Hi!

I got my 10 year GC 2 months ago, been married for 3 yrs and 4 months, but unfortunately need to file divorce. Our marriage was over a long time ago but we stayed married because he wanted to help me get my GC. Financially, we both started at the same income level before we got married, but I've worked my way up since and have out-earned him in the last 3 years. I've also supported him financially to help him out over the last 3 years, voluntarily.

My problem is that now that I want to get a divorce because I found someone else who I'm in love with, he wants me to continue paying him spousal support to pay off his car. My question is, does he have any right to spousal support even if he is working and considering that he also signed the I-864 basically promising the federal gov't. that he would be supporting me for 125% above poverty level?

I don't want to ask anything from him, and I just want to move on with my life, and I've done my research too about how the I-864's has been upheld in courts and was wondering if I can use this against him to not have to pay spousal support.

Any thoughts?

Thanks and I really appreciate it.

His requirement under the Affidavit of Support is to make sure YOU, the alien, lives at a threshhold above the poverty guideline of 125% of the poverty level published in the Federal Register. If you have been supporting him and out-earning him by three times his wage, he has no obligation for your support. On the other hand, if he has been accustomed to a certain lifestyle as a result of your joint earnings, and you wish to divorce, if that rendered his standard of living below that to which he has becomes accustomed, then it would be only fair that the courts should award temporary spousal support to him. Why can't you see the unfairness in your thinking. He was willing to oblige himself to the government for your benefit, and yet you, who has gained a GC in the process, are not even willing to do what is considered reasonable in return? Talk about selfish!

I'm sorry I forgot 1 detail....I did offer to continue giving him spousal support for another 12 months at 1/2 of what I used to give him, but he insists on the whole thing for as long as he wants it. I think too that that's going too far. My argument is that since he had promised to support me in the affidavit, that the courts shouldn't award him anything because he's supposed to be able to support me and himself. He has a job, and I work too, but I don't understand why I have to work 2 jobs to support me and him, while he only has 1. where is the fairness in that?

I would consult a family lawyer with that!

Sounds like you need a good lawyer to get out of that one!

I would work out a deal with him and make sure you get it in writing by a good divorce attorney. My concern for you is that you are writing about divorce just 2 months after getting the green card and you state you stayed together just so you could get that green card. It's now out there and whoever wants to has access to this to use against you. It almost sounds like visa fraud. If you are like me, what I write on here is not usually the only person I have told some of my secrets to.

Thus, I would work it out without a lot of legalities for fear he may one day use this against you. I would definately not let him walk all over me and black mail me; but I would try and give in to some demands to work out an amicable divorce. I think it is in your best interest.

Well let's look at the logic for a moment. He can't support himself without your help (although I have a difficult time understanding how two married people talk about "I do this for him, he does that for me"...where is the "we earn, we spend"?) but I digress. You and he don't determine what is equitable in terms of the dissolution of the marriage. The court does. If you were not to provide him with this so-called 'spousal support' (I have no idea why you are doing that now, since you are still married) how does that have anything to do with the I-864. He made a promise with the government to make sure you were not a drain on the federal government. By your own admission you're not. So what more is there for him to do? Clearly you do not need his aid or support, but it appears he does yours.

If you are in the state of California and you have a marriage of less than 10 years, spousal support is generally awarded for 1/2 the length of the marriage time. The length of time of marriage is considered from the wedding date to the day of separation. In California for a marriage of 40 months the spousal support would be awarded for 20 months. There can be mitigating circumstances that can permit the spousal support to last longer or shorter than 1/2 the length of the time of the marriage. It would be best to get counsel from an experienced family law attorney ($$$).

If you have been separated from him for some time, in your divorce papers filed with the court make sure you put in writing the date of separation.


If you are not from California check with a competent family law attorney to determine the best course of action.

Sorry no offense but the story kinda sounds like you "bought" your GC and now stuck with the bill.

No, I'm in Ohio. And to answer "HappyOne"'s posting, no, it wasn't. It started out romantically, and ended as friendship.

If that's the case, then why are you not willing to help your friend, financially? It seems you remained in the marriage long enough to gain PR, why is it now you are not inclined to acknowledge what a court might offer to him as a consequence of the length of time you both remained married?


What spousal support are you referring to? Do you mean you were willing to continue to contribute your earnings to the marriage, only you want to cut a deal with him and only pay 50% of what you earn now that you are separated?

I'm sorry DM, but how long do you think should I continue giving him support? I just told you that I offered to help him out for another 12 months. Are you saying that I should be paying him for the rest of my life? I think that's taking this way too far. He's a friend, but even if you had a friend who needed your assistance, I think there should be a limit, don't you think?

chloe,

He may be a friend, but he's also a husband, and the courts have certain protocol that is used to determine how to divide up the marital estate. I realise you think it might be a burden, but it would appear to me that if the marriage resorted to simple freindship some time ago, you could have been in a much worse positin had he been determined to cut his losses earlier. Don't you think?

I don't think any of us here will be able to tell you what you are obligated to do or not. Only a court will do that. I'd go to a lawyer and ask him about spousal support. You haven't been married THAT long and your husband is working too I guess. This all will play a role in what the court will decide, also, if there are children involved or not.

I am having some difficulty with this statement
.
You've had your GC without conditions for 2 months and have been married all of 3 yrs 4 months. So, if you have been helping him financially for 3 years, that would mean that you began to "help" him just after you received your EAD. "Voluntarily" gets me a bit, to be frank. In a marriage one party does not look upon the situation as "supporting the (other) financially....voluntarily. It would appear to me that your view of the marriage for the better part of 3 years has been more akin to a "helping a friend" rather than building a life with a partner. Now that you're off on another relationship it seems flippant to regard this marriage as that.

Ohio recognises "no fault" grounds for divorce after a 12 month separation. So how generous is it of you to agree to contribute 50% of what you had been contributing during this mandatory period? Perhaps I might not be seeing things as you do, but then from an outsider's perspective, it's quite easy to see that your offer of paying something for another 12 months wasn't really much of an offer, was it?