It's so pathetic to hear of another person being used and disrespected for something that all of us are so desperately suffering for right now! It has to be the most horrific thing to discover after everything we are forced to endure during this process. My heart goes out to you, and all the others who will unfortunately discover a similar situation. We all know the risks, yet we choose to take the leap of faith for reasons only we can ever know. I personally know at least 5 women, I have met in the last year who have horror stories of their own. It's devestating. I truly hope that you are successful in his deportation. We have to send a message that we will not tolorate this, and that there is punishment for breaking the law in this country!!!!

For anyone who's interested...theres a yahoo group called "romancescams" that is an excellent support and networking site. There's lots of information and people who have been, or are now going thru the same thing. They even post pictures and names of known "scammers". The groups owners and moderators were on "Oprah" not too long ago. Maybe they will have information on how to best handle your situation Betrayed01.

My thoughts and prayers go out to all of us who have let God be the judge of our fate.

God Bless

Hello Betrayed01,

Girlfriend let me tell you, if his Mandingo A$$ only has a conditional card then all you have to do is take your evidence to your local office with an official letter stating that you want to rescind your petition because you have evidence that the A$$HOLE married you for a green card. That will get the ball rolling so they can exercise his A$$ back to his wife and chillin'. Keeping his dumb whorish A$$ in your house is only going to give him time to build up an abuse case against you in an attempt to stay. I have this on very good authority as a friend is an ajudication supervisor at the NBC in Lee's Summit. They advised me when my own green card prostitute did the same to me, but unfortunately he got a ten year card which meant for me to get his A$$ deported I would have had to stoop to his level and file a report that he hit me. If he is charged with any felony he can kiss and whatootsie his A$$ back to the bush. I know it's hard because I fought my feelings for nearly a year and allowed this man to continue to play games with my heart, but when I realized that his A$$ was just plain NO DAMN GOOD, it was time for me to start building me back up. I had to remember that I was the prize, not him! Girl you got GOLD with your evidence and conditional card. I hope you use it.

Lurking, you were very generous in your statistics about relationships being a scam. It is more like 3 out of 4 are scams. Its an ugly fact, but it is the truth. My heart aches that yet again another one of my sisters has to go through this BULL$HIT because of weak A$$ men like them! Let go and let God, Believe me He will put a can of WHOOP A$$ on him too, but He also helps those who help themselves! Peace out and PM me if you like.

If he married the other "wife" first, then surely this marriage to the OP is not legal? Therefore the K-1 visa was obtained fraudulently by him? If you can find out when he married this other woman (surely before he came here, so she is his legal wife probably) it will help your case.

Wishing you the best.

Mags,

That's easier said than done. How is she going to get her hands on the document? If she is not there to give them a damn bribe then they are not just going to mail her a copy of their marriage certificate out of the kindness of their hearts. She has a better chance of letting the investigators here utilize the embassy investigators to get that info. Hell I don't know why they didn't send their nosey A$$E$ after Bin Laden, 'cause their CSI A$$E$ will do and uncover anything to keep Nigerians from getting visas, and they for sure would have found Bin Laden if they told them he was a Nigerian trying to get in the country fradulently. No offense to anyone but that is how they are trained. The consular officers are trained at the embassy in Nigeria because of it's high fraud rate.

Bensagin, where have you been girl?! Go on the cyberchat thread and update us about the baby and what's going on in your life!

It was just a thought. If the embassy investigators can do the job then that's great too. She just has to make sure that she does fill them in on the fact that their marriage is more than likely not legal or valid.

The reality is that in Africa, many marraiges are not legally made. They are traditional marraige ceremonies. There isn't any huge benefit to marrying in the courts legally, so many just skip it altogether. So, he could be married but not what we in America would consider a legal marraige. It could just be a religious ceremony that binds a man and woman in matrimony that doesn't involve government entities at all.

True Dat,

Well, if that's the case, then even if this errant husband is successful in adjusting his status and naturalizing through the OP, he's going to have a hard time bringing his 'girlfriend' and her children over to the US.

All in all - not a very well thought out plan.

I see the OP has not been around for a while and I hope she is ok. I was also wondering if the B@stard could be nailed for bigamy here...but I guess she would have to prove that he was married in Nigeria...this whole thing just really upsets me. We are here for you I am truley and sincerely sorry that this happened to you.

This is true in Nepal as well - many(most?) marriages are just done at the temple with no documents signed. Neither my MIL or my SIL had legal marriages, only temple marriages. We had a temple marriage but also went to the government office to have our marriage registered legally. Still, when the doubt monster rears its ugly head I wonder if he has or will marry a younger Nepali girl at the temple - it is a possiblilty, and Hindu tradition frowns upon it but doesn't completely rule it out, especially when the first wife is infertile, which is likely the case at my age... My ex's father had two wives both living in the same apartment and fighting constantly - no wonder he was an @$$hole!!! Still, I have decided to have faith and not let the best man I have ever met go because of mere 'possibilities'. To the OP, this is absolutely horrible and at least you are lucky he doesn't have permanent GC yet - my hubby will be coming with a CR-1, possibly an IR-1 so yes the concern does cross my mind at low times, once he gets on his feet financially he could just walk and there would be nothing I could do to stop him... I choose to believe him innocent until proven guilty though and have faith, I do love him and he has given me no solid reason to doubt his intentions.

I am just seeing this thread and I cannot express how sorry I am to read this. And like "lurking" said, I guess we followed your journey and championed you along the way. So it's sad to read that the journey didn't go as planned. Definitely collect and hide away all of that evidence you have and be protective of yourself. And please check in with us to let us know you are okay.

I just read this thread, I am so sorry this happened to you. Good plan on keeping on the low down, it can be hard, but remember the number one rule, “Keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer,” By keeping your enemies close, you know their moves, moods and characteristics, and you can even sometimes be undetected as their enemy. Sadly he is now your enemy, and never let him on to that, the less he suspects the better. Gather all the information, and keep doing what you are doing. Take him down hard, but the best part, don’t let him see it coming. I love surprises. When I was in the middle of the hell with my ex-husband, I started to read true crime stories, LOTS OF THEM, made sure they were all over the house. Sometimes I would even share little bits with my ex, to this day, he still scared of me. Priceless, cause he knew, that I was learning things that a loser husband might not want his soon to be ex to learn. But remember always be sweet, sugar sweet, dripping freaking sweet, all the while making sure he knows you are reading. Oh and make sure you hit all the death row sites online, and crime library, and make off hand comments, I would have never got ridden that body that way, gee that is elementary you know. Need any help let me know, take his loser butt out, and let him wet himself on the way out.

Oh my goodness! ....I just pray for her safety and that she is blessed with the outcome she desires.

any new news about this situation? I feel so bad

THe African girls are the sweetest to me @ the mosque, thier babis jump on me and they come over and invite me to thier houses. They are great housewives and i think good addition to any family...enjoy the companionship.

Huh?

I'm with stevi1123 on this. I think this must have been accidentally posted here. I don't think anyone would be serious about as a response to the OP, and I don't think anyone would joke about a thing like this.

You obviously have not seen her work. Its not the first time she has posted something like this here. I would direct you to the Cyber Cafe thread to take a peek.

I'm guessing she somehow accidentally posted in the wrong thread?

Naw... check the previous posts. They are equally as this one

Wow...I went to look at her other topics...

me personally i would talk him into a two week trip back to his country and about a week have someone call me saying my aunt had a heart attack and not expected to live or a similar story and tell him i have to get back home so u just stay and enjoy whats left of the vacation with his family and take off with his green card in hand. i dont believe he will be able to get back into the country without it. then leave a note under his pillow...hows it feel to be scammed? tell him dont even bother to return to the country becasuse u have already notified USCIS of the fraud marriege and provided them with the proof so if he comes back he will be arrested. i would think that should put the fear of God in him not to return. of course i would sent my findings to the USCIS before i left to let them have time to put a red flag on his green card so if he did try to return they might not admit him.

really im sorry to hear things didnt work out for u. its really ashame when u give ur life and heart to someone evil like him.

i wish u much luck in ur future in finding a nice guy to settle down with.

Great, clever idea!!! I love it.