There's a lot of trust that has to occur in this process.... wonder about people's thoughts on this these days...

I should have added an 'undecided' category.... that's what I am....

I'll get this polling thing right eventually ;-)

Jen

I remember someone saying her fiance wanted one once on here and OMG was he slated and she was told to dump him.

Personally I think if you both go into it with similar assets it's not needed, if one of you is a millionaire maybe.

We never bothered just because we are both pretty broke. If we had anything at all, we both agree that we would have gotten one. I love my husband and we know we will be together forever, but we also feel like we wouldn't want to be naive. People grow and change, hopefully we will do that together and it will never be an issue, but if we did ever break up, I think we would both rather have everything in order. I mean, it would be a horrible enough time, wouldn't want to add splitting up assets to the mix.

I'm sure Nani has no clue what a pre-nup is. I know what it is but wouldn't consider doing one. Not that I think it's wrong. Just happen to think it ain't right for me. It sort of interferes with my definition of trust.

I wish I had had one.

But I settled on the good old "I trust my partner".

Then I got taken to the cleaners. Lost everything.

Bad experience.

I am the foreign fiancee (Filipina). I brought up the topic of pre-nup to my fiance and offered to sign one. He said the thought crossed his mind for maybe one nano-second but decided NAH, he doesn't want a pre-nup. That made me feel good

dont need one

nope.. did not do one and did not see it as relevant in our case

We both are just starting out in life and have no real assets or money...so it was not even considered.

I bought up the issue recently due to what he has gone thro with his soon to be ex wife.....I told him I was prepared to sign one and wouldn't feel bad about doing it if that's what he wanted. He thought about it for a few days and decided it wasn't something he wanted to do.....he trusts me not to 'screw him over' if things do happen to go wrong and I trust him to him to be fair also, I have been with him thro his divorce and know he is a fair person.

Would never consider it myself under any circumstances....even after being taken to the cleaners by my second hubby when he wasnt entitled to much at all, let alone half of what I got from my first marriage. What I did walk away with I partied year long, went on a wild spending spree so the next time someone loved me it was for me hahahaha We could of done with some of that money now

Nope, not even part of our conversations.

It's all about trust and being practical. Marriage is made in Heaven but when things goes sour down the road, the same person who pledge the love ever after turned against each other, The devil at work. Put your trust in GOD, only He can watch out over you, yes lot of stuff in just MATERIALISTIC, as we go leave this body we are not going to take none of these things with us. As a newlywed, I put my trust in the Lord as he's the one that brought us together in Marriage. But that situation could have been different if there were children involves, that way the kids from both partners are protected.

We both had nothing of any great value when we got married. However, if I had sizeable assets I would've gotten one. Nothing too crazy - just some basic protection to make sure I wasn't being married for my $$$.

He wanted 50/50...but since I had kids from other relationships I pridefully insisted on more like75/25...on me. But once I got pregnant with Emmie it was more like 25/75. I was so proud last month when I was actually able to help him out for a change. Of course he wouldn't have needed any help if he hadn't spent so much on us when he was over here for those two months. We finely agreed that both of us should share finances like we share our love on the bad days. Who ever has...gives. Who ever needs...takes without pride. And if neither have...we just hug and laugh and do the best we can.

sister lorelle to you...dean

I'm just a first-year teacher, fresh out of university, so I have not much asset to speak of. My fiancé's settled, with a greater nest egg, but hey... I'm the one who's giving up my career and life here in Canada for him. Lots of trust is involved here. We've discussed it as an interesting topic of discussion, but both decided that we have no need of one.

for karen and i there are much more important things than money. this was never considered. ever.

agreed...neither of us have much anyway. i lost everything in my first marriage as well...and my ex a$$hole husband left me with not so good credit as a result. but joel is different...we've gotten to know each other in ways i never knew my ex.... we trust each other implicitly.

I brought the subject up as I thought he might want one...He didn't...


Kim

no, no, and no!!! If you ask me, it's just another way of making it easier to get divorced. You shouldn't be going into a marriage planning on how to get out of it cleanly!!!

Stupid stupid stupid!!!

Did I mention I think they're stupid?!

we discussed it, and we agreed that if we divorced, i'd get the futon, the laptop, the xm radio and the tray tables.
he gets the tv, the desktop pc and the bath mats.

Talked about it 3 weeks after we met online..... and Nah...... it's not how we do things!
Besides... we don't have much. We'll build everything together from scratch almost (except that he has a car and some expensive music recording stuff and I will get 50% of my parent's apartment if something happens to them!)!

no way - neither of us has anything anyway I just think it's going in with doubt...and I had none

We didn't even think of that when we got married.

I think it depends whether it's a first marriage or not. When people get married for the first time they don't think of such things (unless if one of them is a millionare, like was mentioned before). But if it's not a first marriage people tend to think ahead in case if something doesn't work out, and the experience they had with the divorce of previous marriage probably will make them think ahead this way.

nope, we are both still young and neither one of us is filthy rich (yet!!)

NEVER even considered one. Danette and I were friends for a few months before we began to get serious. We talked about EVERYTHING. There were no subjects off limits. So, I trusted her from the start. And I believe, she feels the same way. Besides, we plan on partying most of it anyway. LOL...LOL
Bruce

I'll admit that I thought about it seriously for a while. Which is funny really, since Sian owns her house, and will see a very nice profit on it when she sells it (South London) - making her wealthier than me. lol I own my house also. It was my grandmothers, and I grew up here, so the house has a LOT of sentimental value to me. That was why I seriously considered it.

Yet, I trust Sian. If things DID go bad, she could totally destroy me by taking my house if she were so inclined. I don't see that happening though. This will be the first marriage for both of us, so maybe I'm naive, but I don't think so.

As for Sian's "riches" from selling her house, that's going into an account for her son to go to college. I would never even consider touching it for any reason.

Therin lies the problem! It should never be considere, IMO.

ditto

my fiancee has never heard of such thing... maybe because they don't have them in Thailand?!

Anywho... it's jut WRONG!!!

Never even cross my mind. We plan to be married forever

Yes, we have a pre-nuptual agreement. We agree that we will love each other forever.



Altogether now: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

You go Lisa!

For your consideration....


http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...opic=13677&st=0

nope. never considered.

Daniel

We got a prenup to establish that in the case of divorce we would each keep the assets we had when we got married and how we would divide them up in case of divorce. Neither of us saw this as anything other than reasonable. If, God forbid, the marriage went wrong, neither of us would be in a position to make rational, reasonable decisions about this kind of thing as we both well know from past experience. This way, the rules are already established.

Like making a will - doesn't mean you want to die (although of course it;s inevitable at some point!) , just means that you want to make everything clear in advance and to avoid extra pain at a painful time.


We certainly don't expect or plan on getting divorced but are realistic enough to recognise that however much you are in love, it's impossible to predict the future.

wouldn't even consider one, and anyone who does, isn't 100% commited, IMHO

it's ok ... we're used to warped opinions around here. having a pre-nup is not indicative of the level of committement one feels for the other.

if anyone has substantial assets, they would be a fool NOT to protect themselves. this is reality, not hollywood ... there are no fairytale endings here!

Especially if there are children involved, the matter of financial security becomes even more compeling.
Financial self-protection; and protecting the financial future of children you are responsible for has NOTHING to do with the level of love in the relationship/revenge or whatever- and everything to do with protecting yourself and your children.

I concur!!

we certainly discussed it....both of us have been thro ugly divorces....we decided against it but I don't think Pre nups are anything to be ashamed of

I don't have S###....he don't have S###. We don't need one

what a joke. i dont have assets but if i did i still wouldnt. i want to be married to samir forever. not worried about him taking my money.

The thread has surface again... good.

Seems to be a theme going on here...

Generalizing...

those who have no assets are opposed... while those who have had had enough life experience to have accumulated some assets are not....

Interesting.

Edited to say that since having posted this poll, we are no longer undecided... no pre-nup for us.