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Kazan' Tiger
Apr 30 2008, 01:21 PM
I'm not so sure. I consider it is cultural based. Remember what I said... She believes that her children should 100% carry the bags if I am absent. The problem lies in that, when I am there, there is a strong man that should do it. She repeatedly mentioned, it would, "look bad on street. That a man should carry all when present."
QUOTE(dxt7339 @ Apr 30 2008, 12:46 PM) *
I agree this is not a clash of cultures. My wife expects her daughter to help with the groceries and other things.

QUOTE(Ilya R. @ Apr 30 2008, 12:29 PM) *
QUOTE(Kazan @ Apr 30 2008, 11:53 AM) *
Very true. By only problem is when this courtesy becomes a mandate with regards to children. This is one of the few things that Alla & I disagree on. Whenever we returned home with a weeks worth of groceries, it was my sole responsibility to carry all the bags. It was "not right" to ask her children to each take a small bag or two to lightened my load. I asked her, What do you do when I am not here. "We divide bags." was her answer. My retort was then , Why can't we do that now? To which she responded with the obvious, "Because you are here!" I pointed out that I expect my own children to help me when we go to the grocery store. To which was returned the predicted, "This not America!" Personally, I see nothing wrong with children helping in this capacity, in America or Россия!
QUOTE(eekee @ Apr 29 2008, 01:13 PM) *
yes, i can never walk more than two feet carrying something heavy without a man offering to carry it for me. in america they do sometimes, but it's not guaranteed like in Russia.




Thats not russian thing, Russians make their kids do everything. Especially boys. It looks like an individual agenda not clash of cultures.


Ilya R.
Apr 30 2008, 02:55 PM
I grew up in Russia, and remember clearly when my dad was with us I would still carry something. Same goes for all of my friends. Russian Parents are pretty strict when it comes to this, so its def not cultural. Unless your wife has a different kind view on what Husband should do, from the rest of us.
eekee
Apr 30 2008, 03:16 PM
I wasn't talking about grocery bags, but suitcases and things. smile.gif whenever we go shopping we put the stuff in backpacks anyway.
Kazan' Tiger
Apr 30 2008, 03:25 PM
Maybe its family or more local. I can say that whenever we stood out waiting the bus, I did, indeed, notice the children and wives empty handed while the man of the family resembled a mule.
QUOTE(Ilya R. @ Apr 30 2008, 03:55 PM) *
I grew up in Russia, and remember clearly when my dad was with us I would still carry something. Same goes for all of my friends. Russian Parents are pretty strict when it comes to this, so its def not cultural. Unless your wife has a different kind view on what Husband should do, from the rest of us.

Chuckles
Apr 30 2008, 04:03 PM
I've met a few American women who felt the man should carry everything too. That doesn't seem that odd to me, no matter what culture.

As far as my own family, I always try to do all the lifting and carrying... but my Russian wife and daughter do help...
Satellite
Apr 30 2008, 06:42 PM
QUOTE(Kazan @ Apr 30 2008, 01:25 PM) *
I can say that whenever we stood out waiting the bus, I did, indeed, notice the children and wives empty handed while the man of the family resembled a mule.
No wonder there is a high rate of alcoholism amongst Russian men.
Kazan' Tiger
Apr 30 2008, 09:12 PM
laughing.gif Hmmm, yes... I seem to remember saying often, I could use a drink, after toting those ten bags 500 meters from the stop plus the eight flights of steps!
QUOTE(Satellite @ Apr 30 2008, 07:42 PM) *
QUOTE(Kazan @ Apr 30 2008, 01:25 PM) *
I can say that whenever we stood out waiting the bus, I did, indeed, notice the children and wives empty handed while the man of the family resembled a mule.
No wonder there is a high rate of alcoholism amongst Russian men.

akdiver
May 1 2008, 04:48 AM
QUOTE
It was "not right" to ask her children to each take a small bag or two to lightened my load.
Oh, see, I would explain it this way: children need to earn their keep. If I'm earning the money to pay for the groceries, the very least they can do is to carry the bags into the house - ALL the bags. After they're done with that, they can take the trash out, mow the yard, vacuum the floors and do their homework.
charles!
May 1 2008, 07:10 AM
QUOTE(Satellite @ Apr 30 2008, 06:42 PM) *
QUOTE(Kazan @ Apr 30 2008, 01:25 PM) *
I can say that whenever we stood out waiting the bus, I did, indeed, notice the children and wives empty handed while the man of the family resembled a mule.
No wonder there is a high rate of alcoholism amongst Russian men.

laughing.gif
Ganja_Girl
May 1 2008, 08:17 AM
QUOTE
oh just wait till the american women find this thread!


Hey, hey, hey, American girl in the house. There are some awsome women in this country as well as awsome men. I date who I like and marry whom I love. I do say, Turkey has some hot men. good.gif
slim
May 1 2008, 12:38 PM
QUOTE(akdiver @ May 1 2008, 04:48 AM) *
QUOTE
It was "not right" to ask her children to each take a small bag or two to lightened my load.
Oh, see, I would explain it this way: children need to earn their keep. If I'm earning the money to pay for the groceries, the very least they can do is to carry the bags into the house - ALL the bags. After they're done with that, they can take the trash out, mow the yard, vacuum the floors and do their homework.


Yeah, but if you want something done right.....
charles!
May 2 2008, 07:56 AM
QUOTE(Ganja_Girl @ May 1 2008, 08:17 AM) *
QUOTE
oh just wait till the american women find this thread!


Hey, hey, hey, American girl in the house. There are some awsome women in this country as well as awsome men. I date who I like and marry whom I love. I do say, Turkey has some hot men. good.gif

it was just a matter of time whistling.gif
slim
May 2 2008, 09:44 AM
Let's liven this thread up again.....

I expect my wife to help me carry the bags. Moreover, since I'm the one paying for the groceries, she should carry all of them.
LvivLovers
May 2 2008, 10:06 AM
QUOTE(slim @ May 2 2008, 10:44 AM) *
Let's liven this thread up again.....

I expect my wife to help me carry the bags. Moreover, since I'm the one paying for the groceries, she should carry all of them.


This should be interesting...
Kazan' Tiger
May 2 2008, 10:16 AM
laughing.gif I made the mistake of handing a bag to Alla once. The look in her eyes was, well... indescribable. "Jeffery! I look like horse to you?" I replied, and I do? I then began to make my best horse impression on the streets of Kazan'. Let's say it did not go over well with her. I was definitely far more amused. laughing.gif

QUOTE(slim @ May 2 2008, 10:44 AM) *
Let's liven this thread up again.....

I expect my wife to help me carry the bags. Moreover, since I'm the one paying for the groceries, she should carry all of them.

Ilya R.
May 2 2008, 11:49 AM
QUOTE(slim @ May 2 2008, 10:44 AM) *
Let's liven this thread up again.....

I expect my wife to help me carry the bags. Moreover, since I'm the one paying for the groceries, she should carry all of them.


ME 2!!

Haha

jsouthwick
May 2 2008, 02:52 PM
QUOTE(Kazan @ May 2 2008, 10:16 AM) *
laughing.gif I made the mistake of handing a bag to Alla once. The look in her eyes was, well... indescribable. "Jeffery! I look like horse to you?" I replied, and I do? I then began to make my best horse impression on the streets of Kazan'. Let's say it did not go over well with her. I was definitely far more amused. laughing.gif

QUOTE(slim @ May 2 2008, 10:44 AM) *
Let's liven this thread up again.....

I expect my wife to help me carry the bags. Moreover, since I'm the one paying for the groceries, she should carry all of them.



Yeah other Jeff I try that too and my attempts are met with a quizzical look like "So this is American humor"? And I am reminded that our brand of humor is much different than in Russia, so be prepared when you try to explain an American joke or try to act out a scene, to say it falls flat is an understatement.
Kazan' Tiger
May 2 2008, 03:10 PM
She actually did find it funny... the next day! Fortunately, while still far from having it mastered, I have learned my own brand of Russian humour that seems to go over well with her and her family. There are many things we laugh at together but a few, well... unsure.gif
QUOTE(jsouthwick @ May 2 2008, 03:52 PM) *
QUOTE(Kazan @ May 2 2008, 10:16 AM) *
laughing.gif I made the mistake of handing a bag to Alla once. The look in her eyes was, well... indescribable. "Jeffery! I look like horse to you?" I replied, and I do? I then began to make my best horse impression on the streets of Kazan'. Let's say it did not go over well with her. I was definitely far more amused. laughing.gif

QUOTE(slim @ May 2 2008, 10:44 AM) *
Let's liven this thread up again.....

I expect my wife to help me carry the bags. Moreover, since I'm the one paying for the groceries, she should carry all of them.



Yeah other Jeff I try that too and my attempts are met with a quizzical look like "So this is American humor"? And I am reminded that our brand of humor is much different than in Russia, so be prepared when you try to explain an American joke or try to act out a scene, to say it falls flat is an understatement.
Satellite
May 2 2008, 03:31 PM
QUOTE(slim @ May 2 2008, 07:44 AM) *
I expect my wife to help me carry the bags. Moreover, since I'm the one paying for the groceries, she should carry all of them.
Here is the trend I have seen. Click the link below:
http://www.yaplakal.com/forum2/topic185817.html
akdiver
May 2 2008, 11:17 PM
QUOTE(slim @ May 2 2008, 06:44 AM) *
I expect my wife to help me carry the bags. Moreover, since I'm the one paying for the groceries, she should carry all of them.
Oh, see, I expect my wife to get a ###### job and help pay for stuff. Lo and behold, she did.
charles!
May 3 2008, 07:21 AM
QUOTE(slim @ May 2 2008, 09:44 AM) *
Let's liven this thread up again.....

I expect my wife to help me carry the bags. Moreover, since I'm the one paying for the groceries, she should carry all of them.

works for brazilian wife good.gif
slim
May 4 2008, 11:55 AM
QUOTE(Satellite @ May 2 2008, 03:31 PM) *
QUOTE(slim @ May 2 2008, 07:44 AM) *
I expect my wife to help me carry the bags. Moreover, since I'm the one paying for the groceries, she should carry all of them.
Here is the trend I have seen. Click the link below:
http://www.yaplakal.com/forum2/topic185817.html


It does seem to be going in that direction! I'm sure that's what Gloria Steinem and the lot expected when they went on their crusade. If it keeps up, we may end up there someday. Well, not "we" as in here in my house, but "we" as in what you see on TV and the typical "husband jobs" desired by women. Til then, it's Married with Children (minus the kids) around here.

QUOTE(akdiver @ May 2 2008, 11:17 PM) *
QUOTE(slim @ May 2 2008, 06:44 AM) *
I expect my wife to help me carry the bags. Moreover, since I'm the one paying for the groceries, she should carry all of them.
Oh, see, I expect my wife to get a ###### job and help pay for stuff. Lo and behold, she did.


That works until she gets tired of working. Then it's up to you again.
akdiver
May 4 2008, 10:54 PM
QUOTE(slim @ May 4 2008, 08:55 AM) *
That works until she gets tired of working. Then it's up to you again.
Nope - would never fly. No bums get to live in my house. Hell, I'm tired of working too, but I still do it.
dxt7339
May 5 2008, 06:19 AM
I still do not believe that this is a cultural issue. There are many expectations from my wife because she is a woman and I am a man, however, expecting me to carry ALL of the bags and not giving a helping hand is not one of them. She is and has always been willing to help carry some bags of the bags. It is only when there is one bag or there is a very heavy item would she expect me to carry it. This was true whe we were in russia together and it is true now in the USA. I think it is somewhat disrespectful to not offer to help.


QUOTE(Kazan @ May 2 2008, 11:16 AM) *
laughing.gif I made the mistake of handing a bag to Alla once. The look in her eyes was, well... indescribable. "Jeffery! I look like horse to you?" I replied, and I do? I then began to make my best horse impression on the streets of Kazan'. Let's say it did not go over well with her. I was definitely far more amused. laughing.gif

QUOTE(slim @ May 2 2008, 10:44 AM) *
Let's liven this thread up again.....

I expect my wife to help me carry the bags. Moreover, since I'm the one paying for the groceries, she should carry all of them.


slim
May 5 2008, 08:37 AM
QUOTE(akdiver @ May 4 2008, 10:54 PM) *
QUOTE(slim @ May 4 2008, 08:55 AM) *
That works until she gets tired of working. Then it's up to you again.
Nope - would never fly. No bums get to live in my house. Hell, I'm tired of working too, but I still do it.


So what are you going to do if she wants to quit her job, just kick her out? And since you "sponsored" her, aren't you also responsible for her welfare?

juanita
May 5 2008, 05:53 PM
whistling.gif VISA APROBADA!!! kicking.gif kicking.gif kicking.gif
laughing.gif
eekee
May 5 2008, 11:27 PM
????????????

QUOTE(juanita @ May 5 2008, 06:53 PM) *
whistling.gif VISA APROBADA!!! kicking.gif kicking.gif kicking.gif
laughing.gif

slim
May 6 2008, 09:03 AM
I'm used to seeing the PI threads posted here on accident but I believe this is a first for Columbia.

Maybe, just maybe, in staying true to our "off topic" posts, this person just dropped in to take us way, way, waaaaay off topic. Good show sir, good show.
charles!
May 7 2008, 07:14 AM
QUOTE(slim @ May 6 2008, 09:03 AM) *
I'm used to seeing the PI threads posted here on accident but I believe this is a first for Columbia.

Maybe, just maybe, in staying true to our "off topic" posts, this person just dropped in to take us way, way, waaaaay off topic. Good show sir, good show.

the same person posted the same thing in the sub-sahara off topic thread yesterday, i think they want everyone on vj to know about it laughing.gif
slim
May 7 2008, 08:55 AM
It's a shame there's no "Post to VJ ALL" button. (Actually, it's not a shame, it's probably very good there's no VJ ALL button. If some of the "very important" stuff from Off Topic ended up here, I'd have to kick it somewhere else.)

charles!
May 8 2008, 07:06 AM
QUOTE(slim @ May 7 2008, 08:55 AM) *
It's a shame there's no "Post to VJ ALL" button. (Actually, it's not a shame, it's probably very good there's no VJ ALL button. If some of the "very important" stuff from Off Topic ended up here, I'd have to kick it somewhere else.)

then the noobs would be using that all the time. hey, what's up with this forum? it's been pretty quiet lately.
slim
May 8 2008, 09:14 AM
QUOTE(charlesandnessa @ May 8 2008, 07:06 AM) *
hey, what's up with this forum? it's been pretty quiet lately.


Most of our Super star_smile.gif s are all having their interviews this month or just had them. They've got better things to do for a while.

It's only after several weeks, months, years of "happy" marriage will they be back here posting away their days in an attempt to better understand just what it is they've gotten themselves into.
Chuckles
May 8 2008, 01:06 PM
I still can't help wondering what happened to mox. He stopped posting so suddenly, and his wife's interview was today.
charles!
May 9 2008, 07:16 AM
QUOTE(slim @ May 8 2008, 09:14 AM) *
QUOTE(charlesandnessa @ May 8 2008, 07:06 AM) *
hey, what's up with this forum? it's been pretty quiet lately.


Most of our Super star_smile.gif s are all having their interviews this month or just had them. They've got better things to do for a while.

It's only after several weeks, months, years of "happy" marriage will they be back here posting away their days in an attempt to better understand just what it is they've gotten themselves into.

laughing.gif with that wide eyed wtf did i do! blink.gif
slim
May 9 2008, 09:10 AM
QUOTE(Chuckles @ May 8 2008, 01:06 PM) *
I still can't help wondering what happened to mox. He stopped posting so suddenly, and his wife's interview was today.


I think that's why he stopped posting. I suspect he'll pop back up here in the next few days.
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