Hello all
My paperwork process has not yet begun but all plans lead to my leaving the UK and living and marrying my amazing man in the US by early 2011.
In the meantime I wondered if anyone knows of a good book out there that is a 'how to' of American life - i.e. so once this visa process is done and achieved how to do and understand everyday challenges.
Such as what you need to open a bank account, how do taxes work, heathcare, how to get a drivers licence, and other less formal things such as American
cultural behaviour - what to do and what not to do!
This site is fantastic and a great help - If anyone knows of any good books I look forward to hearing from you.
Rachel
Full Version: Books on Life in the US
If you are from London i dont think you will have any trouble adapting. Really wouldnt invest much time in thinking about it. just go there and dive in. more fun that way as well. Just dont let him do everything for you. that is an easy trap to fall into. Take charge and make phone calls for yourself when it comes to adminstrative stuff. Books on stuff like this are totally overrated. Ask here or at britishexpats.com if you have questions you want answered without having to ask him.
Healthcare will be a big change and sucks.
drivers license is easy and use your UK one for the first year if you dont want to hassle with a new one.
Healthcare will be a big change and sucks.
drivers license is easy and use your UK one for the first year if you dont want to hassle with a new one.
Where will you be moving to? There ae huge cultural differences between, say, Seattle, New York and rural Arkansas..
For general stuff, I'd recommend Bill Bryson's books "Notes from a Big Country", "Walk in the Woods" and "Lost Continent". The "... for Dummies" series has books on most US states, though I haven't read any so cannot vouch for them.
For general stuff, I'd recommend Bill Bryson's books "Notes from a Big Country", "Walk in the Woods" and "Lost Continent". The "... for Dummies" series has books on most US states, though I haven't read any so cannot vouch for them.
I sort of object, just on principle, to being called a 'Dummy' by someone who wants me to buy their product...
so, I won't
so, I won't
This is linked somewhere on VJ but its a really great guide put out by the US governement for new immigrants. You can download it to your computer.
http://www.uscis.gov/portal/site/uscis/men...00048f3d6a1RCRD
http://www.uscis.gov/portal/site/uscis/men...00048f3d6a1RCRD
My fiance has been here four times since August (for a total of 7 weeks) and we've found very few significant differences. Some of the language difference catch him up (and me) but you are already aware of those if you're engaged to an American. Driving was a breeze, getting documents (such as a drivers license) will vary from state to state anyway and more than likely your fiance will know all this anyway.
Some things that are different...we have drive-in service for lots of things. (My fiance was completely confused when I said we were going to the bank and drove up to an ATM.) Some foods are different. Paying for service in a restaurant is sometimes different. You just learn a lot by watching and doing. It's not that alien and it's just the little stuff that's a bit unsettling but certainly not debilitating. (Last week he asked for "a still water" at a bar and we all looked at him expecting him to explain how to make it. We thought he meant a cocktail. All our water here is still, and is served from the tap with all meals.)
Something that's helped my fiance a lot is to subscribe to the local newspaper by email. He keeps up with the local events and often knows what's going on before I do. Reading through the phone book will help. (Our phone books typically have a section of government and/or community information.) Get a map of the town and become familiar with the layout. Look at things on Google Earth and see what the terrain looks like. When my fiance is here, he does all the driving and gradually I've given fewer and fewer driving directions. Now I just say, "across the street from WalMart" and he knows exactly where to go.
Don't sweat it. And remember that customs vary across the country, too. So someone from California is going to be out of custom in Georgia, for instance. My sweetie is always thinking his ignorance is a cultural difference. But he doesn't realize that things aren't uniform here and we're often just as clueless. That's why things have instructions on them, LOL!
Ginger
Some things that are different...we have drive-in service for lots of things. (My fiance was completely confused when I said we were going to the bank and drove up to an ATM.) Some foods are different. Paying for service in a restaurant is sometimes different. You just learn a lot by watching and doing. It's not that alien and it's just the little stuff that's a bit unsettling but certainly not debilitating. (Last week he asked for "a still water" at a bar and we all looked at him expecting him to explain how to make it. We thought he meant a cocktail. All our water here is still, and is served from the tap with all meals.)
Something that's helped my fiance a lot is to subscribe to the local newspaper by email. He keeps up with the local events and often knows what's going on before I do. Reading through the phone book will help. (Our phone books typically have a section of government and/or community information.) Get a map of the town and become familiar with the layout. Look at things on Google Earth and see what the terrain looks like. When my fiance is here, he does all the driving and gradually I've given fewer and fewer driving directions. Now I just say, "across the street from WalMart" and he knows exactly where to go.
Don't sweat it. And remember that customs vary across the country, too. So someone from California is going to be out of custom in Georgia, for instance. My sweetie is always thinking his ignorance is a cultural difference. But he doesn't realize that things aren't uniform here and we're often just as clueless. That's why things have instructions on them, LOL!
Ginger
QUOTE(gingerblue @ Mar 29 2008, 11:40 PM) 
My fiance has been here four times since August (for a total of 7 weeks) and we've found very few significant differences. Some of the language difference catch him up (and me) but you are already aware of those if you're engaged to an American. Driving was a breeze, getting documents (such as a drivers license) will vary from state to state anyway and more than likely your fiance will know all this anyway.
Some things that are different...we have drive-in service for lots of things. (My fiance was completely confused when I said we were going to the bank and drove up to an ATM.) Some foods are different. Paying for service in a restaurant is sometimes different. You just learn a lot by watching and doing. It's not that alien and it's just the little stuff that's a bit unsettling but certainly not debilitating. (Last week he asked for "a still water" at a bar and we all looked at him expecting him to explain how to make it. We thought he meant a cocktail. All our water here is still, and is served from the tap with all meals.)
Something that's helped my fiance a lot is to subscribe to the local newspaper by email. He keeps up with the local events and often knows what's going on before I do. Reading through the phone book will help. (Our phone books typically have a section of government and/or community information.) Get a map of the town and become familiar with the layout. Look at things on Google Earth and see what the terrain looks like. When my fiance is here, he does all the driving and gradually I've given fewer and fewer driving directions. Now I just say, "across the street from WalMart" and he knows exactly where to go.
Don't sweat it. And remember that customs vary across the country, too. So someone from California is going to be out of custom in Georgia, for instance. My sweetie is always thinking his ignorance is a cultural difference. But he doesn't realize that things aren't uniform here and we're often just as clueless. That's why things have instructions on them, LOL!
Ginger
Some things that are different...we have drive-in service for lots of things. (My fiance was completely confused when I said we were going to the bank and drove up to an ATM.) Some foods are different. Paying for service in a restaurant is sometimes different. You just learn a lot by watching and doing. It's not that alien and it's just the little stuff that's a bit unsettling but certainly not debilitating. (Last week he asked for "a still water" at a bar and we all looked at him expecting him to explain how to make it. We thought he meant a cocktail. All our water here is still, and is served from the tap with all meals.)
Something that's helped my fiance a lot is to subscribe to the local newspaper by email. He keeps up with the local events and often knows what's going on before I do. Reading through the phone book will help. (Our phone books typically have a section of government and/or community information.) Get a map of the town and become familiar with the layout. Look at things on Google Earth and see what the terrain looks like. When my fiance is here, he does all the driving and gradually I've given fewer and fewer driving directions. Now I just say, "across the street from WalMart" and he knows exactly where to go.
Don't sweat it. And remember that customs vary across the country, too. So someone from California is going to be out of custom in Georgia, for instance. My sweetie is always thinking his ignorance is a cultural difference. But he doesn't realize that things aren't uniform here and we're often just as clueless. That's why things have instructions on them, LOL!
Ginger
thanks for the responses - all useful. I particularly like the local newspaper one - I am a bit of an information junkie, so that suits me!
Love this community - a great help1
Hello,
I think a big concept that you and other non-US residents may not have experienced is that of "states' rights." It comes from the US Constitution-Tenth Amendment:
"powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people."
It's been challenged and debated and tweaked forever because over the decades the "concept" has been interpreted differently. Basically each state is, in a sense, independent unless there is a federal/national law that every US citizen must comply with like paying income tax. Examples of things determined by state government are sales tax, property tax, schools, how to get a driver's license, speed limits, and rules for marriage or divorce. Some states have a state income tax, others do not. Some states are passing laws to allow same-sex marriages. In Texas there is a three day waiting period after you get a marriage license before you can get married. In other places (Las Vegas comes to mind) you can get married on the spot. I guess Texas wants to make sure you don't get drunk and get married on a whim and regret it the next morning.
So... you probably want to research living in the state where you plan to reside as well as the US in general. And don't be afraid to just "dive in" as the other member said. People will be charmed by your accent and you'll find yourself quite popular!
I think a big concept that you and other non-US residents may not have experienced is that of "states' rights." It comes from the US Constitution-Tenth Amendment:
"powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people."
It's been challenged and debated and tweaked forever because over the decades the "concept" has been interpreted differently. Basically each state is, in a sense, independent unless there is a federal/national law that every US citizen must comply with like paying income tax. Examples of things determined by state government are sales tax, property tax, schools, how to get a driver's license, speed limits, and rules for marriage or divorce. Some states have a state income tax, others do not. Some states are passing laws to allow same-sex marriages. In Texas there is a three day waiting period after you get a marriage license before you can get married. In other places (Las Vegas comes to mind) you can get married on the spot. I guess Texas wants to make sure you don't get drunk and get married on a whim and regret it the next morning.
So... you probably want to research living in the state where you plan to reside as well as the US in general. And don't be afraid to just "dive in" as the other member said. People will be charmed by your accent and you'll find yourself quite popular!
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