It's been along time since I been on here, I had received alot of good advice. If you remember my husband after receiving his gc up and moved to dallas, tx., he stated he could make more money there. I was going there every other weekend we were in marriage counseling. We had seen 3 different counselors, they all said we needed to go our seperate way. I was determined to fight for my marriage. Well my husband was only making $10.25 hrly. and he was still on the singles line, this time to females in New York because that was his next move. His "reason" to make more money to be able to start his own business. He will stay ther a year. When and if he returns it will be time for removal of conditions. To me he was indirectly telling me he only married me for his status. I had gone to Immugrations to file a complaint, talked to investorgator shared the evidence I had plus emailed his single profiles that included his photos, she said they were opening up a case on him. I never heard from anyone. I made an info pass, I did the same thing this time with info about NY, I even made them aware the length of time we had been married and how long we lived under the same roof, still nothing. One of the females from NY stated she was in same sitution, gave me # and address to Homeland Security, she said when they investagated they deported her husband. I did that and still nothing. I am on both sides of the fence. I want to be married to him but I dont want to be used. I was feeling like all that I have done trying to get in checked out, the doors were shut in my face, so he made me want to fight even harder for my marriage. He said the single line is an addication and he had been going to counseling for that. Whn he was in Dallas he stated ther were people from Oklahoma that followed him there, they bad mouthed him and kept him from getting a decent job, now that hes in NY he is saying the same thing and even says his phone is bugged. I told him he was paronied and there must be a reason as to why. Any advice?

I am not sure what kind of advice you are looking for at this point - what to do with your relationship, or what to do about his Immigration status - so I will just say my thoughts...

I can appreciate that you want to make your marriage work, that it is very important to you, but please ask yourself this: do you have a real marriage right now? Do you have trust for him, or love from him? Do you have honesty? Why do you feel that it is important to fight for this marriage, when he has never really been involved with you since he arrived? Why do you continue to fight for this marriage, or believe things like someone would follow him from one state to another keeping him from getting a good job?? Even if they really didn't like him, how many would go to such trouble - unless he really really really is a bad seed and they didn't want him to affect someone else...

I feel for you, I really do - it seems that your desire for love and marriage has blinded you (partially at least) to the truth of this situation. Please take care of yourself, and think very hard if you want to continue to support him in any way - financially, to get his 10 year Green Card, etc.

I agree with Carolyn very well said. Not only did he deceive you but he has evaded immigration laws as well and being at the stage where you are now makes me peeve because there is nothing that can be done. Unless you can withdraw the affidivit of support that might make it harder for him to receiev his unconditional GC? I'm sure someone will correct me on that..I wish you all the strength and energy to do the right thing. Good luck.

I agree, i'm not blind I see it but dont want to see it. I want it to be that my husband married me because of love, and not gc. I was stating that each time I tried to get him looked into it fails, like this is God saying it will work out just know, so He (God) is interveing so our case is not looked into. I might just be doing wishful thinking.

I remember your previous posts about your situation. I am sorry he is doing this to you, but honestly, I can only have so much sympathy for you.
How much longer do you want this guy using you and making a fool out of you?
Have some self respect, file for divorce and have him try to remove conditions by himself. I don't think he will have a good chance to do so. And then see how he will react. Right now, he is still somewhat "nice" to you, wait until he starts showing his real face.

I too respect your wish to make this marriage work, but to me, a marriage is a bond between two people who are dedicated to each other and your husband is not. Let it go and find a man who is worth it.

You stated you wanted to be married......this is not a marriage. This is him using you. Get rid of him and move on with your life. Lose all contact with him.

You seem like a nice, caring person. You deserve so much more then what you are given right now.

[quote name='Jomo's girl' date='Apr 15 2008, 08:43 AM' post='1756342']
You stated you wanted to be married......this is not a marriage. This is him using you. Get rid of him and move on with your life. Lose all contact with him.

You seem like a nice, caring person. You deserve so much more then what you are given right now.
[/quo
When John was still living in Dallas I did file for a divorce, and gave him the papers to sign, he threw them away and explained to me why he didn't want the divorce, again I fell for it. I just recently found emails from his ex-wife and when he left he told her he was comming back, but told me they were divorcing before he left Germany. I just today found that info. Even when we were together he was still pulling her leg about needing to make money and become a man of himself. The very words he said to me with both of his moves. I really know which way this is going now.

Jomo, this is exactly what I was going to say.

This is NOT a marriage.

Wake up! You are following this man all over the country, from Texas to NY. It's obvious he wants nothing to do with you.
He wants his green card and you were the vehicle for it.

I'm sorry, your heart must be broken completely but it's time to accept what kind of man your "husband" really is. He doesn't love you.
You deserve someone who lives under the same roof as you, who respects you, loves you, someone who is working towards the same goal in life. A best friend, a lover and a soul mate. What you have with this man is not what marriage is at all.

When will you come first? It's time to live for you hon, and not him. You can only do so much...you can only give and give and give but when do you get something in return? It's not fair to you...be true to yourself!!!!

It will suck for awhile...but as time goes on, you will heal, you will grow and you will move on.

Do it for yourself, that's all you really have.

Best of luck always.

If immigration opened a case on him, they may not let you know exactly what they're doing, but chances are high that they are investigating him. I would want to know that, too, however. I'd basically harass them into an answer. Use the info below to see what you can find out:

You can contact ICE via email at Immigration.Reply@dhs.gov or you can telephone ICE at 1-866-347-2423.

USCIS fraud investigations unit may not do anything YET. Remember, this cad...ooops , "lad" has to finish the race and there's still one hurdle, Removal of Conditions, to jump. Why would the agency place time and resources into something now, when there is a perfect opportunity to trip this guy up later on down the line?



USCIS fraud investigations unit may not do anything YET. Remember, this cad...ooops , "lad" has to finish the race and there's still one hurdle, Removal of Conditions, to jump. Why would the agency place time and resources into something now, when there is a perfect opportunity to trip this guy up later on down the line?

I think you are in TOTAL DENIAL!!!!!!

There are times when I see someone who is being taken advantage of by someone and I want to help. But that person needs to wake up first from their wishful thinking.

You keep mentioning you are "fighting for this marriage." But you are the only one. Your husband certainly isn't. This crap story about him being followed by people from Oklahoma and now people giving him trouble in NY is ridiculous!!! Even three marraige counselors could not convince you the guy you are with is a scoundrel.

I really don't know what to say, other than wake up and smell the coffee! Stop allowing yourself to be a doormat! Have some love and pride for yourself! Realize you are being abused and used by con artist who knows a mark (easy con victim). Contact the Department of Homeland Security and give them all the info about the marriage fraud.

Stop looking for other opionion to justify or validate your reasons for allowing yourself to be in this situation.

What a con artist!!!!

There is a saying,"God helps those, who help themselves."

What have you done to help yourself from being used by a con artist?

Con artists techniques are famous because they use all their charms and sweet talking to manipulate good natured people.



When John was still living in Dallas I did file for a divorce, and gave him the papers to sign, he threw them away and explained to me why he didn't want the divorce, again I fell for it. I just recently found emails from his ex-wife and when he left he told her he was comming back, but told me they were divorcing before he left Germany. I just today found that info. Even when we were together he was still pulling her leg about needing to make money and become a man of himself. The very words he said to me with both of his moves. I really know which way this is going now.
[/quote]

Steady there, Nutty! Unless you've been in rdsey shoes, and I strongly suspect you haven't, I am not sure you could begin to understand the realm and enormity of the tidal wave of emotion that comes after realising that a marriage has been used by someone that is loved by the victim.

It takes time to permit the acknowledgment to sink in, and then, and only then can one begin to heal. That can't be forced, and often times the consequence of learning that one has been used, causes more damage to the self-esteem. "moving on" are words that simply augment the pain at this point. Let's be gentle.....

Some day you will get very angry at all of this. Then, at that time, you will realize what has been happening...until then, you are trying to believe all of this, but you know from a gut feeling that it doesnt make sense.

We all can be used by these people, even people who work in the field with these individuals are conned. Human predators of all kinds are excellent at cloaking their true motives and true direction.
They do this by using soft words and by never acknowledging exactly what it is that they want, or where it is that they are going, until they have achieved their objectives until it is too late to reverse their encroachment or predatory intentions.
The average human being becomes prey because they do not identify a predator quick enough. And the predator of humans in business transactions, manipulations, emotional transactions and relationships is effective because they never show their true colors. They are effective because they do not.
It is exactly like the answer I got from a herpetologist, or an expert in snakes a long time ago. The question is:
"Why is it that we are able to see a large snake crawling across an open lawn towards a bird or an animal, and not see the animal move to escape."
Perhaps instead of seeing people as good or bad, we need to begin acknowledging a third group . . . the "Tricksters." Tricksters have the appearance of goodness that enables them to take advantage of others, taking all they can get, legally or illegally. These folks live through their possessions and material wealth means a great deal to them, although they may affect a humble, self-effacing attitude. It is not the mugger in the alley or other obvious shady characters we need to fear, for we have learned their ways. Disguised with charming manners and a smiling countenance, real danger lurks in an overly solitious new acquaintance who offers friendship easily . . . and just as easily withdraws it. Tricksters have two faces - one that smiles when we are helping to further their agenda, and another that turns cold when we can no longer support their projects or need financial help ourselves.
The following identifying markers will help alert people to the presence of "Tricksters":


A. Being insecure, yet proud, they will talk badly about other people, trying to get you to agree. They recount stories of personal success, but are stingy with praise for others.

B. Most of their waking hours are consumed with schemes for making money with the least amount of effort.

C. They have few, if any, real friends. These people are afraid to get close to anyone they can't completely control, for fear their deceptive nature will be uncovered. It may seem they are offering friendship and help, but it is only a mirage, acted out to gain one's confidence. Does confidence/con-man ring a bell?

D. They are excellent self-promoters, and have an exaggerated sense of their place in the eternal plan . . . delusions of Grandeur . . . and believe their calling is above that of others.

E. Except for sarcastic wit and put-down jokes, they lack a sense of humor, and almost never laugh at themselves.

F. They concentrate great energy on presenting an image of competence. Everything is done for show and the admiration of others. Their homes feel cold and empty, even when decorated with expensive art and creative furnishings.

G. They lack the "nurturing instinct." Most of the care they provide derives from a sense of responsibility imposed by society's expectations.

H. They often live through their children, trying to mold them in their image and disregarding the child's individuality.

I. Their most miserable moments are when they are low on cash and their happiest are those spent with newly acquired possessions or money itself.

J. They have a knack for borrowing money or getting people to give them something valuable for a small down-payment and big promises.

K. They cannot brook criticism, even constructive, and their authority must never be questioned.

L. Not always, but more often than not, they are fitness oriented, as they need to maintain their image. This interest in appearing fit usually has little to do with good health. This emphasis on outward appearance may include such health destroying practices as fad diets, over-consumption of alcohol instead of food, strict starvation diets, and often bulimia.

M. They love to talk, but only listen to find personal weaknesses or flaws in those with whom they converse, which can be used to their advantage at some future time, i.e., blackmail.

N. They love to draw up and sign agreement contracts as a way to help "protect" you.

O. Believing themselves above the law, they circumvent as many regulations as possible to cut operating costs.

P. They lie, or tell half-truths, and evade direct questions.

Q. They underpay their workers, employ illegal aliens, keep employees on part-time status to avoid tax and insurance costs, and lie on their tax returns.

R. They "lure" people into money making schemes and partnerships to separate them from their money, and are adept at discarding folks who are no longer useful to them or have been sucked dry.

S. They use relatives and friends to do work they would otherwise have to pay professionals for.

T. They are cold, calculating, litigious, and rarely accept responsibility for failure. They act from their mindless ambition, seldom from their heart.

U. Spouses and children are controlled financially as well as emotionally. Their work and business are always more important than family time. Money is their first priority.

V. They are expert at blaming and putting others down to make themselves look good.

W. They are filled with fear, instead of light, and are overly concerned about security arrangements, their own well being, and naturally, their own eventual death.

X. If they own pets, they are usually expensive "show pieces," pedigreed animals, even wolf hybrids, a sad mix if ever there was one. Such animals often suffer emotional neglect, becoming either lonely, depressed, or vicious guard dogs.

Y. You can never trust them completely. They wear you out, mentally and emotionally with plans, schemes, gossip, and inside information.

Z. You can't relax around them as they are never truly happy or relaxed themselves, and always have a new "trick" or moneymaking project up their sleeves.
Not all tricksters display all of the above characteristics, but enough of them to be recognizable when we sit down to analyze their behavior. Why are we so often mesmerized by their dazzling reflections when our common sense should be flashing yellow warning lights before our eyes? Perhaps it is because these tricksters are adepts at using our own character weaknesses, manifestations of ego, and lack of suspiciousness to their own advantage. Sometimes we are just too stressed and preoccupied to listen to warning messages coming from deep within.
It is a matter of survival that we listen to the Spirit, evaluate our own motives, and use wisdom when beginning new ventures with new people. It is not character weakness or negativity on our part to check a person's references or past history before developing a relationship. Neither is it cold nor ruthless to terminate a developing relationship when we sense we are the "main course" on their menu.
Determining the source of the light that illuminates our new charismatic acquaintance's countenance is only common sense . . . something that is not so common anymore. Without the basic survival instinct of common sense, we may be lured like moths to the Trickster's moon-like brilliance and possible loss, damage or emotional destruction.

Some people stay married not because they are happy being married, but because there is a personal, relgious or cultural expectation to do so.

This is your life, and you only live it once. Do you want to do it with the weight of this marriage on your shoulders?

You know I see alot of the charastics in my husband.

There is nothing wrong with calling a con artist a con artist.

And I believe the rdsey has religious beliefs that motivated her to stay in this relationship. In spite of the fact she adknowledges she knows her husband is stringing along an ex-wife in Germany for money. That why I mention the proverbial..."god helps those..."

Considering rdsey has seen marriage counselors who advised her to leave her husband and she decided against their advice, maybe she needs some stong words about the hard facts.

There's only one strong word that I see that fits right now, and that is self-recrimination. Rdsey took the steps to report her errant husband's actions and sees that as having derived no results. I read her post as a question of her own actions. Despite having taken steps to report his wrongs, since nothing has happened as a result, she wonders if there was some larger force indicating that her suspicions were unfounded. Frankly, I think her husband is taking advantage of her. I believe in time she will come to accept it also. In the meantime, she should find comfort in knowing that her husband's immigration journey is not yet over, his file has been ammended to reflect her allegations and there is plenty of time for USCIS to throw a stone in his path. She should rest easy, knowing that she has done what she felt was right and concentrate on the healing for now.

Rd, Do me a favor; read what you have written but think of your writings as somebody's else's situation, then think back to the time before your husband made it into this country. Think about the ex-wife in Germany the correspondence u found from him and her then think about your immigration meeting where u revealed your beliefs concerning him.

Almost all of us here have an ideal of what u have been thru with the filing and waiting for his visa approval and the excitment and joy of picking up a loved one once they arrive from overseas. Some of us can even identify with u when you type about your husband being on the personal lines and having a desire to move away. ( IN THE NAME OF SEEKING BETTER PAY. )

Even your current situation, please be aware that your not alone, I too was able too identify with because I too experienced a similiar situation where this loved loved me so much when I would visit him in Nigeria but then made sure my life was unbearably miserable then turned around and blamed me as an abrusive spouse to the immigration officers. With that said, I wondering if he's choose to get here then get away from u while he awaits his statis change.

I'm glad that u have taken action , recovery from a event such as we have been thru doesen't happen over nite as many that have traveled our same journey now knows, but the mermaid is right, he will go into a immigration office at some point I just hope u filed your complaint before he thought to go with any type of scam to tell the immigration officer.

ALL THE BEST TO YOU !!!!!!!!!




AGANA I too can relate to alot of what u typed, only a very selfish person with no respect for wedding vows, or another human being can attempt to pull off such a evil scam.

dear rdsey, I hope things get better for you. You definately need to pull yourself together and GET RID OF THAT MAN FOR GOOD.. Do it because he does not deserve you.. What he deserves - he will get, sooner or later but you will not be hurt by it anymore. My wishes and prayers are with you

[font="Comic Sans MS"][/font]
Well the 1st time I went to immugrations and just happened upon an officer, she did state that alot of spouses do come in and say the other is abusive. I informed her that we were both abosive to each other. She is the one I emailed his profile from the single lines to and letters he sent to several females promising them he was going to make them his wife. There were about 7 that was rearranging their lives to spend forever with him.

It's time to rearrange yours and get the heck away from this monster.
It's time for you hon, please.....take care of you.

Continue fighting to get him deported. We don't need people like that here.

OMFG... i see SOOOO much my ex-boyfriend in thoses lines (not all of them but quite much)
Damn... that hurts ! (but enlightening somehow).. damn i feel like a dumb.
At least i had enough guts to put a stop to it and give back some of the poison given ! But imagine nicer people... how screwed it might become.
Still tho, i still have some affection for him (just in a friendly way tho.. like you got me, i got you... we're even !)

Thank you Ganja Girl !

just saw rdsey did too.....

one good thing tho.... somehow he boosted my self esteem because of his expectation in me !
stupid but that part kinda stayed aswell as beeing even more competitive than i already was (and believe me... i was !)

I'm sorry that i am taking some space in the original conversation.. but that post really shaked me up....
I need to vent it.....
i remember.... i even asked to my actual sweety at the time he was just a friend, someone i could trust to help and check on me if i wasn't going insane and to tell me if that would ever happen !

[quote name='idocare' date='Apr 16 2008, 01:19 AM' post='1759482']
Rd, Do me a favor; read what you have written but think of your writings as somebody's else's situation, then think back to the time before your husband made it into this country. Think about the ex-wife in Germany the correspondence u found from him and her then think about your immigration meeting where u revealed your beliefs concerning him.

Almost all of us here have an ideal of what u have been thru with the filing and waiting for his visa approval and the excitment and joy of picking up a loved one once they arrive from overseas. Some of us can even identify with u when you type about your husband being on the personal lines and having a desire to move away. ( IN THE NAME OF SEEKING BETTER PAY. )

Even your current situation, please be aware that your not alone, I too was able too identify with because I too experienced a similiar situation where this loved loved me so much when I would visit him in Nigeria but then made sure my life was unbearably miserable then turned around and blamed me as an abrusive spouse to the immigration officers. With that said, I wondering if he's choose to get here then get away from u while he awaits his statis change.

I'm glad that u have taken action , recovery from a event such as we have been thru doesen't happen over nite as many that have traveled our same journey now knows, but the mermaid is right, he will go into a immigration office at some point I just hope u filed your complaint before he thought to go with any type of scam to tell the immigration officer.

ALL THE BEST TO YOU !!!!!!!!!




AGANA I too can relate to alot of what u typed, only a very selfish person with no respect for wedding vows, or another human being can attempt to pull off such a evil scam.
[/quote
i have been away for a while but wanted to respond to statement.
My husband is smart enough to go to immugrations to make a story he would wait until we were there together, they show him his wrong doings then he will try to concor something up about me. It happened with his attonery. After I showed her his dirt he stated he had dirt and could bring it to her later that was several months ago and she hadn't heard from him.
His work perment and gc has expired and wanted to know what he needed to do so he asked fopr my help and stated if he needed to be here to do it he would probally just move back see thats how he tries to be smart. He think he might need to face immugrations to renew his cards so he would move back. I told him he didn;t need to I was doing fine all by myself and although we are still legally married I look at our marriage like he does it dont exist.
I have somewhat moved on with my life and after removal of conditions the only way he would get it will be alone. I did inform him I will be there and I will also inform immugrations that he lived like he was single.
I did loose our baby he lived for 7 hours. It hurted me so if I can find something postive out of it, it would be I wont have to raise my child as a single parent and even if he helped it would only mean he would still be in my life. Every thing happens for a reason. Oh by the way he is in NY making less than in texas. he has received 4 tickets so far he was in an accident, his car broke down twice, his car was towed away because he blocked a roommate in, the landlord had nothing positive to say about him so she put him out and did I mention he makes less now than in texas he makes $8.00 an hour in NY this comes from not lining up his plans with God and he was out of line with his marriage

Thanks for getting back to us. First, I'm so sorry about your baby. Big Hugs!! Secondly, I think you're finally seeing him for what he really is, and I know that doing that, hurts you very much. You mentioned his GC expired, and he's not living with you, so basically, he'll be applying for conditions to be lifted on his own, and is probably working illegally now anyway. I'd stay as far away as possible from him. This information at the lawyers, is this a divorce lawyer? There should not be any reason why you'd both be at immigration together anyway, since you've said you're not sponsoring him in lifting of conditions. I'm glad you've moved on. All the best in the future.

Yes this was the immugration lawyer. This was back before he moved to NY. She wanted to tlk to both of us about our sitution. She explained to him how his case looks messy and she said we had until 09 before the removal of conditions I state then and now I will attend because I dont want him to lie to get his status. I want to state my side.
I saw him for what he was but ddn't want to first because before we got married people were already saying he was going to do it but it was because they knew someone that had gone through it or because it was so comon for them to marry only for status so I didnt want to say they were right, second I really loved him, I still do but its weaken each day I think about what he put me and my children through, third the divorce rate is so high with african americans that sometime I feel like its expected to divorce, be a single parent or a low life dad and I didn't want to be in the list so I can with out a doubt say I worked hard to make this marriage work.

Wow, I just read your story, and I am sorry for what you have been through. I can see that you are on the right track now, and are not going to be taken advantage of any more. He is a user, and you are a nice lady. You deserve more, and when the time is right you will have it. I must admit that I am laught my A$$ off at all of the things that have happened to him. He couldn't be more deserving...lol

But for now remain strong and give him back what he deserves.

I'm sorry to hear about your baby ...but I do sincerely believe that God (in whatever form you believe him in) has a plan for everything. He is merciful and knew that the stress of your marriage and new baby would be too much on you. I believe in angels...and the Lord has given you one.

Be blessed and may you know peace.

Staashi

My thoughts are with you.

You are not a statistic you are someone who opened their arms to the possiblity of love.

Wow, what a story and I am SO PROUD OF YOU. I don't know you but reading how you have become strong in your resolve has been positively uplifting. You are really an inspiration to a lot of women out there. I'm terribly sorry about the baby, but like stated above things happen for a reason...and it seems that you have gained a lot of strength from all that you went through.


I was also laughing my a$$ off at all that has happened to him since he left you and moved to NY. Karma does come around!

Thank all who have helped me through this I know at times it didn't seem like I was hearing but I was.
I have taken all comments weather good or bad to heart.
I pray thay what I went through will indeed help someone like many of you have helped me.
Rashell

What a story. I feel for you, Rdsey.
You keep saying that you were working hard to save marriage. But in reality, you did everything to end marriage. Because when you reported on him to CIS-means you wanted him deported and be out of marriage.
I think what you did was a right thing. That con artist should be deported-it seams so clear that he just used you as a GC vehicle.
So, your actions were right, but brain/emotions kept saying that you have to save marriage (which is difficult even to call a marraige-him being away to make more money is ok but to be on singles sites, promiss to be back to ex wife...there is no excuses. Plus, he does not really makes more money while away).
Strong case of "power of denial" here. You dont need him. He does not deserve your love.
Just think-what do you get from him? Pain, expence, effort...I am sure you deserve to be happy and loved/cared back.

Whoa! I have read your story, and am saddened by what you have gone through. Continue to stay strong, and always ask your Higher Power for strength to endure.

Boaz

Well I didn't try to end the marriage if you look at my old fourms you will see how long it took for me to do any thing about my marriage. There were many times I sat in front of immugrations debating about turning him in. I would call him on the cell and asked him how much he loved me or if he wanted to be married to me. When he stated he did I would drive away. I dont think it would be easy for anyone surely emotions are involved it was with me. If I had my choice I would be happy with my husband but I to had to read and reread my fourm and the replies. I would even read it like it was someone else that also helped me to say no I need to move on. So going back to your statement about wanting him deployed that is the last thing I want for him or any one else.

Oh honey, it is always hard when we are deceived. I have followed your story and I can see you tried. What I wish for you is the possibility to move on and start again. I suspect it will be some time.

In the mean time my thoughts are with you.

Oh, I am sorry, RDsey. I have not read your old forums. But I understand what you went through. And reporting him to CIS is right in this situation-it does not look like he wanted to have a family with you and just plainly kept brainwashing you and played with your feelings. I just hate con artists personality. Because if he would take a risk and openly say that he does not feel that he wants to continue marriage-I would say it is wrong to report to CIS (even if he lived with you only a few weeks-sometimes it might be enough). But he kept abusing your feeling-this is wrong. You dont need that person. He might not be a "really" bad broke but he does not care about you a damn. I know it takes time to realize it (hope is dying the last) but once you know-think if he does not care, why you should?
I wish you heal fast

Dear Sans:

You repeat everything. Nothing has changed and your husband is still a jerk who is using you.

Advice: Keep written records of every time you call immigration about reporting your husband for immigration fraud.

Write down:
Date of call
Time of call
Name of Immigration representative you speak to
What you speak about

Later, if the government comes knocking on your door for money to pay for this husband, you can say to them, "Hey I reported this to you and here is a record of my contacting you and trying to get some action from you."

Best of luck.

[font="Comic Sans MS"]Thanks alot I will do that, I dont want to held responsible for any dirt that he does[/font]

The only way Rdsey is not responsible for spousal support if I-751 is denied and he does not find other way to stay. Because he is deportable only if they prove that marriage was a fraud. If there is not enough proof for bona fide, hes I-751 might be denied but he still can get adjudicated through other marriage, work, etc.
But even if his immigration status has no bearings on divorce court. He can sue for alimony even if CIS decided that marriage is not bona fide.

Rdsey,

I just read your story and I am so sorry that you are going through this. The process it takes to bring your loved one here is so arduous, time consuming, financially straining, emotionally draining, etc.... When you go through so much, its hard to think about cutting losses, so I understand where your confusion lies.

The decision is yours to make....I just ask that you think about you and do right by yourself because no one else will.

Good luck, mama.

Rdsey,
You have signed affidevit of support when sent package for conditional GC. It means that you must take care of financial needs of your husband till he becomes citizen or leaves US permanetly-even if divorced. But it pretty much about paying gov back if he goes on wellfare or somekind gov assistance. It is gov protection that new immigrants would not become a public charge (become supported by gov). However, it is rarely inforced. And I doubt that he would fire a goog lawyer to get some money from you based on affidevit of support.
Alimony is a different story. Divorce and alimony has nothing to do with immigration. So, if immigration has decided that marriage was not bona fide and denied his I-751 with waiver, for family court the marriage is bona fide and regular rules apply. So, if his I-751 is denied (but it does not look that the grounds for denial will be marriage fraud-most probably it will be that he has failed to prove that marriage was bona fide; if denied based on fraud-he is deportable; if not enough proof that marraige was bona fide-he is denied but can start all over with new wife/through work) and he does not live country, he might ask for alimony in family court.
Anyway, you should not worry about it. Looks like he just wanted GC. I would bet that he would want a quick divorce without strings attached. From your story, he is not that malicious. I guess he became amoral user because whenever he is from life is too tough. I would say, forget about him and move on. There is no excuse for using you/playing on your feeling to such extend. There had to be a way not to hurt you so much and tell truth. He just cannot take risk by telling you the truth-he prefered to torture you instead of a chance to hear that you take it to CIS.