How much time do you think is appropriate to allow your spouse to "settle affairs" in their home country before coming?

2 weeks
1 month
2 months
??????????

Totally depends, I think. My husband was on a plane 3 days after they issued his visa, but he didn't have many affairs to settle. I would imagine that many people might need a good bit of time to wrap things up.

What Jenn said. It depends.

My husband was on the plane 5 days after receiving his visa.

I think by the time the interview comes around, most affairs should be settled or have someone in place to settle them in his absence.

I think that by after interview....if you know your case is approved. Then the spouse should start working on "settling affairs."

For me, I literally became sick with the waiting. So depressed I started taking anti-depressants. But through it all I knew this waiting was forced on us by the government. We could do nothing to change the fact. Now my husband has his visa and he is telling me it will take more than 2 months to "settle affairs."

To me, this is a great, great disapointment!!!!

I think 6 weeks is enough time to get things sorted out, or have a family member help with this. Like Jomo's Girl said, "have someone in place to take care of things."

3 to 5 weeks! it depends

i think it depends on their job responsibilities and also seeing their families before leaving..........so i cant say that any time frame is appropriate......it depends on each person........lol i hope IF we ever get to that stage in this process that perviz would get on the next plane out but i know realistically will probably be a month or two because of his job.................

why can't everything be taken care of by the time they get their visa? As soon as we sent in her petition she was getting everything done that she needed to do. The 6 months more or less the visa process takes is more than enough time to take care of things.

Not everyone has an equal amount of 'affairs' to take care of, people.

I took six months. I came here two days before my visa expired. I needed time to sell my home, resign from my job (mandatory one month notification required), look after my Mum who had surgery, and settle my affairs. It was a pretty complicated process.

Estadia,

I don't think it takes two months to quit a job. You can give notice for one month....

Sujeet came about 1 1/2 months after his visa was issued. We didn't buy the plane ticket til his visa was approved and then he needed time to do things in India and spend some time with his family that lived in a different city.


If from a country where getting a visa takes longer or the approval is harder to get, I don't think it's wise to wrap up everything if you could be waiting even longer for them to actually issue the visa. Not everyone is in the same situation.

I assume he has explained why he needs two months. Do you find the explanation unreasonable?


Exactly!

My husband came one month after the visa approval. He gave his two weeks notice the day the visa was issued, and took two weeks to go visit his family before he came. It does truly depend on circumstances and what is agreed upon between the two of you. On the other hand....unless there's property to sell, transfer assets, or other such procedures that may take longer, two months is a bit excessive just to "settle affairs" IMO.

-P

I personally don't think 2 months is too long. Of course you miss the person, but you will have years and years with them. It's hard waiting even longer, but they are about to move to a totally different country and start a brand new life. Give them 2 months if they need it even if they have nothing to settle and just want to spend some last weeks in their country since they might not be back for awhile.

Selling Property

This is a big issue....

My husband is trying to sell an investment property. He feels that he must sell it before he comes. However, to date, nobody has put an offer on it.

Should he just hang around until it sells?

Here is my suggestions:

1) Give a small discount on the property to a potential buyer you like (for example a newly married couple starting out). Think of it as good karma. Yes, you may lose a few hundred dollars, but you help the buyers start a new life and you see your wife in USA sooner. In the grand scheme of things, a few hundred dollars is not much in USA.

2) If the property does not sell by the end of six weeks. Appoint a family member to act on your behalf as an agent to do the selling transactions. When the property sells, give the family member a couple hundred dollars for helping.

3) If the property does not sell in the six weeks, then just put the selling aside for now and try to later. Especially if the wife is paying for the airline ticket.

Mine was slightly more than 6 months. The company requires 3 month notice for resignation & after that they could not find my replacement for June month end closing (the joy of working in accounting). I stayed 1 week after closing & I worked until the day I had to leave. I agreed to do that because they paid me for 1 month for working 1 week & had my bonus for the 1st half of year.

Our compromise was I came here a month after I got the visa, activate visa & stayed for approx 2 week and head back home.

There are people in his family who don't like the arrangement & thought that I would never moved here & it affected him sometimes. But I needed to spend time with family & friends, finish my job & did not burn bridges. Looking back, he said he was glad that we did what we did.

In my case,,,,

My husband was absolutely sure the we would not wait long....If he truly believed in this, then he should have gotten on the ball sooner.

When we applied for my K1 visa I thought that I'd be over in the USA within 4 weeks after my visa would have been issued. Turned out to be way more complicated! Since I did not know exactly when the visa would be issued I could not give notice on my job and the apartment.
I also didn't want to rush into selling my car as I had to drive to my job. Once the visa was issued I started trying to sell my car. Turned out, it took forever to find somebody who was willing to pay a reasonable price
( I didn't want to lose my hard earned Euros by giving it away for almost free). Then I started looking for a new tenant for my apartment. I had to find the new tenant myself as I hadn't given notice on my flat in time, and hadn't given notice on time as I hadn't known exactly when the visa would be issued. And I needed a roof over my head,right?
Turned out, it wasn't that easy to find a new tenant as there are tons of vacant apartment in the Munich area... All of these points are just a small part of organizing your move to a different continent.

What I'm trying to say is that there's a lot of things to be taken care of, and if you want to do this big step like moving to the US properly you should try to be as organized and efficient as possible. 8 weeks is almost nothing !

Each case is different...

My husband can walk out of his job tomorrow if he likes. He has got a US Visa. He said they have been grooming his replacement for months.

My husband lives with his family and all relatives live close by and he sees them all the time.

He has a property to sell, but that isn't moving. Should he just offer a slightly lower price of a few hundred dollars to sell it. Doesn't seem to unreasonable if it means coming sooner...Or should he wait and wait and wait just for this????

He has to get his university papers certified by Tehran University and translated.

Chill out, 2 months isn't a long time. Maybe he wants to spend time with his family. I know my wife did, she took about 2 months too. I didn't think anything of it.

Stop acting nutty!

I am acting Nutty because I became clinically depressed from the waiting.

Nutty is a play on my name. Say TINA TINA TINA TINA over and over and you get Nutty.

I am acting Nutty because I became clinically depressed from the waiting.

Nutty is a play on my name. Say TINA TINA TINA TINA over and over and you get Nutty.

he is head of the hospital sure its a small one but he is the only doctor that is able to preform heart surgery on children there so it takes sometime to get someone to step in so that the poor people he treats do not go with out medical care.......its in Kashmir ....and because this process has taken so long to even get noa2 it is even more difficult to line another doctor up even if he found one that would be willing to just wait until he leaves if he does not receive visa at the interview he has to stay and work until everything is worked out...........

If you are clinically depressed, you need treatment. A normally functioning human being can deal with 2 more months. Get help, for both your sakes. He will be here soon enough and it'll suck if you're clinically depressed when he arrives.

In your case it is different...and I can understand how two months is needed.

By the way, I travel to Kashmir now and then and have a few dear friends from there.




I am getting treated.

I think whatever he tells you he needs, is what you should give him. He's about to spend the rest of his life with you, so whats the harm?

Good to know.

Please try to relax. 2 months isn't long at all.

All I know is that anyone around here who has guilt tripped or persuaded their SO to come earlier than they would have liked has regretted it.

And people who rushed to come (even without pressure) probably regretted it! (including my husband!)

I received my visa on March 11th and I am leaving in 6 days

We chose to do this as we still had so many personal issues to sort out. Of course I would have loved to have gone straight away, but it just wouldn't have been responsible thing to do.

By that point we had been without eachother for 6 months. We figured that another month wouldn't hurt considering we will be soon be spending the rest of our lives together

How many people here have not seen their spouse for a year or more????

My wife has been in grad school all of 2007 and still is. I see her a lot, but we rarely get to hang out anymore. It sucks but VJ is filling the void!

well im not married yet but i have not seen perviz for one year and three months......

So have you never lived together?????

well we haven't i think ur talking to me lol im not sure but i will answer......well we have not lived together in any way other than my mom and i went two times to India and stayed in his home with his parents......religion and culture does not allow us more than that

Nutty clear your inbox.

Nutty, I just tried to reply to your PM but your inbox is full

VJ filling the void???

That is depressing!

What Trollie said...

Hubster came here a month after he was issued his Visa. He's a teacher, so he felt it was his responsibility to finish out the school year with his students, he had/has a flat that he had to spruce up for a renter, and just other little things here and there.

It is, isn't it

I know that it seems like he is taking his time to get things done but I can't imagine just up and leaving my family without having spent some time with them. He may be thinking that it is going to be a while before he sees them again and wants to take the chance to relax and hang out with them before moving.

We had our interview in March. The CO did not give us the visa becuase he thought sitting on it for 5 months without using it was too much time, so the CO said it would be better to come back in June for the visa.

Even when we get the visa, my fiance is not going to use it until August. We would love for him to be on the next plane here but there are some sacrifices we have had to make so that our families will be happy.

By the time I see my fiance again it will be a year to the day that we saw each other last.

I figure its gonna take a month for when my husband gets his. Though, he thinks it would be sooner. But he does have to give the landlord a months notice, so that's why I figure that. But I guess he could just pay for the full month and take off. We are a long way away from moving time anyways.

You're not married, I take it.

Maybe it is easier for someone who has not married yet and shared a life with their spouse.

I am somewhat familiar with Indian with Indian customs because my home (heartfelt anyway) is Himachel Pradesh. I actually came back to USA to establish domicile just for immigration process.

Darren wants to get his finances completely in order and have no debt before he moves. The process took much less time than we expected, so it will take a little while longer to get everything settled.

i had been living with my parents for a few months already leading up to the day i got my visa so I booked my flight the next day and flew to the US about 4 days after I got my visa....

i also wasn't working so I didn't have that to worry about...

Married or single...2 months is nothing in the scheme of forever (we all hope). I don't know if you feel like he is rejecting you because he doesn't want to come right away, but I wouldn't think he is. It is a very normal thing to need to settle affairs and would free up his mind for a smoother transition into America--which can be downright horrific.

We talked about it. His family was talking about me not wanting to move here got to him a few times. It's not that I did not want to move, but I needed my time too - job commitment, family, everything. Otherwise, he would not hear the end of it everytime I felt homesick . THEN, he would have regretted it

But yes, my last job required 3 months for resignation.