So guys just a quick question after reading all your thread.... The correct answer to part C for a non military is
1) NA
2) NO
3) nothing since its a follow up of 2?
just makin sure

Well Susy, the advice I would give you is don't stress over what other's think. Invite the normal family, friends,etc to your wedding. "Present" the opportunity for them to come. If they have problems, let them deal with their own demons over this. This is the best time of your life and you don't need any negativity to bring you down.

Of course, folks may be "shocked" about the whole process. My friends are cool with it all. They knew I was talking about doing it for several years. I work in a highly diverse company and coworkers are supportive

Now I must say that my family was suprised that I am doing this for a 2nd time LOL











crs, I left #1 blank (I don't think I'll get dinged on that)
as for 2 and 3, you are correct.

Do you mind if i ask what happened the first time??

will send a pm

Susy, you have empathy here. Both my parents are still alive, and I have a brother, but I haven't seen the old man in years, and my brother is a sad 34-year-old virgin that still lives at home with mum (I kid you not) so their opinions are completely irrelevant. That leaves my mum, whom I'm very close to. She's deeply unhappy about the whole thing, because she thinks 'er indoors is "totally unsuitable" due to the fact that she's a hillbilly . She just doesn't get the fact that that we have all these things in common (most notably taste in music, which is a huge part of our lives) and how important that is. She's desperate for me to marry a flaxen-haired, English virgin, fresh from dancing round a maypole! The fact that 'er indoors has 2 kids is also a factor. Mum is very old fashioned, and is unimpressed about me taking on someone else's kids - especially seeing as she has no biological grandchildren of her own. But you know what? TOO DAMN BAD!!! She'll get over it!

On the flip side of that, I also have to deal with 'er indoors' ex and the ex in-laws, who are also hillbillys and live in the next town along - you can imagine the #### I have to put up with from them!!! But you know what? They can #### off too!!!!!! In fact, anyone in the whole wide world that has a problem with my marrying 'er indoors can kiss my hairy English arse!! PERIOD!!!

I really hope you've found this advice helpful.

As I have sometimes hinted at here, I have lost both my parents (my father almost 15 years ago, my mother at the end of 2004), and am currently estranged from my only brother (married with two children), mainly because of his wife's negative influence. Last year, when things were still going reasonably well, they met Michael on his first visit to Italy - but for the life of me I've never been able to understand if they liked him or not. One thing I know is they never asked me about his job, or how old he is - perfectly normal questions to ask a sister about her future husband. Odd as it may sound, the most sympathetic members of my family (and the ones with whom I have a relationship at the moment) are two elderly aunts, one my dad's sister, the other my mom's cousin. They have never met Michael in person, but they are very happy on my behalf, and can't wait to see me get that visa and leave towards my new life.

Suzy,

Too bad a part of your family isn´t happy for you. If I were you, I wouldn´t care at all, invite them all to the wedding, act as the good daughter and happy fiancee I am, I´m not the one who has a problem, they are! And that would give them a chance to see how great Luis probably is. If they don´t see that, again too bad, you did your part and I mean, who cares, anyway? They can´t know what´s going on in a relationship if they´re not IN it.

My family and friends didn´t quite believe how serious I was until I actually told them I was getting married. Before that, they thought it´d be over sooner or later. Now they´re happy for me, my parents are scared to death, though, and my mother cried (not out of happiness) when she knew about the approval. I guess it´s normal, I´m also scared of moving out of Brazil and sad to live my parents... Awww such a daddy´s girl, I am.

I guess the Norman Rockwell family paintings do not depict the people in this thread.

But, glad to know that I am not the only one.

Yeah, both my parents have passed away also. My mom when I was in high school, and my dad about five years ago. And my brother and I do not converse and all my grandparents are also deceased. Geez, and I am still in my thirties.

My advice is always to do the right thing whenever possible, especially when you get only one shot at it. ie. like funerals, weddings, etc. But having said that, I would never set up a scenario that would potentially ruin my wedding day.

Brian

I've just googled him, Brian. And you're spot on - they don't.

So guess what? I got my RFE in the mail & it was that stupid question. I have to check "NO" sign it and mail it back. No biggie.

BIG relief.

I'll be sending it out next day LOL

May it go thru fast for ya.....

My mother and father absolutely love Jim. He visited them with me while he was in the country, and they had a blast with him. As far as I can tell, they have absolutely no reservations about our relationship. Same for my friends, who I basically regard as family.

My maternal grandmother is probably a little more wary, but as she hasn't met him, that's to be expected. I think she'll be okay once they meet.

My step-family? I have no idea, and don't really care. Not that I have anything against them, really, but I've never been to mindful of anything they think. We've always had some pretty fundamental differences of opinion on just about everything.

Hey Suzy!!

As to your first question, my mom's side is great with it! They all love Gareth!! It was my mom who told us about the K1 Visa thing...I didn't know about it. As for my dad, he likes Gareth, and we went to his family reunion this past weekend and they all love him, but they don't know that he's coming in on a fiancé Visa...we just talked about it as a Visa at the reunion. And as far as they know we're legally getting married in May. It is just easier that way with my dad and his family. We're afraid he'd say something like you mentioned before...that he's just marrying me to stay here. Dad is just blah like that. So to keep the peace and make things go smooth...that's how we roll on that one.

And I'm glad to see you got your RFE in the mail...hope it goes quickly! And it means my hard copy should be here soon since we were touched and issued our things the same day. We've just about got everything together that he needs, just gotta get that copy of the NOA2. I hope it comes soon!!

Good luck everyone!

Stephanie

Sorry if I am in a hurry (getting ready for work), but I had to share the great news with you... WE'VE FINALLY BEEN APPROVED!!!!!

I want to thank you all for putting up with me, and wish ALL THE BEST to everyone.. those still waiting, and those who will be soon facing interviews. More later!

There ya go!! That only took 131 days too!! More than a month less than mine - what were ya worried about!!!!???

So I trust we'll be seeing a happier Highway Star around here now, mmmmmmmmm????

Oh, thought ya might like this.....

Hi Brian,

I am so sorry to hear that you got a status change after receiving your NOA2. Dear don't worry everything will be back on track soon. We all look at you for being so strong and a guiding force for everyone of us. I wish that this hurdle in your path will get over soon and you get a good news faster....

Wish you all the very best for a speedy approval..

with best wishes & Regards,

Amrit & Rob

Congratulations!!!!!! Does it not feel like all the anxiety and angst has been for nothing when you get that email? I know that I was crying down the phone to Megan when she told me. We had been fighting a lot and had booked for her to come here and a week later we got the email. When we're done with the NOA2 notice we are going to frame it and put it up in the bathroom!!!!! I'm so happy for you. Now let's get the finger out VSC and start approving the rest of Paril before going on to the May people...........

@ HIGHWAYSTAR

Congrats

Congratulations! Very happy for you. The wait is over!!

Hi Suzy,
I totally feel your pain. It is really hard "convincing," everyone that this is the best thing for me, and that he isn't just after a "green" card (I live close to where you - I'm in Stamford, CT <where the "green card" issue occurs all too often>). All of my family and friends are pretty honest with me, not that I necessarily appreciate that all the time, and not only do they tell me to be careful because of you never know of his hidden agendas but they also think it would be soo much easier if I just married a local person, who knew everyone, had a job here, spoke the language, etc (which I had a bf for 8 yrs before I met him). It would be of course, but I'm not in love with anyone else. Which I bet you feel the same way. I do have to admit - one thing that I often do do, which I know is terrible, is when people are saying negative things to me, sometimes some of them stick in my head and I call him and ask him these ridiculous questions... Do you ever feel like it's you and him against everyone? Hahah, not saying that everyone is against me either, but I do think that everyone is just worried and trying to look out for me, which I bet is the same for you. And I don't know about you, but Felipe hasn't been able to visit so no one knows him, and all they see is a man who I met in November on vacation now trying to come to America. Where I know, just like you, he would prefer me to move to Chile (he's asked several times).

You just have to know that when everyone meets him they will love him.. And it's hard for everyone to make judgements when they don't know him.. Once he gets here and if then everyone is still rude to him, I would agree to put some distance between you and them, but until then I think everyone is just trying to look out for you.

OMG! See? We told ya! Congratulations Raffaela!

I totally understand you. It's not really my mom's family who does that judgemental kind of thing, and they're the people I really care about, so I guess it doesn't matter. My dad's family just is really judgemental and they always have been. So this is no surprise to me.

I guess the difference is that, in my case, I've been dating him for a while and my mom knows, I've been down to Peru twice, talk to him on the phone CONSTANTLY, so she knows its real etc etc. I told my mom that I just can't take it anymore, I don't like only seeing my boyfriend 2X a year and also that we need to move on to the next step in our relationship. She's cool with it, which is great.

I just want to thank all of you again for your support, and apologise for being whiny and negative on more than one occasion. Unfortunately, I tend to get anxious when faced with things I can't control, as such a situation often brings back bad memories of past occurrences. Now, however, the wait for the interview will feel like a breeze, and this morning everything around me looked and felt different... I know I'll have just about 1,000's of things to do before I leave, but now I feel I can face them with a much lighter heart.

To all those still waiting (S&D in particular): I will be thinking about you, and hoping and wishing with all my heart that everything will turn out all right for you as it did for us. May the rest of your journey be smooth, and your life be filled with love, laughter and joy!

To Suzy, INCT and all those who are experiencing problems with their families, I'll tell you just one thing... I know of many people whose SO's married them for financial or social gain - and both parties were Italian. It happens everywhere - marrying someone of 'your own kind' is no guarantee against being used. In our case, I am the one who is better off financially... Should I think that Michael is marrying me because of that, and giving me a GC in exchange? For too many people it is far too easy to simplify something as complex as life.

Regarding the RFE... yes, you would think the government would want to fix that..and the issue regarding not enough spaces in the biographical forms...but noooooo, why reduce frustrations and workload???? That would just make too much sense.

Brian, I really feel for you. In all my time here i've never heard of this happening to anyone else. I do hope that, at the very least, someone with some compassion gets hold of your file and pushes it back through very quickly for you.

Oh Suzy, that's a tough one! I come from an extremely close family who actually all still live in the area. I think I even mentioned that I actually own the house that they all grew up in on the street named after them. Many of them also built houses on this street and still live here too. We call it the Amico Compound. Because I've known Russell for 10 years, my family already knew of him as our dear friend before we began our relationship. When my marriage fell apart it wasn't a big surprise to anyone that Russ and I hooked up. After he came to spend a year with us it was just as though he'd always been here and now my friends and family are looking forward to him coming home almost as much as I am. Ultimately, my family trusts in my judgement. All that matters to them is my happiness. That's how it should be.

So, here's my two cents for what it's worth..only because I know it would matter to me too... invite them and kill them with kindness. Let them see with their own eyes how much love there is between the two of you. If, after that, they still have comments to make (which it sounds as though they will)...they obviously are upset for different reasons and have their own demons to face. Then it's just about pity for them... and never you mind. I'm so glad that was your RFE... it bothers me that they wont fix this!

@ the Norman Rockwell reference. We actually had a N.R. calendar in our home every year growing up. Up until my 20's we probably fit into that mold.

crs... the example forms (link above) really explain it best.

Damian.. wth is 'er indoors'????? @ your comment to Raff.. a month less than yours! Up until a couple of weeks ago if you weren't approved at Vermont by this time it was cause for concern. CSC has always sucked. Don't get me wrong, i'm soooo delighted that they are equalling out with processing times but it is a little disheartning to see CSC'ers with my filing date being approved now...mostly because I dont think it's a case that they sped up..more that VSC just slowed way down.

Raff.. sweetheart, you made my day!!!! Congratulations!!! I couldn't be happier for you and Michael. I'm with you... S&D's turn next!!!

milo.. I see you lurking. Still keeping our fingers crossed for our approvals this week. I just know we're in the same lazy adjuticator's box! As I lay in bed sick last night talking to Russell he said there was an approval and I said "it's not milo is it?". Yeah.. we're getting desperate over here.

I want to apologize for not being so upbeat yesterday. I was sooooo very sick for a couple of days...so much so that I could not keep anything down and could barely lift my head. I work for myself and i'm very busy lately.. I have a couple new clients that I could do nothing for... then Russell having his cell phone stolen...grrrr ya know? So after almost constant sleep since then I seem to be on the mend (knock on wood)... mentally and physically.

Never did we think it would take 4 months to get through this part. I know, as well as anyone, how unfair the process is and it really is just our luck that we get stuck in the slow box but we were really hoping for a break since we had to wait 3 years to file in the first place. Well..apparently, we're once again taking the long road around and we're just going to need to find a way to deal with that the best we can. Stressing ourselves out even more isn't going to do us any good.

Besides... how can I feel too badly when there are still March filers waiting!??! We've probably got that same slow @ss adjuticator!!!!

Congratulations on all the new approvals!!!!!!! Highwaystar- keep your chin up now!!

Im waiting on my packet and feeling a bit scared of the mountain of paperwork/medical/interview stuff to come!!

I think that if I mentally give it time and dont rush it then I can get through it all just like we got through getting the petition approved.....it will probably only be October-November by the time everything is done and Ive trained someone else for my job/found a new flatmate for my room and all that Jazz but at least we will be together for Xmas and I will have escaped London before the horrible horrible winter comes back!!!!!
I want to go to Hawaii for x mas It can be our 'honeymoon' lol, even though we aren't doing a 'proper' wedding when I first get there, just signing the paperwork to get the AOS going!!

There are soooooooooo many nerve wracking parts to this all, even when you have the visa in hand you have the going through customs bit etc to make you nice and nervous but in a few months this will all pretty much be over and we can look back at this and laugh....right?

Kim and Russ- I went through all the posts i missed when traveling once I got back and was disappointed to see you STILL not approved! Cant imagine how you're feeling! I'll pray for you- really! (I liked your weight loss website- great tips! I've just lost 5kgs which I didnt feel was much until I imagined carrying that in a shopping bag around the place!! Am only eating zero calorie foods (like cauliflower and apples people- its not NO food!) for the next two weeks to be as trim as possible for the beach!!

As you mentioned cauliflower, I must remember to post a wonderful Neapolitan recipe for a cauliflower salad they make for Xmas. It is very low-calorie (unless you drench it in oil, which I never do), and utterly delicious. I use a lot of vegetables for my cooking, as in the Italian tradition, and it doesn't take much to make tasty dishes out of them.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

JUST GOT APPROVED!!!!!!!! WOW I AM DANCIN'

congratulations!

Kim, you are next

from your lips......

Way to GOOOOOOO!!!! I am so happy for you. But what I am most proud about is the fact that you did not give in to Jerry's conspiracy theory that your file was destined to fall into a USCIS black hole because of your previous filing.

Thanks for staying positive and not giving in to the dark side!!!!!!!!!!


Brian

WOOOOOOOOOOOO IAM SO HAPPY FOR THE BOTH OF YOU. CONGRATS

Not wanting to rain on the party of those still waiting. Kim and Suzy in particular. We got our medical date for Tuesday after talking to the nicest lady ever at the Washington Visa Office. Just keeping you all up to date.

Congrats on the new approvals too!!!!!

Graham.. no worries over here. I'm very happy for you guys! Glad it's moving along.

congratulations on ur approval..! ..woohoo...

Congrats to Jon and Olenka, and keeping fingers crossed big time for Kim and Russ!!!

Congratulations on all the new approvals!!!

I sent in my RFE today, easy as pie ! I hope it gets approved quick!

Hey here's a question for all of ya:

Me and Luis communicate in Spanish, it's the language we both speak perfectly so it works.

How do some of you guys with language barriers manage to communicate? I heard 'love' knows no languages (or boundaries), but I'm curious.
I'm a foreign language major so it interests me

I'm studying the interactions of the indigenous people of Latin America during the colonización when the conquistadores made their first contacts with people who spoke another language, and trying to understand how communication was possible. Don't know how VJ can apply to that, but LOL, just curious anyway.

Also, FYI Peruvian Spanish and Puerto Rican Spanish are so different in so many ways. We use a lot of English words and in Peru they don't so we had the 'broccoli' incident that one time where I made a fool of myself. Or the hangear incident where Luis actually thought I was talking about actually hanging from something as opposed to "hanging out." So we have our own boundaries. LOL

'er indoors speaks a strange dialect called "Hick" Susy. I've picked it up quite quickly, actually.

WE DO HAVE SOMETIMES PROBLEMS TOO CAUSE GERMAN HAS WAY MORE WORDS TO DESCRIBE THINGS. FOR EXAMPLE WE HAVE A OWN WORD FOR A FEMALE PIG. I TRIED TO TEACH RICKY GERMAN BUT IS SO HARD. HE USE RIGHT NOW THE PROGRAMM ROSETTA STONE. SO IF SOMEBODY WANNA LEARN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE THIS IS REALLY THE BEST PROGRAMM.BUT U ALSO CAN USE HANDS ARMS TO DESCRIBE THINGS AND THE OTHER PERSON WILL UNDERSTAND YOU SOONER OR LATER.

Hey Suzy, we do have something in common - I am also a Foreign Language major, and taught English for about 10 years in Italy. Michael and I communicate in English - he doesn't speak Italian, though he understands it somewhat (both the spoken and the written language), and I'm trying to teach him as much as I can. However, since I am more than fluent in English, for me it is no problem whatsoever - even if sometimes I come up with some expression he doesn't understand! This is because I speak mainly British English, and still tend to use British words, like 'lift', 'pavement', 'petrol', and so on. Before we met I thought I knew most of the differences, but after I visited the US I found out there was still something new to learn.. like 'mass transit' instead of 'public transport'.

Thanks Graham & Megan!! How's the UK treating you guys? I want to go someday. I think when me and Luis are no longer poor (LOL) we are going to go to Europe. He has friends in Spain and Belgium. I don't have any friends in Europe but I want to GOOO!! I want to do a whole summer just wandering around Europe. Obviously I need to go to the UK or I won't be happy

You have to stop then in Germany too.

I needed that!



Thanks sweetheart.




I just take the u's out of everything he spells! Really, like you..even though we both speak English..it's a different kind of English so every now and then we come across something that we have to pause and wonder about ...explain...and then have a giggle about. And this after 10 years of communication. Although I have to say, one of my greatest attractions to Russell is his intellect. I just can't imagine not being able to converse with him easily.

So glad you got that rfe back so quick! Wont be long now!



oic... kinda like 'git'r dun' that's too funny. A brit accent with southern US flare... this I gotta hear!

hey we're on page 100!

Yay! Congrats, HighwayStar and Jon/Olenka!

Feels awesome, doesn't it?

I will definetely go to Germany Steph! My grandfather's family on my father's side is from Germany, and I have always wanted to learn German! I can't even tell you how many times I've watched "Run Lola Run" trying to learn the words they said, haha.

I am going to clean the mess that is my apartment now. Talk to ya later!

Do you know where they from in Germany? I didnt even know they had that movie translated.

They didn't translate it. I watched the subtitles. heheh

I'm not sure exactly where they came from all I know is that they at one point were living in Frankfurt, but my grandfather told me they came from the countryside? So I'm not sure. I wish I knew more.

LOL Subtitle

Iam usually from East Germany between Berlin and the border to Poland. But now i live in a bigger city in Kaiserslautern thats near Ramstein( biggest Air Force base throughtout America). I love Germany and the food. Thats one thing i will really miss when iam in Raleigh/NC

I am Luke Skywalker!! Don't want to go to the dark side ever!! After I realized the my first dealio was in 2005 and my new approval was going to be 2008, the whole 2yr thing just left the picture completely

Yay congrats to the new approvals! A couple more of your out of us May-ers way LOL!!

Suzy - So your RFE made me look at our paperwork and looks like we'll be getting it too :S boo to holdups....

Steph - Raleigh! That's where I'm going as well!! Maybe we can meet up with Steelman and take some of his beers! LOL

<3 Jen