ooo...I dont nkow what is more scarey, a mother putting her handd on a bf's knee, smoking pot with your kids, or the evil eye.

I did not have parents who partied with me or anything, but my mother tries to make friends with everyone I know whom is a friend. Not just being friendly but I mean trying to be best friends so she can eventaully turn them against me. I dread when my husband comes here and she tries to get me to leave the room so she can talk about me. She has done that with my other family members and his is why no one in my family really speaks to me except wehn I make the effort go to there and even then, they maybe speak to me for an hour and then leave. This is why I never go there:)

But I have seen parents (a mother) who parties with her 19 year old daughter. She got up and danced at a party with her kids. I don't know what is more scarey-the fact that the mother did that or the fact that the daughter and her kids thought it was the coolest thing to see a mother party like a 19 year old.....scarey stuff.

Ok now I know what the evil eye is. I have been wondering ever since I became Muslim because I saw it a lot on islamway.com but I never understood it. Maybe I had to become victim to an evil eye to fully understand? Yep my neighbors became irate when I decided to marry my husband for love and not their relative for green card marriage.....so they had evil eye really bad. It led to me leaving the friendship with them and I was very hurt over this cuz I thought they were nice, but I found out they had been stabbing me in the back all this time. It caused problems between me and my husband, but in the end, the ordeal brought us a lot closer together too....and alhumdoolillah we were able to overcome it. So maybe Allah cannot control the evil eye but he can help people overcome it? I don't know. I never have luck in Allah helping me prevent people from hurting me...but he can help me overcome maybe.

I totally agree with u




Palilover Allah can do anything! read April and Mohammeds post masha Allah she says right n brief

Mashallah Mashallah mashallah... good job April. And yes I do say it for fear that other's think i am inflicting the Evil Eye... I was told that as one of my "intro to the middle East" classes the sisters gave me.lol As well as Insha'allah and Hamdolah... can't go wrong with those.

**bump**

Ok... here's something for any hijab wearers... have you noticed people are obsessed with talking about your hair??? I started a new job and all they can do is say things.. ask questions I know they're curious but is it just me... geeez it's just hair for goodness sake!

I think becoz its the frst thing ppl will notice n talk about lol to most women it is the most important thing... they dont know that even hijabies care about their hair too; esp. when u re married u have to look nice for ur hubby ;D

I have a thousand and one stories

My sister tells everyone her hair is green with purple polka dots

lol well for spanish it means that if someone looks at a person in admiration such as their hair of face or something that person can get sick if they do not touch what ever it is that they envy........if the person has very strong eye the person can even die............so for most spanish u will see them go up to a small cute child they dont even know and touch their face or their hair i have heard stories of one lady she was sitting at her friends home and was looking at a clear glass water pitcher the sweat on the outside of it intrigued her she didnt touch it so it broke lol for us it is mostly old wifes tails .......but its not so funny when u get fever for no reason and wake up to ur grandmother saying a prayer and passing an uncooked egg still in the shell over ur head and body lol.......u see the evil that made u ill is suppose to go to the egg then it is cracked and put in a half a cup of cold water if two eyes appear on the broken uncooked egg then u were very sick if just one and is looking like it is slightly cooked ur lucky lol........i never argue with her about it but never let her know im not feeling well either lol

I've wondered if your hair would end up in even better shape -- no UV rays and air pollutants soaking in all day long. Sorry if this exactly the kind of silly question you're tired of, but has anyone noticed their hair becoming healthier after you started wearing hijab?

lol one lady asked me if i wear it cuz its more easy to just put it on and go and not worry about styling my hair.......

Mona-jamie- ask anything u want lol dont worry about it.... well it is protected like u said the only thing that has affected mine is lack of oxygen.. so i make sure it gets enuff air when im not out (:

estadia- unfortunately lots of gurls here in egypt who r muslims but not religious wear it becoz they cant afford a nice hair at the salon sad!

No one has ever asked me about my hair. There is one dude at my workplace that I try to avoid because everytime I see him he asks me why I wear it. Then he goes on about the bible and stuff but I am usually in the elevator with him when he does this and then I get to escape.


My hair is in worse shape now then when I didn't wear hijab. When I take it off it's all knotted unless I had it in a ponytail but if I put it in a ponytail hair falls out due to my autoimmune disease. I have kind of a bald spot growing in the back of my head. My husband always wants to put this conditioner he used to sell in my hair but I'm always too busy. Maybe I'll let him do that to me this weekend. He did it once in Cairo and it was kind of nice having my husband do my hair.

I was actually intrigued by hijab when I first became a Muslim because of the fact that you did not have to spend gobs of time styling your hair. that was not really for "those" reasons, but I began to think that yes guys do notice that and that attracks attention to women which Islam says not to do. I began to think about one time male bosses picked apart my hair if it was wind blown (dont have a car so walk to work) before I even walk into my office (this only happened one time but he said it in front of everyone to embarrass me as if I was a pig). That was the main big example I could think of of how a guy noticed my hair. I could not think of any bigger or more examples. But that one sticks in my mind because everyone stared at me because of what he said. (and leave it to a man to judge a woman right). When I left my old place, I started to wear hijab when I moved to the east coast. This is the stuff I've gotten and it's kinda weird.
Yes, people ask me about my hair but not so often. Some people might ask me why I wear it and they are curious. One woman asked me what color my hair was. That does not bother me though. They are doing it because they are curious and they treat me no different after they know then before.
Nonmuslim men will come up to me on the street of all places and tell me how nice my scarf looks, LOL They are not being flirtatious...they just wanna say that and then go about their way. I don't know what that means. A little girl even told me this in the mall one time. Well, regarding the men, supposedly men respect you more if you cover. This is what I read about hijab and some of the scholars I've listened to say. So maybe that is why nonmuslim men took notice.
The Muslim men? Someones going to throw tomatoes at me for this one. They were the biggest jerks of all. Looking to get married in Islam, the guy naturally wants a girl who wears hijab and does all this and that to be ueber erligious. I was told that I have to look for a guy who respects the hijab, does this, does that, and beards are glorified too. But those guys see a woman in hijab and say "Oh mashallah mashallah mashallah!" as if they are giving a cat call! Because you know what those Muslims say? "OO...you are religoius but your face is not beautiful"
I stopped wearing hijab after last year's proposal went bad. Why do I want to wear a scarf that makes me look ugly because it does not allow me to beautify myself, it only MAKES people ONLY see the ugly part of me which is my face? Actually the only man I've known to respect me in both hijab and not hijab is my husband. So for that and for that only I say mashallah.

I don't wear hijab for anyone but Allah. Who cares what I look like anyways? In the end I'm not going to get into heaven for having a pretty face and nice hair all the time, you know? If I bothered myself about how I look in hijab I don't think I'd last very long in it.

I'm confused ... were you proposed to by someone else last year? I'm assuming the proposal w/ your intended went well enough that you're filing for a visa....

I can't remember if you all brought up the topic of prayer yet but I have notsomuch a problem but kind of a dilemma. I don't always do my salat on time, but I do make a point of making them up at the end of each day if I have missed any. It's not that I don't want to make salat, I actually enjoy it and it's just about the only time in my day where I gain inner peace and feel relief, you know?

Anyhoo.....................................my husband is the salat king. LOL. It doesn't matter what he's doing when he hears the call the prayer (we have a software on the computer that has the call at each time) he drops what he is doing and goes and prays. Even if it's in the middle of a tv show where they're about to FINALLY say who dunnit. He does not hesitate.

Well after living with me for one month he noticed that I don't jump like him because sometimes I'm in the middle of something like I"ll have to take the kids to softball or I'm in the middle of working or whatever. I told him that although I know it's best to do it in it's time, I still have the right to make up the salat. He is of the opinion that my making it up after it's time is gone is useless since God will not accept it. I have tried to show him proof otherwise but the proof that I have is actually kind of weak.

Does anyone have fullproof proof (omg say that ten times fast...i dare ya!! ) or am I full of it and he's right?

This is what I understood in my reading...
as long as you make up ur prayer BEFORE THE NEXT PRAYER IS DUE then it is accepted. Therefore, If you try to make up ..say morning prayer..at night prayer, then it is not accepted. (sorry i'm so tired i can't remember the name of htem...other than fajr) anyway..thats how hubby and I do it coz we both translated it that way.
The only time they're accepted otherwise is if you have been traveling more than 100 miles (i'm fairly sure its 100 but please dbl check coz i'm probably wrong) and have not had the opportunity to pray or make woodoo.

hope this helps
amal

I would like to ask anybody here who converted from Christianity to Islam some things. Did you convert prior to meeting your SO? I know this may not make sense to some but did you suffer walking that line of decision? Do you have any suggested sites for somebody going through this to read besides talking to their SO? There is no pressure in my situation just dealing with my own issues. I would appreciate any suggestions.......

My recommendation is.. read the qura'an. It IS Islam and has everything u need. If you're considering converting..what better place than reading qura'an. I may even have an extra if u need one.
I'm fairly sure one of the good sites is islamicity.com if that helps any

I got in trouble for doing salat at work - they said I was being ostentasious about my religion and it bothered alot of the employees - so I don't do it anymore. I have considered going into the back stairwell to pray, but it hasn't worked out so well since it's fairly dirty and dusty. I guess I just don't have the energy to fight it anymore

My husband trys to do his on time as well, but works a dirty, manual labor job and can't always pray ontime either. He understands.

Admitting this has made me think that I need to try harder to find a place to pray I used to be the type that would pull off the side of the road if I needed to pray, but have somehow lost that along with all my hobbies and free time

and i'll also be happy to help with any questions that I am able to answer. Let me know if there is anythign I can do for u

Here's a nice place to start:

http://www.iprofess.com/english.htm


I met my husband while trying to convert him to Christianity. Obviously that didn't work out too well hahahaha. Anyways in order to make my point clearly I had to learn more about Islam so I bought the Islam for Dummies book. That was what opened up the door for me and after that I joined a few online forums like islamicboard.com and islamway for sisters. One person from a different board donated to me a bunch of books and the one that finally made me convinced was a book about the four gospels. I have to admit although I was Catholic and thought I knew my stuff I totally took the bible for granted and never questioned one iota of it. I don't want to get into it here but if you want the name of the book I can go look for it when I get home and tell you the name of it.

From there I contacted a local group that holds classes at Harvard and the woman who organized the groups invited me to lunch. The morning after that I said my shahada and the rest, as they say, is history. I made many mistakes along the way, one of which was asking questions on this forum about the religion. I learned to ask those questions in more relative forums and to people at the mosque that I trust.

I have to say not once did my husband ask me to convert and as a matter of fact even after I did he wasn't too too excited because he was afraid that I only did it for him.

Thanks for the help! I know reading the Quran would be the best way to learn I just didn't have a Quran in English and I am by no means literate in Arabic enough to read from my husbands. Thanks Amal for your support!

Bridget, if you don't mind would you look for me and pm me when you find the name of the book?

Thanks again everybody! My husband has a world of knowledge if I ask him the right questions. It's just sometimes you wonder what to expect when you are in your valley of decision.

we should yahoo 2nite
bridget, will u pm me the name of that book as well?

Well bridget; Amal is right as long as u make it before the salat after it is accepted insha Allah BUT there's a hadith that says the most of ibadat that Allah (SWT( loves is praying on time so do ur best sis...

Also im so sorry but ur husband is right.... the acceptance of making it up is only for reasons that OUT OF UR HANDS.... like falling asleep or being on a plane in the air...i ask Allah to accept from u n me n all muslims ameeen.

Also Bridget most scholars agreed that until half an hour after the adhan is still concidered on time insha Allah.

Thanks but I was looking for actual proof, like a hadith along with it's source.


Amal and Tasha, the name of the book is Beyond Mere Christianity by Brandon Toropov. In it he states the following:

"The Gospel of Mark, most scholars believe, is the oldest existant Gospel. Intriguingly, Matthew and Luke depend on Mark for much, but not all, of their material. (The Gospel of John does not depend on any other Gospel in a textual sense; it is independent in a way that the other three Gospels are not. It is also compiled later. )

When we remove the influence of Mark and look at what Matthew and Luke still have in common, we find dozens of obviously parallel verses in Matthew and Luke - verses that often give us nearly verbatim expressions of the same saying.

Many scholars feel these parallel verses constitute clear evidence of a sayings gospel that supplies Matthew and Luke with a substantial amount of their content. These parallel verses, known as the Q verses, appear to reflect a lost manuscript that is almost certainly older than even Mark's Gospel."

The book is excellent, in my *humble* opinion and shows many many things that I never saw when reading the Gospel. I highly recommend it to anyone who is comparing the two religions.

I guess you can download that book here

me too please

you can download it here: http://www.islambasics.com/view.php?authID=111

Umar ibn al-Khattab (RAA) reported that a man asked the Prophet (SAW): "Messenger of Allah, what action is dearest to Allah Most High?" The Prophet (SAW) replied: "Prayer at its proper time. The one who does not pray has no religion. Prayer is the main pillar of the religion (of Islam)." (Baihaqi)

Thanks Brig!! I am curious to read it and see what it says. Even though I am a convert to Islam, I still like to read up on both. Well..and I read up on others as well...

LOL Ok, I'm used to getting grown folks walking up to me all the time asking "are you not hot in that"... one night in October a girl asked me that at the gas station and I was like..... hmmmm it's like 40 degrees outside! LOL Some friends of mine will actually tell ppl who ask them that "Hell is hotter!!!" LOL but I have always thought that sounds harsh to non muslims and doesn't make for very nice dawah so I usually explain to the "grown ups" that it's really not as hot as it may seem to them because I have shade everywhere I go and the sun isn't roasting my skin
Anyhoo.... on to my hair... yes the girls at work used to ask me all the time... what color is it? why do u color it? (ummm bcoz i gotz a hubby to look good for???) how long is it? Oh I bet it's so long! and in the event they catch me in the bathroom adjusting it "Oh so THAT'S what u look like!!!" like my hair is the ONLY part of me
The cutest thing ever though was when I was substitute teaching a first grade class and the children were trying to figure out why I wear the scarf. They're really too young to get into about religion so I would just tell them I'm cold. Well in this one class these children were just obsessed with getting me out of my hijab! They kept telling me... Ms. Layla, it's not cold anymore, you can go ahead and take that thing off! Finally, after I resisted for a while, one little girl got angry at her classmates and blurted out "Why don't ya'll hush! Don't you know she don't got no hair????!" I should have just left it at that but just as quickly as she finished I shouted "Yes I do!" LOL they spent the last part of the class peaking under it

kids r so cute!!

Hay T and A (lol i just got your name) Anyway, I'd be happy to chat with you... pm me anytime... I was a Christian my ex husband a baptist minister. My Muslimah friends always say I should write a book regarding my conversion. I was also in the Army for 11 yrs with Intel. The joke is only the smart curious ones convert (revert). I have plenty of sites and links for you to take on your own time and would be happy to answer questions.

As far as my hair.... ok so I shouldn't explain it to you cause I am thinking that it's not ok... but it's long (middle of my back) and has gotten really thick and dark since wearing the hijab... (never this long or healthy before). I noticed when I first started wearing the hijab i started losing hair along the top of my hair line and my face. it turns out i was pulling my hair back too tight to keep it up lol. Now i pull it back and braid it and double it up again. I keep my hair long cause I read that we are to have our hair to our bust line Min... and my hubby has grown to enjoy it. Mashallah

Anyway, to the point my hair would get attention (unwanted) I only want that sort of attention from my hubby. I have felt a sense of freedom since wearing it and haven't stopped since I first put it on. I even run 2 miles in Hijab soooooo that's where my heart is and it makes sense to me.

prayers.. I agree from my reading we should do Salat before the next one. Making them all up at the end of the night doens't fly. But please I'll have to look into this more. I am the one seen in the Amsterdam airport giddy cause they have a prayer room. Now when I fly and need to switch planes I prefer Amsterdam.

anyway, not sure if i've helped but love the excitment over scarfs..

Here's a question hijabbies how many do you have??? just wondering what the "norm" is. . lol me??? last count (don't tell my husband) @40

[


i only have about ten left started out with well over forty but after some years back in the states they have slowly gone down lol

Thanks everybody for your support and offerings of assistance. It's nice to come to a place and ask questions like this and not feel judged for feeling confused.

Oh yes, Rajaa....let me tell you the story behind the screen name. I originally signed on with my name and my husband's name and was messing around and changed it trying to do something more simple well I didn't think about T and A being what we know as the abbreviation. I am stuck with it for so long, I think a year. It was quite embarassing for me at first! I will pm you because I was also raised in the Baptist religion!

I think you can change your nickname in the "controls" portion but no worries... I think it's funny. I just sent a pm back. Insha'allah you'll have a wonderful day.

And yes... I like being able to talk about our lives without the worry of scrutiny.... i wish you all a good day!!

Too many to count. My parents live in Saudi and every time I see my parents my mom brings like 10 or so for me. I would put my number at about 40-50, some which have yet to see the light of day

hehehe that's cute..i just love kids!



I have a question too.. To those who went from not covering...to covering:
I would LOVE to cover coz I really and truely believe it is a great way to find more of a sense of self rather than worrying about how my outward appearance is to others. I'm really worried though and even feel semi-embarrassed to start covering since the ppl I know have already seen me uncovered. Did anyone else feel an initial sense of embarassment or a feeling of it not seeming "right" when u started covering? I'm really having problems with this and could use some tips and stories from others on it. How did you all get thru the initial transition? How long did it take to feel comfortable?

Thanks
amal

I have a question too.. To those who went from not covering...to covering:
I would LOVE to cover coz I really and truely believe it is a great way to find more of a sense of self rather than worrying about how my outward appearance is to others. I'm really worried though and even feel semi-embarrassed to start covering since the ppl I know have already seen me uncovered. Did anyone else feel an initial sense of embarassment or a feeling of it not seeming "right" when u started covering? I'm really having problems with this and could use some tips and stories from others on it. How did you all get thru the initial transition? How long did it take to feel comfortable?

Thanks
amal
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i have a friend that went thru what ur going thru so finally i asked her are u covering for Allah? she answered yes so i said to her then what do u care what others think if indeed ur covering for Allah.......after she started to cover she told me that she felt so protected and really did not understand why she was worried about it to begin with so i guess maybe u have to also answer that question not for us but for urself

thx..
it isn't just what others think of me.. honestly, when I've put it on..I not only feel embarassed but like I'm not being myself (if that makes sense). It just doesn't "feel" right and I almost feel silly. I am trying to figure out how to NOT feel that way.

OMG u ladies are making me feel like a hijab monster I feel like the Carrie (sex in the city) of the muslimaat all of a sudden! (her shoe obsession)
I have three of those plastic three-draw towers (14X12X20) filled full of hijabs and some others that are just too big or thick to fit in there. And I still buy new ones when I have the money I don't wear them all.... I should give some away

well this is all very new to u so of course it will feel odd at first it is expected really
do u have any support system in place? i mean other muslims that live around u........i think that sometimes deep inside of us if we dont have a support system in our life we feel the way ur describing it......also myself i have found that i have gone thru many different styles of the way i style my hijab........u can like go on line and look at different places that sell hijab and see the way that they style them........maybe its just u have not found the style that u feel comfortable with here is a site that i use when looking for different ways to wear them if u want u can just look around it to see what im talking about
http://www.411hijabs.com/
if there is ever anything i can do for u to help u with this plz let me know
sara

You just get used to it to tell the truth. I used to feel the same way when I started covering and now I can't imagine going out with it. It becomes a part of u and u get comfortable with it over time.

I must say that the harshest critics were my parents. They were supportive but skeptical about it all.

I started covering before I went to college and my parents had all these fears that I would be teased, people would not take me seriously, I would have a hard time fitting in, etc. Honesly, I also felt the same way, but decided that it didn't matter because what I was doing was because of my belief in my faith and not what others thought.

After a while I forgot to care about what people thought...unless I was having a bad hijab day

A friend of mine in college decided she wanted to start wearing the hijab in junior year. One day she just came to class and there she was, all covered up. As far as I know, no one said anything to here. Some people asked questions about her decision and she said she was doing it because she wanted to. End of story. People accepted that and moved on.

I really don't have much of a support system here. There are muslimas everywhere but I don't have any personal friends here *yet*. I feel that maybe if I had some close friends we hung out with a lot..maybe it would help me feel more comfortable coz I really badly want to wear it but just can't quite get there yet
Thanks both of u for ur honest answers. They are very much appreciated!
amal

My daughter is 7 and she wears hijab to school Last year she wanted to wear it so I let her but then the kids started teasing her and telling her she looked like an old lady so I made her stop. Then this year she asked again before school started and I told her no but she kept insisting and insisting so I finally gave in. She wore it the whole year mashallah and no one bothered her about it other than asking why she wears it (and asking her brother why he doesn't ) We went to the zoo a few weeks ago and it was really hot so I told her to take it off. The hijab itself doesn't make her hot but her hair is wild and tries to escape from the hijab!! It comes out from every side and gets in her eyes and it's hard to push it back when it does that so I didn't want her wearing it outside when she'd be sweating and everything. All her teachers and kids were like "OMG she's so pretty!" and going on and on about it LOL one teacher actually said "Oh we've never seen her hair before" I was like yeah right because it comes out the sides and back and half the time is falling off anyway


I'll be there soon inshallah

ur sooo sooo lucky my smaller sisters are not allowed to cover their hair at school because the school says there is a no hat policy so they can not break that rule even for them so they have gotten permission to wear a shawl to cover their other parts we live in a very small town 600 people and we are the only muslim family here.........we even had to fight the school over not giving another type of food when they are serving pork for lunch or breakfast.........also had to battle the lunch assistant over them telling the girls and my brother that bacon bits are ok to eat cuz they are not real bacon......one day my mom got a call from the school that her children were refusing to eat lunch at the middle school and the grade school and only sitting their while everyone was eating so she went to the schools to see what the problem was and told them well ur trying to feed them pizza with sausage they can not eat it and would rather go with out food than put something in their body that is forbidden..........now they offer a second selection to my smaller sisters and brother when they will be serving pork..........

i've always thought that whenever i see your screen name