ok guys, this is one of these sad endings that i never thought i will go thru ...i did all the steps to bring my wife overseas ...and after living here and having a baby, i found out she was cheating, and the only reason she married me is to come here to the states and see her lover...this was 7 months ago ..now,i got the divorce from state now and custody
(she left with me and never asked about all these 7 months)..at first i asked a lawyer what i can do to take her 10 year green card away, he said i advice u not to do anything, because they may think (home land sec) that it was all a setup marriage..so i didnt do anything, after a month i thought of calling the ins, and asked them if i can do anything, the lady said, send all the info you can send about what happened, but you will never know if we do or dont do anything about it...now im asking you guys, it was about this time that we were going to apply for her to get her citizen ..can she still get approved if i dont sign off on it, does she need me to sign off on it? can i do anything else to stop her from becoming a citizen ?i would be thankful for any help...

I am very sorry for what happened to you. Sometimes it is hard to beleive a mother can act like this.
I would also say that revenge is not really the answer. If you let he live her life the way she wants then something will come along and bite her in the a$$ ... I am a big beleiver in treating other people as you would want to be treated...

I think you should live your life well and be a wonderful father to your child.

Not too hard to believe, but found it hard to believe she got pregnant with your child, suppose you went through a DNA check to be sure. Makes a guy want to stay single from the fairer sex, those gals that marry only to get a divorce and cream you in the process, especially if they get real interested in your assets early on. Always subtle things to watch out for and prey on your ego to what a such great guy you are. Some are very quick to jump into bed, the worse kind to watch out for. A lot like our politicians that already know what to say to get elected, but a different story once they are in.

I-751 doesn't help, spouse can claim abuse or hardships and still stay here, probably wouldn't say they gave you money to come here, they would get deported while you go to jail. And if you pursue this matter with the USCIS, can easily backfire, in cases like this it is the word of one person against the others and guess who the courts love to favor especially when they get on the stand and cry like a baby.

If you feel you were cheated and have good proof and an attorney, can sue her for the expenses you encountered. Really nice to hear about another guy that custody of his children, that is also rare. Think back about any subtle or nuances that may have occurred when you first met her and watch out of those next time, if there is a next time. I was darn sure about this one, but still gave it a couple of years before tying the knot.

thanks for your kind words..its not a matter of revenge , its a matter of legal status, i dont want to her to become citizen and bring her family because of me, i dont..thanks again for your knd words, my baby is my life...

thats what scares me that it will backfire on me....

Forget about it and don't be an ###. Do you really want your kid to be deported, with your wife, to wherever she is from? That is possible and has happened.

Sure, she used you - then again, maybe she didn't. If she had a kid with you, it's possible she wasn't using you. Maybe this attitude of yours now, is a reflection of things you said or did or had an attitude about during the relationship - which led her to hook up with an old flame? Why wouldn't she have married the old flame instead? Unless the old flame was an LPR, but even then she could have waited.

It just is not worth it, to either of you.

Not to mention, she is a woman, no matter what she does all she has to do is scream VAWA. Once she does that, she could quite likely get your visitation privileges of your child taken away. Do you really want that to happen? She has a trump card, your child, if you want your child - you don't want her to claim you have abused her and claim VAWA. If you don't mind the risk of losing the child, you can become Federal Evidence against her Naturalization Petition.

She does not need your signature for the Naturalization Petition. She needs nothing from you for it.

The only thing you could do is write a letter, containing all evidence - including her A# and other documents, to CIS to be included with her file - and inform them that you have discovered that, even though you loved her and married her with the intent of having a bona fide marriage, she did not love you and did not have that intent. That she was using you to gain immigration status, bring her family, and move on. Even then, that sounds flimsy. You would have to have some pretty damning evidence to show that. And then, all she has to say is, "I said that out of anger, because he is an #######." Claim VAWA if they try to take your petition away, and you're screwed.


Forget about it.

I can understand how you feel and it's easy for me to sit hear and type this. But I would let it go. I also do believe that eventually people will get what they deserve. She's going to someone who either helped her planned this or agreed to her doing this to you. What kind of person is this. He could easily use her in the future or she use him. Let these people fight the wars between themselves. As hard as it may be, just use this as something to learn from and let it help you be a better person.

I am sorry that this happened to you. If she has her 10 year card already then you have done what you can - reported it to USCIS and provided them with the information. Regarding citizenship, she is able to file on her own but not yet. Since she is no longer married to the American citizen through whom she got her permanent resident status she needs to wait until she has been a Permanent Resident for 5 years before she is eligible to apply. It will probably take about another year for processing and approval, if she is approved. When she submits her application USCIS will definitely look very closely at her and that is when the information about her apparent immigration fraud that you sent to them will be scrutinized. If they do find that she did indeed abuse the immigration system, then she will be denied citizenship and possibly deported. The thing is, you will probably never know one way or the other. Enjoy your child and recognize that something good (your child) remains even though the marriage itself was flawed. Good luck.

let me tell something thank you for reading and replying, but i didnt ask you to tell me y she left and its not your business...all i was asking for was a way for me to stop her, if there was any, and i think the sad part there is not..that all i needed to know, i dont need you to figure out what happened, i know exactly what happened ...and my baby is with me with full legal and physical custody and she does not want here and never asked about her..so thats the most important thing for me...thanks anyway for your reply...

sorry LV Couple ..my response was for maztec..

I cant see how it could possibly backfire on you. You have custody and the divorce is final. The only one that stands to lose is her, even more so in light of the fact you did get custody. That's like only a 10% chance for the father. If it were me I would do all I could to get her deported. Its not like they can deport your or the child. And they cant sue you or anything.

Siga said:

the lady (USCIS?) said, send all the info you can send about what happened, but you will never know if we do or dont do anything about it.

So if he does send in all the information, that is up to the USCIS to decide her fate, if any.

Siga asks:
now im asking you guys, it was about this time that we were going to apply for her to get her citizen ..can she still get approved if i dont sign off on it, does she need me to sign off on it? can i do anything else to stop her from becoming a citizen ?

For the three year, she has to prove she is still married and living with you, after a divorce, you would be lying to agree to help her. For the five year, she doesn't need you.

This is a highly emotional issue and depending on your state or even country, a divorce gives your spouse a license to steal with the attorneys getting a big hunk of your hard earned cashed. In my state, they favor the woman, in my wife's country, even though we can prove he never contributed to his family or the property, he left her country? But he still is entitled to half of everything she worked hard and paid for. Her country treats the divorce separate from the liquidation. She took care of the divorce, but left the liquidation go. Since we registered our marriage in her country, I have a say in this matter, so took the pressure off my wife and I deal with this guy directly. Property after seven years is still sitting there, but we are paying the taxes and maintenance on it. Has to be settled in court and he doesn't have a dime to go to court. I have plenty of money, but why should I settle so he gets half of everything, so I just let it sit. Does that make me a bad guy? Not in my opinion, he can take it to court anytime he wishes. Wife gets upset about this, but we have plenty here, so why bother?

Wife gets upset because she worked for years to pay her properties off, but I showed my settlement, I got nailed five times as much as she did. Just glad to get rid of my ex. We don't talk about this very much, just spend most of our time being happy with each other, but still in the background.

But it is an emotional issue.

Actually it would be in your best interests if she did become a US citizen. She is already a LPR with a ten year green card so there is nothing you can do to have her deported. Her becoming a US citizen is one of the very few ways you can get off the hook for the I-864. Regardless whether she remarries or not you are still legally bound to insure she doesn't become a burden on the state for 10 years. I understand that you are bitter but revenge doesn't help anyone.

Was going to also ask about the I-864, is Sega still liable for it even after his divorce? Would be a door left open for his ex to cream him.

siga - consider a few things - you can't do too much at this point to help or hinder her (you already sent USCIS the info suggesting fraudulent marriage); your child's mother is linked to you because you had a child together. No matter how bad she is or isn't, the baby should have a relationship with the mother (thank you Dr. Phil) or she may blame you for not letting her/him have a mother the rest of their lives. Do not dwell on what bad stuff she had done or how you are the victim or the need for revenge for this - instead focus on the good things - you have a loving child; you are no longer with a bad/fraudulent person; you have the rest of your life to find someone better.
Please send a check for $5,000 as a retainer for these sessions. Good Luck

Siga, Siga, Siga...I just had to respond to this post and say that when you say it's none of our business, you're the one who told us the parameters of your relationship and divorce. You're the one who opened yourself up to discussion of your marital, or lack there of, situation. You could have just asked your question by stating, "I think my ex-wife used me for her greencard and I'd like to prevent her citizenship application". We would have told you to collect all evidence and submit it to USCIS and let them decide what they need to do with it.

Don't get defensive...we're here to help...but as was stated before, you're on the hook for your ex and I would want her to have citizenship so that you don't get slapped with any sponsorship responsibilities.

Your eye opener is right here...

What is an Affidavit of Support?
If you are bringing a relative to live permanently in the United States, you must accept legal responsibility for financially supporting this family member. You accept this responsibility and become your relative's sponsor by completing and signing a document called an affidavit of support. This legally enforceable responsibility lasts until your relative becomes a U.S. citizen or can be credited with 40 quarters of work (usually 10 years.)

What are My Responsibilities as a Sponsor?
When you sign the Affidavit of Support, you accept legal responsibility for financially supporting the sponsored immigrant(s) until they become U.S. citizens or can be credited with 40 quarters of work. Any joint sponsors or household members whose income is used to meet the minimum income requirements are also legally responsible for financially supporting the sponsored immigrant. If the immigrant receives any "means-tested public benefits," you are responsible for repaying the cost of those benefits to the agency that provided them. If you do not repay the debt, the agency can sue you in court to get the money owed. When in doubt, ask the benefit provider whether the benefit is a "means-tested public benefit."

i'M SORRY TO hear what happened..but having custody what does that mean really...the child now has one parent ? i don't think so...what good would it be to have the mother of your child deported..not to u but to the child..this is not about u anymore..what u think she did maybe wrong in some ppl eyes but get past it and think about the future of ur child...
good luck to u

as someone already said, it will take her another possibly 6 years to become a resident. she cant file for her family til she becomes a citizen and it still takes along time after that to bring family here. what is it, mother and father first and then brothers and sisters even longer?

anyway...if this woman is from syria chances are if she has another man already who is also middle eastern it is easy for them to leave their children. my husband is syrian and if his ex remarried she would not be able to keep his daughter. this is their way of life. they are not like americans....arab men dont want to raise someone elses child no more then the childs father wanting another man raising his child. so i can see why she left her child. do i agree with it...no but thats they way they are raised there.

good luck, i wish u well and hope ur child brings u much happiness.

IrieCat aWWWWWWWWW is that ur daughter? shes so pretty

i have a question did her lover have a GC or a citizen? cuz if he did why did she need u for he could have married her and bought her here ? if hes illegal then what? cuz u did mention how u dont want her to bring her people by using u or getting their visa by using u..so tell me about his visa status? how come no one replied and asked this question?

guys again thanks for the input..here is a few main point, i wont go to the detail, some points i may have not been clear on..anyway
1) I have full custody of my baby, because she NEVER ONCE ASKED ABOUT THE BABY WHEN SHE LEFT (about 8 months now),she called me once (7 months ago)and said she does not want the baby, thats the last i heard of her. so that out of the way...its a matter of me having to do this alone with my family and thank God for there support..
2)im not sure about here lover status, and it turned out he used her, now he does not even want her...

now, regarding the sponser deal, im still responsible for her even after the divorce?
other than that, its a real sad story, that i hope ends up being Good for my baby;s sake who is doing great, i dont want to go thru the details, but what im the most upset about guys, is when i found out that the baby was going with my Ex to motels to see this guy, thats what killed me, anyway guys, thanks again...and i think i will stay put, i did what i can do......but if she does apply now, where the divorce is final, would the INS not know that yet?I mean i cant control what she files now ..does the INS have information that we are divorced here in CA?

thanks to all for your time!

I have full custody of my baby, because she NEVER ONCE ASKED ABOUT THE BABY WHEN SHE LEFT

Would get a piece of legal paper stating that, your ex can change her mind, your divorce attorney can handle that. Speaking from experience here, unfortunately, and also a none-disputable document on property settlement. Insisted my wife also get full custody of her daughter before bringing her here as her ex changed his mind, but he still had visiting rights with my wife's and her daughter's permission. He did threaten my wife in kind of a blackmail effort to take his daughter back, but was helpless.

Regarding your liability with the I-864, that is certainly worth pursuing, a good immigration attorney may help you with that.

Wouldn't be bit surprised if your ex wants to come back, happened to me, I am not going to repeat word for word what I told her, probably would be kicked off this board after all she put me and my kids through. Let's just leave it at, I told her, no thank you. I did get her to agree to a one time settlement for her alimony, and got completely clear of her. Paid that off, plus all those attorney bills and other of her bills, man I was so deep in debt couldn't even see straight. Then I met the woman of my dream some eight years later and fortunately for me, I was the man of her dreams.

I hope that happens to you too, it's tough times now, but it passes, and you will meet a woman that loves your daughter just as much as you do.

Bingo! America is a feminocentric fascist dictatorship, therefore all males are second-class citizens/slaves and guilty until proven innocent. Your wife can, and most likely will, come back to attack you when she gets her life sorted out. Plus there is the possibility that you will be legally or financially liable for her actions at some point. Clearly, her only reason for becoming pregnant was personal gain. You can not logically expect her to give up the most powerful weapon a female has in the American "justice" system...the child.

Your wife has, by her actions, declared herself to be your sworn enemy. Therefore she will destroy you if you give her half a chance. you should consider striking now while you have the high ground. The money you spend on a lawyer now will pale in comparison to the child support and alimony and HER legal fees you might be paying over the next 20 years.

Hi Siga...

I am sorry about what happened.

If you got divorced your wife already then there is nothing to lose, if she got the 10 yr card then be it. the only thing would matters there if nobody would support her, then it is your responsibility still because you have a child with her unless it is not yours or adopted already by her new partner and you would not worry about your support for her if she remarried again with a new man. This time her status is she can stay in the US, but she cannot claim anything a support from you unless she proves that there is a reason to get even a single penny from you.

You may start a wonderful life and be positive, learn all the lesson and take it easy, life is beautiful.

Do not wish for anything from her right now, INS or NVC will eventually know if she deserve to be a US citizen or not., it is out of your business anymore. You just did what you think is right and beware for your actions because you do not want to ruin your reputation in INS for the future plans, who knows you will fall in love again and you would be doing the same process, so i think just stay out of it and relax.

IF you love her and she loves you, then forgive her and start a new life again together.

We are just human being, not a perfect, can do mistakes, but one good thing from us is we ask forgiveness and we forgive.
That what makes us more stronger and happy. Learn from our mistakes and overcome failure.

Goodluck..

_mercy

What's to say she won't wander again? Comes home with a warm place to stay after she blew the $210,000.00 in property settlement costs and another 40K in attorney and court cost, ha, welcome back? No thanks.

Marriage was to have an element of trust and this no fault divorce law sure sucks, if you are the spouse that is working hard to protect and support your family while the other one is blowing everything away, and there is only one can of beans left, that spouse is entitled to half that can of beans. One of the dumbest laws I ever heard of. And as a spouse are liable for any bills, ex blows her money, runs up another $15,600.00 bill that occurred before the divorce, but since she blew her money, I got hit with that as well when I thought it was all over. Welcome back?

Another real stupid law, can't get a marriage annulled if it was consummated when the intention of a spouse can be proven never to live up to the vows they made to form that contract in the first place/ But a mother that abandons her very own baby to go out and play around, that has got to be the lowest and how can you even trust a person that does that? Get cleared and move on.

In most states, the custody and visitation and child support can be changed by the court anytime in the future. Conditions of either parent or her attitude can change and become a factor in changes to custody and visitation. If she blew her funds, it will be more difficult for her to afford an attorney to challenge it.
Abandonment in the early days can produce remorse later and you will have to be prepared to fight it. The courts favor the mother most of the time, even if she is not worthy.
By the way, I have full custody of my kids with visitation only what I agree to. She has abided by everything for 9 years, and I so I dont worry about it much now.

How do you do? LOL. Always nice to meet another guy that got full physical custody of their children and hell being a male in a courtroom. But I never stopped my kids from seeing their mom, even encouraged it, in this world, you only get one mom. Ha, just said you are related to her, I am not. But with the severe hardship they caused them, they didn't want anything to do with her. Step daughter was the same way with her dad, but now since she turned over 18 is talking to him again. I was shocked to hear that, because when he did call, and I asked her if she wanted to talk to him, would cry and run out of the house. On the other hand, my wife doesn't want anything to do with him, but the guy is still a wife beating alcoholic loser that doesn't have a penny to his name. Was a bit tense until all my kids reached 18, now it's history, but am hearing a lot or remorse in both our ex's.

I sure didn't want a situation where the ex's are coming over every five minutes like some of my friends that remarried with ex's nearby, commented their homes, a place of peace and privacy are more like the Union Station that caused even more problems that led to a second divorce. Another problem is that you get kids that distrust their parents. Had that problem with my step daughter, wasn't use to having a dad that would take care of her. Helped her with her English and homework constantly and other school problems, kind of isolated being a foreigner in a strange country, and classmates are the meanest people in the world. She got into a couple of jams and got her out of that, but thank God, she finally turned 18 in a society where 15 year old girls are having babies already. Enrolled her in a university yesterday, could have save a couple of bucks as we live only six blocks away from one, but she wants to go at it alone. Her mom doesn't understand that, but had to remind her how we were when we were 18, time to cut the apron strings. But until your kid/s turn 18, life can be a mess, make sure you have the law on your side.

You are trying to seek personal retribution using the resources of the USCIS. You want to punish your wife for using you and leaving you by taking away her green card. I can understand being upset, but using the USCIS as your instrument of revenge is not acceptable. If she already has her 10 year green card, then there is nothing you can do anyway.

So using that logic, we can assume that if some random person on the street steals your wallet, calling the police is "useless retribution"?

The matter at stake here is protection. To protect himself, his child, other men she might to try marry then extort money from, and the US taxpayer thats going to foot her welfare and medical bills.

Not taking action would be completely irresponsible. Females in America initiate 70%+ of all divorces and females are awarded child custody in 90%+ of disputes. The reason men in America are having their guts ripped out is because men wont stand up and do whats right to stop out of control females.

How much MORE abuse is this guy expected to take?

I'll weigh in again. first of all if she has a 10 yr green card there is nothing you can do to have her deported. Trying to keep her from being a US citizen is just plain revenge and not in your best interests. The I-864 is legally binding regardless of whether or not you are divorced even if she remarries. There are only 3 ways out of it. 1 she works for 40 quarters (10 years) 2 she abandons her resident status and returns to her country of origin and 3 she becomes a US citizen. If she is no longer married to you she must wait until she has been a legal permanent resident for five years to apply for citizenship. The requirement is only three years if she is married to the same US citizen for that whole three years.

Get on with your life and be glad you're shed of her. Karma will come back around for her all by itself without your help.

Siga,

I am very sorry for what has happened. And it sounds like you are getting a lot of good advice. I wish you luck, whatever path you choose to take. The thing that concerns me is your mental state. Don't get me wrong...I am not in any way doubting your sanity. What I mean is, what you are going through can wreak havoc on your well being, your soul. I would suggest you seek counseling. You have a young child in your life that needs you to be able to focus on them (I'm not saying you aren't). Loss of a spouse ( whether through death or divorce) is a horrible thing, but it happens. It's how we deal with it that makes the difference. What's done is done. Let it be and move forward. And please, don't think I am preaching. I just think that as humans sometimes we can get side-tracked to what's really important to us.

Good luck you and your child.