hi, my friend came to the USA on a fiancee visa.. shes been here for almost a month now and she is having doubts of marrying her fiance because she isnt that happy and marriage is a serious and lifetime commitment.. but she doesnt wanna leave the USA either because she didnt marry him.. what is the best thing for her to do? thank you

It's pretty simple actually... her visa will be valid for three months in total, if she did not marry within that time and does not go back to her home country, she will be overstaying and be like an illegal immigrant. If she gets caught, she might be held for a while, then being send back home and have a ban to enter the US for a number of time.

So basically, if she doesn't wants to marry him, she should leave again to go to her home country.

Her not being willing to leave the US again makes me wonder if she was into it to get a permit to stay or really loved him before. I am not saying it is like that in her case but sometimes I do read stories which make me seriously doubt about peoples intentions.

Anyways, if she wants to be on the safe side and does not want to marry, she should leave the US within two months from now or else she wont be able to enter the US for a very long time.

she can't have both worlds.. she either marries and stay, or leave the country and be single.

From the very time we met our fiance(e), there was enough time to realize and be sure if you do love him/her. It isn't fair to the petitioner that you made him/her compromise with all this process and now here you say not happy and not want to marry.That is why we are required to prove a "GENUINE RELATIONSHIP'.

"but she doesnt wanna leave the USA either because she didnt marry him"... that will create doubts to anyone who reads this.

May God enlighten your friend's thoughts.

"she is having doubts of marrying her fiance because she isnt that happy and marriage is a serious and lifetime commitment"
Did she knew what "FIANCEE" means ? The woman to whom a man is engaged to be married.

i think she spend good time with him before they even filed for the visa
which mean she was 100% sure she loves that guy when they file for the visa but if she was not that sure it means one thing????!!!!!
and it really makes me feel that there are so many people still using American to move to USA just to move to usa sorry to say that but its the truth!!!!!!!!!!!!

Im sorry to hear this.. If you're friend will not marry her fiance, there is no way for her to stay in US,
It is very clear on K1 visa that YOU HAVE TO GET MARRIED WITHIN 90 DAYS, after that given time and u didnt get married you have to leave the country, I know it is very tempting to live in US but tell her to stick to what is right.Maybe your friend is shy to go back home?Tell her its alright.
If she is not happy with her relationship don't compromise her life to the marriage she knows that it will just doom to failure. And also just to be fair with her American fiance.

GOODLUCK AND GOD BLESS!

THAT IS RIGHT, WE ARE ADULT PEOPLE AND ARE SUPPOSED TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR ACTIONS,
MY OPINION IS THAT BECAUSE OF THIS TYPE OF PEOPLE WHO HAS NO IDEA WHAT THEY ARE DOING; IT TAKES LONGER FOR US TO GET THROUGH THE PROCESS, AND BE NEXT TO THE LOVED ONES, BECAUSE OF THIS TYPE OF CASES PEOPLE JUST PLAYING AROUND...

We as filipinos as having bad impression because of that. Living in the USA is not what we all think of.. I would rather say it is much easier to live in the Philippines or other country than US. My husband is american, been there in the US several times but will prefer to live in Philippines or Kuwait.

Sometimes pinays are taking a risk to marry someone just for them to come in the US. Seeking for a greener pasture... I am not generalizing people, but sometimes this is the reality.

I am just glad I met someone whom I dearly love so much..

We cant judge the girl here,atleast she is trying to be honest.And geez dont blame them for all the delays of our pending case.
We dont know the whole story so its hard to say something or to judge her actions.I believe she has a valid reasons why has some doubts to marry the guy...But girl please dont stay illegally in US.

"We cant judge the girl here,atleast she is trying to be honest". SHE COULD OF BEEN HONEST WHEN SHE WAS STILL IN HER COUNTRY.

"And geez dont blame them for all the delays of our pending case"..WELL, HER CASE ISN'T PENDING, SHE'S IN THE US NOW.

Thanks

[when i marry my husband im 101% sure that i love him and his the one i want to grow old with and spend my whole life with him. MARRIAGE IS NOT ONLY A CONTRACT IT IS A LIFETIME COMMITMENT, so u have to be sure that u really love the person before u marry him. just be true to your self to your feelings. if u dont love your fiance well u have to be honest with him and dont marry a person that u dont love for him cuz u will be having a hard life and u wont be happy for your life. and if u marry him with no love for him its looks like u only use him so that u can get there in u,s. dont lose the trust he gave to u. just be true to him. if i were u talk to him heart to heart for sure after that u can breath well. god bless you

I have seen several. It happen to my sister. I know many though that are genuine though which makes me happy

This situation though is terrible and I hate to say it but I feel so sorry for the petitioner! I find it selfish of her:(
I hope she thinks about what she is doing:(

I didn't mean to juge anyone, but i lived in US before and met a lot of different people with different stories, so belive me I know what i'm talking about (the situation in general) there is a lot of SMART people who is makong business of that or get married with someone whoo is very lonely, take everything they could from their spouses money papers and the most impotrand few years of their life... and LEAVE that is the reason immigration officers have to work twice harder to find out what kind of relationship it is and our US spouses and fiancees/fiances have to be double carefull with their decisions .... I hope you know what I mean
Natasha

Yeah i feel ya Natasha.

The K1 visa allows the foreign fiancee to enter the U.S. first and to have up to 90 days to marry her American citizen fiance. If she married him within the 90 days, she could stay in the U.S. forever. If she decided that she no longer wanted to marry her fiance sponsor, she only had to depart the U.S. prior to the expiration of the 90 day period and she would still be eligible for another fiancee visa with the same or a different fiance.

There was one major flaw in the original K1 fiancee visa law. In the beginning, it allowed the fiancee to enter the U.S. on a fiancee visa sponsored by one American citizen, not marry that sponsor, then marry another American citizen and remain legally in the United States. Needless to say, this loophole in the Immigration Law opened the door to much fraud.

Fiancee visa law has since been changed to close this loophole and now requires that the foreign fiancee either marry the U.S. citizen who sponsored her within 90 days of her arrival in the U.S. or depart the U.S. prior to the termination of her 90 day fiancee visa. These are the fiancee's only two options. The K1 visa cannot be extended beyond 90 days and it cannot be changed to some other visa, such as a tourist, student or work visa. Any violation of these rules will result in deportation and, in many cases, a bar from re-entering the U.S. for a period of 3, 5 or 10 years even if the foreign fiancee marries another American.

I am sorry for your friend's situation. I know it is difficult to go through the visa process with the hope of marrying the person you intend to spend your life with and then after getting together begin to have serious doubts on that union.

Not knowing the reasons, I would suggest that she talks to her fiancee and express her feelings. Perhaps it could be just a cultural misunderstanding. If her fiancee is sincere about a good long term marriage he wll assure her of intentions and try to make her feel more at ease. At any rate if within the 90 days she still does not wish to marry she must leave.

Look on it as a great life experience to come to another country and understand what you do and do not want in a marriage. Trying to stay past the 90 days will only lead to further heartache.

Hoping all the best for your friend.
Chris from Seattle.

Unfortunately there are some out there who do think reaching the US is some Holy Grail, and will do anything to make it happen. Even Australians get approached from girls, who seem to good to be true. And no, I am not singling out your country, I have been aproached by a number of nationalities.

We have a large filipino population in my area, and a few have come here to marry Australians. By and large they are beautiful people, who are obviously madly in love. And it is a real shame that a few bad apples do create the impression you are speaking off

We have to also think about the big picture. When a USC meets a foreigner and flies down to meet them to fulfill that one requirement that USCIS requires. They spend a couple of days together and it is actually in a tourist setting and everthing seem perfect. When the foreigner gets to the US and actually is staying with the intended spouse, the trus side of that person is seen. You are in their home, you see how they live and what happens on a daily basis in their lives and here you come to share that space and change their way of living. Sometimes also wehen the foreigner comes to what they think is a bed of roses, we find that it is not so. This is the time we get to really know the person inside out, but is it enough time (90 days)?

I believe in love at first sight but I personally think that even though we think or know that we are in love, getting to know a person in 90 days is not always enough. I know there are people on here and everywhere who has made this work, but then again there ae others who when they come here can't deal with the cultural differences and sometimes the USC makes the foreigner feels obligated and that is not a good feeling.

Just my two cents.

very well said,i definitely agree and just to be fair for the both of them but we knew the very first day we met our fiance face to face if he is the one or not..i guess with her friend,she ain't love her fiance at all,no offensement but that is what the statement goes...

If your friend is having doubts, then she is wise not to get married. i know that when you start this process everythng seems like a wonderful adventure with the prize of marrying and living with your spouse waiting for you at the end. Reality can intervene, and in the process of getting to know the person you love better, you may find that you were in love with love or the idea of the relationship, and not necessarily that person. It is a wise person who sees that before they make the mistake of completing the marriage and then dealing with the relationship of being married to the 'wrong' person.

Unfortunately for your friend there is no way she can stay in the US unless she marries the man who sponsored her as his fiancee. If she does not feel that the marriage is a good idea, then she should not proceed with the marriage. She will have to go home, however, as there are no options for her to stay outside of that particular marriage.

She has the rest of her life ahead of her. There is nothing wrong with changing your mind when you realize that it is not the right choice for you. I wish her good luck and hope she finds the relationship that will make her happy.

We may not know the particulars but tell me, if you even thought you were really and truly in love... wouldn't the heartbreak be that the relationship failed and your dreams diminished......umm more than "oh well....how can I stay in the U.S.?".....

I realize anything can happen along the way but before you even get into this process to make that kind of commitment you better be damn sure! These are the people that are making it harder for the rest of us.

Lots of judgment on such a small story. She wouldn't be the first marriage-based immigrant to find out that the USC wasn't what she thought, and she wouldn't be the first one to be put in a rough position if she had to return home after moving to the U.S. to live with an American. Or the first one to wonder whether she could stay, have more time to think about it. Or the first person to have cold feet in a relationship where there's been a small number of meetings. There but for the grace of God goes 90% of VJ.

(She could be just using him, but if you were planning a fraud, wouldn't you fraudulently marry the guy rather than say 'it's not working out, now what?')

Regardless, she can't adjust status based off of marriage to anyone else besides the original petitioner, and to adjust from the K-1, they have to be married within 90 days. After 90 days, she'll be out of status.

Leave.

If the only reason why she is here is to get married and she is on k1 visa ummm now she don't want to marry the guy then GO HOME and go back in our country (philippines)...

I think the best thing for her to do is make the best decision about marriage she can within the time allowed. Based on that decision, she'll move forward with her life in the USA or live up to the terms of the visa and return to her home country.

That she doesn't want to live up to the terms of the visa, is understandable but as an adult, she surely realizes it doesn't matter whether she now likes the terms she's already agreed to. There are no legal alternatives besides to marry and adjust status or go home.

Tell her NOT to marry him. If she is having doubts now, it is a sign to walk away.

i appreaciate the time u spent for reading my message and for the reply as well...
living in the USA illegally is not my friend's intention, its just the fact that it is tempting, and u are right about that.
number 1 reason is that she not the priority of her fiance, his mother.. he is on his mid 50's and still lives with his mom. isnt that interesting? and u were right, u dont know that whole story and i dont know either..

so there is no other way for her to stay in the US legally but to marry her fiance? But what if she marry someone else? will that work? i dont know if she knows someone she can marry, but will that wok?

thanks guys and God bless u always..

oopppss I GUESS I DID LOVE YOU...HMMM I GUESS NOT..AHA! MAYBE I LOVE THE IDEA OF GC...BUSTED!!!

I totally understand your friend's situation, tell her to take her time to think on whats the best thing to do, what makes her really happy.I can tell living with your in-laws is not a joke!
She cant marry someone other than her petitioner. If she met someone over there she has to go back to PHIL and start all over again with the k1 process.
I hope she will make a wise decision...God bless your friend.

it's been said a few times, but if you're still asking you seem to be missing it... so, for clarity:

no, there is no other way for her to stay in the US legally but to marry her fiancé in the time allowed (which seems to be around 60 more days, from what you've told us)

she cannot legally marry someone else and stay; this will not 'work'

to the OP, if your friend found someone better than her boyfriend, tell your friend to go back to the Phils and let her new boyfriend petition her. simple and easy! and she should make sure that she really likes his new boyfriend. or else she will be confuse again and again.

She can not stay here legally if she does not marry on a fiance visa. She must go back home.