Your prize for using PHOOEY------a pinapple badge to pin on your chest !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, everyone feels down sometimes about various things. And yes, people do feel ignored sometimes. I'm no exception to this:) Sometimes it just depends on if you have a connection with somene or some people and sometimes it is just coincidence. Just be yourself and it will all turn out ok in the end somehow, someway.

Oh yeah and speaking generally about internet chats (not just VJ in particular), many people have various chat styles. Some sit glued to the chat screen looking at every word silently while others are more outgoing. Other, such as myself, multitask. We keep the window open but we aer doing other things too. We're not ignoring anyone, it's just our nature, lol I'm a professional multitasker:) So it's nothing personal against anyone. But speaking generally abuot VJ chagt, I cannot go in too much (althogh I am in now hoping that the sandbox was still going on but it's 1:15AM EST...).....since my work censors intetrnet I cannot go on chat and since I practically live at work....well you get the drift:(

Congratulations babe!
Tammy

Yeah I know what you feel... You need to be in the click...

I have been here since last April. I posted and posted and no one replied and I just kept posting. Its a bulletin board. It takes a while to get to know people. As far as people needing to feel catered to, this in my opinion is just dumb. For God's sake, get a little bit of a personality and post what you like. I mean over 40 years old and you need affirmation in a chat room? WTF? This is just silly. There is no "clique" here. If you post long enough and contribute, people will eventually start talking to you ,etc.

I have had my share of arguments and conflicts and finally my husband is here THANK GOD. But the reality is, I think some people are just too co dependent for my taste. Buck up and post some topics and just answer posts and you will make friends. Whiney doesn't cut it unless you have a real reason for whining

Wow excuse me but i think you you are way out of it. I posted this not to whine but to let people know there are other people out there that go in the chat rooms and don't even get a hi for crap sake. i post topics and answer posts and have friends. I just was a little whacked out because when i did try to say something i wasn't answered or when i said goodbye. You don't have to be so snotty about the whole thing WTF.

WOAH wah.. I didn't see it as whining rather than expressing her frustrations. I know I've done that before as well. Ease up on her a little bit. She didn't say she didn't have friends but was frustrated at the feeling of being ignored (possibly intentionally ignored) and wanted answers. It's all good

thank you amal

As wonderful as our chat room is (and thank you Ewok, it is much better than the old chat room) there is a delay. Alot of times someone will come in and because of lag,,you may not show up immediately. Also, as you are leaving, you may type goodbye, and because of lag, the rest of the room may not see it until you are already left, thus you dont see all the goodbyes intended for you.

Amal and I greet everyone upon entering and usally say bye unless we are up going pee. Then we watch the door for each other. I just don't know what else we can do to make someone welcome (velkom if its amal watching the door).

Man, some days I could only WISH i was ignored

Jackie

any time girl...

alright..u are officially ignored for the rest of today... wish granted....



noooooooooooooooo I CAN'T DO IT... wish taken back!

Yeah That is all too true about ppl saying goodbye after a person signs out. I know that I've said goodbye to many-a-person and as soon as I hit enter, chat says they've left the room..its like..CRAPOLA they missed it... The delay is a pain in the butt..especially in trivia contests (which lulu is the high and mighty winner of). I know that I've had to ask the same questions multiple times until they see it OR they get tired of me asking the same question LOL (i do have a tendancy to be annoying lol!!!!!)

Ok

Well I think its just silly. Its not even a voice chat. Its a rolling java chat. Now we have to be concerned with VJ chat etiquette. Oh put your big girl panties on and lighten up. I couldnt imagine getting miffed because everyone didnt stop their conversation and acknowledge me me me me. Gees.

No one around here has EVER intentionally ignored ANYONE. It just comes off as high maintanance and whiney, whatever her intentions were. It just seems silly that someone 40 plus would be upset if someone didnt say hi in chat.

And then to come on here and threaten to leave. Pout ,pout ,pout. It just seems very childish. Your environment is what you make it and people are what you make it and there were a lot less "whiney" ways to get the boards attention

This must be just a personality thing. I've already expressed how I felt about it, and I was really shocked to see so many people come out and say they've felt the same way (or at least verbalize that they have felt the same way). I really did not know this was a sort of issue that adults deal with.

Its not. Its an issue whiney co dependent adults deal with.Like the episode of Housewives of New York City where Ramona didnt invite the other woman to her cooking party and there was a whole episode where one socialite was snubbed and the others didnt get to go. . Its just childish. If people dont say hi, hang out a little longer, contribute positively and they will eventually. What got me is her threatening to leave like a temper tantrum, not expressing sadness in not being talked to. If you want friends, you have to reach out and be a friend, not whine and pout and wait for all the mother hens to come nuture you. This is the kind of stuff kids do. Not socially adept adults.

BITE ME!!

Well, that's the way to win friends & influence people..........

Well you know what... Agression is a hell of alot more attractive than passive agression.

As someone who has been here for well over a year, I did not expect everyone around here to cater to me, thats for sure.

I certainly never ever ever threatened to leave over some kind of slight and I have a hell of a lot more problems and stress than you , I can assure you of that. Just lighten up , stick around, stop whining and you ll make tons of friends

just because I have felt ignored at times doesn't make me any less of an adult (or anyone else for that matter). Everybody has different personalities and some are more outgoing than others. There is nothing wrong if someone gets their feelings hurt. It also depends on the mood of the person at the time. If the person is really down in the dumps and has been crapolla'd on all day long and then they come to VJ to unwind and, in turn, get ignored..it just might make them feel worse. If they had a super fantastic day and come in to VJ to unwind and get ignored, it might have no effect whatsoever on them. Not that we need to think of that every time someone makes a comment...BUT don't belittle someone for showing a little of their sensitive side.

I know that my own mother gets really annoyed if I'm talking to her online and I don't reply quick enough. She's one of the strongest and best ppl I know but it really bothers her if she thinks she is being ignored when we talk online. Does that mean she is immature? I don't think so..it just means she really hates being ignored.....

Different personalities is what makes this world such a wonderful place

You know my intention for this post was not for attention or anything of that nature, and i am shocked by the number of responses it got. My intention was just to get my feelings out and to let others know that they are not alone. And by the number of people who have posted on here, it shows that i'm not alone in feeling this way. It has nothing to do with being bitchy, whiny, or high matience as someone said. It just is a matter of feelings. And belittling someone sure doesn't get you any further and show that you are a better person. I have several friends on VJ and have found out so over the last few days, I just guess i wasn't feeling it like i should have. And i thank the lord for those I have. No i really don't have a lot of friends in my home town, i never did, even when growing up. I was always the new kid on the block and was always picked on, called names, beat up, and everything else. And sometimes i felt like it has come into my adulthood. I am 48 years old and am sick of the name calling and everything else. So think twice before you start calling people names, and get to know the person first before u make ASSUMPTIONS. And you will be fine.

You mean like calling people names like B!tch if they happen not to agree with you or the belittling someone by saying bite me?

Geez I actually agree with Jen, Noura and Wahrania but have been scared to say so for fear you call me a b!tch or just totally lash out at me.

Face it this thread was to gain sympathy because you were having a bad day. You didn't word it right so the people who responded to the original wording in a manner that was not acceptable to you were told off. Not cool imho. Maybe you should close the thread if you don't like the responses. It *is* a public board and you *did* threaten to leave putting yourself up for criticism.

WHATEVER OK, I WAS NOT HAVING A BAD DAY, I VEIWED MY OPINION, AND HAVE THAT RIGHT. THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO AGREE AND SOME WHO DON'T, DOESN'T MEAN I HAVE TO AGREE WITH THOSE PEOPLE. IT WASN'T FOR SYMPATHY OR ANYTHING ELSE. IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, DON'T READ THE THREAD, IT WILL STAY OPEN AS LONG AS THE MODERATORS KEEP IT OPEN.

Here's the deal Terrie.


The nice things about social skills is that they are exactly what they are called . SKILLS


If you were the one that got beat up as a child, you can change things.... It doesnt have to stay that way. And you dont have to be victimised. You ARE coming off as high maintanance and whiney but that doesnt mean you cant be lovable or likeable. Its just the way we come off. I have my own f(*())) up issues trust me. I just dont blame it on the people here. I work in sales and I have kind of had to come to terms that I sometimes say inappropriate stuff, come off bad etc.

What you can do through this board actually is work through some of these insecurity issues with friends and not having or having them and use this place as a sounding board. No one will care


What helped me honestly Terrie, was getting really intense hobbies and personal interests. I write books and produce small movies for fun. I collect things. I read alot. It helps reduce your dependence or how you see yourself on outside people. You need to have your own compass and not worry too much about what people do and think( easier said than done) I never was really happy until I stopped doing that which you are STILL doing.

You need to realise when you wander into a new community, you need to feel out the culture of that community, whether it be online or offline or real world or not. I am going to admit that I fight as much as the next person or much more but the reality is that you have touched on some social skills that you really need to build and work on.

I dont think that THERAPY would be a really bad idea. If you can get over the pain that haunts you , which I am sure is very real, then you wont project it onto others ( yes I am guilt of that as well....)

Good luck no matter what and just dont get your panties in a wad over ridiculous ####, work on your faults and the things that mess you up ( insecurity, bad past) and I promise you , things will look a hell of alot different... In chat, on the boards and in life

Buck up and put your big girl panties on.. You ll be fine

Hmmmmm, how about we move this to Off-Topic?

I think that's a wonderful idea since chat is for all of VJ and maybe others can have a different perspective.

nvmd

I don't see why she keeps being attacked. I will stand up for anybody that I feel isn't getting fair treatment no matter who they are or what their reputation. Granted, terrie, it wasn't nice to say "bite me" but given that they were doing their best to find the most hurtful and belittling things to you..I can see why you said it.

I see where some ppl might not understand the need to vent things in the way that Terrie did but is it really necessary to be so harsh towards her? She doesn't need therapy or to settle anything from her childhood just because she was feeling left out. She just stated how she was feeling and some of us took it as meaning 1 thing and others of us took it as meaning another thing.

Why continue to try to hurt her? Why continue to try to hurt anyone? I'm not trying to be a beyotch or anything but I just don't see the reasoning for being so cruel towards her (or anyone for that matter)



eta... DON'T MAKE ME TIE U GIRLS INTO UR SEGREGATED CORNERS !!!

You go Terrie/Kamal!!


Couldn't have say it better myself!!

Well this has turned into a 9 page discussion, you certainly arnt ignored this time!!

ok I actually knew and felt what was trying to be voiced but some people can't let other people express their own fasturations. Too bad, it's seems expressing what people are feeling comes across as being high maintanance and whiney .... BUt yet its ok for some poeple to keep going and state their opinions as being right. Everyone needs to relax.... geeze

am out of here.... Drama

Ciao

you think that's bad, I wasn't even invited to a party...

Seriously, I thought when the OP said a VJ Party, I thought she meant some VJ meetup or something.

I agree with Jenn. Be an adult, this isn't a playground. It sounds like you are whining to a teacher because the other kids won't play with you. I understand the message you are trying to get across but like Bridget said, its the way you delivered that message that made it sound childish.

You know what ladies, i give up you are right, i did it for attention, yep, i'm just a spoiled little girl and whiny and high maintaince and everything u say i am.

It's for MENA. You are not MENA . Butinsky.

girls girls girls... calm down. There is really no need for all this bickering. She stated why she said it so, as friends, we need to respect that and believe what she says is what she meant. We all have known terrie for quite a while now and she deserves a little more respect than this.

She said that she was venting frustrations...OK...She was venting frustrations. Maybe she didn't word it in the best of ways but don't we all make the occasional "totally wrong paragraph" errors now and then? It came off in a way to some of u that she didn't intend but she has tried multiple times to explain what she meant. She can't change the original post so what do u want from her?
WAH--to ur corner
Bridget--to ur corner
Terrie--to ur corner
JP--to ur corner
Jenn--to ur corner
who ever else I'm missing--to ur corner too....

Hang in there Terrie, Amal is right, you are loved. I know how you feel, today is my down days, I am all feeling sorry for myself. I call it my pity party and I am the honored guest. I feel like a piece of #### today, but tomorrow I hope I will feel better. Hang in there you are not alone, and I bet I can whine and moan better than any one here on this forum.

Hugs GG Thanks

GG, tomorrow is another day. Press on. It's all we can do.

AMEN NAGI

chat anyone?

mmmm, ok. Terrie are playing scrabble, so gimme a minute.

especially if she says where..........

Gotta love charles....

Terrie babe don't worry I am having a pretty shitty day as well along with GG and I know that when bad feelings come the LAST thing anyone needs is someone to teach them the etiquettes of being an adult. Thats all fine and good...like Nagi said, press on...thats all we can do.

Whoever said life was fair? But we sure do know that good hearts exist.

Tammy

I dont know, but when you find that person....there's gonna be bloodshed.

*cries* nobody was in chat

I went in for a bit, but got sleepy. I left and caught a second wind, but now Im sleepy again.