Well for someone who gets I wouldn't expect any different.

Hey man, I let it go, I didnt respond to AK or the others who supported you becuase I thought that maybe I was a little over the top. Why dont you let it go to, we can chalk it up to a misunderstanding and move on.

Deleted (:

I can only assume that you have little interest in meeting and marrying an American. Have you considered seeking a non-Russian? If you need a translator to communicate that is a huge obstacle in my view. Consider the Philippines. The women are loving and loyal. Another advantage is that they speak English fluently. Visa fraud is less than 10 percent. I am married to a Filipina and she is a blessing to me.

Oh im so sorry to hear....but i leave this word with you."ALL THINGS WORK FOR GOOD FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE LORD"

i wish you all the very best where ever this life leads you

citation needed for that.

Irish, I can tell you from experience, that any woman expecting her "rich American boyfriend" to pony-up $3500 for something that should cost less than half of that is going to also expect him to pony-up a new car, a nicer house, money for English classes and college, money for shopping trips, etc., etc., etc. all while she doesn't work. She'd probably also expect diamonds and nice clothes and that sort of thing as well, all the while STILL not working.

Truth be told, you guys probably jumped into this a little quickly and were both really genuine but it just didn't work out. And in all actuality, you're lucky it didn't! You would've been fighting an uphill battle for the first couple of years and with her age and already having a kid, it's likely a battle that you wouldn't have won since she's more than likely already set in her ways. She already had her mind made up and the money spent and it's probably good that she did.

$600? You got off cheap!



I'll give Filipinas a big . Their material expectations pale in comparison to those of their big white sisters. As long as it's not an ethnic/racial thing for you, make sure you click on the PI button as well when you search for girls.

Either way, get back on the horse!

I dunno man. Aiming for someone with "low expectations" seems...well...I dunno. I certainly prefer high expectations in a woman. I know my wife has them. If I tried to pull any of the BS I read about people pulling on their american wives (fooling around, control/power games, and whatever else), she would have none of it. She has enough brains to know she shouldn't put up with BS from a husband.

We're talking about material expectations here, nothing about fooling around, control/power, etc. For women who have the expection of $3500 travel to Moscow to stay comfortably in the lap of luxury for a few days, a trip that should cost somewhere in the ballpark of maybe $1000, her expectations are going to be stepped up exponentially after arrival to the U.S. where she'll then expect to live in the lap of luxury for the rest of her life.

And that's not aiming for someone with low expectations, that's aiming for someone with a perception of reality that either mirrors or compliments your own. If you can't afford to live in the lap of luxury yourself, perhaps you shouldn't choose a woman who expects it. One that is at least appreciative of having a place to live and food to eat would be better than one that is never happy with the place you live and the food you eat.

I see where you're going with this and I agree. However, in the case of "clicked on your profile, liked what I saw, let's get married" it doesn't always work out that way. Some folks get lucky (or do more research) and find exactly what they're looking for. Others only see what they want to see until it's too late and both are commited to the process. Sometimes they go through with it and sometimes they don't. Truly, the lucky ones don't because they leave open the possibility to find the one that will compliment their life and make it work together with them.

Sure, I've met some Filipinas with high expectations, but their high expectations ("I would like a nice house and car for our family.") pale in comparison to the high expectations of the Russian/FSU women ("Where is my Ferrari, blat?")

Reminds me of my professor's rant today about how her countrymen today are all about DEN'GI DEN'GI DEN'GI whereas before all they wanted was to be close to the earth or something. I do have female friends here who are otherwise very sweet girls who are incredibly focused on their potential boyfriends' earning potential in a way I have never seen in American girls. Well, you do see it sometimes in the US, but they're never nice girls.

OK - if you limit to "material" expectations - then I will agree. Finding someone who is realistic about how money works is not finding someone with low expectations (:

But my experience, Russian women are not all about high material expectations. Of the ones I know, I don't think any really fall into that category. Gold diggers come in all shapes, sizes and nationalities. I don't think Russia has a lock on them.

It seems now that Russians have realized they can be rich, they're willing to do almost anything to get the DEN'GI, sometimes to the detriment of their own morality. (Male and female.) Americans can be the same way but as you've pointed out, Americans that are all about the money are usually evil with evil intentions. Russian girls seem to be very nice and sweet... but he better have money, blat!



Exactly. But, I will say, by and large, Filipinas have a WAY more realistic standard when it comes to material expectations. There aren't too many of them that've been spoiled by married and older rich oligarchs or mafia types. Most of the "lucky" Filipinas have had a nice boyfriend that treats them well and takes them places. Not treats them to $1000 dinners and flies them to Turkey on the weekends.

That's where the standards differ.



Russia doesn't have a lock on gold diggers but as mentioned above, they're really nice girls and there's sometimes a thin line between the gold diggers and the girls just looking for a nice man. However, the girls that are Russian gold diggers set the standard! They don't have low expectations, they go for the gold!

I think it comes down to an attitude that they are worth a man who can provide them with all of these things, so why settle for anything less?

do they carry a pickax and pan around too?

I am so happy, when I read threads like this, my Alla's future husband requirements were 90% character traits and 10% financial. "Jeffery, will we live on street if I marry you?" No, my love. "Will you work?" Yes, my love. "Must I work too in America?" It will help! "Okay, I consider I will." Financial discussion finished!

It does come from that. However, the majority of girls who "insist" on having a man that provides them with those sort of things seem to forget the fact that they've either never had a man like that or if they did he was already married with kids or in the odd case that he was single he had about three other girls that he was treating so well. Or he was significantly older. I've yet to meet the girl who was happily married to a faithful guy her own age that bought her everything she wanted and didn't expect her to work.

I've known plenty of girls who've demanded their "boyfriends" pay for all that crap but just can't seem to find a husband willing to do so. Funny how that works.



I truly hope you don't have to discuss it further after she arrives. I was under the impression that the "short" conversation my wife and I had was sufficient for her to understand how economics worked here in the U.S. but we've had several more financial discussions, especially those relating to her employment, since she's arrived. I hope you fare better!

Irish, I know I am late to this post, but as I just joined yesterday I wanted to express my sympathy. It sounds to me like you dodged a bullet here, and if so it was for the best. My prior bad experiences have led me to my Viktoria, and my life's happiness. You will find the same. Live and learn, and hang in there.

Hi all. It's been a few weeks and I thought I would check in. I read the thread from Bruc and although it sucks, I see I am not alone here.
I do sit on my deck in the morning and sometimes think what a shame.. but mostly I think what a stupid girl.. could have been a good life.
One of my Russian friends had talked to my ex-fiancee on the phone a couple of months back and NOW she tells me that she thought something wasn't right! Thanks for telling me
I do agree that it worked out for the best.. and I'm back on the bicycle!

Since this happened, my Russian/Ukranian friends have set me up on a couple of dates with their friends. I appreciate their efforts very much and although blind dates don't bother me, the gals (my friends) are kinda pushy.. (What do you think?), (Do you like her?), (She is very lonely.), etc.

It looks as if I am going to go to Kiev/Kherson in a couple of months.. hopefully more patient and wise. I am using an Agency that is on everyones trustworthy list and it has been a good experience.

Good to be back and who knows, maybe I'll have to go through this entire process again!

Joe

Thank you so much.. soon to be mrsartis is quite a blessing as well.. she is an accountant and doing well herself, but she chose to be with me who has no home yet, but is willing to strive hard for my future family.!

-mike

Joe,

Just an advice and word of wisdom.....this time try to find some Russian/Ukrainian girl that speaks at least a little bit English and you won't need a translator, believe me, your life will be much easier than having this 3rd person between you and your next SO. Besides, you never know if the translator was and will be translating the right thing as well.

Best of luck, Joe! Just remember not to be too anxious to find your girl...be picky! You'll find a good one as long as you don't give up. Keep us updated, bud!!!

[/quote]
It seems now that Russians have realized they can be rich, they're willing to do almost anything to get the DEN'GI, sometimes to the detriment of their own morality. (Male and female.) Americans can be the same way but as you've pointed out, Americans that are all about the money are usually evil with evil intentions. Russian girls seem to be very nice and sweet... but he better have money, blat!

Russia doesn't have a lock on gold diggers but as mentioned above, they're really nice girls and there's sometimes a thin line between the gold diggers and the girls just looking for a nice man. However, the girls that are Russian gold diggers set the standard! They don't have low expectations, they go for the gold!
[/quote]

As usual - Slim has a sense of humor about the situation You mentioned Kherson, where my fiance' hails from. I didn't use an agency to meet her, but she does really have some different ideas about money and life generally than I do - so I can relate. What I can tell you is that there are plenty of sincere women in Ukraine who have no issues about following their man wherever. I think taking the step and going to meet some one else is a good one, and I wish you luck.

You'll be able to take what you know now and really apply it. As said above, take some time, consider "all your options" and really focus on what you're looking for. You now know what NOT to look for, and that'll really help you out. Good luck, and keep us posted.



I really mean that. The girls I've known from the P.I. have been awesome! If you're truly searching "around the globe" for a wife, the P.I. is a good place to start. So many good girls, and most of them have their $#!T together too and don't expect a husband to support them. They're happy with a husband that loves them.



You probably didn't see Irish's initial posts or his website, but basically, he went searching "around the globe" for a perspective wife (and had several "possibles" lined up) and then narrowed the search to just one and they gave it a go. His was truly a case of "clicked on your profile, liked what I saw, let's give it a shot." They tried to get it done through a translator and a couple of dates, but in the end, she chose not to go through with it. If you could see his website (it's in a link on one of his posts somewhere on here) then you'd understand where I'm coming from in saying "keep pedaling!" He was truly "open" to the possibility of finding his wife overseas, and I'm sure he's still open to it despite what happened this time around. Rough draft, so to speak.

Good luck Irish!!!

If any one can steer me towards that thread with Irish's website, I would like to check it out (if he left it up).

Hey Brad.. I took it down.

What a shame - I wanted to see what (who) your nemesis was bitching about

I'm sorry. After all this work...I know its tough. Things will look up...be hopeful