Im so sorry Tasha My condolences -sp?-

T and a:


-Tammy

So sorry about your grandma.

Sorry to hear about you loss Tasha

Ok, so yesterday my boss called me in his office for a closed door meeting. I cried.

Today, the HR lady called me in her office for a closed door meeting. I cried again. They waited 6 months for me to pull a commission check,,,,and are now going to deduct money from me for a mistake I made 3 months ago :| I can handle being reprimanded for my mistakes, I kinda blew off him mentioning my 'weight' yesterday, but when they mess with my money, I have questions if I am in the right place.

My choices are .....use my day off tommorrow to look for another job. Or sit here and be miserable. I have 14 years experience and MANY companies would be happy to hire me. I have 2 weeks paid vacation and was going to visit Ibrahim in October. If I change jobs, I can't do that. grrrrr

I hate these big girl decisions. I'm confused enough coming off the Lexapro.

Well I hope you are all having a good day.

Jackie

Amal, I might have to find a flooring company in Houston or Missouri and rent your house.

(((HUGS))) Jackie

Tasha, Allow me to offer my condolences to you and your family. I am sorry to hear about your loss.

Jackie that job has been giving you a loooota crap you do not deserve. I just want you to be happy where you work, its the place we spend most of our lives, and having constant problems at our 2nd home...you don't have to tolerate it. See if you can get a better job and you can make that decision after you make a pros and cons list of the two.If this goes on, it will take an even bigger toll on your mental health, look for jobs without finalizing anything. If you get a good one, you can come up with some "emergency" to take those 2 weeks off.

I'm sorry to hear about your loss

OK, the Zohan was OK. I really like Adam Sandler too but that's all I can say for this one. There was too much sex in it for me. The kids asked if they can watch it and I told them I'd have to watch it first to see what it has in it..... the answer is a huge NO.
I don't know if there was supposed to be a message or not but what I got was the Palestinians and Israelis would get along fine if greedy Americans weren't pitting them against one another

OMG! Exactly. So here's the thing. You know you love them and all kind of (I don't know them that well but they are family now, so you have to respect them), but I am just really socially ill-equipped to deal with more than 2 people at a time for an extended period. I, as I mentioned, am an only child and so is my father... my mom is one of 3 but there are only 5 cousins of mine and we all lived on opposite coasts or at least a couple states away. So I never had to see family mroe than once a year and i never saw (or dealt with) more than 2 other people than myself.

I need quick socialization help! Do you think they will entertain each other? or do i need to do something? I need to figure out where they will all sit and what they will eat and eat of of-- I literally have my sets for 2-4 more or less. I think I should be the odd one out for entertainment purposes.

And I HAVE to lose weight. Did I tell you about how I went over there and they all sat around and quite casually discussed whether I was thinner (yes) or fatter (no) than when we first met? I was so appalled! It was like 30 minutes or an hour of this conversation, and about 30 of them were involved. I will NOT have this conversation again!!

So I'm both excited and I a 100% happy for him, as I know he is depressed and homesick... and this willl help... but I am also scared! Ahhhh!!!!

Any tips for entertaining family?

Oh! And he says his sister, if she comes, cannot sleep in a room with her brothers or alone, so she will have to sleep in our bed and we have to sleep on the floor for like 2+ weeks. I said we could get an airmattress for ourselves and he said he doesn't want to.



Awesome!


Yeah, we are having the clash. he says they will like them, just not in the house. Of course my cultural clash is that it's MY house and that's that! Instead of they are guests, do everytyhing for them thing. Sigh.

easier to send him back to visit

Sorry for your loss. I felt the same way when my grandmother died.


Noooooo... way more expensive. There are the gifts. Will be like 5k to send him home. Strill have the gifts now, but at least we don't have to buy a plane ticket.


Just start looking. if you get a better job, great. if not, stay put. Just because you look, it isn't a sure-quit. Also, see if you can build in your vacation time into new job if you get one. Sometimes, they will give you the time off anyway.

Julianna..just sigh. I think they will have to get over the fact about the cats. This is America and our customs are different. Since they are the guest, they should respect this.

more or less was kidding, i will be the same way if ahmeds family ever gets to come here he says for a month maybe. (of course i have to get him here first) i wouldnt know what to cook, what to do with them at all. Im pretty sure the parents wouldnt even like it here, its just so different, weather, food, house just living in general neverthe less a month of it

Yeah, except that's opposite their culture.. they are the guest and you're supposed to kind of cater to them. Think Lot.

Are you able to keep the cats confined to a certain area of the house that they can avoid?

Think Lot's wife.

Well, at some point, after a few days at least. I should get out of it somewhat as I'll have to return to work. I think he may be considering taking the whole time off (good) so I think that means he can entertain them, right? I also think he is thinking about only taking 2 weeks off work, so that means they go back after 2 weeks or so. Otherwise, it's going to be really akward for me to sit there with them and stare. I can talk to Ahmed, but the other two? not really.


That had nothing to do with anything but her disobedience. It repeats many times that those who are unkind or not good in hospitality are against G-d, and uses Laban as an example of bad, and Lot, Abraham, etc as good.

Ummmmm with a glass full of laxative-laden tea!

this is true as a guest they are to have the best of the foods, the best of whats avail ,

See, that's what i wish i could do, but not really. I wouldn't mind mothing things around.. .except... we only have an 1100 sq foot house. I'd hate to confine them to a 10x9 bedroom for a week. I think I wouldn't have a bedroom left, actually. I thought about trying to confine them for meals though. My cats can be stinkers for company. They normally do not bother us, but when people come over they think they will get somehting. tells me that guests in the past have been feeding them!

well that's mean to sit and discuss her weight!

Well, I am pretty sure that would go over well It's normal (that conversation), I've seen them do it to eachother (in Arabic).

Doesn't make it less rude. But I guess if it's your weight and you don't mind....

I wouldn't like it, but your post has still got me laughing!

Heck no I do mind! I told him later that I was almost in total tears about it and how utterly offensive that is. He was so sorry. He wasn't in on it, but really, they are pretty much like that. I had been prepared by my close friend who is Egyptian for such things, but wow, it does sting! I told him there are just certain things in our culture that are really taboo! I should remind him of this so he can tell them before they come, because I do not want to go through that again. OMG!

Remember Lot's daughters.

Well, that would be anything for the guest Because you have to protect them over your own family according to that standard.

I know....just you had mentioned Lot and my mind went a driftin' .

Yep, saved for the sake of Abraham.

Oh noes, terrible thought. I get really carsick and I am supposed to be shoved into the back seat according to importance level of the old to young... No, no this isn't happening. I think I am going to have to claim driver status. otherwise, trip back from Chicago will not take 16 hours but rather 16 days or maybe even a few months. I may have to walk back.

No you wont. Just make a sharp turn and head northeast.

oh julianna how i can relate to you. the whole fatter or thinner obsession with outward physical appearance is such a focus in my husbands family. when i go there that will be the FIRST thing that is discussed. if they thought i was fatter they would do it behind my back. but thinner, they will do it to my face. and yes the whole table will be involved the men will sit and smoke and zone out and the women will all go at it....

as far as them entertaining, for my family i just let them make themselves at home, will plan a fun day here and there. you should NOT worry about place settings. either get a plastic plate and eat off of that temporarily or just use nice chinet paper plates for a while less to clean anyway... but dont not eat or not eat on a plate!




see my MIL and SILs would be happy with that, will make them lose more weight so they can win the thin thinner thinnest contest.

Ha! his family is all older and the men are so thin... the girls are heavier but not beyond 30lbs overweight... mostly because they have had children and don't exercise and eat a lot This would be easier if his sister wasn't coming, as she will be the main critic of me I am sure... I watched them sit around and talk, literally, for hours about his brother's wife and how they found some dust on a windowsill in her house! Now, luckily, I do have him and he is a total neat freak and can get our house up to standard... but.. OMG. Dust on a windowsill. For real.

I think I need to think about lots of little dishes I can make. They will expect several kinds of food for the meal, but they each get their own plate... so it's only quasi-community eating. he thinks I know several good things to make.. and i do know some things.... but I am totally open for suggestions.

So how does it go when your inlaws visit? How do you prepare? I was just thinking I need to move the refrigerator and the stove to clean around them, but I have a gas stove and am afraid to move it because of the gas line.

I used bleach in the bathtub cos I was washing my mini blinds. Now im sick from the fumes.

Julianna, just move it out a little at a time . When you feel tension, stop.

OK. Do you think the gas line is copper/metal or plastic? I guess that will be the difference. I have a broiler pan. Maybe it would be better to try to figure out how to remove that bottom broiler drawer and clean under that.

I do that sometimes. One day I really hit everything with bleach and the smell was incredible.

Im chemically sensitive so any little odor sends me in orbit. I would say it probably is some kind of metal. Can't you just push it out and to the side and get back in there? That's what I do, but I don't know the set up of your cook stove.

The whole stove? It's boxed in by counter on either side.

i used to go nuts cleaning and then would clean and cook like nuts while they were there constantly butting heads with my MIL or being a martyr if it was just BILs and doing everything. after a few years of marriage I realized that was ridiculous now i dont do anything more than my normal day to day maintenance on the house and i let my MIL come and clean since she does it best. funny, now that i am not trying to cook and clean and she isnt butting heads with me she is much lazier and cleans less and is open to ordering takeout or going to restaurants. i will cook maybe twice for dinner when she is hear as a special thing and make something really fancy.

when it is just BILs no MIL i stopped rushing to clean dishes etc and now they do the dishes after dinner, i let my husband cook sometimes and i get takeout sometimes. i will make standard things for dinner, maybe once or twice something fancy. i realized that noone was going to give me a gold star for going crazy and a little extra effort is enough.

Mine is boxed in by a counter and the washer. I just pull it out slowly and angle it to the right, clean, then to the left, and clean. If you could, get on your counter with a flashlight and have a look back there so you can see how long your cable is.

Oh, they are a family of neat freaks. They rush around like that themselves. I know my husband sort of expects that on a daily basis! Every day is vaccuming day, vaccuming everything and every piece of furniture, and cleaning the tiles, and washing counters. Sigh.

I just figured I am giong to try to more or less get kind of a plan going and then try to stick to it to a certain extent... foods, etc. I do not like the idea of anyone touching my kitchen and I have a feeling that I am going to be swallowing a lot of territorial feelings.

I wish it were just the BILs because they wouldn't give two flips about most stuff.

I'll try that. I'll probably just vacuum behind it.

My stove is very tiny ( apartment size ) so I just lean over it with a dust mop from time to time but I don't recommend that if you have large, well, let's just say a big chest.

see thats the thing, i would get territorial about the kitchen but MIL would insist, of course... so then i just at one point gave up and let her do EVERYTHING. cook, clean, go for it! i figured i would have the house back when she leaves. now when she comes she isnt as eager to cook and clean because in reality she doesnt like to work hard and does everything for show and she realized that the "thanks mom" she would get from my husband wasnt as great as the attention i would get from my husband whilst sitting on my a$$ while she cooks and cleans.

well, hopefully because it is a sister it wont be as bad as a mother... but we'll see. She _is_ over 20 years older than us. her oldest child and i are about the same age. I just hope they want to talk a lot and catch up or whatever. Does your Dh take time off and spend their visit with them? or were you ever having to entertain them alone?

we both work. my husband would bring his father and/or brothers to work with him and my mil would stay home and cook, clean, watch lifetime or spanish soap operas and lately she knows how to walk to a few local stores and take the bus to the city. we are at the point now where they just make themselve at home. before we met and they would visit my husband woudl take them everywhere ie vegas, orlando etc. glad he got that out of his system before i met him. we took them on vacation with us once to the caribbean and we have sent them on two cruises to the caribbean. i love it because they have fun and we get a break for a week