I got my conditional resident card in Feb, 2008. Me and my wife love each other a lot but we started arguing due to waiting for my immigration paperwork EAD first and then the green card because I did not have a job I was not authorized to work. I started a job at a store (overnight) but that was not enough to cover our bills because she was not working too. We are expecting a baby now and she thought that I had to take care of everything. Last year I worked as a waiter and I was making good money. A little bit after We filed my AOS paperwork with USCIS my visa expired with the company I worked for and I had to quit and wait for my EAD because they knew It was expiring. Even without EAD I started looking for other restaurant job because I knew it would be forgiven but it was off-season and hard to find a good one. That’s why after three months I started at a store overnight shift. Two months after I got my EAD and started to look for a second job in Jan, 08. I couldn’t go back to the company I worked for because of personal reasons and I started looking for other place except the overnight store which I hate. A week ago we were arguing again and the truth was REVEALED she is not sure if the baby is MINE that happened because she said she had felt lonely when I was working overnight . The father might be our mutual friend and my co-sponsor!!! What a nightmare! I did want to kill them. I really wanted to wake up and find out that it was not true but it WAS. I’ve got a good job at a restaurant this week. She finally started a job too. I still love her and want to forgive her but now what… The thought of this baby being not mine is killing me. What about the birth certificate?, What about I-751 petition to remove conditions after 2 years with a baby who might not be mine?! Birth certificate with a different father probably? What is USCIS gonna say? Do I need to look for another sponsor if I divorce now? We still live together but I think I will file for divorce she wouldn’t blame me If I do it but I will still live with her because I love her… WHAT SOULD I DO?

You don't need another sponsor - your friend's sponsorship obligations didn't end when he slept with your wife.

Not sure about the birth certificate - you might want to do a paternity DNA test to be certain that baby isn't yours.
In any case, if your wife decides to put another man's name on the birth cert, I wouldn't send it in as evidence.

As for everything else, it's business as usual - as long as you stay married.

I think you need to decide if you want to stay with her because, as you said, you love her. If you don't want to stay, then find out the steps, but make that determination first. There's no point finding out the steps of removing conditions while married if you cannot wait until they are removed to get divorced.

Think about it first.

At our interview we showed the pregnancy center examination paper as an evidence!

That's great. Now the interview is over and what you showed there is irrelevant.

WHY? Pregnancy is one of the best evidences you could have. How could I have known?

Why do you care what evidence you presented during your AOS interview? The AOS stage of your
visa journey is over - your AOS application has been approved - you're now a permanent resident
and that's that. All you have to worry about now is removing the conditions of residence when the
time arrives (either in Dec 2009 or as soon as you get divorced, whichever is the soonest.)

When you file your application to remove the conditions of residence (Form I-751), you can pick
and choose whatever evidence you think is appropriate to convince the USCIS that your marriage
is bona-fide (assuming you're still married) or was entered into in good faith (if you're divorced.)

What If they keep my evidence and when/if called for a second interview they ask for it. Yes, we are married but I am not the father!

1) There is no second interview.
2) They don't pull up your I-485 file when adjudicating the I-751.

Before you jump over board. I would get a DNA test before you make a quick decision.

If it comes back as your not the father, I would think she would maybe do it again. Her excuse is BS.
I would think divorce would be in order and I would not pay child support. I would adjust my own staus and prove it was legit and use the DNA test results as proff she cheated on you.

if you are the father, then that is good. Just proced as planed

Yogi

Excellent advice, Yogi.

If you still love her, why would you divorce? This matter of a child fathered by another individual, while disconcerting and a test of the strength of your marriage and trust, has no bearing on immigration directly.

Thanks, Yogi your answer makes sense. We are gonna make DNA test If He/She is mine I am going to be very happy if not I am gonna file for a divorce and still live with her and live is gonna show because I am still very young and I would like to have my own kinds. I will see my attorney and speak with him. I would feel like a loser

why would u divorse her and still live with her? shouldnt u move out and move on with ur life?

Get a DNA Test.

DNA test fails get the heck out of there.

So You think that If I am not the father I will be able to waive the conditions.

All I can really think to say to all this is I am so sorry. I hope it all works out for you.

I just found this online:


Depending upon your state, there is an automatic presumption that children born during the course of a marriage are the biological children of the husband. You will be responsible for this child should you divorce, so I would recommend that you have a paternity test to ensure that you are the father. Additionally, some states will not allow a couple to divorce while the wife is pregnant, even if the wife admits that the child was fathered by another man. Check with a Board Certified Family Law Attorney in your state to find out the best options for you.

For me it doesn't matter if you are the father or not. THE FACT THAT SHE SLEPT WITH ANOTHER MAN WHILE YOU ARE STILL MARRIED THAT SUCKS! she will do it again and again.

get divorce, then move on!

I agree with you, Donna.

BE CAREFUL if you don't get the paternity test then you will be responsable for the child and have to pay support if you divorce. If you don't pay or get behind then it can and will affect your ability to become a citizen.

Once a cheater always a cheater.

I totally agree with these two. If she cheated once, she'll do it again whenever she is lonely. You could end up paying child support for 18 years on some other mans kid. Get an attorney if you decide to get a divorce, which is probably your best choice, no matter how painful it might be.

Pregnancy is the best evidence that you and your spouse had sex....not that you and your spouse are married and are living together as husband and wife. In applying for AOS based on marriage to a US citizen, the latter is what you need to prove. A pregnancy only proves that two people had unprotected sex.....and unfortunately the situation you're presented with is even more of a demonstration of that fact.

Do some soul searching...decide if you want to continue in your marriage or not. Once that choce is made, proceed accordingly. Regardless of your choice, you will be able to remove conditions to your residency. Its just a question of whether you will be doing it as married, or as single.

Good luck,
-P

I think you people are right. I work so hard to make her happy. I could say that even working overnight 4-5 days I have always taken care of my wife sexually. I married the most beautiful girl in the neighborhood. I love her but I want my own kids. So you think that I should get a family lawyer
they probably charge 2 k for that kind of complicated cases. That's what I paid for my AOS to my immigration attorney + 2k for a family lawyer + DNA paternity test I don't know how to start acting now. Do we have to request the DNA at the time of birth or if we do it after are they going to automaticly put my name on the birth certificate?

I think DNA test is must in this situation. So, save money for this test. Keep all paperwork, all docs to prove that marriage is bona fide and you lived together. Pictures, utility bils, statements form friends-assemble it now. Some people write here that after divorce they were left without any evidence. In yor case the chance that chhild is not yours, I guess, 50/50. If child is not yours, you don't want your name on birth cert and pay child support for 18 years. Might make you feel bitter-cheating plus shalding money every month. I don't see any point living together till I-751 if test proves that your are not father. That is would be very hard and sooner or later the bitter feelings would surface (no matter how much you love her). If you get enough evidence about good intentions about marrage-you should be fine with waiver in removing conditions.

ETA: nevermind...I can't read

-P

I don't understand the preoccupation with whether or not you can remove conditions if the child is not your biological child! There are many couples that have children in the family that have different biological fathers, the difference here is that for obvious and understandable reasons, you were not a part of a decision like that, but your reaction speaks more against the legitimacy of your marriage than the illegitimate child itself!

Just to add to the apocryphal anecdotes about cheating whores:

A musician friend of mine in Dallas was recently ordered to pay child support for a child that is not his. Why? Because his name is listed on the birth certificate. The ex could have waived the child support requirement (and gone after the REAL father), but she won't because she is a money grubbing witch and works as a stripper in some low rent club, my friend is a successful artist and the real father is a deadbeat.

Please, please, please GET A DNA TEST. Isn't there some test that can determine paternity before the child is born (I saw that on an episode of Nip/Tuck, I think)? If you are NOT the father do not let your wife put your name on the birth certificate or you will be hosed.

Also, this thread made me feel much better about my upcoming divorce. Haha! Thanks!

As for your immigration - see a lawyer.

That is all.

What about my reaction? How would you feel if you were me? I am still very young I can have my own kids! "reaction speaks more against the legitimacy of your marriage than the illegitimate child itself!" You want me to suck it UP for 18 years! I really love my wife but I am not sure how much she does. I wanted to make her a princess. She had been staying home without working before she finally got a job last week after a lot of arguments.

A lot of couples adopt children and raise them as their own and don't consider it "sucking it up for 18 years."
If you want your own kids, have your own kids, but treating your step-children with such disregard is criminal.

Sounds like the your anger at the thought of raising a child that may not be biologically yours takes precedence over the love you say you have for your wife. Fine, I'm sure you're not the only one to feel this way, and nobody is judging you for it. But you seem to be more concerned about how the situation (you not being the father of the child) would affect your immigration. That is what makes you sound a bit selfish, IMO.

You're having a marital/family issue...you've been told this has no bearing on your immigration, i.e. it will not affect your eligibility to file for removal of conditions. What you do with the rest, whether you get a DNA test, whether you divorce or stay married is entirely a private issue that only you and your spouse can decide.

-P

In nations where the death cult of feminism has become fully entrenched (US, Canada, UK, Australia, New Zealand, etc), paternity fraud has reached pandemic proportions.

Figures in Ireland are particularly disturbing where paternity fraud is a full 33%, or 1 in 3 children. http://www.irishhealth.com/index.html?level=4&id=13318

I would get the paternity test done, even if you have to pay for it. The level of misandry (man hating) in America is extreme, and you are guaranteed to be made a slave by the rabidly anti-male "family" court system if you do not take action to protect yourself.

If you can prove the baby is not yours, speak to a lawyer and see if you can appeal USCIS under the spouse abuse stipulations. This will allow you to keep your legal status and get away from a spouse that clearly has no respect for you.

Have you read the original post? We're not talking about a step-child here. We're talking about a child conceived outside of the marriage during that marriage! Maybe you don't respect marriage at all, but for me, even though I'm a woman, I still think it is wrong for a woman to get pregnant by another man while she's married to her husband and not even separated. I think it shows a total lack of respect for the spouse and the husband in such a situation can expect more of the same action if he chooses to stay with her.

Of course if this is a troll trying to start a fight or a man just fishing for an easy green card, I can see your response, but if this guy is a legitmate poster, someone who finds out their spouse is cheating in such a manner certainly has a right to be upset.

No, I understand - he has every right to be upset. At the same time, he claims he loves his wife
very much. If he decides to stay in this marriage, "sucking it up for 18 years" is a pretty
outrageous thing to say about your wife's child, regardless of who the biological father might be.

Ok let me understand, your whore slut wife sleeps with someone else while you are working your ars off to make her happy and gets pregnant. The child is innocent but this guy should not be held responsable if the child is not his. If they want to work out the marriage that is great but still do the DNA test and put the real father on the birth certificate and man him pay support. If you accept responsability for the child even financially some judges will make you pay support even if the kid isn't your own.

The wife is the slut whore ###### pile of #### but the guy has a right to be upset and the child will suffer because of the mother's sins.

Chill out with the hell fire and brimstone sin condemnation talk.

not to change the subject but i have a question about this. if u dont pay ur support or get behind it can affect becoming a citizen. does that only apply to the children in the united states? why im saying this is my husband paid his child support faithfully when he was living in saudi arabia then he moved here 4 years ago and his exwife stopped picking up the support so when his dad went to pay the support they told him they cant accept any more money from him cuz my husbands ex hasnt picked it up in 3 months so they closed the account. if she wants support she has to sue for it again. well to this day she hasnt sued for it so is that going to be a problem since he hasnt paid in 4 years? he does sent money for his daughter school and his sister takes it and gets a reciet but that was not a part of the support. he just made an agreement with his ex to take her to a english speaking school and he would pay for it.

anyone know for sure if they look at the support over seas or just in the united states?

When I married my wife last year I had already accepted one kid, the one she has from her previous relationship. This kid loves me more than the real father probably who has not appeared to see his child for 6 months. I am the one that takes care. When that innocent child looks at me with that big blue eyes... Every morning when I was coming from work she is awake ready to hug me.... So you don't tell me what is going to affect my immigration:
"Sounds like the your anger at the thought of raising a child that may not be biologically yours takes precedence over the love you say you have for your wife. Fine, I'm sure you're not the only one to feel this way, and nobody is judging you for it. But you seem to be more concerned about how the situation (you not being the father of the child) would affect your immigration. That is what makes you sound a bit selfish, IMO.

You're having a marital/family issue...you've been told this has no bearing on your immigration, i.e. it will not affect your eligibility to file for removal of conditions. What you do with the rest, whether you get a DNA test, whether you divorce or stay married is entirely a private issue that only you and your spouse can decide."
You never know the life is unpredictable and If not now but in future she decides to divorce with me after 2, 5, 10 years I am going to suck it up! It sounds rude but it is reality

But she should have been more careful now because I am a man and I want to have a child that has my blood too. This is kind of respect for me. Even If the situation does not work out and we divorce I still hope that I will be able to see that kid.
The kid who is coming does not have fault too.

There has been a lot of angry and bitter and hurt words written here - not just by the OP - but by others as well. The OP's wife had an affair and yes, that certainly shows a lack of respect for the OP and their marriage commitment. He lsays he oves her, yet there are some fairly harsh statements and suppositions he is also making.

I have one question to ask of the OP: what if the child IS yours? Do you want to raise your child in a family environment? Can you work through marriage counseling with your wife trying to salvage a second chance? Would you want to try? Perhaps you don't wish to because she has betrayed you once, but I think you also need to look at what you will do if the DNA test proves that the child is yours. It is easy for others who are outside of your relationship to point fingers and call names and pass judgments, but you are the one who will be living with the consequences of your words and actions whether the child is or isn't yours. Think carefully about what this means on all fronts, not just the worse case scenario. Good luck to you.

I don't understand how this child, the child potentially fathered by another man, prevents you from having your own child with the woman you claim you still love. If you love your wife, enough to remain living together, then why must you divorce her? Isn't the whole concept of that love you have for her, to accept her mistakes, forgive and rebuild? If not, then what does love mean to you?

I am not suggesting that you must taken on the child as if nothing happened. I am not suggesting that you *should* remain married to someone that could commit such a transgression. In fact, I would not find it unacceptable if you declared that this pregnancy has broken the trust that is essential between husband and wife. What I fail to understand is that in spite of the ability you have to retain the love you once shared for her, that you don't have the ability to deal with this incident as an unfortunate mistake and adapt and move forward, together, as two loving individuals that share one common goal...to respect each other, their progeny, mistakes and all. If you wish, why not ask yourself, "If I still love my wife, and wish to spend my life with her, what makes this child any different from the child she had with another individual before we married?

So, what is your plan? To pre-empt her and divorce her first before she divores you? Help me, I can't quite grasp what it is you are trying to say?

I am going to put in my two cents on this knowing that there will be those who will judge me for what I'm saying, but because I think it needs to be said. In my first marriage, I was the one that cheated - for 9 years. My husband forgave me and kept begging me to stay, even though I wanted out. That is why I said that once a cheater always a cheater, at least in a specific relationship. Once a person knows that their partner will allow them to cheat and stay with them, they will keep cheating. Once I got out of that relationship I promised myself I wouldn't ever stay in a relationship if I felt the need to cheat and I haven't. But in that relationship, I knew that I could cheat all I wanted and he would forgive me, and he did. I was the one that ended our marriage and he was the one that even then begged me not to end it.

People who love each other end up divorced because of things like this and it is in both of them's and the children's best interest to do so. No kid needs to grow up seeing their parents in a dysfunctional relationship, and that is what these relationships are.

That's just my opinion of course, so I'm sure there will be those who disagree.

I think it is more about cheating than raising not own child. I would not want to stay in this relationship. But I would give it one more chance if DNA test proves that child is CResident's-for kid's sake too. But if child is not his-kind of difficult to forgive wife. I don't believe that staying married for I-751 sake is a good idea. It is illegal in a first place and, I think, tough from psychological point of view. Without DNA test, I think it is difficult to make decision. (The CResident's cries about love for his wife is a mystery to me-how come? even if she is sooo cute-her attitude, cheating-at this moment, I would hate her. And the way he writes about her-I don't hear love there). I do not know US procedures about birth cert (in Russia husband has to sign and his name appears; if later DNA proves that he is not a father-court might remove his name from Birth Cert, but I believe that he has to prove that he did not know that he is not a father; so, it is complicated). Some time ago paternity DNA test was $800-$2000 in US. Maybe it is cheaper now. To make test while child is not born-I believe, mother has to agree.

Sounds true to me-once a cheater always a cheater in a specific relationship. And I am sure, in most cases, cheaters want out of relationship. But I am also sure that cheated ones beg to stay in relationship not because of love-emotional dependence or they want to do it on their terms/time (but never summon courage to do it) or else...

The problem with America is, we subsidize bad behavior. A wife gets bored with her husband, so she divorces him and gets the house, the car, and bank account, the kids, and money every month. If you give people money to do bad things, you can expect more people to do bad things.

If your wife is pregnant and its not yours, and you turn around and give her money, why would she not go and do it again?

OP the choices you make now will affect you for lifetime. You are bitter and upset now and faced with hard decisions. As you are on removing conditions forum, I understand that it is on of many worries you have now. From what I have seen here people get approved even if they are divorced.

Some of them get approved ahead of many happily married couples with kids.

So I wouldn’t worry about removing the conditions much and look for a long-term solution. Seek counseling, seek God. No one here can advice you as no one knows the whole story. I personally would go to a nearby Christian bible based church and seek for help there. Best of luck to you. S.

Men can claim spousal support too. More than 30 percent of higher-earning spouses are women.
If you're a broke-### loser married to a wealthy woman, you can take her for every penny she's got.

I know in Canada (not sure if that is the case here in the US) you can be held responsible to pay child support if you are the one raising the child even if you know it is not your child and the child still has contact with the other biological parent. I am having a hard time figuring out if you want to stay married if it is your child or not, so I suggest you do some soul searching and decide what you really want and if it is to stay married regardless if the child is yours (that is important to determine) or not.

If that child turns to be mine I am going to be very happy because I want my own child. I have already accepted the one she has from her previous relationship I love that kid as my own but a second one not mine... It is kind of disrespectful. I am kind of torn. The reason which I am posting for is to find out the consequences IF The child is not mine and how it would affect that my immigration case. You may say that It is selfish to think that way. But the life brings you in situations you have never expected like this one for example. I do want to have my life depending on someone, people are changing and you never know where or when you are going to end up. I have no idea what she may do in future as I had never expected for this situation before happened. Love is love but people changing....