So my friend back home is about to go on Maternity leave and we were talking about how nice it is to have the 12 month time period to heal as well as being with your newborn.

From what I have found on the U.S. side is that Maternity leave is typically 12 weeks (3 months) unpaid leave. Do I have this right?

Seems a little daunting compared to what's back home....

I think it depends on the company in the U.S. as well, I know some will give you only as much as 6-8 weeks. I'm not sure if there is a legal standard amount of time that they have to promise you your job back.

Some companies might offer you parental leave too, but again I think it all depends.

I don't think you collect EI (or equivalent) in teh U.S. either, which you do in Canada.

We have it very very good in Canada. This is the one thing I'm really dreading. I hope I'm at a point in my career where I can afford to a) quit and stay at home for a bit and afford to do that.

I read somewhere along the lines that in Sweden they have the best Maternity Leave....1 year at 100%!!! plus mandatory 3 weeks prior to due date you must take off...paternal leave that's paid....they are very supportive of people having time to recoup and all about families....

I will definitely miss the Maternity Leave part of Canada.....I don't know what will happen when the day comes but it seems very soon to leave your little one with someone when they are only a few months old....

The US is very behind Canada with respect to maternity leave. This is one thing I am going to have a real hard time wtih. My fiance and I have already discussed in great deal so I think what we are going to do is once I find a job we are going to try to live off just his income and put my income aside for when I have to go off on maternity leave!

One of the reasons my USC husband came over here when we got married is maternity benefits- I was off work before the birth for 9 weeks on full pay, then get 26 weeks fully paid maternity leave and another 16 weeks unpaid if I want it.

Are you in Switzerland?

That's a nice Maternity Leave....

No, we are in Ireland.

(federally mandated) Materinity leave in the US is 6 weeks, unpaid. Some companies may also allow you FMLA (family medial leave act) leave up to 3 months (again, unpaid, but you still have a job of some sort). That's it. I honestly don't know how they do it. Not that I'd ever need it myself (over 40 and infertile anyway) but sheesh, its barbaric.

Are there Day Care facilities in the U.S. that take in infants at 3 months?

Yes I believe so.

Awe that is really refreshing to see that countries care about the Moms....



Wow...that just seems strange to me because I don't think I've ever seen young infants like that left to Day Cares......this is definitely a big adjustment when the day comes when we have kids....

Any VJ Moms here who came from Canada to the U.S. and took Mat leave? I'm interested to hear what you thought of things...

There are daycare facilities that will take them as young as 6 weeks. sigh....I do wish the U.S. was more liberal with maternity and family care than they are. I remember when my twin sons died (stillborn, still had to go through labour) I was allowed only TWO weeks to be at home. The administrator of the school where I was working at the time thought that was gracious plenty and that my job was too critical for me to have more than that, since....she left the rest of that sentence unfinished.

I resigned from that position when the school year ended.

yeah, for a country who pays so much lip service to family values and importance of a nuclear family, in practice, they really don't seem to give 2 shits do they?

(((hugs))) to Karen

Oh my GOD, Karen. That's horrible. You would have been treated so differently in Canada. I am so sorry you had to go through all that.

As for me..... when I was having kids it was like the US is now.... only 6 weeks off. So I guess you could say they're at least 30 years behind the rest of the developed nations in that aspect.

Yes it really is disgusting that the US doesn't value the necessary bonding between newborns & their mothers. I shudder to think what the long term effects are going to be on a generation that is stuck in daycare at 6 weeks old (often full-time too) and never gets to bond with their family like they should. It truly scares me.

I actually see more emphasis on career development in the US than in Canada and not much on family values here (unless you want to call sticking to a rigid schedule of organized sports/activities & not really spending any time with your kids, family values.) It sucks! And the way things are most families here can't afford to take that time off with their little ones. Call me old fashioned, but I think kids should be with their moms until they're at the very least 3-5 years old. I learned in psychology classes that this early time is critical to forming the child's values & morals and sense of security.

Well, I am very sad to have left Canada because of it. I want 1 kid, and workin gat a vet, I seeone of the vet at the moment, she is 30 weeks pregnant and she still does surgery, with the anesthesia gaz around and all.

While in Quebec, when you are pregnant in that profession you are only allowed to do paperwork, no X-rays, no surgery, no nothing, they don't even want you to touch the animals so you won't get bit and get any infections.

I really don't know what I am going to do It's not uncommon to have a big dog freak out and kick you in the stomach while we are trying to hold it.

And the other thing, what my hubby was doing with his ex and the kids, he was working days and she was working nights, so the kids would aloways be at home with one of them. It's great for the kids, but hell of a way to kill a couple. It wasn't well between them, but that situation sure didn't help anything at all.

I wouldn't want my newborn in daycare though. Maybe work night shift for 1 year ? and then when the baby is a little older go back to days and put it in daycare ?

/sigh

Similar to Germany. Mandatory one month prior to due date. I'm not sure about the financial terms after birth, but P's mom is a midwife there and my best friend just had to go back to work because her son turned 2, or she'd have to forfeit her job (they've held it for her). She received income from her job for quite a long time, perhaps a year? Then she received money from the state of Bavaria until she went back to work.

Karen ((((hugs)))) Here I would have however many sick days I've accrued at my job (which currently would be about 5 plus the 10 I get each year). I could take a leave from my job for up to one semester with a guarantee for the same position back (I might have to come in and do some admin work while on leave if I wanted to keep the department head position) or a year with a similar schedule. The irony is I teach in a Catholic school...you don't get much more pro-family than that (supposedly).

There doesn't seem to be much push or drive from Mother's in the U.S to want to change the current Maternity Leave.....

My husband and I were talking over the weekend about this and strongly feel that our future family is more important than adhering to a restricted short term Maternity Leave....I can't imagine if I were left with someone else to look after me when I was an infant. Not that I have been a Mother yet but I can imagine that it would be very hard for a mother to leave her child at such a young age....perhaps even contributing to depression???? or Post partum depression?

It's probably very hard to concentrate as a working Mom knowing that your newborn is with someone else....

I'm just going to move back home when I get pregnant...

Seriously, this is one of the crappiest parts of moving there for me....so stupid!!!!

I don't know if my husband and I will get around to having kids. It is just very difficult to do it here and maintain a career trajectory too.

It depends on the company how much leave you can take. I believe my company gives 6 weeks paid leave and after that it is vacation or unpaid leave.

From my perspective (and I don't adhere to this philosophy) people in the US are very career driven. They want to have it all, all the toys, big house, big career, big paycheck, and kids too. It just doesn't work. I have seen co-workers take risks during their pregnancies because they fear disapproval from others. They don't want anybody thinking they are using their pregnancy as an excuse to not do their job to the fullest (or fear being passed up on a promotion or opportunity). Also, if they are the insurance holders of the family they are really forced to maintain their full-time status. Another thing, I'm noticing more and more women who are the breadwinners of the family (i was one of them in my previous marriage). It's way too much pressure and I have many regrets.
This topic gets me so fired up, I must move on now.

I wonder if the USA had the generous maternity leave that Canada does, how many women would actually make use of it? I work with a girl who said she wished maternity leave wasn't six weeks, that there was NO WAY IN H*LL she would say home with any of her kids...and this from a fellow educator.

I would rather a couple NOT have kids and decide on a career instead rather than have this attitude. At the school where I teach, we have a before school and after school program. I know of at least three kids that are there when I arrive (7:30am) in the before school program AND are in the after school program until at least 5pm, which is when I leave most days. How sad...for the kids. *sigh*

I understand where you're coming from, Karen, but I don't think it's as sad as it seems. My kids had to do the same thing and they are perfectly, well-adjusted, happy and highly successful adults now. When you choose the right program it can enhance their education. And they also enjoy the social experience of being with other kids. It's not so bad.

But as a Mother wouldn't you feel stressed about parting ways with your baby at such a young age? Just trying to understand how people feel....

Definitely. I was very stressed about it. (I had my children in the days when you only received 6 weeks off.) But having a responsible care-giver whom you trust, and whom your children love, definitely helps to take the edge off.

I guess I was expressing how sad I felt at how long the day is for these kids who are at school from who knows how early (before school opens at 6:30am) and having to stay late like some I've seen. 10 hours is a long time, at least to me. I agree, some kids adapt really well. I do think it's the quality of home life once they DO arrive home. That can make a huge difference.

I would find it very hard to leave my new baby with a sitter or day care at 6 weeks.

I feel for the mom's in the usa that have to go back to work so early.

I personally am a pretty career driven person and while I would love to take a full year off, will be totally fine with 3-6 months if I can swing it. I know it will be hard to leave my baby, but at the same time, putting a child in daycare is also very beneficial for them.

My sister stayed home with my nephew until he was 2 and honestly, it was only after that he started being more social and less clingy to my sister. All of the kids I know who started daycare before the age of 1 are very very smart and could sing songs and are much more independent than my nephew.

I think that being well rounded is really important for everyone in a family. I want a career, family, kids, vacations, a city-oriented lifestyle - maybe some would say that is asking too much or having it all.... but I think it's also the time we spend together as a family that is important and just one element to life. My kids will also have their own lives too eventually so I need to ensure I keep mine too. That's the way I look at it.

So here's my question:

As a Canadian women who lives in the US, I guess I couldn't run back to Canada to have a baby right? I guess I wouldn't be allowed to have access to healthcare without living back in Canada? Just a question.

Nice try, though.

dammmnnittttt!!

In Germany, being a SAHM is literally a job. A few weeks after my daughter was born, I got a letter and an ID number/card from the equivalent of the SSA there. I asked my husband what that was all about. He said that in Germany, after you have a child, the government acts as your employer and starts contributing to your social security for you.

Germany is a little odd though, depending on how you want to look at it. If you are unemployed when you are pregnant, you are basically written off for getting a job until your child is around two. They seriously don't expect anyone to hire you and even if they did, young child care is something of a very precious commodity there. Places in daycare are extremely difficult to come by. From what I understand, they remove you from the pool of unemployed for statistical purposes until they deem you employable. You would still get unemployment though. You could work, but who would watch your child?

In Argentina it is 6 weeks paid + additional 6 months unpaid...
And if you choose to come back before the 6 months, you can request breast feeding schedule, where you work part time but get paid as if working full time...

Add: the employer pays in full for medical coverage for you and your inmediare family, free elective system to choose the medical insurance of your choice, accesible awesome private healthcare which covers 100% of all bills...

<End vent>

Saludos,
Caro

Makes me wonder if a country is so career driven then what about the future in having generations to keep the country going? I know for me, my career for the longest time was the focal point...more and more of my female friends don't have kids until later in life or even elect not to have kids....

Wish there was something we could do...

I've had 2 children since being in the states. The thing that killed me is how expensive it is to have kids here even with insurance. In Nevada when I was working my workplace only offered 6-8 weeks Maternity leave but the State FMLA was 12 weeks so thats what I took. We didn't have to do the daycare thing after that as my husband worked dayshift and I worked swing shift. It sucked cuz we rarely saw each other. Hospital bill was $2300 plus the med bills we had to pay ourselves cuz I didn't get onto med insurance through work til I was 6 months along (they only had open reg once a year).

In Oklahoma when we had our second child I was a SAHM which rocked plus Hubby had better job and way better insurance. Hospital bill was $1500 plus around $2000 or 3,000 for things like ultrasounds, and amniocentese(sp?) as I was almost 44 when we had our second child. I actually had it the first time too as I was 42 when child #1 came, lol.

All in all it wasn't too bad but I would have loved the one year mat leave after the first one!!

Joanne