tomorrow all the tests start....thanks for all your kindness...its helped me chill...my asthma has roared back real bad from stress...but I think its more from a snotty cold...I did get my husbands ticket...hes flying united but he seems more focused on his transit visa and his stuff than on me...He asked for the beginning of May.....Im driving myself to and from stuff alone which sucks ...Ive decided to roll the dice and have the amnio and continue with the pregnancy even if its bad cause maktoob is stronger than me....and its just what I need to do..
Love you guys
Im feeling romantic this morning watching mopey clips on youtube....
scent of a woman
Full Version: tomorrow and maktoob(destiny in arabic)
I still have you in my prayers Wahrania. God bless you!
Tasha
Tasha
QUOTE(t and a @ Apr 14 2008, 07:50 AM) 
I still have you in my prayers Wahrania. God bless you!
Tasha
Tasha
t and a do you remember this song by meredith brooks....Im a ######? From1998....lol..Im trying to cheer myself up and get pumped
Wahrania,
Just think....in a few weeks you will no longer be alone! Everything is gonna be ok, girl! No one ever said life is fair, but you have a very big God on your side .
Just think....in a few weeks you will no longer be alone! Everything is gonna be ok, girl! No one ever said life is fair, but you have a very big God on your side .
Insha'allah everything will be fine 
You are in the hands of God and also in a place with some of the best medical care in the world.
But your husband will be here in just a couple of weeks
-- did you clean out a space in the closet for his stuff yet ????????? 
Thoughts and prayers (and lots of MENA mojo) to carry you and the baby through safely.
-MK
You are in the hands of God and also in a place with some of the best medical care in the world.But your husband will be here in just a couple of weeks
-- did you clean out a space in the closet for his stuff yet ????????? Thoughts and prayers (and lots of MENA mojo) to carry you and the baby through safely.
-MK
I remember that song soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo well!!!! I think I lived it the majority of my pregnancy!!!!!! My SO should be thankful he wasn't here most of the time!!!!!!!!! I probably would have ran him home really fast! Thanks for the laugh.
QUOTE(t and a @ Apr 14 2008, 09:54 AM)
I remember that song soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo well!!!! I think I lived it the majority of my pregnancy!!!!!! My SO should be thankful he wasn't here most of the time!!!!!!!!! I probably would have ran him home really fast! Thanks for the laugh.he just postponed his trip 11 more days till our anniversary 16 may
QUOTE(wife_of_mahmoud @ Apr 14 2008, 09:46 AM)
Insha'allah everything will be fine You are in the hands of God and also in a place with some of the best medical care in the world.
But your husband will be here in just a couple of weeks -- did you clean out a space in the closet for his stuff yet ?????????
Thoughts and prayers (and lots of MENA mojo) to carry you and the baby through safely.
-MK
You are in the hands of God and also in a place with some of the best medical care in the world.But your husband will be here in just a couple of weeks
-- did you clean out a space in the closet for his stuff yet ????????? Thoughts and prayers (and lots of MENA mojo) to carry you and the baby through safely.
-MK
no.......
he can help do it when he gets here
Maybe it is best. You would not want him here if he isn't ready. He may become angry or depressed and have regrets about things that he left undone back home if he were to come to you now. And you would not want that on top of all the rest of your problems to deal with. Try to see some good in his decision, however painful it may be to you that he is delaying this.
However things work out, there is a reason like Nagi said - you are both going through a stressful time in your lives but always remember your love for each other and don't despair... I have been praying that everything will be allright with your baby... I think it is best that you are having the tests though some may disagree - you will be prepared at worst if your baby has Down's and at best your fears wil be allayed - you have enough stress right now to have the 'what ifs' gnawing away at you.
I'll be thinking of you tomorrow Wahrania. Let us know how it goes. and TRY not to be too hard on your husband, this is a stressful time for him too leaving his family and his life behind. Have faith and be patient and know that things will work out as they are supposed to.
((((hugs))))
((((hugs))))
QUOTE(sara535 @ Apr 14 2008, 11:14 AM)
I'll be thinking of you tomorrow Wahrania. Let us know how it goes. and TRY not to be too hard on your husband, this is a stressful time for him too leaving his family and his life behind. Have faith and be patient and know that things will work out as they are supposed to.
((((hugs))))
((((hugs))))
He just told me he needs more time for his transit visa and his interview for the transit visa is not till may 13...and so that means he wont be here till lamost june...I dont feel like he loves me or is making me and the baby first..my health is failing....im having problems with the pregnancy and that another 2 months alone unnecessarly to see his mom who he can fly back and see after he has his card...and in the meanwhile im over the edge
QUOTE(wahrania @ Apr 14 2008, 03:43 PM)
He just told me he needs more time for his transit visa and his interview for the transit visa is not till may 13...and so that means he wont be here till lamost june...I dont feel like he loves me or is making me and the baby first..my health is failing....im having problems with the pregnancy and that another 2 months alone unnecessarly to see his mom who he can fly back and see after he has his card...and in the meanwhile im over the edge
i'm so sorry, Wahrania.
i am glad though, that you are going through with the tests and trying to take care of yourself. Inchallah, you will have good news tomorrow and you and the baby will be in good health.
i understand the pain in the ### of getting a transit visa for France. it happens and it is a whole lot of unnecessary red tape for most Francophone African countries.
these are my questions:
is it absolutely necessary that he travels through France? are there no flights that go through Spain, UK, or Belgium?
has he not seen his mother in a long, long time, is that why he is choosing to go to France?
have you discussed the possibility of applying for advanced parole once he gets here so he can then travel to see his mother a little later?
i'm sorry all this is happening at once, but i really hope it works out and you have all our prayers.
take care
hz
QUOTE(AlHayatZween @ Apr 14 2008, 12:49 PM)
QUOTE(wahrania @ Apr 14 2008, 03:43 PM)
He just told me he needs more time for his transit visa and his interview for the transit visa is not till may 13...and so that means he wont be here till lamost june...I dont feel like he loves me or is making me and the baby first..my health is failing....im having problems with the pregnancy and that another 2 months alone unnecessarly to see his mom who he can fly back and see after he has his card...and in the meanwhile im over the edge
i'm so sorry, Wahrania.
i am glad though, that you are going through with the tests and trying to take care of yourself. Inchallah, you will have good news tomorrow and you and the baby will be in good health.
i understand the pain in the ### of getting a transit visa for France. it happens and it is a whole lot of unnecessary red tape for most Francophone African countries.
these are my questions:
is it absolutely necessary that he travels through France? are there no flights that go through Spain, UK, or Belgium?
has he not seen his mother in a long, long time, is that why he is choosing to go to France?
have you discussed the possibility of applying for advanced parole once he gets here so he can then travel to see his mother a little later?
i'm sorry all this is happening at once, but i really hope it works out and you have all our prayers.
take care
hz
QUOTE(AlHayatZween @ Apr 14 2008, 12:49 PM)
QUOTE(wahrania @ Apr 14 2008, 03:43 PM)
He just told me he needs more time for his transit visa and his interview for the transit visa is not till may 13...and so that means he wont be here till lamost june...I dont feel like he loves me or is making me and the baby first..my health is failing....im having problems with the pregnancy and that another 2 months alone unnecessarly to see his mom who he can fly back and see after he has his card...and in the meanwhile im over the edge
i'm so sorry, Wahrania.
i am glad though, that you are going through with the tests and trying to take care of yourself. Inchallah, you will have good news tomorrow and you and the baby will be in good health.
i understand the pain in the ### of getting a transit visa for France. it happens and it is a whole lot of unnecessary red tape for most Francophone African countries.
these are my questions:
is it absolutely necessary that he travels through France? are there no flights that go through Spain, UK, or Belgium?
has he not seen his mother in a long, long time, is that why he is choosing to go to France?
have you discussed the possibility of applying for advanced parole once he gets here so he can then travel to see his mother a little later?
i'm sorry all this is happening at once, but i really hope it works out and you have all our prayers.
take care
hz
I have.I think its really on her too.I will be 6 months pregnant at that point and frankly I think Ijust cracked up today..Im just tired and sad.I told him I dont care about seeing him in the net .I dont care about him calling me. Either he gets his ### to me or just leave me the hell alone..I need freaking help right now..The expedite was to get hhere faster and be with me not sightsee and dilly dally...and he didnt even bother to check out transit visas and how long they take till after he told me to pay for rooms and buy the ticket..now Im spending and spending...to change tickets....cancel hotels..all so he can see his mom....and Im the only one put through hell and im the one who needs help the most right now wallahi....so i have to go through everything alone and all they think about is them
QUOTE(wahrania @ Apr 14 2008, 05:05 PM)
his mom lives in france...He doesnt need advance parole.He will have a greencard..Neither he nor his mother is thinking about me at this point...I have been really patient..I am now completely cracking..He is insisting on seeing her before he comes and the interview will not be until May 13.I am booking the ticket with miles and every change is 60 dollars .I now had to change it again...now for June 11th is the first availability.He asked me to book hotel rooms...I did it..I did the ticket..He never ever confirmed or did the hard work to get his visa and the embassy is in town.Im over here asthmatic,now facing amnios with no one to drive me and another 2 months alone while he caters to his mom.For gods sake he could fly back and see her in the fall...what this is doing to me mentally iscrushing me..He cant wait 5 months?So of course I understand but I am seething inside.Seething because I am really alone,struggling,driving alone to appointments..and I feel like I am stuck with the bill and I am mad...but trying to be patient and my patience has completely evaporated...
From what you have written, you have a right to be mad... i'd be "seething", too.
Just do your best to take care of you. One thing at a time. Find a way to your doctor, get your tests done, and then on to the next thing.
i'm sorry he keeps changing the ticket and costing you $$. i really hope that you can communicate all this to him.
Aww Wahrania 
This plain sucks
Inshalla all will go well at your appointment and may allah give you the patience and strength to handle this. Take care of yourself.
This plain sucks Inshalla all will go well at your appointment and may allah give you the patience and strength to handle this. Take care of yourself.
QUOTE(AlHayatZween @ Apr 14 2008, 01:20 PM)
QUOTE(wahrania @ Apr 14 2008, 05:05 PM)
his mom lives in france...He doesnt need advance parole.He will have a greencard..Neither he nor his mother is thinking about me at this point...I have been really patient..I am now completely cracking..He is insisting on seeing her before he comes and the interview will not be until May 13.I am booking the ticket with miles and every change is 60 dollars .I now had to change it again...now for June 11th is the first availability.He asked me to book hotel rooms...I did it..I did the ticket..He never ever confirmed or did the hard work to get his visa and the embassy is in town.Im over here asthmatic,now facing amnios with no one to drive me and another 2 months alone while he caters to his mom.For gods sake he could fly back and see her in the fall...what this is doing to me mentally iscrushing me..He cant wait 5 months?So of course I understand but I am seething inside.Seething because I am really alone,struggling,driving alone to appointments..and I feel like I am stuck with the bill and I am mad...but trying to be patient and my patience has completely evaporated...
From what you have written, you have a right to be mad... i'd be "seething", too.
Just do your best to take care of you. One thing at a time. Find a way to your doctor, get your tests done, and then on to the next thing.
i'm sorry he keeps changing the ticket and costing you $$. i really hope that you can communicate all this to him.
i just cant stop crying.............the. tears flow like water...
QUOTE(wahrania @ Apr 14 2008, 12:55 PM)
QUOTE(AlHayatZween @ Apr 14 2008, 01:20 PM)
QUOTE(wahrania @ Apr 14 2008, 05:05 PM)
his mom lives in france...He doesnt need advance parole.He will have a greencard..Neither he nor his mother is thinking about me at this point...I have been really patient..I am now completely cracking..He is insisting on seeing her before he comes and the interview will not be until May 13.I am booking the ticket with miles and every change is 60 dollars .I now had to change it again...now for June 11th is the first availability.He asked me to book hotel rooms...I did it..I did the ticket..He never ever confirmed or did the hard work to get his visa and the embassy is in town.Im over here asthmatic,now facing amnios with no one to drive me and another 2 months alone while he caters to his mom.For gods sake he could fly back and see her in the fall...what this is doing to me mentally iscrushing me..He cant wait 5 months?So of course I understand but I am seething inside.Seething because I am really alone,struggling,driving alone to appointments..and I feel like I am stuck with the bill and I am mad...but trying to be patient and my patience has completely evaporated...
From what you have written, you have a right to be mad... i'd be "seething", too.
Just do your best to take care of you. One thing at a time. Find a way to your doctor, get your tests done, and then on to the next thing.
i'm sorry he keeps changing the ticket and costing you $$. i really hope that you can communicate all this to him.
i just cant stop crying.............the. tears flow like water...
>:D< 
I would be mad as hell too - you need his help now, not his mom.... I can't understand his logic...you have waited so long and done so much to get the expedite and now he is dragging his azz...I could maybe understand if money was really an issue and it would be more expensive for him to go back to France from FL in the fall but it sounds like it will cost the same either way, if he goes now or goes then... you are suffering and you are his wife, you are carrying his BABY.... The new date is 2 months from now - why get the expedite if it is taking this long anyway???
QUOTE(Pattu Rani @ Apr 14 2008, 02:18 PM)
I would be mad as hell too - you need his help now, not his mom.... I can't understand his logic...you have waited so long and done so much to get the expedite and now he is dragging his azz...I could maybe understand if money was really an issue and it would be more expensive for him to go back to France from FL in the fall but it sounds like it will cost the same either way, if he goes now or goes then... you are suffering and you are his wife, you are carrying his BABY.... The new date is 2 months from now - why get the expedite if it is taking this long anyway???
Exactly...and his mom and him are so close...whats pissing me off is he is there and could probably have done this sooner(make the france transit visa)He waits till today with our ticket at may 5th and screws around then yesterday tells me to book a hotel for him for 2 days (which im glad i did on hotels.com because they dont have a cancellation fee even when you pay...but the airlines is another story....I just am very angry at him and his mother because neither of them are realising what is really going on with me and all of this..I struggle to get the expedite and all he can think about is seeing her...which i understand..but he isnt fighting to make things easier on me...Im facing all these tests alone...im not supposed to drive tomorrow....i have no help with the girl..no emotional support..and im just at my limit for catering to him...i feel like if he really loved me i would be the first thing he thoughht about....but I am not..she is...and its a mommy thing...and she I am sure could tell him honey come in october..If i was his mom...I could wait 5 more months and keep my dil calm....not throw me up against the wall while they sight see...IM TOAST
QUOTE(wahrania @ Apr 14 2008, 02:41 PM)
QUOTE(Pattu Rani @ Apr 14 2008, 02:18 PM)
I would be mad as hell too - you need his help now, not his mom.... I can't understand his logic...you have waited so long and done so much to get the expedite and now he is dragging his azz...I could maybe understand if money was really an issue and it would be more expensive for him to go back to France from FL in the fall but it sounds like it will cost the same either way, if he goes now or goes then... you are suffering and you are his wife, you are carrying his BABY.... The new date is 2 months from now - why get the expedite if it is taking this long anyway???
Exactly...and his mom and him are so close...whats pissing me off is he is there and could probably have done this sooner(make the france transit visa)He waits till today with our ticket at may 5th and screws around then yesterday tells me to book a hotel for him for 2 days (which im glad i did on hotels.com because they dont have a cancellation fee even when you pay...but the airlines is another story....I just am very angry at him and his mother because neither of them are realising what is really going on with me and all of this..I struggle to get the expedite and all he can think about is seeing her...which i understand..but he isnt fighting to make things easier on me...Im facing all these tests alone...im not supposed to drive tomorrow....i have no help with the girl..no emotional support..and im just at my limit for catering to him...i feel like if he really loved me i would be the first thing he thoughht about....but I am not..she is...and its a mommy thing...and she I am sure could tell him honey come in october..If i was his mom...I could wait 5 more months and keep my dil calm....not throw me up against the wall while they sight see...IM TOAST
Exactly...I wish I could be down there and help you out... How close are you to your MIL? You'd think SHE would understand your situation better than anyone...
i really dont know what to say!! its sad he cant see how much u need him!!! im so sorry .... forcus on YOU and only YOU!!! insha Allah everything will be ok and u will handle it !!! masha Allah u re strong and u will pull thru this! HUGS ...
You have every right in the world to be pizzed! He is taking you completely for granted and its not cool at all. If he cared about you at ALL he would at least pay the fees for cancellations and pay for his own dang hotel for visiting his mother. I'm sorry but you have put up with wayyyyyyyyyy more than I would have. I'dda told mine to kiss it where the sun don't shine and sure, go se mom but u be here by the original date or NOTHING. I would make it known that he could visit her after he got his green card but you need him first! is his mother in failing health? if not... give him the "what for" and don't back down. Of course, don't change whats been done thus far coz it will just cause problems and resentment BUT for the love of goodness, don't change anything for him again! PERIOD!
p.s. if u do change stuff again...well...I still love ya anyway!
amal
p.s. if u do change stuff again...well...I still love ya anyway!
amal
If I were you, I would tell him he can do what he wants if he pays for his own tickets and hotel. In muslim culture it is the duty of the man to support his wife, not the other way around. He knows this and I feel like he is taking advantage of you. It is fine to pay a ticket if he is short on money and he will fly directly here. It is another thing to demand this much of you.
Please, take care of yourself and the baby. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I will keep you in my prayers.
Please, take care of yourself and the baby. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I will keep you in my prayers.
im sorry for what ur going thru. really ur husband hasnt seen his mom in 5 years so why all of a sudden does he need to see her now? not to put any stress on u at this sensitive time but u should be watching out for the red flags u have warned so many others about here.
[quote name='S and S' date='Apr 14 2008, 05:44 PM' post='1754802']
If I were you, I would tell him he can do what he wants if he pays for his own tickets and hotel. In muslim culture it is the duty of the man to support his wife, not the other way around. He knows this and I feel like he is taking advantage of you. It is fine to pay a ticket if he is short on money and he will fly directly here. It is another thing to demand this much of you.
I have so much I want to say right now ... to all of you. I am just thinking I should sit tight and let today and the next 2 days play out. I agree with you S and S... I agree and I am hurting because I know what I would tell myself to do at this point and its sad.... Tomorrow I will have hard things to deal with
If I were you, I would tell him he can do what he wants if he pays for his own tickets and hotel. In muslim culture it is the duty of the man to support his wife, not the other way around. He knows this and I feel like he is taking advantage of you. It is fine to pay a ticket if he is short on money and he will fly directly here. It is another thing to demand this much of you.
I have so much I want to say right now ... to all of you. I am just thinking I should sit tight and let today and the next 2 days play out. I agree with you S and S... I agree and I am hurting because I know what I would tell myself to do at this point and its sad.... Tomorrow I will have hard things to deal with
oh man wahrania.... i'm disappointed for you! all the things you post PLUS this? *hugs* too much drama!
good luck tomorrow.
good luck tomorrow.
QUOTE(Donna A @ Apr 14 2008, 06:01 PM)
im sorry for what ur going thru. really ur husband hasnt seen his mom in 5 years so why all of a sudden does he need to see her now? not to put any stress on u at this sensitive time but u should be watching out for the red flags u have warned so many others about here.
I agree....Completely....I am afraid I will do something very fast to protect myselfbecause wallahi I know....and I am ready to overreact like you cannot imagine....more stuff has happened today and I am quietly melting down
just be careful and take care of urself and the little on inside u. i know this is a very difficult pregnancey for u with the asthma making things worse but maybe thats a sign that this baby is a fighter already and everything will be ok with ur tests tomarrow. deal with the husband later but the baby now!!! good luck.
Good luck today Wahriana! 
Take care of yourself and the baby and inshalla everything will be fine
Take care of yourself and the baby and inshalla everything will be fine
Wahrania, you and your baby are in my thoughts and prayers through all of this.
Hello Wahrania,
You are in my thoughts and prayers too girl, take things one step at a time, and think of ways that you can relax and make yourself and the baby comfortable and under less stress. I know that you are very disappointed right now that your husband is stopping/delaying/costing, etc., etc. to see his Mom, I would feel the same.
Ritesh and I have had many many many conversations about the role of mothers/sons in India, and I get the feeling it is the same in Morocco - he thinks of us equally in his heart and tries very hard to ensure that we are both happy, which of course is NOT always possible, and usually puts him under a great deal of stress trying to makes amends with one or the other. I am not trying to make excuses for your husband, but I can imagine he has NO clue how much stress and pressure you are under right now (I think it is very hard for men to imagine that from such a long distance!) and I hope that you are able to communicate with him in a way that causes the least amount of stress for you!
Are there any volunteer groups in your area which could help you right now? I am sure there must be people who would be willing to drive you to appointments or take care of your daughter for a bit while you have time to unwind, etc. I remember reading on one of the threads that you are in FLA, I just can't remember exactly where?
Please let us know how things are, how the tests were, etc. Much love to you from India!
C
You are in my thoughts and prayers too girl, take things one step at a time, and think of ways that you can relax and make yourself and the baby comfortable and under less stress. I know that you are very disappointed right now that your husband is stopping/delaying/costing, etc., etc. to see his Mom, I would feel the same.
Ritesh and I have had many many many conversations about the role of mothers/sons in India, and I get the feeling it is the same in Morocco - he thinks of us equally in his heart and tries very hard to ensure that we are both happy, which of course is NOT always possible, and usually puts him under a great deal of stress trying to makes amends with one or the other. I am not trying to make excuses for your husband, but I can imagine he has NO clue how much stress and pressure you are under right now (I think it is very hard for men to imagine that from such a long distance!) and I hope that you are able to communicate with him in a way that causes the least amount of stress for you!
Are there any volunteer groups in your area which could help you right now? I am sure there must be people who would be willing to drive you to appointments or take care of your daughter for a bit while you have time to unwind, etc. I remember reading on one of the threads that you are in FLA, I just can't remember exactly where?
Please let us know how things are, how the tests were, etc. Much love to you from India!
C
QUOTE(CarolynRitesh @ Apr 15 2008, 12:57 PM)
Hello Wahrania,
You are in my thoughts and prayers too girl, take things one step at a time, and think of ways that you can relax and make yourself and the baby comfortable and under less stress. I know that you are very disappointed right now that your husband is stopping/delaying/costing, etc., etc. to see his Mom, I would feel the same.
Ritesh and I have had many many many conversations about the role of mothers/sons in India, and I get the feeling it is the same in Morocco - he thinks of us equally in his heart and tries very hard to ensure that we are both happy, which of course is NOT always possible, and usually puts him under a great deal of stress trying to makes amends with one or the other. I am not trying to make excuses for your husband, but I can imagine he has NO clue how much stress and pressure you are under right now (I think it is very hard for men to imagine that from such a long distance!) and I hope that you are able to communicate with him in a way that causes the least amount of stress for you!
Are there any volunteer groups in your area which could help you right now? I am sure there must be people who would be willing to drive you to appointments or take care of your daughter for a bit while you have time to unwind, etc. I remember reading on one of the threads that you are in FLA, I just can't remember exactly where?
Please let us know how things are, how the tests were, etc. Much love to you from India!
amnio done.............waiting for results.......im having a boy according to the ultrasound.............im tired
You are in my thoughts and prayers too girl, take things one step at a time, and think of ways that you can relax and make yourself and the baby comfortable and under less stress. I know that you are very disappointed right now that your husband is stopping/delaying/costing, etc., etc. to see his Mom, I would feel the same.
Ritesh and I have had many many many conversations about the role of mothers/sons in India, and I get the feeling it is the same in Morocco - he thinks of us equally in his heart and tries very hard to ensure that we are both happy, which of course is NOT always possible, and usually puts him under a great deal of stress trying to makes amends with one or the other. I am not trying to make excuses for your husband, but I can imagine he has NO clue how much stress and pressure you are under right now (I think it is very hard for men to imagine that from such a long distance!) and I hope that you are able to communicate with him in a way that causes the least amount of stress for you!
Are there any volunteer groups in your area which could help you right now? I am sure there must be people who would be willing to drive you to appointments or take care of your daughter for a bit while you have time to unwind, etc. I remember reading on one of the threads that you are in FLA, I just can't remember exactly where?
Please let us know how things are, how the tests were, etc. Much love to you from India!
amnio done.............waiting for results.......im having a boy according to the ultrasound.............im tired
Keep us informed Wahrania we are all concerned for you. I hope you get to feeling better.
"amnio done.............waiting for results.......im having a boy according to the ultrasound.............im tired"
I think I caught this at the bottom of your last post. Inshallah the results come back that everything is fine. Take care of yourself, my prayers and thoughts are with you.
I think I caught this at the bottom of your last post. Inshallah the results come back that everything is fine. Take care of yourself, my prayers and thoughts are with you.
I am sorry he is putting you through this stress, Wahrania. {{{{hugs}}}
Meriem
Meriem
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