Jackie you crack me up.... hit the reply button at the bottom right of the page... or where you just teasing?

All a Muslimah activity group would accomplish is tea parties:) But one time the brothers went kayaking. I wanted to go too but the one guy's wife said no she does not want to go. So the man gave me one of those "It is haram for you to come with us" looks. Instead of being a coward, I stood up to all the sisters. (What I was trying to accomplish was to get a seperate group for us girls to go). I said "These brothers are going kayaking and how about if us sisters get a group as well for a few hours the afternoon?" All the women just stood there and looked at me and some of them said no.
Consequently I went home crying, punished for being a woman.

I think people are doing more and more the western way now. I actually kept my last name though because my husband and I never discussed it. I was believing what I saw Muslims do here and people on islamway who said no dont change their last names.
Boy I sure look like a dumb girl now:) After marriage, my husband asked me why I did not take his name. He actually had a sad face:( I told him why didnt he say something, he was there when I filled out the paperwork:) But also I told him Muslims dont do that. He said no, they are going the western way more and more now. He said even his sistger who lives in the US has taken her husband's name.
So after he gets back and we get him settled, I am going to change everything and take his last name. I regret not doing so in the first place:(

I think that's more cultural than religious. The groups that I used to hang with in Revere are not like this at all. We would go out to lunch a lot, though not kayaking...not to say we wouldn't but no one ever brought that up.

There is one mosque in Quincy that is just ridiculous I have heard and doesn't allow women in. I can see those people doing these things. Again though, seems more cultural.

I've seen it argued both ways-- one that it's haraam (or makrooh) because it changes your inheritence, and the other that it's not haraam/makrooh becuase those people who do it culturally account for it-- none of us in the west are under the impression that a man and wife who share the same last name are related by blood, and we keep track of maiden names.

FYI, you can use one alias legally. So if you don't want to pay to change your name at this point (depending on your local laws you may have to pay if it wasn't done at the marriage), then you can use his last name as an alias. You can use it with family, friends, etc and just have your legal name. I changed my name the first time I was married to his but never used it other than legally and persisted in my maiden name.. and I eventually legally changed my name back to my own before my divorce. The thing is your alias is not for "nefarious" purposes, so you're ok I worked under my maiden name, I went to school under my maiden name, etc... never did bother anyone. I wasn't hiding my legal name, I just didn't like it, and I was using my maiden name hich is my birth name-- I wasn't coming up with an off-the-wall name. This time I didn't change it at all and I am still "me." I have had plenty of people try to attach his name to me and I don't mind-- but I may let them know otherwise if it's some kind of registration, etc. I don't care about cards and whatnot

Nope. I've encountered similiar things in Cincinnati as well where I first converted to Islam. As far as culture goes though, no, what I exprienced in Boston was all coming out of the Cambridge mosque which is supposedly the most elitist and open minded. Yep I've heard of teh one in Quincy. I thought they let women pray though there as I have been to that one (we were ner it so we prayed). but then again, I really was the only woman there. Well, nothing is worse than trying to pray at mosques in NYC though:))) (aside from the mosque on Atlantic ave). Now there are some real salafi types who refuse to let women pray in mosques and do not even give room to the women. One mosque in Queens tried to make me make woodoo with the men because they did not think to build a place for women. I was like.....uh no if I'm going to do haram by making woodoo what's the point of making it in the first place dumba&& lol
It is really no wonder nonmuslims think the way they do about Muslims. People need to understand that this is America and we have women's rights here. I'm ready to become like Condoleeza on people's butts right about now when I think of what all I've experienced in this "religion of peace"
But isnt it funny though? the Muslims talk the talk about how culture should not get in the way of religion. They say "Oh many people back home follow their culture but not us here". but yet, those same people do not agree with race mixing, they are nationalsit, they aer judgemental about where a person is from or what he looks like, they call women fitnah, and they want to spend all their time correcting people so they can feel superior but then they throw the person away when they deem the person useles again.
So what people say about culture and religion is an oxymoron. They say religion is stronger than culture. But when it comes to people being together, people aer more bound to their culture than anything because they want someone to cling onto. Obviously religion is differnt throughout the cultures despite their claims we read from the same Koran. People cannot see through culture to say "Oh this person is a Muslim and i will love him/her/ despite how they were raised or despite how I was raised. We are all Muslims"
People do not live that way. So when a person converts to Islam, they are mislead into thinking everything is fine and it's not.

OMG the mosque in Cambridge is definitely not the most open minded!!! It's the stricter of all of them imho!!! The one that we go to the most is in Revere and it's called the Boston Dialogue Foundation (very strange name for a mosque). It's mostly Sufi but has a LOT of Moroccans and Turkish with a mere sprinkling of Egyptians. I like them because they hold dinners and fesitivities all the time inviting Rabbis and Priests and ministers from neighboring temples and churches. Basically it tries to let the surrounding community know what we stand for so they are more at ease with us.

My husband prefers the one in Cambridge of course because it is run by an Egyptian but it's difficult for him to go to all of the time since we don't live near there.


(sorry for hijacking the thread everyone!!!)

thanks ladies... I love having his name and it just feels right to me.. since my father disowned me for converting... anway have a good one... on my break
TTFN
Masalma

I do things with Bassi all the time and I expect it will continue. He plans activities for us. Now, admittedly, I'm not big into sports. But he is and my daughter is, so sometimes I will make a picnic and go watch them playing football or something. He thinks we should be together as a family as often as possible, even if we aren't necessarily doing the same thing. Bassi once took me to the mens club to watch a football match. I was the only woman there. I was in hijab of course and we sat in the back. Maybe some of the men didn't like it, but they all said, hello sister and goodbye sister. They were very respectful. Maybe they would be cursing and screaming more if I weren't there. Who knows? Bassi was as proud as a peacock and said that the other men were jealous that they couldn't get their wives to come and sit through it. I think I agree that it's more about the culture where you live rather than religious strictness.

I hate to say that if you invited me kayaking, I'd probably say no too. You have to find women who are interested in the same things you are interested in. Stay positive and keep trying to find a group of muslimahs you have more in common with in terms of interests.

I love to kayak and white water raft come on over to Washington lets go!!!

whoohoo! I just may be there when habibi gets back, so dont say that too loud:) White water rafting is something I've never done but would love to do:)

Sweet... nothing can hold me down... lol I know some places but they're in Eastern Washington. And it's usually best in the summer cause well it's water and it's cold hehe. But of course i'll be decked out in hijab I don't let that slow me down a bit. And you know.... our habibi's might like it too but I am good with just girl time.

We should plan it insha'allah it would be a blast! And yes I've gone white water rafting.. I've also Kayaked in Alaska in Glacier bay. I am crazy but I love life!!!!!!

Cool:) Hey you are the typ of sister i'm talking about! One who loves to get out and enjoy this life while she still got it and is healthy:)

I used to live in Alaska and often went kayaking, boating, hiking, hunting and fishing. Not all Muslimas are sticks in the mud. Some of us like to live like there's no tomorrow!

but.........there's bears up there!

I just want to put this out there because of the last few posts I've read....... (excluding Charles' of course)

Not enjoying kayaking or white water rafting does not make a muslimah a stick in the mud or afraid to fully live life. It just means, she's not into those types of things.

I live my life fully, I'm just not into all those physical activities. I've been white water rafting before and I've been kayaking before. I don't find them enjoyable. I enjoy other things and participate in other things, like working with orphanage administration, book clubs, gardening, and travelling. I spend time with people who enjoy the things I enjoy and I encourage you to find muslimahs who enjoy the things you enjoy. But feeling good about yourself doesn't mean you have to put someone else down. We can both feel good about our lives and our personal interests.

I wouldn't be caught dead kayaking to be honest but then I'm a lazy butt. On the other hand, I would be totally up for a night of out to dinner and a movie! That's more my style....food and sitting.

lol... yes and biiiiig bears. The joke when I lived there was to tell tourist to wear bells on their back packs when hiking, saying it notifies the bears that you're coming and don't scare them when you walk up on them unintentionally.... the people that lived there used to say it was actually a dinner bear for the bells. hehe, like they can't hear me truckin through the woods tripping over things talking as if I am the only one out there???? yeah.. I am loud hamdolah hehe

Take care all got this new Athen on my computer.... love it freaks me out still at 3 in the mornin' but i am getting used to it.

going to work now ~~Rajaa

Ooooooo, tell me how far is your computer from your bed? I was thinking of getting one, but my computer is down stairs and my bedroom is upstairs. Would it wake you up or do you still set the alarm? Do you like it?

Mine is in the front room and I am in my bedroom but hamdolah I have speakers that make it work very well. I hear it but i've gotten used to the times to so I think I just sleep lighter than I don't know.... and yes I love it... reminds me of Morocco when I was there we stayed at his families house and had three masjiids around us and they would all go off at different times.... it just feels good to hear it hard to explain.

do you need a link? it's free??

Cool. Yeah, send me a link. Thanks.

My future father in law called prayer in Ghana. I miss hearing him calling. If I knew how to program, I'd tape him and set it up myself.

cool when I get home I'll send it on this site... so everyone if interested can go there.. I am not home for another 5 hours insha'allah thoughh... sorry

The battery operated clocks work great too, and you can move them around, computer doesn't have to be on, and you can take them on vacation with you, and program for whatever city you are in.

I've considered buying one of those but all the ones I've found are sooooooooo expensive

yeah and the ones I did find have a "mechanical" sound to them... ok here is the site www.islamicfinder.org It has a free download and you can set it for whatever country you like the sound of??? Egypt, Mekka so forth so on... enjoy insha'allah

Got to ask a question... and please be honest. I have a chance at a very good job interview with a chance to earn good money. We all know how much it is to get our hubbys here. BUT... I wear the hijab for Allah for Islam and myself. Now I am faced with a choice which I feel is chance at a good job but interview not in Hijab (cant even believe I said that) or interview with it and not get the job?

I have a job now but it pays only have as much as I used to get (prior to converting once I converted they basically pushed me out) the new job I have has great benefits and can transfer almost anywhere in the world and they want to promote me in two month in hijab.

The other one is more into "looks" but pays really well.....

uuuuuggghhhhhh this is a test isn't it???

~~Rajaa~~

I was and have been faced with this too. In the beginning I was told by others that if Allah wants you to get the job, you will get it with or without hijab. I believe that Allah does not want to make things hard for us. he knows what our intentions are and he knows that we are in a nonMuslim country and especially now, people do have a tendancy to look down on us if we wear hijab. But others will tell me, no, you are only saying that because it is an excuse because you are selling out your deen:/ (haha the person who told me that was not even working though:))))
Well, this is what I believe. You do what you can when you can. If you believe you have a shot at the job, dont wear it if it makes you feel uncomfortable. And if you want to wear it, wear it.
Above all, have you discussed the matter with your husband? Personally, I would discuss the issue with him befoer making a final decision. A matter of a woman wearing a hijab should be between husband and wife first and something you both can gree on.

Yes I did and he is always very supportive of me and my decision.. ultimately it is between me and Allah. But he is protective and so very far so I know what his choice would be. We both agreed we would sleep on it and reconsider it when it was time for my interview. I agree Allah doesn't make things hard on purpose all things are for a reason. I am in a company that loves and values diversity but just doens't pay... in the end I know it's more than money that counts but tell that to my car loan company....

But you are correct... Me and Allah and my husband... I haven't left the house without it on since I started and I fear I'll feel... ummmm naked, for lack of better terms. I'll sleep on it but I know where my heart is. Thanks again.

Thanks!

I will preface my honest opinion with the fact that I only wear head covering when I'm in Ghana out of respect for my elders. That said, if I committed to wear hijab to honor Allah, I would not remove it for an interview. Be proud of just who you are and the decisions you have made. God will handle the rest.

Alihamdolah... that about says it doesn't it?

Now that I have been wearing it for almost a year I could never take it off. If that place of employment is so shallow as to not hire someone with religious values then I would consider the whole company haram and not work for it, but that's just me. In the end, you know who you have to answer to.

Definitely don't go overboard either. I don't assume that every job that I didn't get is because I'm black. There are people who think that way. Don't assume that everyone is making judgments based on that. Especially if you are in the "for profit" industries. If you can help their bottom line, they might not care if you come in naked! (but I don't recommend it.)

zainab, you are a very smart woman, and i always enjoy reading your insight on things.

Rajaa- Allah provides not us!! we do whats necessary but at the end of the day Allah allows u to get paid with his blessings. In my opinion dont take it off and trust me Allah will bless ur money ....yes it is a test and if u pass it insha Allah Allah rewards his servants

Sorry, but being put down didn't come from me. I'm not responsible for the interpretations by others of what I say. If I want to put someone down, I will be direct, and it won't be subjective, I assure you.

my ears are still burning from months ago

Did I cause your ears to burn, Chuck? I don't remember that. I'm your biggest fan (well, next to Nessa )

yeah likewise. And what I said has nothing to do with any given individual person and in no way was meant to be offensive. I'm sorry if someone took it that way.

How is everyone going these days??? just a "buddy" check.

We had a beautiful day in Seattle.. I worked but it was nice to look out of a window and enjoy...Happy friday brothers and sisters

alhumdoolillah:)

Alrighty ladies and gentlemen... I've been out for a while (working like a crazy person) but I am back... and I see no talk so I have a question now that summer is upon us.. well somedays (remember I live in Seattle)...

For those in layers..... how do you stay cool???

i try to use 100 percent cotton.....if it has any polyester in it then it can not allow ur skin to breath......i learned in pakistan heat that the cotton is the most breathable..........

Let me first tell you how hard it is to find 100% cotten hijabs...another question... I know we are only to show our hands and face but I see many muslimah in sandles????

yeah im one of them im the flip flop queen i think i own just about every color old navy has.........we make a lot of our stuff cuz as i have said before cant find anything around us and also other things are sent to us from egypt and india so we are able to get the cotton thanks of Allah

Sisters, cotton kills.

if you want to regulate your body temperature use lightweight wool fibers. Merino wool (like the kind used by smartwool) is GREAT at keeping your body temperature where it wants to be, i.e. cool when it's hot, and hot when it's cold.

I know it sounds counterintuitive, but wearing something like this:


will actually be cooler and more comfortable than wearing this:



hope this helps.

That depends on your mahdab as to if it's awrah or not, and then from there if feet are permissable to be seen or not. hanafi think they are awrah but can be seen as a general rule. That's what I picked up in looking.

thanks it's a tough on.. cause my habibi's family wears sandles and anyway I can let fresh air on my bod is a treat? Time for me to get ready now... the other thread got me going and I don't want to be late. lol

awrah or not, i hate having to be subjected to the site of people's feet in most public places. no matter how great a pedicure i've got, no one's seeing my feet outside of home, and i'd rather not have to see anyone else's at the library or when i'm trying to have dinner.