Hi kababayans,

Im new here but need some advice. I came here and got married December 2007. it's May,less than 6 months married and my husband wants a divorce. I love my husband and dont want a divorce but I cant be on a marrige on my own.I

I filed my AOS and EAD on Feb 2008 and just got my EAD card. I'm working now and can barely support myself. I dont really want to return to the philippines right now because of the stigma of divorce.I dont want to be 26 and divorced so early into the marriage. Wala akong mukhang maihaharap. I dont want to go back to all my friends and family with my tail behind my back after I defended this marriage albeit wrongly. I had a good career there and if I return now, I dont have any money on my own because I send my extra cash to my family. This is another reason I dont want to go back-I have siblings I need to support. I'm well educated and have good working experience.

My question is: What are my options after divorce when my AOS is still pending, I dont have a greencard yet and my husband will definitely not support my getting a greencard. He actually wants me to leave ASAP so that I wont be able to get it because we are expecting an interview this June or July or he is afraid Ill be TNT which obviously I wont be doing. What can I do while we are going through the divorce process? I dont even know how long it will take. I was thinking of going to Canada or Middle East instead so atleast Ill still be earning more. What are the chances that if I go back to the Philippines and cancel my AOS application, I can get a US visa in the future? Im really lost, please help me.

I'd go see a immigration lawyer. If your hubby has shown any signs of mental or physical abuse you may be able to get the GC on your own.
Hopefully your AOS was transfered to CSC and you have a good chance of getting your GC without an interview.

How do I know exactly what is happening to my case or if it was moved to the CSC? Last I checked online it was transferred to National Benfits center or something.

Hi, I wanted to reply to your letter. To be clear you were sponsored on a K-1 Visa, and you are married now.
Your husband, sponsor, petitioned the US government to have you come here and he married you. He obgilated himself to support you by that sponsorship. It is a binding deal, read the Affidavit of support, any good lawyer will tell you the same thing. Marriage is legitimate and legal. The process assures the beneficiary not to become a public charge.
You are here and he wanted you here. He asked his government to have you here and he would provide for you through this process. Find a lawyer who practices divorce and or immigration law. You have all the rights now that you are here and more so you have a sponsor who filed a AOS. The government wants to know who is taking care of you before you get here and who is taking care of you if that marriage fails in the first two years. Let me know if you need help.

Its hard to say what your chances are to come back to the US. As a tourist? probably slim. There's too many variables still. But IF you do get back to Philippines, make sure you are divoced and make sure you have all the paperworks with you. So when or if you meet someone from the US in the future, you wont have a problem with your K1 or CR1 visa.

Good luck!

I'd fight at least to stay. It seems to me that you entered into this in good faith, assuming that your relationship and marriage were going to be for all time, and that you had left behind everything to be with your husband, and now he is wanting to send you back like a meal that was not cooked right? If he does divorce you, get some of his money and make sure that your divorce lawyer has him cover the fees for the immigration lawyer that oyu will need to try to fight to stay here. I am fairly incensed at anyone who would enter into this process and then toss it aside so casually after 6 months stranding someone in a place far from home and with no money. It's the sort of fast food, cable channel changer mentality that drives me nuts about most Americans. If there's a problem with something, get a new one, don;t bother trying to fix it.

Sorry just feeling a little stress and let a rant slip through. If your man doesn't want to try to fix things and just wants the quick fix of dumping you and sending you back, then i say get a good lawyer and take him to the cleaners.

think twice before saying 'I love my husband and dont want a divorce'. why does he want a divorce from you? it seems like he's taking your love for granted.

what kind of guy is your husband? did you get to learn much about his moral character during your engagement? did he respect you & demonstrate love & commitment? because how he treated you during your engagement is the best indication of whether you can trust him. from the clues in your story, it sounds like he might be the unfaithful type who doesn't value commitment, and sees others & sleeps around behind your back. if that's the case, just let him go. he doesn't deserve you, and God will punish him for his sins.

sorry, just don't want to see a fellow woman taken advantage of while she's blinded by love.

I'm sorry to hear that your marriage didn't work out. It must be hard what you're going through now esp. that you don't have any family or friends to support you here.I would suggest you try to seek a legal advice from an immigration lawyer of your chances of staying here. I hope things will be better for you in the days to come. Good luck and God bless.

to answer some questions, yes I was petitioned through K1 visa. I dont have really funds for hiring an immigration lawyer and thats why Im here seeking advice on legalities and what i can do to continue to stay here inspite of going through a divorce and not having a greencard yet. im expecting the interview sometime this July but will I be deported because Im going through a divorce or do they wait till its finalized? what do i say during the interview? Im really lost.

Here's a web page that may help you with some of your questions. If the divorce affects your AOS negitavely, you may be able to get your employer to sponsor you on an H class visa. You really need to consider suspending sending all your extra cash back and save for a divorce lawyer.

Hmmmm always remember there are 2 sides to every story.

Yes and the husbands side is porbably that he was cheating on her before she moved to US & now decided he wants the other girl.

im sorry but something is obviously wrong with him. when someone changes the mind after only a few months of marriage it has to be for some reason and it just sounds like the guy did something behind her back.

Hi nemesis20,

I feel for you. This must be totally devastating for you. But you seem to be a really strong woman to still go on with the battle. Is there really no hope for your marriage? Have you tried to consult a marriage counsellor? Gosh, sorry to sound so romantic but I really believe there still is hope for your marriage.

Well if in case you cannot save the marriage and if your husband has already filed the divorce, then I think you should also consult an immigration lawyer. Maybe you can check the Philippine Embassy in your area if there are people there who can help you out. Or maybe you can check out Gurfinkel Immigration Consultants...i don't know if you have them in your are but they help out Filipinos with immigration problems. Try also searching the internet for free consultation of immigration lawyers, maybe there is one out there who can help you for free.

Will be praying for you. God bless you girl!

Thank you all so much for the replies.I am trying to work out my marriage. It's complicated.I was not trying to point fingers at anyone nor solicit pity. My husband is not a bad guy. I just stated the facts to ask advice regarding my immigration case. If it really doesnt work out I will try to call Phil embassy or try to get working visa. But I am like other Filipinos who believe marriage is for keeps and problems can be overcome.

Regarding my case:
I logged in at USCIS and it says there that last update was Feb 25, 2008. Seems like no one is working on it. I see most people's cases filed same time as mine being touched. I tried calling but they couldn't help me. Last notice I got was from National Benefits center.

wow... you are bitter...

Nowhere in her story did I see anything that gave any hints of unfaithfulness or playing around. Maybe there is nothing wrong with him. Perhaps it is 2 people that just didn't know each other all that well, and when they finally do get together, and spend more than a few days or maybe a couple of weeks together, find out that they are not compatible. It happens.

You were VERY quick to start pointing fingers at him, and claiming cheating. Maybe it was something that happened to you, but it is not the only reason people seek divorce.

this is madness, sounds like there are a lot of bitter people here. When I found my baby I asked her right off the bat if she would agree to a prenup, she said no problem. I was raped in my first divorce, over 270K! The only reason she has my son is the monthly meal ticket, so for those of you that say to get him back in court you can go just F yourselves. America...the home of the divorce award... once that reward is gone the "try to make it work" thing comes into play instead of "Ill see you balls on a plate in court", along with your kids house cars and business.

This girl came here, gave her belongings and life away to trust someone in another country...it didnt work thats it. Through the visa process he has agreed to support her from becoming a public charge which he will. He should also just by his own dignity supply her with about 5k for flights to her home and living expense til she gets back and finds a place to live, her choice where she wants to go.

If she wants to stay she can apply representing herself for citizenship because she is already here. She wont need an attourney to do so as long as she can read and understand what and where in the process she is.

If it's your husband wanted the divorce, do you think he has some of the grounds to file divorce to you? (Example of ground in US: Adultery; Desertion; Voluntary Separation; Conviction of a Felony; Two Year Separation; Insanity; Cruelty of Treatment; and Excessively Vicious Conduct; Bigamy; Voluntary separation (requires that both parties live separate and apart); criminal incarceration; mental insanity.)

If you really love your husband then fight for it. There must be a big reason behind this that we, as readers here don't know nor have right to know. Why he wanted you to leave the country (USA) so urgent?

Be strong.

Wow, nemesis...I think you opened Pandora's box coz some people here are getting so heated up regarding your case.

May our Lord guide you in all your decisions and actions. Will include you in my prayers tonight. Take care!

Oh gosh, it was not really a question of why but what to do. My husband and i believed that we loved each other when we came into this marriage and there really is no "legal" grounds for divorce (i.e. adultery, abuse on both sides etc). We care for each other , he just thinks that getting divorced is better to move on. He doesnt like misunderstandings.

He wants me to leave ASAP because he's scared that I will disappear and he will be legally responsible for me. In short -go TNT.He's scared as many other foreign nationals are.

I just really needed advice on the legalities and what happens to me once my husband calls immigration and says we're getting a divorce. Maybe more on what I can do for myself to keep myself here.

My advice to fiancees are get to know the other person as much as you can, dont rush in. Know your rights and read up about this before going to another country or you will be left on your own grasping empty air. You are entrusting your everything to another person.

Thank you for the prayers. I appreciate them.

i'm sorry for thinking that he cheated on you. years ago i was cheated on by someone i loved with all my heart. and it left me with very deep emotional scars. since then i haven't been able to trust or love anyone again. i guess i'm still not healed.

i apologize to anyone i offended. and most of all i apologize to your husband if he's a good faithful person. i'm sorry.