Hi everybody! This is my first post and it is a messy situation, so please have patience with me!

I have had a life changing experience by meeting my soulmate! Unfortunately, it is a messy situation, but we cannot help how we feel about each other.

The details.....She is from Romania, married, with a 3 year old son. She is married to an abusive alcoholic that doesn't work. She left Romania 3 months ago and went to her sister's place in Sicily to get away from him. She got him to sign a release to leave Romania for their son to "visit" Sicily, but she plans to never return. Her goal is to get a divorce from Sicily.

(FYI, I have been to Romania and Sicily and spent considerable time with her and her wonderful family, and there is no question as to our feelings for each other!)

Here is where I can use some help or ideas! I have scoured the internet looking for answers, but this is an area that is just hard to find information about. Assuming she gets divorced.....there is serious doubt the father will ever agree to signing any custody over to her, or ever signing anything to allow the son to travel. Since she is in Italy, is it going to be impossible for me to get her and her son to the US? On Fiance Visa, marriage Visa, or even a Visitors Visa? I have found nothing in detail on this subject, so can I expect they will never let the son here without the fathers permission?

Let me be perfectly clear. I WILL go to wherever I need to spend my life with my 2 angels, so bad news is not a detrimate, just a roadblock!

Again, sorry for the mess I bring here! But short of going to an attorney, I would like to be a bit more informed of my options. Thank you all very much, and good luck to all of you too!

John

First of all she has to be divorced before you start filing any paperwork (you'll have to send in the divorce decree with application). You'll need the fathers permission to get the son to come over. I do believe, since he's abusive and an alcoholic, she may be able to work something out in perhaps the divorce... meaning taking away the fathers rights (or limiting them). I'm not certain how this works given the Romania-Italy situation, but I think this may take quite some time.

Good luck!

I am Romanian and I went through a divorce and I hope I'll help you a little bit.
Where is her son right now? With her or with his father? If she will divorce the judge will give her the son (Romanian law is protecting the mother usually) not him but the son need to live with her. After divorce you should apply for K1 and K2 visa but the son needs the father consent to fallow her in US if the son is less than 18 years old.
She can divorce without return in Romania and for that she will hire a lawyer to represent her. You can find online a lawyer company in Romania that can take care of her divorce. Also the lawyer can find a way to get his consent to let the son following her. There must be something that he care of, if he is an alcoholic maybe he care more for having money for alcohol than her and her son, maybe if she will sign that she do not need any alimony or she don’t need anything else ( house, car, money) in change for his consent. Be carefull, ask the lawyer if there is a general consent not just for letting the son go to Italy.
Hope you will never give up being with your soulmate!

John, I just got back from Romania and my wife is in a very similar situation. Our attorney has informed us that if my stepdaughter has a passport and has not paid child support that he will not be able to stop her from coming here. She already has a passport that could be a problem. Both parents have to be there to get passport. If your future stepson does not have a passport now it could be a problem

I'm going to play the devil's advocate here, and maybe someone from Romania can elaborate then. You say her husband is abusive. In what way? By drinking and not working? Was he physically abusive to the child? I know in Canada, that divorce happens everyday, but I also know that there are laws there that don't necessarily mean that once divorced, that the Mother, if granted physical full time custody, can just up and leave without the Father's permission. Fathers do have rights as well. Many divorces, I would venture to say, lots of divorces, ensure that the non-custodial parent have very generous visitation rights and here anyway, most divorces and child custody support equal custody to both parents. Child support in Canada does not equal visitation rights, so even if he wasn't supporting his wife, he'd still be allowed to see his child, and have rights about where that child will live.

As others have said, nothing can be done until she gets a divorce, and the ensuing custody arrangements. Perhaps during the process of the child custody, things can be spelled out in legalese and court authorized documents that allow her to leave with the child.

Best of luck in untangling this daunting task with your soulmate! Whatever you two decide, you'll eventually be together...remember that!

HeartPained,

I understand what you are going through as my fiance and I are in the same question. We were able to solve the problem by buying him off and him giving up custody for my Fiance's daughter.

The below link was a big help in understanding what our options were and to understand Romanian Family law...I hope it helps you as much as it did us.

http://ec.europa.eu/civiljustice/divorce/divorce_rom_en.htm

Old Dog

First of all, thanks to everyone for the information and suggestions.

She does have a passport with the child on it, this was to go to Sicily for a "trip" to visit family. But now that she is there, she can not return to Romania, because the husband would never sign the permission papers again.

I guess my root question was what was required by the U.S. to get the son here, but I am sure it would require some type of permission from the father. Aside from how he was abusive, etc., the bottom line is this....even if she were given full custody, the son STILL cannot travel outside of Romania without the fathers permission. (As it is in most countries). And according to her, he would NEVER do this simply out of pure spite, not even sure he could be bought off, just to prevent her from doing what she thinks is best for their son. To complicate things further, she is not in Romania, and would have to do all this from Sicily.

Since my original post, I can tell by her demeanor and what she says that she misses Romania very much, and I sincerely want to get her home where she belongs. I believe it is probably best and easiest that once she has divorce, I will go to Romania and we will make that our home. I know it isn't going to be easy career wise, but in the end, it all comes down to us being together, and we will do whatever it takes. But the alternative is looking more and more impossible, so this seems to be the most logical step now.

Thanks again everyone, and best of luck to you all!

Thanks for getting back to us! It pains my heart as well that things are so difficult with ex's and that things might not work out exactly how you'd like them to. The seperation is still new between her and her husband, so perhaps if/when she moves back, and starts the divorce proceedings both you and your soulmate, and her "ex", can move on. Maybe he'll find someone new in his life, so trying to control her through their child might not be at the top of his agenda.

You moving speaks volumes about your love for her, and I hope that you two can build a life there. I also hope that one day you might be able to bring her and her son over to the US as well. If you're going to do whatever it takes to be together, it's going to be a long hard road. A road that's much easier to travel where there is love.

Wishing you the very best!