfriend stalked me also for a few months cos he could not get over the fact that I broke up with him.

Reminds me of John Favre's character in Swingers where he calls this girl's number and keeps leaving messages. As painful as it was to watch him, you couldn't help but feel sorry for him.


I've been in relationships where the other person avoided my calls. A lot of passive agressive behavior leads to things like that.

One of my friends recently met a girl - went on a couple of group dates with her....she expressed interest in him...wanted to get together with him, but kept cancelling dates. He was really smitten by her and at first just gave her the benefit of the doubt, but in the end, it only made him look less respectable in her eyes, IMO. When he finally stopped calling her, she was calling him and asking him if something was wrong.

I've never been stalked

Maybe I'm stalking U right now.....


I'm pretty sure P cyber-stalked me before we became a couple. He's got the mad skillz.

The female mind works in mysterious ways.


I had not so much a stalker, but an admirer in high school. I did not know he was my admirer until he stuffed a bunch of poems in my locker. One of these began with the line "woman, the pain you cause my soul." Needless to say, I was a little freaked out by this as I barely knew this guy's name(though we had the same bus stop).

I continued to pretend he didn't exist and he never contacted me again.

Until 10 years later, on the eve of the 10 year reunion (which I did not attend due to living in England at the time) he sent me an email from one of the reunion websites telling me he was really sorry for sending the poems and he hoped he hadn't "scared" me by them and he needed "closure" on the incident before the reunion. I emailed him and was like "dude, that is in the past and I haven't thought about it once since 1988. And don't worry, I'm not going to the reunion because I am living with my boyfriend in England."

I wonder if I will have to deal with this again before the 20th reunion.

I've had 2 internet stalkers.... both from California; both female.

Well I'll you Troll if you want?

That is a bit odd, but High School is an odd time for most teenagers. I remember having crushes on girls that I couldn't even make eye contact with. They were all out of my league.

There were these two girls back in my 8th Grade English class. The sat behind me. I would get tapped by someone behind me, turn around and see the two girls blowing me kisses and winking at me. They were doing it as some kind of tease, but I don't think I ever recovered.

I have a few VJ stalkers.

it's not me

Nagi, you promised not to tell anyone...

I know.

You were a stalker!



I remember a guy I went to public school with who was at my brother's 40th birthday bash. He had a few beers and confessed to me that he'd had a major crush on me at school but was too scared to ask me out.... for the same reason. I remember him being such a nice guy in school and I told him he should have asked because I would have gone out with him. When my son was in his teens, he and I had the same type of conversation when he mentioned not asking beautiful girls out because they're out of his league. I told him that beautiful girls don't get asked out half as much as people think they do and to just go for it. It seems to be working well for him.

RKL57.... that's a good story.

dammit....now I need to find me a time machine.

Try going for the less attractive ones. Chances are they are pure, and you won't have to worry so much that they are cheating.

I know! I feel the same way!

I had a stalker back in the early 80's at school when the I don't think it was even a word

Actually, it was quite frightening....I could sometimes just "feel" him behind me when I was shopping and he would be lurking behind something....he then started sending me porn mags and holiday brochures (don't ask...I don't know why ) through the post.

In the end another guy helpfully told me I should tell him to #### OFF! so I did very loudly one day. He ran away from school and entered the nearby US military base threatening to hijack an aircraft, fly it and kill himself....

seriously, the police came to my school and removed me from class....the female officer goes "why don't you just go out on a date with him....I'm sure everything will be fine then"

He never did turn up to our 20th school reunion but it was a story everone remembered

I had a female co-worker cyber-stalk me. It was creepy! We shared an office but she didn't speak to me. One day I was off work ill and the next day my browser history had suspiciously cleared. Up until that point because I work in a small office and because there's a good deal of trust in that office (every other guy who works there is a total sweetheart) I hadn't bothered to clear my history.

That didn't mean much. Anyway six months later I was off ill again and when I returned I looked up the browser history and somebody had been in my gmail inbox, reading all my e-mails (I'd left myself logged into googlechat by mistake). Then every time I went out to lunch I'd return and find stuff had been moved slightly on my desk - I could've sworn I left the mouse/keyboard at a different angle, that kind of thing. I started password-locking my desktop when I went to lunch. The next day I returned and my computer had been restarted in what I expect was an effort to circumvent the password.

Since I have my own image host/website I was able to keep track of statistics pretty easily. Soon I discovered that someone on my work IP was accessing my website three times a day! Then she discovered the forums I used to browse - I was an moderator on two so I could check IPs of members. Eventually I said enough was enough when I discovered she'd found my myspace and a couple of other sites I had never, ever looked at at work (using my e-mail address, I expect). I got permission from my boss to access the server and block every site I had ever visited. The next week she quit.

That's probably not the kind of stalking you meant but I'd still consider it stalking. Now she works in a job where she has access to people's sensitive medical information. Eep! I never really did keep anything interesting - I'm not stupid enough to mention names or addresses or work-related things online, and I had very few personal photos up, and none of those were compromising - so goodness knows why she'd forgo work just to camp on my websites all day.

I've not stalked anyone. As soon as I realised someone wasn't interested in me or that I was no longer interested in them I'd just drop them like a hot coal. I didn't want to embarrass myself by hanging on.

Oh my Words fail me...

You took the words right out of my mouth

Holy #### to the boldy bits!!!!! I think you win.



Wow. That is REALLY creepy.

aww, poor guy, i'll stalk you

I think I never had a stalker. I can't know for sure though, maybe someone's been stalking me for years now


I don't know if I was a stalker.. During the time my boyfriend and I were broken up [long story] I used to check his MySpace/Facebook to see who was leaving him comments on his profile. I still had his password to log the sites in and check his private messages, but I never did that [except when he had me correspond to one of his friends because he was too lazy to type so I would read her messages out loud and he'd tell me what to reply... but that was with his knowledge and while we were together so I don't think it counts]. So umm.. was I a stalker or not?

That is insane!! I can't believe he did that, but I also just can't believe the police dared to say that to you!! Was he still going to the same school with you after the incident?



Totally creepy. I think I would find that more disturbing than a real life stalker. She must have been totally obsessed with you. You think maybe she had a crush on you??

I had a stalker once. Now looking back at it, it was kind of cute, but I remember how I felt when it was going on and I was scared.

I had a fling with a Brazilian guy and when I ended it, he didn't take it so well and started camping in front of my house. He worked in a bar and would come over to my place in the middle of the night, ringing my doorbell and sitting in front of the door to my apartment for hours. He'd buy roses and rip the leaves off and filled my mailbox up with the rose petals all the way. He'd write love letters and slip them through under my door.

One morning I went to work and saw him coming out of the bushes with sleepy hair and an empty cup in his hand, on the way to the Italian place next door to get coffee! He had slept in the bushes in front of my house in a sleeping bag!

Elisson and I had serious communication problems though. He could only speak Portuguese and Italian and I could only speak a little bit of Spanish, so telling him to get lost was a bit difficult. I did yell "FOCK OFF" at him a few times, but that left him totally unimpressed.

He eventually stopped after four weeks. I ran into him a couple of years later and (he had learnt German by then) had a good chat with him. He apologised and had the nerve to give me his number and ask me for a date. Apparently I was even more beautiful than back in the days.

Was stalked for a bit after I left my ex...scared the patootie out of me. Of course, he claims it wasn't stalking since the divorce wasn't final at the time. Yeah...whatever.

I had a stalker but didnt realize it until i woke up and found him in my room.........until this day i thank God my mom is a lite sleeper...........there has been a lot of arguing over guns if they deter crime or are needed in the home........this is one case that i can tell u that yep there was a gun in my moms hand but she was to angry she forgot she could shoot him and used it instead to beat the crap out of his head.......the police came took him off to jail told my mom hes lucky u shoot him her reply.......... it never crossed my mind he made me so angry that he came into my daughters room that i really never thought about shooting him just killing him with my hands that little stalking trip earned him three years .........as the guest of our state pen........all joking aside it took me a long time to be able to even try to sleep in my room........and to this day i leave a light on

I've been stalked by 3 men. One was my ex husband. He stalked me and my friends. When I was leaving for the UK, I told him I was going to live with D, and that I was pregnant and we were having a baby. I did that to be nice, cos he needed to understand that he had to let go...and he knew me well enough to know that there would be NO reconciliation when a baby was involved. It was my way of being 'cruel to be kind'

He went out met, married, and impregnated a woman & had a 'revenge baby' which is so sad. Would hunt my friends down in parking lots, visit my friends at work to show them *HIS* baby (whom he creepily named after*our* cabbage patch doll when we were kids...and trust me, it's not a name you want to give a child, lolz). Anyhoo, he finally heard that there was no baby and went absolutely apesh!t in my friend's salon. The cops were called. I was too, hah. So I had to call him up at work from England and threaten and blackmail him that if I ever heard another peep from him in any way...from friends or anything else...that I would mail the birth certificate from the frickin doll to his wife so she could see what a DB he was for creating a baby for revenge. I told him to live a happy life, enjoy being a father, and leave me the hell alone.

I was stalked by an ex my first semester of college. He would come to my school and find my car (do you know how many cars that is???) and leave me mix tapes and tapes of him just talking to me, crying, etc. I'd change where I parked my car every day, and he'd always find it. He called me up one day and asked me to come to his mom's house, which I did...I had a broken leg at the time, so my mom drove me, heh. I walk into his parents' house and everyone's there...his parents grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. The mother - who really was a lovely woman - took the ring off her finger and gave to to my ex & he's proceeding to get down on one knee and I'm screamin inside my own head. He proposes (I was 17 years old ffs!)....My response...which was automatic and I really didn't think about what I said - was 'I don't even want to date you, let alone marry you'. His grandma starts cryin, the mother starts bangin the walls, He's stunned, and I'm like 'yeah, I'm gonna go now'

Then I got "YOU'RE SUCH A B!TCH AND I HATE YOU FOREVER!' messages on my car. It was keyed, etc. Eventually, it died down tho

But the most severe stalkin I ever had was with an ex who joined the military. It was insane and really scary. I was mean to him when we broke up (it was high school), and about two years or so later, he contacted me. I apologized for the past, and wanted to be friends. It was nice to make amends, and to be friends as he was going thru a scary thing with a family illness. So he leaves one day to report back to his base or whatever, and literally 20 hours later, he's at my door again. He said that he had such a good time getting to know me again, he drove up to SoCarolina, reported in or whatever, and requested more emergency leave, so then he DROVE STRAIGHT BACK DOWN. When I had the 'it's great to be friends but there's nothing there' talk with him, he got angry. He eventually left, and would mail sh!t to me...drawings and tapes and all sorts of disturbing stuff. A postcard with a lil boy and girl kissing with the caption 'I won't tell if you won't tell' One was a picture of a heart with a huge crack in it and the crack said my name in it. Then he actually put a bandaid over the crack and wrote 'Time?' on the bandaid. He'd call me up all angry and in a frenzy just start screaming at me 'Ive had enough of your ####, you need to choose It's either me or so and so!'

So I stopped taking his calls, returned everything he'd mail, and thought that was the end of that....then the REALLY STRANGE SH!T started. He then put in a transfer to Homestead AFB which was in Miami. (this is pre Andrew, heh). Said he was going to give me two years for me to figure out that he was meant for me. Hurricane Andrew wound up leveling Homestead, so he never did get the transfer btw...

So here I am thinkin it's ok cos he lives in South Carolina, but I left work one night to find him sitting on my car. I'm like 'wtf?' and he's all 'why won't you take my calls anymore!!!' It got heated and crazy. But he eventually left. He'd leave sh!t on my car too....a single rose when I'd be shopping at the mall, he'd show up at my work, he'd show up in the same restaurants where me and my exhusband (then just a bf) were. I'd be driving down the street in Miami and he'd be literally in the car beside me honkng and waving. My ex wanted to kill him, but I kept trying to keep them apart. One time we were in a restaurant, and he was there with a girl who looked just like me! My ex and I left thru the fkin kitchen, walked out the back, and around to his car...only to find him there WITH his date, sitting on our car while he was 'YOU NEED TO TALK TO ME LISA!'

There was loads of stuff I'm glossing over, but it was scary and freaky and really horrible. My mother wound up getting the air force involved because it was so out of hand. Turns out, he had gone AWOL to stalk me.

Never anything I would really consider a "stalker".

I've used the term loosely before, but I don't think any of my experiences would really qualify!

It can be really scary! Sorry to all who have gone through it!

High school is an odd time - that is for sure. Never understood the nostalgia for being a teenager. I have been looking up people from school on classmates and the myspace page for my school. Need to find out who got married to each other, who turned out to be gay, who got fat, etc.

Oh I forgot a few things about my ex. He was fighting the divorce and would come to my house EVERY NIGHT to bring me a Dunkin Donuts coffee. He'd leave them on my doorstep when I wouldn't answer the door. He'd lay on my porch and cry and beg me to open the door. D and I hooked up a few mos later and it was still happening...I think it happened until I moved away over a year later. D would constantly tell me to call the cops, but I didn't have the heart cos I felt he just needed time to adjust since the divorce came as such a shock (unrelated to D btw)....

One time, it was like a Sunday cos I was sleeping in...I hear pounding and screaming at my door. So I go to the door, and THE FIRE DEPARTMENT IS STANDING THERE. I open the door, and I'm like 'hi?' and they're like 'your husband called, said that there might be a problem' and I'm like 'wtf?' Well, apparently, since I put my celly on silent and took the house fone off the hook, my husband called the fire department and said his wife (technically, yes, but we were estranged) had just had brain surgery (not 'just' and it wasn't like there were any issues at that point cos I was fully recovered), and he was concerned because he couldn't contact me and was worried that I might've fallen out of bed or something (wtf?). So there's the fire department at my door, and there's me stood in a nighty in front of all of them. hahaha. But what a fkin waste of taxpayers' money!

One kinda funny thing. I had left my house in Ft Laud vacant and moved up here with my family for several mos before I moved to England. I opened up a PO box for my ex to have contact info for me (in another city, not in the same city where my family is btw) because we still had loads of unfinished biz to resolve. So my ex was fully aware that I was no longer in Lauderdale. Anyhoo, my house was nowhere near where he was living...and one time D came to visit and we drove down to Lauderdale. We stayed in my house..but the car was in the garage, so you really couldn't tell that anyone was there. Well, on the FIRST NIGHT we stayed down there, my ex puts a '2 for 1' coupon for dinner in the mailbox with a note on it for 'me and my houseguest'. D was like 'wtf?' but it was strange that he had like some homing device to know I was there.

This was all well before the baby incident, mind you.

Whoaaa...some freaky stories

Lisa...I think I would be a nervous wreck by now

this makes me glad that my exes have only been a little creepy and not actually psycho

Oh, God, girls, you do have some scary stories!

I'm glad I never had anything similar in my life. I'd be soooo freaked out.

You have no idea, lolz.

There's actually so much more that I won't divulge...it's made for some interesting times, that's for sure!

Yeah I have had an ex stalk me. Stalk me to the point of a restraining order and going to jail. I worry though his restraining order just ended and now he has been in contact with my family. Well guess I don't have anything to worry about as I am leaving to USA in 7 days. Well I hope I have nothing to worry about!

I have never stalked anyone nor have I ever been stalked.

I do know someone who was stalked when she was a teenager. She was about 15 and the man was in his 40s. He would follow her to school, to her house, anywhere she went. Her parents called the police but he was always able to elude them. He did for about 3 years until she moved away.

A friend of mine was stalked by an ex-boyfriend. He would show up at the office, at her home, when she was out with friends. Everyone thought he was just being friendly as he knew most of her family and friends. People began to get worried when he started telling everyone that they were getting married, even though she was in another relationship. When he wouldn't back off she started to spread the rumour that she was moving away. She did in fact take some time off and went to Europe. He finally stopped stalking her and she never heard from him again.

estadia - good for your mother! I love how she 'forgot' to shoot him and it's good that he did actually receive jail time for it.

Some of the stories in this thread are crazy, and just go to show how dangerous stalkers can really be. It's a pity they're often not taken more seriously by the police (as Welshcookie's story showed).

i had been stalked by a guy i never liked.

Never been stalked...and never stalked anyone!

Yeah, I have been stalked by an ex once. I think he also killed my cat but have no proof. Fortunately (though not for them!) he moved on to stalk someone else after that and they called the cops. Haven't heard from him since.

And Lisa,

Wow. That's just crazy you guys. And, holy crap, Derekkj! He killed your cat?!!!

Well, as I said, I have no proof. But poor Hank disappeared the same day I found a jacket of mine that I had left at his place by our front door. Hank was found dead a few days later and I know this guy was crazy enough to kill an innocent cat. I never saw Brian again but I did hear through the grapevine that he started stalking some underage girl and her family called the cops on him and he was in a world of trouble.

Karma is a ######.