I'm not sure what the customs are in other MENA countries, but in Morocco, the family eats from the same plate. I was just curious whether you do this at home with your SO (and children if applicable) or plan to when he/she arrives, or if you will adopt an "American style" of sharing meals.

For us, when we eat Moroccan food we share a plate, but with other cuisines we use separate plates.

we generally share a plate unless its something thats just not practical (soups, etc)

My son loves the communal plate sharing

We almost always share a plate still, but it's just the two of us. We also do it in restaurants which totally freaks out some waiters/waitresses. We've learned to tell them to please leave the food all on one plate because if we say we're sharing an entree they tend to put it on 2 different plates.

When we eat at families house we tend to each get our own plate because that just works better with that setup, but at my mom's Saturday Abdel still brought his plate to my folding table and ate next to me. He also tends to snitch food off of my plate if we have separate plates.

I find it to be a very bonding action and enjoy it but never expected my sons to eat that way when they were living at home. They each got their own plates and ate at their own computers.

we don't share a plate but they don't do that in egypt. I bring everything out family style and everyone fills their own plate.

It depends on what we are eating. My children get their own plate but we will share but again depends on what it is. If it is Middle Eastern food then we share.

We usually share a plate if it's just us, no matter what we have. We bring a tray of food from the kitchen and put it on a TV table between us. We usually use separate cups or glasses, but sometimes there's some trading there too. If my family comes over, we eat around the coffee table -- big plate in the middle, but we serve ourselves onto our own plates. I like the Moroccan-style wraparound sofas. That's part of my dream house.

one plate won't happen here, nessa will have to stab my hand with her fork all the time

We share entrees at restaurants too, occasionally. It's kinda funny -- you know, when you share a plate, there's sort of that invisible line down the middle (or invisible pie pieces with several people) and you generally eat within your "lines," although there's some wiggle room when we share a plate. It doesn't bother me at all if he strays across the line a little, or vice-versa. But let him snag something off my plate when we're using separate ones, and I protest! Must be some social conditioning at work there.

prob seperate, at the family home they always gave me my own plate and then proceeded to always keep it full

My husband's parents are morrocan so he was brought up to eat from the same plate. So he wants me to eat like that too since we dont share plates in Egypt. I'm willing to eat like that its also sunnah but we dont share plates when we eat outside.

We never share a plate but they don't do that in Jordan usually. We do share a glass because we're usually drinking the same thing. But that's about as far as our sharing goes We will eat off of each other's plates too...

We've always shared when we eat together. Also the same in his family home. Usually one bottle of water and one glass and everyone drinking from it all day long...

My own family is the same way, so it never bothered me. My mother use to pour herself something to drink, have a sip, put it down, walk away and come back a bit later and find it gone.. And she'd yell "Whose face has been in my glass? " We were all guilty...

I don't know if it's just Tunisia or just us or what.. But I eat after all his family and they eat after me- Even the same piece of food. I was eating brik one time and was full so I asked his Aunt if she wanted it and I went to kind of fork off where I had eaten and she grabbed my hand and smacked it, laughed at me and put the whole thing in her mouth, even what was just in my mouth - And then she hugged me and said ya benti... (her daughter)

If I am the only one eating at the time and Jihed comes in, I can't keep my his face out of my food no matter what I am eating
I enjoy it like others have said - I feel close and bonded - The truth is we're that close all the time anyway (all the family) if one of us has something, we've all got it anyway lol

Sure makes after meal clean up fast and easy!!

My favorite story though about this was one time when Jihed and I got on the louage to go to Tabarka. It was the world's hottest day in Jendouba and this little van was packed - And the drivers are infamous for driving like crazy people so they can get to the destination fast and get back - quick turn over time - This really old man (and I mean OLD ) was sitting in the van, and sweat was pouring off of him and he didn't look well at all. A young girl got on the louage, I'd say about 16 and after a moment she put her hand into her bag and pulled out a bottle of water and gave it to him to drink - Then after him she drank from it as well. Then she took out bread and gave him some to eat, and again ate after him. I asked Jihed- do they know each other? At that time I didn't understand the Tunisian dialect well enough and wasn't sure what words were said between them..

He told me, she does not know him at all - All that was said was her telling him to drink and eat and that he looked as though he wasn't feeling well and inshallah he would be well soon - And the man telling her thank you so much. I asked him - Complete strangers eating and drinking after each other so directly? He said, to me Ashley, we're all Tunisian, we're family, it's okay, she should help him and be good with him when she sees him in distress..

I felt soooo

We probably will not share, but we have taken turns feeding each other.

AWWWWWWWW
don't you just love that?

We use separate plates. But have seen the communal water jug.

We dont share anything. Food is always set out family style in the middle of the table and everyone eats out of their own plate.

Yeah, it's kinda romantic .

Same with me and Govi - even in restaurants - love it!! There are several photos of me and Govi feeding each other and in the Hindu wedding there is a part where you feed each other.

It is interesting since I have never traveled in MENA and wasn't aware of this custom - I think my Nepali ILs would be horrified since it goes TOTALLY against Nepali Hindu ideas of 'purity' - even in a family everyone has their own glass and plate, and if you share a bottle or glass you drink so your lips don't touch it - with my lack of depth perception this trick is very hard for me so I only drink water this way -with soda or juice that I am afraid to get all over my front I insist on my own bottle or glass.

One of the things I enjoy about VJ is learning about different cultures - fascinating.



Very much so.

i was freaked out in morocco with the plate sharing and i will not share my drink with ANYONE not even my husband. barely my kids. i will give my son my drink and then just let him have it because i see him backwashing. i get so grossed out by it all. im too uptight, right?

my MIL is tunisian and when we go out for the day she always wants to share water bottles and i get so grossed out by it but never want to hurt her feelings.

oh and does anyone have the "honey taste" issue where husband makes something and then proceeds to shove it in your mouth because you have to taste it then and there? makes me nuts!

The only time I ever saw people eating off the same thing was mensef, and then, of course, it was the rice and everyone had their own piece of meat. Is there anything else that is ever communal? I went over to ONE house and ONE house only where one of the girls tore my chicken up for me because I wasn't eating it fast enough. I wasn't eating it because I didn't want any chicken! Ammar got a weird look on his face when i told him and said this was a really old and outdated custom.

No. If I ever saw Ammar backwashing I would NEVER share with him lol. He has their weird way of drinking where he doesn't touch the glass too much-- only with his bottom lip. He sort of pours into his mouth.

Yesterday Ammar made me dinner and he asked me to taste his tomato sauce, egg and bread together. I did it, knowing i would not like it, and I think by the look on my face he knew better than to ask again.

my husband de-shells leb for me and feeds me it.

Here's how our family does it - everyone who's here in the US - ( uncles, aunts, cousins, etc )

Prep the big meal - get the sedr (36-40" platter) out - set it up. Plop it down in the middle of the table.

Everyone gets their own plate, fork, spoon, and bread. Toss a serving spoon on the plate - and grab your food. Use your own plate - and eat with your bare hands if you want to.

Seems like the same thing they do in Amman and stuff - so - it's carried.

---

People there don't backwash into the cup- it's like spitting in food.

I think the water cup sharing is from tradition - old custom. It's desert there in ME - so - there's like ... no water.

Bedouins would carry around a water-hide - and a cup or two - and share sparingly. ( Why drag around a dozen cups and a huge water thing, when you got no water? )

Notice how when we serve tea- everyone gets their own cup.

I don't like sharing same cups or plates. Going out at restaurants we half up the food onto each others plates so we both get a taste. Getting that intimate is unnecessary in my opinion I don't like it. Like my father, he does do the shoving thing if it tastes good to him he just has to force me to try it.

We pretty much do the same as you Jenn. We eat out of the tagine when we're eating Moroccan, but I usually use a fork (just b/c I'm trying not to eat so much bread) and he eats w/ the bread. If we're eating most other cuisines, it's separate plates. We often have our own water glasses, but share if need be. When in Morocco, MIL would break up the meat in the couscous or the tagine and push it towards each person - I always seemed to have some in front of me!

Yeah thats even common here. When eating mansaf, its the ultimate form of respect when the hosts shred up the best pieces of meat with their hands and serve it to the guests. They do it with plenty of other things too though and I must say, I don't care for that practice at all.

The only other communal dish besides mansaf would be dawali (grapeleaves) which if the platter is large enough I often see people standing around and eating them with their hands. But those are more like finger food and that doesnt really disgust me.

Thanks for all the responses! It's been interesting.

I have to admit that when it's just Wadi and I, I like sharing. The more people there are though, the less appetizing it becomes.

We'll be taking my family to visit his family in Morocco and I don't think my family is going to be amenable to the communal plate.

I wonder if people get sick more often in Morocco than they do here because of all the sharing. Or if they're more resistant because of it.

I don't think you'd really catch much sharing food off of a common plate. Sharing glasses is a different thing. I would think they would all be more resistant to a lot of things, but also catch some of the more contagious illnesses faster than us-- but then probably kick them faster. it's like the open sewer issue we used ot have. kids, etc got a lot less common illnesses when there were open sewers (this is not to confuse the issue of vaccines-- most childhood illnesses which cause death are now dealt with with vaccines or antibiotics, etc). After they closed them up, there was a spike in certain illnesses like polio. OTOH, there was an obvious decline in things like cholera. I imagine sharing a glass and such would give you an increase in the spread of cold sores and canker sores (herpes) but a decline in some of the more common illnesses or severity of them.

Who knows. But don't look at me on food sharing.

I'm the kind of person who drops something on the floor in the house "Aww man ... but it's so good ... "

*looks one way*

*looks the other*

*shrug*

*gulp*



[ edit : we don't wear shoes in the house, so it's 50% less gross. ]

me and my fiancee love the communal plate sharing,she likes MOROCCO and she likes the way we live and eat..
march-2008 she became muslim.
Abdo

i now can finally double dip and not feel guilty about it

We don't actually "share", but somehow his food always has a way of
ending up on my plate!! We do have our own plates, glasses, etc but
he keeps putting things from his plate to mine. I just go with the flow..
he's a sweetie...

Ten-second rule.

One thing I hate sharing is my Diet Coke. Come on there's more in the fridge just let me have mine for myself, but I am starting to relax a little bit. We share if it's tagine or something, but if it's other food no. That kind of sharing never really got to me, because it's not like your shoving your face in the food, you're using bread and people clean their hands - really not so bad. My family likes to eat tagines together, but when we have company who are unfamiliar with the practice we usually use seperate plates - just doesn't taste the same to me! Most Americans I have cooked Moroccan food for are interested in eating it the way that Moroccans do.

Some Egyptians *do* share plates. It sometimes depends on the type of food. Somethings, like fuul, baba ganouj, or salads, are generally shared. My inlaws often will even share drinking vessels.

At our home we sometimes share and sometimes not. Again..depends on the type of food and sometimes whether or not we want to bother with extra dishes. My children are used to sharing plates because in their father's culture it's normal to share plates for just about every type of food.

What about eating while sitting on the floor? In Egypt, my husband's family mostly used a tabliyya (very short table) and sit on the floor to eat. My ex's family did the same. Here we do not have a tabliyya so we usually use the coffee table to eat off of. Our kitchen table is rarely used.

We'll both scoop out of the same bowl the hummus is in but we do that here too so I don't see it as a unique thing.

One thing he is getting used to is not putting newspaper on the table to put the food on. lol. We eat at the coffee table in front of the tv. I have this beautiful dining room but it's never used. I was thinking of making it into an extra bedroom because seriously it's one wasted space in my house!

Great question, it was never intentional, but he adjusted to our way of eating. We each have our own plate and cup. Of course since we are married its not a big deal if I grab something off his plate or dring and he does the same. I kiss him, so one way or the other what is in his mouth ends up in mine anyway.

Speaking of one bowl in hummus i get disgusted when my husbands family of 10 all dips the forks they are eating with into the hummus. ICK. I always put a spoon in it at my house.

Bridget, what is leb? Sounds like some sort of seed, i am sure its something they ahve in israel?

That is gross. In jordan people rip a piece of bread off (that hasn't had any mouth or hand contact at all other than where they are holding it) and dip it in the common things, but then they don't double dip either.

leb is what they call these seeds that are varied, like pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, but they don't look like the seeds we have. We eat it everynight. Actually he usually sets up a plate with three kinds of the seeds at night and because we ran around to softball last night he forgot so my daughter set the plate out. I think that's going to be her job now!

My husband tells me I eat like an infant He gets home so late that I have already snacked on something, and when I have class and am home late I eat B4 class.... so he never really sees me eat much

It's gotten to the point where I will just fill a big plate for him and munch off of it. Everytime he makes me a plate I can't eat all of it and he has to finish it anyway As for the drinking - last night when I got home he kissed me hello, handed me the rest of his soda to finish, and went to the microwave to heat the left over dinner he didn't finish for me Yep... I got over it a long time ago

Awwhhhh

I keep reading this title as "who do/will you eat at home."

We ate both ways there- On the floor (small tables) and at regular tables.. Some of his Aunts were a bit fancier at times, but for the most part we ate on the floor - That's how I eat here too - My son and I never use the table and always go for the small coffee table or sitting in the floor... He does the news paper thing too - that's not going to fly here hehehe

Once I was having a dinner with my ex bf. On one side of me was the bf, the other side was his friend. His friend took it upon himself to grab my drink and help himself.....The drink was now his cuz no way do I want to drink after him. God only knows where his mouth has been!!

We never use the kitchen/dining room table either. Always the coffee table in the living room (while watching TV of course ). In Morocco they would sit on the couches that wrapped around the room while eating at the table in the center. I can't wait until we can get one of those!

*this is how we do it*... (song in my head)... but it is... we eat at the coffee table in front of the tv. We are also searching (& saving) for our "Moroccan Salon". My dH's family home also has the wrap-around couches w/ low tables where we'd eat (usually w/ the tv on). They also have a "fancy salon" more for entertaining, but we'd eat in the other room if it was just the immediate family.

We have our computers side by side on a table made from an old door covered in immitation leather laying over two 2-drawer file cabinets. We normally eat dinner there because we only have two barstools and a normal height dining room table, so eating at the table is awkward.

If we have my son and his girlfriend and their kids over, we eat at the coffee table in our bedroom in front of the couch in there.

I wanted a Moroccan dining room but now it looks like we'll be moving overseas in the next few months so unless we can find a place wherever we end up that has one I doubt I'll get that for a while. I had already designed it and planned the addition to the house but I guess that's not gonna happen now.

We don't usually eat with our fingers unless it's finger food. I tend to prefer a spoon while he almost always uses a fork except for soup. We usually drink something different most of the time so have separated cups, but he does drink my water a lot. That drives me nuts because he'll empty the glass but not go refill it sometimes, or he'll drink it after a smoke so then it stinks.

Moving overseas? humina what?!?!

My hubby and I eat communally, tho it was a hard habit for me to get used to at first. Now, if we visit other Arabic people and happen to eat with them, they naturally assume that because I am American I need my own plate. Imagine their surprise when I forgo the plate and dig into the communal plate with ZEST. I LOVE>> Mid Eastern cooking!! My husband also feeds me, especially if he thinks I am not eating enough for his satisfaction.