Sorry, I couldn't understand these two. Could you explain unlawful and illegal. Maybe I'm not getting it, seriously, I don't.

Totally off topic, but I like your new signature so much better. In the old one, your fiance looked like he was 60. Now, I can see this is not true.

I think the comment that you made (which I've put in bold) is the most disgraceful thing I've heard in a long while, and I, like all Military spouses who live and breath their military lives on a daily basis will back me on saying that your comment was highly offensive!
You obviously have absolutely no idea as to what the troops out there are having to deal with .... of course you won't as the news on the T.V. cannot actually show you.
Try watching your closest friends being blown up in front of your face .... try having to shoot people on a daily basis because your life and your colleagues lives depend on it .... try dealing with the fact that you've just found another of your colleagues dead because he couldn't cope and committed suicide ..... oh, and don't squirm, this is all tame, because if I wrote the really gory facts ..... you'd probably want to throw up.

So, next time you think 'problems because of being deployed in Iraq, who cares?' ..... stop, and take a minute (while you sit in your comfortable chair, stuffing your face with tasty food) ..... and actually give some thought to the guys out there who are fighting so that you CAN sit in your comfortable chair and CAN stuff your face with tasty food ..... because trust me, they don't have those luxuries that you have ..... they don't get to kiss their wives at night, or often see their children being born .....no, they're fighting so that your sorry arse is safe.
And because of that, their families get to go without .... and when they return home, it us, the military families that have to pick up the pieces.
Have a bit of respect.

If Tashyta wants to turn her back on a guy who bravely fought for his country and our freedom, then so be it .... not all people are 'man' enough to deal with the fallout of war.
I wish the guy luck, and I hope he gets his back sorted and gets help for his head and somehow gets to re-build his life after giving US (you, me & everyone else) everything he had.
Some of us out here don't run when the going gets tough, we batten down the hatches, we hold our positions, and ride out the storm ..... no relationship is easy, but this issue makes a relationship even harder.

And if anyone from USCIS is actually reading this, your inclusion of war veterans in delays on the I-130's is a downright disgrace, you should be ashamed!

"Illegal" implies criminality, and "unlawful" doesn't. Roughly the distinction is if something is illegal, it's expressly prohibited by law, and if it's unlawful, it's not permitted, but not expressly prohibited. An example is jaywalking. The law says 'crossing the street in between the crosswalks is legal' Crossing diagonally is unlawful, but not illegal.

Traffic rules are examples of other regulations that where breaking them is unlawful, but not illegal.

In the case of an overstay, there is no law that says 'it is illegal to overstay a visa.' Rather, it says "this time period is your authorized stay", and if you overstay it, you're out of status. That makes it an unlawful act.

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Arkayel was very harsh, but he does have one good point. The couple isn't married, and she has no legal status here, and he seems to have no interest in marrying her or making her status legal. She can't *decide* to stay here and help him heal. She'll be living here with no way to work with someone who doesn't want her around.

This might be the fault of PTSD, and it's tragic if it is, but she's under no obligation to jeopardize her own well-being for someone who she's not married to. From her perspective, whether he's doing it because of PTSD, or because he's a jerk who doesn't want to spend the money to file, is immaterial at this point. There's no delay to blame on the government, because they haven't filed anything.
It isn't turning her back on him, because there is literally nothing she can do unless he decides he wants to get married. And it doesn't look like he does now.

To Tashyta
Do what u feel its right for u and your life. If u are not sure about your life with him together and dont feel enough support and love from him...
I know what I talk about. I was in similar situation. Lived with my ex for 2 years in UK, applied for de facto spouse visa and followed him to Australia (he is AUS), we kind of knew it wouldnt worked out but I loved him soooo much and I gave up everything and followed him. Well, I stayed there just 2 months...we loved each other a lot but it didnt worked out. I bought the ticket and last week we spent together was one of the worst experience of my life, we both cried all day but we knew we wouldnt be good together. So the only solution was to leave and live our own lives. He went to the airport with me and we cried and cried. I cried all the way home, almost 24 h on the plane. Took me long time to recovered from what I went through and when I got home I promised to myself I ll never move for man again. few months later I met Robert - now my lovely husband, well, I moved again but this time I was sure about my feelings.
I wish u good luck in your future and good luck with making the right decision. Sometimes u need to be selfish and do the best for yourself and also for him. And yes, if u leave, it will be very hard next few months or years. But u ll be home with all your friends and family.

Hi again.

Well, I see there was some response to my post. I think someone was a bit too sensitive and did not see my real point. I was trying to explain that if someone does not want help it does little good to try to persuade or force them. I have seen this many times, and no matter what the problem is it has to be their choice. You sure read a lot into what I said that as not there.

Also I see many people who use problems as excuses to get their way. This is really disgusting to me, since the people who really need the help become tainted with the bad things others do using the camouflage of the problem. As you see, I am talking about other things besides just PTSD. How do we know that all his problems are caused by being deployed anyway? To me he sounds like a jerk who is taking advantage of Tashyta. She is the one I have sympathy for. And I admit we only have her side of the story, but that is what I am using unless I hear something from her Fiancee... (smile)

I see you also lashed at Tashyta in your zeal. At least you caught that after someone reacted to you. I am a vet and know a lot more than you think about this. I am sympathetic, but we do not even know if this guy has PTSD! This is speculation. We do know he is not holding his end of the bargain with Tashyta! Save your help for her since she is asking for it.

Thanks Caladan for having more common sense about what I said. I do admit I was harsh, but I think Tashyta is getting a raw deal. And reading posts by people about how she can help her Fiancee after he has been irresponsible and gotten her in trouble really bothered me. If he cared about her he would at least have gotten her to go home before and tried to get his self together without adversely affecting her.

I wish you Luck Tashyta.

I'm sorry for the harsh comment Tashyta, I really bit the hook when the 'problems because of being deployed in Iraq, who cares?' was said. I shouldn't have thrown you into the mix, but I was really angry as Arkayal really has no idea what it's like to live with PTSD following war.
At the end of the day, only you can make the decision of what is best for you.
By the sounds of it, you've done your best ... and at the end of the day, that's all that counts.
I'm sorry again for saying what I did .... your life has been very hard (and I do understand that part), and hopefully one day he'll get some help and put you guys back on track.
Goodluck Tashyta

Thank you all for your support! You can't imagine how important it is to me! Of course from time to time I get wave of doubts about my decision but everyday I'm persuaded more and more that my decision is the right one. I do need to get out of this kind of life. All this time I was working against myself by doing everything what he needed and he wanted to do. And he in his turn did the least out of what he could do. But it's O.K. I'm now more experienced than I was one or two years ago. No matter what I still want to live and enjoy life fully.

Thank you all again, you are absolutely great!!! I love you all and I wish you all good luck! Maybe some day I'll be here again