VisaJourney.com > MENA-One Visa Journey For the Book

Nagishkaw

Mar 25 2008, 08:39 AM

QUOTE(aisha kandisha @ Mar 25 2008, 08:21 AM)

QUOTE(Pattu Rani @ Mar 25 2008, 07:43 AM)

The fear that hubby might have a wife and kids somewhere is definitely NOT limited to MENA or Islam - in Hinduism bigamy is very rarely tolerated though in Nepal at least it is against the law...that said it is hard to enforce because it is socially acceptable to just have a temple marriage with no papers - so yes I have had the fear that maybe he has a village wife stowed away waiting for him to get his GC, though more and more I am trusting him and in my heart I don't feel that he would do that. His family couldn't afford it, for one thing...

There is also some discussion of this on the Sub-Saharan forum. So it is definitely not a bigoted reaction against MENA men. There have even been cases of bigamy with American men who have somehow managed to have wives in different states....

But how many women married to American men are worried about their husbands having a second wife or consider it something that goes along with being married to an American man even though it happens here?

Statistics in Egypt for polygyny are often equal to estimates for the adult male gay population in the United States, but how many of us worried that our previous husbands/boyfriends were gay? I doubt many, but it is statistically more probable. Terrorism is even a greater stretch.

I think it is obvious that many of the issues addressed in this thread are based in negative stereotypes rather than any reality-based probability. Just because one can be applied to Hindus or Subsaharans as well doesn't make it less rooted in generalizations. How many of us approached relationships with American men and worried that they were pedophiles or other unlikely extremes?

Telling her how great she is or that it is "normal" to wonder if your husband is a terrorist isn't going to tell her through these issues. If thinking about why some might hold these issues and if they are based in prejudice is too out of bounds for this forum or if we want to dismiss that we can have prejudices simply because we have married MENA men (this reminds me of that old ad with little Timmy learning about prejudice), than completely disregard why she and others may have these views and look at it from a statistical perspective alone. The numbers alone should be persuasive to realize these are not things are likely to happen and the issues can only negatively serve their marriage. Lingering doubts and a lack of trust never benefit a marriage, no matter how we try not to the let our spouse know we have them.

Do other women in this forum really share the concern that there husband is a terrorist or has a secret second wife and children?

Personally,.... no.

jade2004

Mar 25 2008, 09:15 AM

Olivia....while I was reading your post I sooo identified with you....The thoughts, nervousness, everything has come and gone....Is he using me, does he really love me? Does this mean that we don't love with all of our heart? I am 100% positive that I would have the same issues whether it was a man here or any man for that matter. Being scared or having 2nd thoughts or concerns doesn't mean that it won't last either. I just would like to say you aren't alone honey and I will pray for you and for you to have peace in your heart and mind.

morocco4ever

Mar 25 2008, 09:20 AM

QUOTE(aisha kandisha @ Mar 25 2008, 09:21 AM)

QUOTE(Pattu Rani @ Mar 25 2008, 07:43 AM)

The fear that hubby might have a wife and kids somewhere is definitely NOT limited to MENA or Islam - in Hinduism bigamy is very rarely tolerated though in Nepal at least it is against the law...that said it is hard to enforce because it is socially acceptable to just have a temple marriage with no papers - so yes I have had the fear that maybe he has a village wife stowed away waiting for him to get his GC, though more and more I am trusting him and in my heart I don't feel that he would do that. His family couldn't afford it, for one thing...

There is also some discussion of this on the Sub-Saharan forum. So it is definitely not a bigoted reaction against MENA men. There have even been cases of bigamy with American men who have somehow managed to have wives in different states....

But how many women married to American men are worried about their husbands having a second wife or consider it something that goes along with being married to an American man even though it happens here?

Statistics in Egypt for polygyny are often equal to estimates for the adult male gay population in the United States, but how many of us worried that our previous husbands/boyfriends were gay? I doubt many, but it is statistically more probable. Terrorism is even a greater stretch.

I think it is obvious that many of the issues addressed in this thread are based in negative stereotypes rather than any reality-based probability. Just because one can be applied to Hindus or Subsaharans as well doesn't make it less rooted in generalizations. How many of us approached relationships with American men and worried that they were pedophiles or other unlikely extremes?

Telling her how great she is or that it is "normal" to wonder if your husband is a terrorist isn't going to tell her through these issues. If thinking about why some might hold these issues and if they are based in prejudice is too out of bounds for this forum or if we want to dismiss that we can have prejudices simply because we have married MENA men (this reminds me of that old ad with little Timmy learning about prejudice), than completely disregard why she and others may have these views and look at it from a statistical perspective alone. The numbers alone should be persuasive to realize these are not things are likely to happen and the issues can only negatively serve their marriage. Lingering doubts and a lack of trust never benefit a marriage, no matter how we try not to the let our spouse know we have them.

Do other women in this forum really share the concern that there husband is a terrorist or has a secret second wife and children?

No, but on the other hand I am not on the brink of depression. And lets face it, depression makes a person irrational. It isn't okay to tell a person that to think their husband is a terrorist is okay, but it is okay to point out that her fears are based on her emotional state, and that she is a good person, and deserves to be helped through this.

Hanging in there

Mar 25 2008, 09:27 AM

QUOTE(aisha kandisha @ Mar 25 2008, 09:21 AM)

QUOTE(Pattu Rani @ Mar 25 2008, 07:43 AM)

The fear that hubby might have a wife and kids somewhere is definitely NOT limited to MENA or Islam - in Hinduism bigamy is very rarely tolerated though in Nepal at least it is against the law...that said it is hard to enforce because it is socially acceptable to just have a temple marriage with no papers - so yes I have had the fear that maybe he has a village wife stowed away waiting for him to get his GC, though more and more I am trusting him and in my heart I don't feel that he would do that. His family couldn't afford it, for one thing...

There is also some discussion of this on the Sub-Saharan forum. So it is definitely not a bigoted reaction against MENA men. There have even been cases of bigamy with American men who have somehow managed to have wives in different states....

But how many women married to American men are worried about their husbands having a second wife or consider it something that goes along with being married to an American man even though it happens here?

Statistics in Egypt for polygyny are often equal to estimates for the adult male gay population in the United States, but how many of us worried that our previous husbands/boyfriends were gay? I doubt many, but it is statistically more probable. Terrorism is even a greater stretch.

I think it is obvious that many of the issues addressed in this thread are based in negative stereotypes rather than any reality-based probability. Just because one can be applied to Hindus or Subsaharans as well doesn't make it less rooted in generalizations. How many of us approached relationships with American men and worried that they were pedophiles or other unlikely extremes?

Telling her how great she is or that it is "normal" to wonder if your husband is a terrorist isn't going to tell her through these issues. If thinking about why some might hold these issues and if they are based in prejudice is too out of bounds for this forum or if we want to dismiss that we can have prejudices simply because we have married MENA men (this reminds me of that old ad with little Timmy learning about prejudice), than completely disregard why she and others may have these views and look at it from a statistical perspective alone. The numbers alone should be persuasive to realize these are not things are likely to happen and the issues can only negatively serve their marriage. Lingering doubts and a lack of trust never benefit a marriage, no matter how we try not to the let our spouse know we have them.

Do other women in this forum really share the concern that there husband is a terrorist or has a secret second wife and children?

First,

reality versus what we want..Could some of the guys have a girl in the wings thats much younger that they are promised to?You want the reality?
Yes....sometimes our marriages ARE looked at as stepping stones to get their papers and go back home and marry from their culture.This IS a reality and has happened to western women marrying foreigners not just MENA.Does this mean that everyone will do this to their western wives?No.Have I been warned by arabs NOT TO MARRY AN ARAB?Yes.Even pregnant I have had other Algerians tell me my story will end in tragedy and that I am just being used.These are Algerians I knew BEFORE I met my husband that think I am too old for him and that even with a baby,he will leave me when he gets his citizenship....So imagine Olivia who is not someone who has alot of experiences in Egypt or with Egyptians...I have watched her analyse her husbands behavior and some of her concerns are valid.Now the terrorist one is farfetched,but the papers one isnt.Neither are her others...We need to be a source of support,honesty and love because this process is long and scary as hell

all of this is just MHO

Hanging in there

Mar 25 2008, 09:34 AM

QUOTE(morocco4ever @ Mar 25 2008, 10:20 AM)

QUOTE(aisha kandisha @ Mar 25 2008, 09:21 AM)

QUOTE(Pattu Rani @ Mar 25 2008, 07:43 AM)

The fear that hubby might have a wife and kids somewhere is definitely NOT limited to MENA or Islam - in Hinduism bigamy is very rarely tolerated though in Nepal at least it is against the law...that said it is hard to enforce because it is socially acceptable to just have a temple marriage with no papers - so yes I have had the fear that maybe he has a village wife stowed away waiting for him to get his GC, though more and more I am trusting him and in my heart I don't feel that he would do that. His family couldn't afford it, for one thing...

There is also some discussion of this on the Sub-Saharan forum. So it is definitely not a bigoted reaction against MENA men. There have even been cases of bigamy with American men who have somehow managed to have wives in different states....

But how many women married to American men are worried about their husbands having a second wife or consider it something that goes along with being married to an American man even though it happens here?

Statistics in Egypt for polygyny are often equal to estimates for the adult male gay population in the United States, but how many of us worried that our previous husbands/boyfriends were gay? I doubt many, but it is statistically more probable. Terrorism is even a greater stretch.

I think it is obvious that many of the issues addressed in this thread are based in negative stereotypes rather than any reality-based probability. Just because one can be applied to Hindus or Subsaharans as well doesn't make it less rooted in generalizations. How many of us approached relationships with American men and worried that they were pedophiles or other unlikely extremes?

Telling her how great she is or that it is "normal" to wonder if your husband is a terrorist isn't going to tell her through these issues. If thinking about why some might hold these issues and if they are based in prejudice is too out of bounds for this forum or if we want to dismiss that we can have prejudices simply because we have married MENA men (this reminds me of that old ad with little Timmy learning about prejudice), than completely disregard why she and others may have these views and look at it from a statistical perspective alone. The numbers alone should be persuasive to realize these are not things are likely to happen and the issues can only negatively serve their marriage. Lingering doubts and a lack of trust never benefit a marriage, no matter how we try not to the let our spouse know we have them.

Do other women in this forum really share the concern that there husband is a terrorist or has a secret second wife and children?

No, but on the other hand I am not on the brink of depression. And lets face it, depression makes a person irrational. It isn't okay to tell a person that to think their husband is a terrorist is okay, but it is okay to point out that her fears are based on her emotional state, and that she is a good person, and deserves to be helped through this.

I actually know a syrian who was married in syria and divorced his wife and got a b1 visa and married a girl here and the girl here (who speaks arabic)caught him talking back home to the ex saying he couldnt wait to leave his present wife and go back to her(this was an imam's brother)He now is married to an American non arab(took him marrying 2 times in the us so far cause the moroccan left him and pulled his papers.)The american refused to listen to anyone who warned her and shes still married to him.He's awaiting his citizenship papers now...Let s wonder what he will do when he gets them..LOL

Hot Guy

Mar 25 2008, 09:34 AM

QUOTE(bridget @ Mar 25 2008, 08:35 AM)

I'm still waiting for the quote from Condeleza Rice.

i really can not find it i wonder why
but i think there are so many people heard about that not just me

morocco4ever

Mar 25 2008, 09:46 AM

QUOTE(wahrania @ Mar 25 2008, 10:27 AM)

QUOTE(aisha kandisha @ Mar 25 2008, 09:21 AM)

QUOTE(Pattu Rani @ Mar 25 2008, 07:43 AM)

The fear that hubby might have a wife and kids somewhere is definitely NOT limited to MENA or Islam - in Hinduism bigamy is very rarely tolerated though in Nepal at least it is against the law...that said it is hard to enforce because it is socially acceptable to just have a temple marriage with no papers - so yes I have had the fear that maybe he has a village wife stowed away waiting for him to get his GC, though more and more I am trusting him and in my heart I don't feel that he would do that. His family couldn't afford it, for one thing...

There is also some discussion of this on the Sub-Saharan forum. So it is definitely not a bigoted reaction against MENA men. There have even been cases of bigamy with American men who have somehow managed to have wives in different states....

But how many women married to American men are worried about their husbands having a second wife or consider it something that goes along with being married to an American man even though it happens here?

Statistics in Egypt for polygyny are often equal to estimates for the adult male gay population in the United States, but how many of us worried that our previous husbands/boyfriends were gay? I doubt many, but it is statistically more probable. Terrorism is even a greater stretch.

I think it is obvious that many of the issues addressed in this thread are based in negative stereotypes rather than any reality-based probability. Just because one can be applied to Hindus or Subsaharans as well doesn't make it less rooted in generalizations. How many of us approached relationships with American men and worried that they were pedophiles or other unlikely extremes?

Telling her how great she is or that it is "normal" to wonder if your husband is a terrorist isn't going to tell her through these issues. If thinking about why some might hold these issues and if they are based in prejudice is too out of bounds for this forum or if we want to dismiss that we can have prejudices simply because we have married MENA men (this reminds me of that old ad with little Timmy learning about prejudice), than completely disregard why she and others may have these views and look at it from a statistical perspective alone. The numbers alone should be persuasive to realize these are not things are likely to happen and the issues can only negatively serve their marriage. Lingering doubts and a lack of trust never benefit a marriage, no matter how we try not to the let our spouse know we have them.

Do other women in this forum really share the concern that there husband is a terrorist or has a secret second wife and children?

First,

reality versus what we want..Could some of the guys have a girl in the wings thats much younger that they are promised to?You want the reality?
Yes....sometimes our marriages ARE looked at as stepping stones to get their papers and go back home and marry from their culture.This IS a reality and has happened to western women marrying foreigners not just MENA.Does this mean that everyone will do this to their western wives?No.Have I been warned by arabs NOT TO MARRY AN ARAB?Yes.Even pregnant I have had other Algerians tell me my story will end in tragedy and that I am just being used.These are Algerians I knew BEFORE I met my husband that think I am too old for him and that even with a baby,he will leave me when he gets his citizenship....So imagine Olivia who is not someone who has alot of experiences in Egypt or with Egyptians...I have watched her analyse her husbands behavior and some of her concerns are valid.Now the terrorist one is farfetched,but the papers one isnt.Neither are her others...We need to be a source of support,honesty and love because this process is long and scary as hell

all of this is just MHO

So with everything you have seen, and what you have been told by your husbands people, why did you marry an Arab?

Hanging in there

Mar 25 2008, 09:50 AM

QUOTE(morocco4ever @ Mar 25 2008, 10:46 AM)

QUOTE(wahrania @ Mar 25 2008, 10:27 AM)

QUOTE(aisha kandisha @ Mar 25 2008, 09:21 AM)

QUOTE(Pattu Rani @ Mar 25 2008, 07:43 AM)

The fear that hubby might have a wife and kids somewhere is definitely NOT limited to MENA or Islam - in Hinduism bigamy is very rarely tolerated though in Nepal at least it is against the law...that said it is hard to enforce because it is socially acceptable to just have a temple marriage with no papers - so yes I have had the fear that maybe he has a village wife stowed away waiting for him to get his GC, though more and more I am trusting him and in my heart I don't feel that he would do that. His family couldn't afford it, for one thing...

There is also some discussion of this on the Sub-Saharan forum. So it is definitely not a bigoted reaction against MENA men. There have even been cases of bigamy with American men who have somehow managed to have wives in different states....

But how many women married to American men are worried about their husbands having a second wife or consider it something that goes along with being married to an American man even though it happens here?

Statistics in Egypt for polygyny are often equal to estimates for the adult male gay population in the United States, but how many of us worried that our previous husbands/boyfriends were gay? I doubt many, but it is statistically more probable. Terrorism is even a greater stretch.

I think it is obvious that many of the issues addressed in this thread are based in negative stereotypes rather than any reality-based probability. Just because one can be applied to Hindus or Subsaharans as well doesn't make it less rooted in generalizations. How many of us approached relationships with American men and worried that they were pedophiles or other unlikely extremes?

Telling her how great she is or that it is "normal" to wonder if your husband is a terrorist isn't going to tell her through these issues. If thinking about why some might hold these issues and if they are based in prejudice is too out of bounds for this forum or if we want to dismiss that we can have prejudices simply because we have married MENA men (this reminds me of that old ad with little Timmy learning about prejudice), than completely disregard why she and others may have these views and look at it from a statistical perspective alone. The numbers alone should be persuasive to realize these are not things are likely to happen and the issues can only negatively serve their marriage. Lingering doubts and a lack of trust never benefit a marriage, no matter how we try not to the let our spouse know we have them.

Do other women in this forum really share the concern that there husband is a terrorist or has a secret second wife and children?

First,

reality versus what we want..Could some of the guys have a girl in the wings thats much younger that they are promised to?You want the reality?
Yes....sometimes our marriages ARE looked at as stepping stones to get their papers and go back home and marry from their culture.This IS a reality and has happened to western women marrying foreigners not just MENA.Does this mean that everyone will do this to their western wives?No.Have I been warned by arabs NOT TO MARRY AN ARAB?Yes.Even pregnant I have had other Algerians tell me my story will end in tragedy and that I am just being used.These are Algerians I knew BEFORE I met my husband that think I am too old for him and that even with a baby,he will leave me when he gets his citizenship....So imagine Olivia who is not someone who has alot of experiences in Egypt or with Egyptians...I have watched her analyse her husbands behavior and some of her concerns are valid.Now the terrorist one is farfetched,but the papers one isnt.Neither are her others...We need to be a source of support,honesty and love because this process is long and scary as hell

all of this is just MHO

So with everything you have seen, and what you have been told by your husbands people, why did you marry an Arab?

Because I believe he loves me.Because I think not everyone is the same.But its IRRESPONSIBLE not to discuss peoples concerns...

TamaraLovesAdam

Mar 25 2008, 09:51 AM

http://translate.google.com/translate?hl=e...%258A%26hl%3Den

heres the website link in English about warning Americans marrying Egyptians
Washington warns its citizens living marriage, drinking water and microbus
CAIRO - Editor TOM - State Department warned American citizens from fraud on the Internet aimed to establish relations with the Americans and then marry them in order to immigrate to America.

وقد حذر التقرير الأمريكيين الذين يزورون مصر من مياه الشرب وأوضاع الصحة العامة والمرور المصري وسيارات "الميكروباص" نتيجة ارتفاع نسبة الحوادث بها. The report warned Americans who visit Egypt from drinking water and public health conditions and traffic Egyptian and cars "microbus" as a result of the high rate of accidents.

وذكرت الخارجية في تقريرها المختصر أنها تلقت تقارير تفيد زيادة المشاكل الناجمة عن عمليات زواج تمت بين مصريين وأمريكيين، وأنها رصدت "عديدا من حالات الإساءة ضد الزوج أو الزوجة الأمريكية، وغالبا ما ينتهي الزواج بالطلاق عندما يحصل المصري على البطاقة الخضراء (الجرين كارد) أو الجنسية الأمريكية". The Foreign Affairs in its brief that it had received reports of increasing problems arising from marriage between the Egyptian and American, and that it made "numerous cases of abuse against the husband or wife of America, and often ends marriage when divorce is happening Egyptian Green Card (Green Card) or nationality America."It warned foreign citizens from these relations, particularly those that arise on the Internet, said: "It is not surprising that the Egyptians to start marriage for the purpose of immigration. Relations are evolving on the Internet as a means of exploitation and manipulation in particular."

وقالت وكالة "امريكا ان ارابيك" نقلا عن تقرير الخارجية الأمريكية :"إن الحكومة المصرية تحث الأمريكيين ممن يقابلون مصريين على الإنترنت أو أثناء سياحتهم في البلد ، على التمهل في التعرف على هؤلاء قبل أن يفكروا في مسألة الزواج". The agency said "America that flag_fr.gif" the report quoted Foreign America: "The Egyptian government urges Americans Iqablon Egyptians on the Internet or during portal in the country, Amble in the identification of prior to think of the question of marriage."

وأضافت الخارجية في تقريرها، الذي نقلت بعض مصادره عن السفارة الأمريكية في القاهرة: "هذه الحالات تحدث بشكل أكيد في العلاقات المبنية على الاتصالات عبر الإنترنت والقليل من التفاعل وجها لوجه". The Foreign Affairs in its report, which quoted some confiscated from the American embassy in Cairo: "These cases occur in relations firm based on communication via the Internet and little interaction and face-to-face."

ولفتت الخارجية الأمريكي إلى عدم قانونية "زواج الغش" المتزايد، سواء من جانب الطرف الأمريكي أو المصري، وقالت: "إن الدخول في عقد زواج يرمي في الأصل لتسهيل الهجرة للولايات المتحدة هو أمر ضد القانون الأمريكي وقد ينتج عنه عقوبات تشمل الغرامة وسجن الطرف المصري أو الأمريكي". The dearth of State to the illegality of "marriage fraud" increased, either by the party or the Egyptian-American, said: "The entering into a marriage was originally designed to facilitate the migration to the United States is against American law may result in penalties including fines and imprisonment of Egyptian party or American. "
The report was launched strong criticism of the conditions of public health, said: "The whereabouts of the hospitals emergency or intensive care are limited in Egypt."

وعن المستشفيات في مصر، جاء في نص التقرير: "المستشفيات خارج القاهرة والإسكندرية وشرم الشيخ تقل كثيرا عن المستويات الأمريكية. ومعظم المراكب السياحية في نهر النيل ليس بها حتى طبيب، لكن بعضها يعين ممارسا عاما بدون مؤهلات محددة. والمستشفيات في الأقصر وأسوان غير كافية وغير مجهزة ولا يوجد حتى مستشفيات أو أماكن طبية في بعض الأماكن والمدن الأخرى". And hospitals in Egypt, stated in the text of the report: "hospital outside Cairo, Alexandria, Sharm el-Sheikh are far below the levels of America. Most tourist boats in the River Nile is not even a doctor, but some general practitioners appointed without specific qualifications. Hospitals in Luxor and Aswan inadequate and There is even equipped hospitals or medical places in some places and other cities. "

وعن المياه في مصر، قال التقرير: "مياه الصنابير في مصر غير صالحة للشرب. ومن الأفضل شرب المياه المعبأة أو مياه تم غليها وتنقيتها". And the water in Egypt, the report said: "Egypt in tap water unfit for drinking. Preferably drinking bottled water or water was boiling and purification."

And on the security situation in Egypt, the report advised Americans to exercise caution in some places in Egypt, especially tourism, in spite of the weakness of the violent tides that hit Egypt in the late eighties and nineties.

وكررت الخارجية نصائحها للأمريكيين إزاء المرور في مصر وفي شوارع القاهرة، خصوصا سيارات الركوب الجماعي المعروفة باسم الميكروباص. Foreign reiterated advice to the Americans about the traffic in Egypt and in the streets of Cairo, especially passenger cars collective known as the microbus.

Hanging in there

Mar 25 2008, 09:51 AM

QUOTE(morocco4ever @ Mar 25 2008, 10:46 AM)

QUOTE(wahrania @ Mar 25 2008, 10:27 AM)

QUOTE(aisha kandisha @ Mar 25 2008, 09:21 AM)

QUOTE(Pattu Rani @ Mar 25 2008, 07:43 AM)

The fear that hubby might have a wife and kids somewhere is definitely NOT limited to MENA or Islam - in Hinduism bigamy is very rarely tolerated though in Nepal at least it is against the law...that said it is hard to enforce because it is socially acceptable to just have a temple marriage with no papers - so yes I have had the fear that maybe he has a village wife stowed away waiting for him to get his GC, though more and more I am trusting him and in my heart I don't feel that he would do that. His family couldn't afford it, for one thing...

There is also some discussion of this on the Sub-Saharan forum. So it is definitely not a bigoted reaction against MENA men. There have even been cases of bigamy with American men who have somehow managed to have wives in different states....

But how many women married to American men are worried about their husbands having a second wife or consider it something that goes along with being married to an American man even though it happens here?

Statistics in Egypt for polygyny are often equal to estimates for the adult male gay population in the United States, but how many of us worried that our previous husbands/boyfriends were gay? I doubt many, but it is statistically more probable. Terrorism is even a greater stretch.

I think it is obvious that many of the issues addressed in this thread are based in negative stereotypes rather than any reality-based probability. Just because one can be applied to Hindus or Subsaharans as well doesn't make it less rooted in generalizations. How many of us approached relationships with American men and worried that they were pedophiles or other unlikely extremes?

Telling her how great she is or that it is "normal" to wonder if your husband is a terrorist isn't going to tell her through these issues. If thinking about why some might hold these issues and if they are based in prejudice is too out of bounds for this forum or if we want to dismiss that we can have prejudices simply because we have married MENA men (this reminds me of that old ad with little Timmy learning about prejudice), than completely disregard why she and others may have these views and look at it from a statistical perspective alone. The numbers alone should be persuasive to realize these are not things are likely to happen and the issues can only negatively serve their marriage. Lingering doubts and a lack of trust never benefit a marriage, no matter how we try not to the let our spouse know we have them.

Do other women in this forum really share the concern that there husband is a terrorist or has a secret second wife and children?

First,

reality versus what we want..Could some of the guys have a girl in the wings thats much younger that they are promised to?You want the reality?
Yes....sometimes our marriages ARE looked at as stepping stones to get their papers and go back home and marry from their culture.This IS a reality and has happened to western women marrying foreigners not just MENA.Does this mean that everyone will do this to their western wives?No.Have I been warned by arabs NOT TO MARRY AN ARAB?Yes.Even pregnant I have had other Algerians tell me my story will end in tragedy and that I am just being used.These are Algerians I knew BEFORE I met my husband that think I am too old for him and that even with a baby,he will leave me when he gets his citizenship....So imagine Olivia who is not someone who has alot of experiences in Egypt or with Egyptians...I have watched her analyse her husbands behavior and some of her concerns are valid.Now the terrorist one is farfetched,but the papers one isnt.Neither are her others...We need to be a source of support,honesty and love because this process is long and scary as hell

all of this is just MHO

So with everything you have seen, and what you have been told by your husbands people, why did you marry an Arab?

If she cannot talk here about her fears,where can she talk?

charles!

Mar 25 2008, 10:01 AM

QUOTE(wahrania @ Mar 25 2008, 09:51 AM)

If she cannot talk here about her fears,where can she talk?

good question.

moody

Mar 25 2008, 10:01 AM

I think we've all had fears...rational or irrational. I really think this is a case of too much time to think. Your own mind can be your worst enemy. Trust me, mine has been on occasion.

brnidokiegurl

Mar 25 2008, 10:07 AM

QUOTE(charlesandnessa @ Mar 25 2008, 09:01 AM)

QUOTE(wahrania @ Mar 25 2008, 09:51 AM)

If she cannot talk here about her fears,where can she talk?

good question.

or was this question directed to wahrania because i was wondering the same

morocco4ever

Mar 25 2008, 10:09 AM

QUOTE(moody @ Mar 25 2008, 11:01 AM)

I think we've all had fears...rational or irrational. I really think this is a case of too much time to think. Your own mind can be your worst enemy. Trust me, mine has been on occasion.

Sadly discussing your fears here has become scary. We have people suggesting that something is wrong with her and we have people telling her that her fears are based on facts. She came here for help and it seems too many people are giving her advise based on the other peoples stories. This is not someone elses story, this is hers, and she needs to sort out what is fact, what is caused stories about other peoples situations, and what is based on ill given advise. What she needs is the tools to decide for herself.

Hanging in there

Mar 25 2008, 10:23 AM

QUOTE(morocco4ever @ Mar 25 2008, 11:09 AM)

QUOTE(moody @ Mar 25 2008, 11:01 AM)

I think we've all had fears...rational or irrational. I really think this is a case of too much time to think. Your own mind can be your worst enemy. Trust me, mine has been on occasion.

Sadly discussing your fears here has become scary. We have people suggesting that something is wrong with her and we have people telling her that her fears are based on facts. She came here for help and it seems too many people are giving her advise based on the other peoples stories. This is not someone elses story, this is hers, and she needs to sort out what is fact, what is caused stories about other peoples situations, and what is based on ill given advise. What she needs is the tools to decide for herself.

people need to ask questions freely.....its the surpression of opinions that causes greater harm

brnidokiegurl

Mar 25 2008, 10:25 AM

also this is not entirely just her story i believe to some extent it is all of our stories or anyones story really that is comtemplateing marriage,we each have to do our own experiencing, im sure not going to base to much on something from a chat room, that someone elses friend told someone else about a friend they knew 5 years ago, what works for one may not the other and our minds can put enough questions and doubts without someone else adding to it. We have all heard the bad stories and on the other hand we have heard the good stories, i think i will choose to go with the good thoughts to strive for.

Hanging in there

Mar 25 2008, 10:28 AM

QUOTE(brnidokiegurl @ Mar 25 2008, 11:25 AM)

also this is not entirely just her story i believe to some extent it is all of our stories or anyones story really that is comtemplateing marriage,we each have to do our own experiencing, im sure not going to base to much on something from a chat room, that someone elses friend told someone else about a friend they knew 5 years ago, what works for one may not the other and our minds can put enough questions and doubts without someone else adding to it. We have all heard the bad stories and on the other hand we have heard the good stories, i think i will choose to go with the good thoughts to strive for.

I think Olivia appreciates the input and this forum........i know I do

brnidokiegurl

Mar 25 2008, 10:36 AM

We are all different, we each do the best we can to get thru this

nana_356

Mar 25 2008, 10:41 AM

Please no one bash me, but I must admit that I am guilty by association, my cousin wanted to avoid the militiary so he came to the US and used a woman for green card. I was only 9 at the time, but I remember that the signs were there she was so in love that she ignored it. My family knew what he was doing, and it was like nothing to them, they played along with. So yes this is common.
Follow your hearts ladys, us woman have amazing instincts, but sometimes we allow our hearts to over-ride our instincts. If it feels wrong-it propably is.

Jenn!

Mar 25 2008, 10:46 AM

QUOTE(nana_356 @ Mar 25 2008, 11:41 AM)

Please no one bash me, but I must admit that I am guilty by association, my cousin wanted to avoid the militiary so he came to the US and used a woman for green card. I was only 9 at the time, but I remember that the signs were there she was so in love that she ignored it. My family knew what he was doing, and it was like nothing to them, they played along with. So yes this is common.
Follow your hearts ladys, us woman have amazing instincts, but sometimes we allow our hearts to over-ride our instincts. If it feels wrong-it propably is.

I'm interested to hear how your family feels about your current relationship given their prior involvement in your cousin's green card fraud.

Hanging in there

Mar 25 2008, 10:53 AM

QUOTE(nana_356 @ Mar 25 2008, 11:41 AM)

Please no one bash me, but I must admit that I am guilty by association, my cousin wanted to avoid the militiary so he came to the US and used a woman for green card. I was only 9 at the time, but I remember that the signs were there she was so in love that she ignored it. My family knew what he was doing, and it was like nothing to them, they played along with. So yes this is common.
Follow your hearts ladys, us woman have amazing instincts, but sometimes we allow our hearts to over-ride our instincts. If it feels wrong-it propably is.

shame on your family for being complicit in that

morocco4ever

Mar 25 2008, 10:53 AM

I think we hear too much gloom and doom, and that everyone is being used for a green card. I highly doubt that she is totally unaware of this or she wouldn't be having this issue to begin with. I read over and over again from Wahrania that everyone is being used but her.

Olivia, yes it is a fact that some are used, but there are alot of people in real relationships. Don't judge your relationship on the over zealous opinions of gloom and doomers. Rather look at your relationship as it is.

I am married to a Moroccan, and have been now for over 3 years. We are in one of those relationships that everyone said was for a visa, and it is of the opinion here that most Moroccans on con artists.

My husband could very easily get up and leave me now. He could remain in the US and he could get his citizenship without any more assistance from me. He has friends and family that live here in the US, where to go isn't a barrier. So why, when he could have it all now, doesn't he leave me? Plain and simple, we are in love. If I had listened to what everyone had to say about my relationship I would have dumped his A$$ a long time ago. Instead I stepped back and looked at my relationship from a third party point of view. Is is an unusual union? Most definately! In all appearances would someone assume it was for a visa only? Certainly! So why didn't I run? I can see his love and dedication. I can see, after he has been here over a year that I always have been, and always will be his life. He has never shown me anything different. And from a third party point of view there is no doubt it is real.

This is what I am saying. It doesn't hurt to be aware of the possibilities, but don't let it rule your decisions. Don't let the opinions sway you to always believe the worst, find out for yourself.

Hanging in there

Mar 25 2008, 10:55 AM

QUOTE(Jenn! @ Mar 25 2008, 11:46 AM)

QUOTE(nana_356 @ Mar 25 2008, 11:41 AM)

Please no one bash me, but I must admit that I am guilty by association, my cousin wanted to avoid the militiary so he came to the US and used a woman for green card. I was only 9 at the time, but I remember that the signs were there she was so in love that she ignored it. My family knew what he was doing, and it was like nothing to them, they played along with. So yes this is common.
Follow your hearts ladys, us woman have amazing instincts, but sometimes we allow our hearts to over-ride our instincts. If it feels wrong-it propably is.

I'm interested to hear how your family feels about your current relationship given their prior involvement in your cousin's green card fraud.

jenn,they feel Americans arent human beings and put on thid planet to be used......

nana_356

Mar 25 2008, 10:58 AM

QUOTE(Jenn! @ Mar 25 2008, 10:46 AM)

QUOTE(nana_356 @ Mar 25 2008, 11:41 AM)

Please no one bash me, but I must admit that I am guilty by association, my cousin wanted to avoid the militiary so he came to the US and used a woman for green card. I was only 9 at the time, but I remember that the signs were there she was so in love that she ignored it. My family knew what he was doing, and it was like nothing to them, they played along with. So yes this is common.
Follow your hearts ladys, us woman have amazing instincts, but sometimes we allow our hearts to over-ride our instincts. If it feels wrong-it propably is.

I'm interested to hear how your family feels about your current relationship given their prior involvement in your cousin's green card fraud.

I am married to an african-american christian man, and I am pregnant, so my family pretty much dissowned me. Its very rare that a egyptian woman marry outside her race and religeon, so I am the black sheep pf the family.
And we were not in the US, when my cousin was doing this. He was here 11 years before we came.

QUOTE(wahrania @ Mar 25 2008, 10:53 AM)

QUOTE(nana_356 @ Mar 25 2008, 11:41 AM)

Please no one bash me, but I must admit that I am guilty by association, my cousin wanted to avoid the militiary so he came to the US and used a woman for green card. I was only 9 at the time, but I remember that the signs were there she was so in love that she ignored it. My family knew what he was doing, and it was like nothing to them, they played along with. So yes this is common.
Follow your hearts ladys, us woman have amazing instincts, but sometimes we allow our hearts to over-ride our instincts. If it feels wrong-it propably is.

shame on your family for being complicit in that

I agree, its quite embarassing!

Hanging in there

Mar 25 2008, 10:59 AM

QUOTE(morocco4ever @ Mar 25 2008, 11:53 AM)

I think we hear too much gloom and doom, and that everyone is being used for a green card. I highly doubt that she is totally unaware of this or she wouldn't be having this issue to begin with. I read over and over again from Wahrania that everyone is being used but her.

Olivia, yes it is a fact that some are used, but there are alot of people in real relationships. Don't judge your relationship on the over zealous opinions of gloom and doomers. Rather look at your relationship as it is.

I am married to a Moroccan, and have been now for over 3 years. We are in one of those relationships that everyone said was for a visa, and it is of the opinion here that most Moroccans on con artists.

My husband could very easily get up and leave me now. He could remain in the US and he could get his citizenship without any more assistance from me. He has friends and family that live here in the US, where to go isn't a barrier. So why, when he could have it all now, doesn't he leave me? Plain and simple, we are in love. If I had listened to what everyone had to say about my relationship I would have dumped his A$$ a long time ago. Instead I stepped back and looked at my relationship from a third party point of view. Is is an unusual union? Most definately! In all appearances would someone assume it was for a visa only? Certainly! So why didn't I run? I can see his love and dedication. I can see, after he has been here over a year that I always have been, and always will be his life. He has never shown me anything different. And from a third party point of view there is no doubt it is real.

This is what I am saying. It doesn't hurt to be aware of the possibilities, but don't let it rule your decisions. Don't let the opinions sway you to always believe the worst, find out for yourself.

Morocco 4 ever...I was USED before..I was battered,threatened,drug by my hair and punched in the street in the face and have an order of protection STILL against a palestinian who brought women to my bed when I was at work and threatened to take equity from my house when I wouldnt AOS with him....You have not seen the ugly side of this.Just jackie and I have.....voices of dissent are NECESSARY

morocco4ever

Mar 25 2008, 11:01 AM

QUOTE(wahrania @ Mar 25 2008, 11:59 AM)

QUOTE(morocco4ever @ Mar 25 2008, 11:53 AM)

I think we hear too much gloom and doom, and that everyone is being used for a green card. I highly doubt that she is totally unaware of this or she wouldn't be having this issue to begin with. I read over and over again from Wahrania that everyone is being used but her.

Olivia, yes it is a fact that some are used, but there are alot of people in real relationships. Don't judge your relationship on the over zealous opinions of gloom and doomers. Rather look at your relationship as it is.

I am married to a Moroccan, and have been now for over 3 years. We are in one of those relationships that everyone said was for a visa, and it is of the opinion here that most Moroccans on con artists.

My husband could very easily get up and leave me now. He could remain in the US and he could get his citizenship without any more assistance from me. He has friends and family that live here in the US, where to go isn't a barrier. So why, when he could have it all now, doesn't he leave me? Plain and simple, we are in love. If I had listened to what everyone had to say about my relationship I would have dumped his A$$ a long time ago. Instead I stepped back and looked at my relationship from a third party point of view. Is is an unusual union? Most definately! In all appearances would someone assume it was for a visa only? Certainly! So why didn't I run? I can see his love and dedication. I can see, after he has been here over a year that I always have been, and always will be his life. He has never shown me anything different. And from a third party point of view there is no doubt it is real.

This is what I am saying. It doesn't hurt to be aware of the possibilities, but don't let it rule your decisions. Don't let the opinions sway you to always believe the worst, find out for yourself.

Morocco 4 ever...I was USED before..I was battered,threatened,drug by my hair and punched in the street in the face and have an order of protection STILL against a palestinian who brought women to my bed when I was at work and threatened to take equity from my house when I wouldnt AOS with him....You have not seen the ugly side of this.Just jackie and I have.....voices of dissent are NECESSARY

So does that qualify all of us as being used?

brnidokiegurl

Mar 25 2008, 11:02 AM

QUOTE(wahrania @ Mar 25 2008, 09:55 AM)

QUOTE(Jenn! @ Mar 25 2008, 11:46 AM)

QUOTE(nana_356 @ Mar 25 2008, 11:41 AM)

Please no one bash me, but I must admit that I am guilty by association, my cousin wanted to avoid the militiary so he came to the US and used a woman for green card. I was only 9 at the time, but I remember that the signs were there she was so in love that she ignored it. My family knew what he was doing, and it was like nothing to them, they played along with. So yes this is common.
Follow your hearts ladys, us woman have amazing instincts, but sometimes we allow our hearts to over-ride our instincts. If it feels wrong-it propably is.

I'm interested to hear how your family feels about your current relationship given their prior involvement in your cousin's green card fraud.

jenn,they feel Americans arent human beings and put on thid planet to be used......

how can u keep speaking for everyone? THey who? did you know these people i guess im just not getting it , does the whole culture think the same and apparently you know most of them

morocco4ever

Mar 25 2008, 11:03 AM

QUOTE(brnidokiegurl @ Mar 25 2008, 12:02 PM)

QUOTE(wahrania @ Mar 25 2008, 09:55 AM)

QUOTE(Jenn! @ Mar 25 2008, 11:46 AM)

QUOTE(nana_356 @ Mar 25 2008, 11:41 AM)

Please no one bash me, but I must admit that I am guilty by association, my cousin wanted to avoid the militiary so he came to the US and used a woman for green card. I was only 9 at the time, but I remember that the signs were there she was so in love that she ignored it. My family knew what he was doing, and it was like nothing to them, they played along with. So yes this is common.
Follow your hearts ladys, us woman have amazing instincts, but sometimes we allow our hearts to over-ride our instincts. If it feels wrong-it propably is.

I'm interested to hear how your family feels about your current relationship given their prior involvement in your cousin's green card fraud.

jenn,they feel Americans arent human beings and put on thid planet to be used......

how can u keep speaking for everyone? THey who? did you know these people i guess im just not getting it , does the whole culture think the same and apparently you know most of them

This is my issue. You can't speak for an entire culture based on some.

moody

Mar 25 2008, 11:05 AM

I don't think it's necessarily that they think Americans aren't humans but I do think that *some* view us as privileged and that we should share the wealth. Extreme poverty can make one an opportunist real easily. It may also go hand in hand with the idea that Western women are loose, whorish, not to be trusted, etc. Why would anyone show real loyalty to someone they could never trust? To some we are disposable, a means to an end. Mind you I'm not talking about the majority of MENA but it does happen and some ppl from this region do have this attitude.

Hanging in there

Mar 25 2008, 11:08 AM

QUOTE(moody @ Mar 25 2008, 12:05 PM)

I don't think it's necessarily that they think Americans aren't humans but I do think that *some* view us as privileged and that we should share the wealth. Extreme poverty can make one an opportunist real easily. It may also go hand in hand with the idea that Western women are loose, whorish, not to be trusted, etc. Why would anyone show real loyalty to someone they could never trust? Mind you I'm not talking about the majority of MENA but it does happen and some ppl from this region do have this attitude.

Exactly Moody,if you can dehumanise someone,it becomes easier to victimise them

QUOTE(morocco4ever @ Mar 25 2008, 12:01 PM)

QUOTE(wahrania @ Mar 25 2008, 11:59 AM)

QUOTE(morocco4ever @ Mar 25 2008, 11:53 AM)

I think we hear too much gloom and doom, and that everyone is being used for a green card. I highly doubt that she is totally unaware of this or she wouldn't be having this issue to begin with. I read over and over again from Wahrania that everyone is being used but her.

Olivia, yes it is a fact that some are used, but there are alot of people in real relationships. Don't judge your relationship on the over zealous opinions of gloom and doomers. Rather look at your relationship as it is.

I am married to a Moroccan, and have been now for over 3 years. We are in one of those relationships that everyone said was for a visa, and it is of the opinion here that most Moroccans on con artists.

My husband could very easily get up and leave me now. He could remain in the US and he could get his citizenship without any more assistance from me. He has friends and family that live here in the US, where to go isn't a barrier. So why, when he could have it all now, doesn't he leave me? Plain and simple, we are in love. If I had listened to what everyone had to say about my relationship I would have dumped his A$$ a long time ago. Instead I stepped back and looked at my relationship from a third party point of view. Is is an unusual union? Most definately! In all appearances would someone assume it was for a visa only? Certainly! So why didn't I run? I can see his love and dedication. I can see, after he has been here over a year that I always have been, and always will be his life. He has never shown me anything different. And from a third party point of view there is no doubt it is real.

This is what I am saying. It doesn't hurt to be aware of the possibilities, but don't let it rule your decisions. Don't let the opinions sway you to always believe the worst, find out for yourself.

Morocco 4 ever...I was USED before..I was battered,threatened,drug by my hair and punched in the street in the face and have an order of protection STILL against a palestinian who brought women to my bed when I was at work and threatened to take equity from my house when I wouldnt AOS with him....You have not seen the ugly side of this.Just jackie and I have.....voices of dissent are NECESSARY

So does that qualify all of us as being used?

NO NO AND NO NO NO

Hanging in there

Mar 25 2008, 11:10 AM

QUOTE(moody @ Mar 25 2008, 12:05 PM)

I don't think it's necessarily that they think Americans aren't humans but I do think that *some* view us as privileged and that we should share the wealth. Extreme poverty can make one an opportunist real easily. It may also go hand in hand with the idea that Western women are loose, whorish, not to be trusted, etc. Why would anyone show real loyalty to someone they could never trust? To some we are disposable, a means to an end. Mind you I'm not talking about the majority of MENA but it does happen and some ppl from this region do have this attitude.

compared to a girl who cant leave her house without an escort....loose is an understatement...

We also are able to drive around freely,take jobs we want and we are essentially equal to men in our culture(well sort of)

Where did you come up with this opinion Moody and how?

nana_356

Mar 25 2008, 11:12 AM

Wharania, it isnt fair to say "they" There are many good hearted MENA, with open minds and open hearts. I have read many of your posts, and you sound like such a negative person. My goodness! Every culture has its good and bad. I am sharing my personal experience because I am also a woman that wants what many other woman on this forum want, family,companionship and happiness. So I decided to dangerously open myself up to critisizem, but also to questions. There are not many Middle eastern woman that will openly speak on this, so I am
I did not post my comment for people catogorize all arabs as american hating, green card sucking vultures!

moody

Mar 25 2008, 11:15 AM

I've come up with this opinion because I've dealt with Arabs for several years and sadly I've heard these types of things with my own ears. Men calling women "bitches" for no reason other than they are American. Just utter disrespect based on stereotypical crap that they've learned. Americans aren't the only ones filled with stereotypical BS.

Again, not the majority but sad nonetheless.

Ganja_Girl

Mar 25 2008, 11:16 AM

This is to lighten the mood, but, being an avid reader of true crimes, I love to read the most horrific ones, and the ones that I used to share with my ex-husband, I think sharing is important in a relationship. I still like to share with my now husband, here is a few of my favorite bed time stories, so if they are up to no good, they will at least think really hard about just using me.

Katherine Mary Knight was not the first person to skin and eat her lover. A long line of killer-cannibals preceded her. I like to read the part about the police finding the whole thing, she had set the table for dinner, and had him as the main dish. That will make anybody think hard

Mary Ann Cotton is another wonderful evening read, Murdered between 15-21 of her close relatives by arsenic poisoning. Why? For money, personal dislike or they got in her way over something she wanted. Arsenic poisoning is not a good way to die. Green card darling, why of course, let me get you some tea my one and only!!!!!!!

brnidokiegurl

Mar 25 2008, 11:16 AM

I would think if u go to any other region, say Italy, China etc they will each have a view and/or opinion of us as americans, based on maybe some they knew once, the media etc and prob we do the same here to others.....this is life, opinions are just that opinions. I may know a man(or woman) from xxx culture, i see him as my best friend always there to help me etc, you may see this man from xxx as stupid, worthless, cheats etc because he is xxx but do you know him for who he is, generalizing, what others have told you of people from xxx or is everyone from xxx this bad, im afraid its one of those never ending stories with no answers, in a perfect world..............

Jenn!

Mar 25 2008, 11:17 AM

QUOTE(Ganja_Girl @ Mar 25 2008, 12:16 PM)

This is to lighten the mood, but, being an avid reader of true crimes, I love to read the most horrific ones, and the ones that I used to share with my ex-husband, I think sharing is important in a relationship. I still like to share with my now husband, here is a few of my favorite bed time stories, so if they are up to no good, they will at least think really hard about just using me.

Katherine Mary Knight was not the first person to skin and eat her lover. A long line of killer-cannibals preceded her. I like to read the part about the police finding the whole thing, she had set the table for dinner, and had him as the main dish. That will make anybody think hard

Mary Ann Cotton is another wonderful evening read, Murdered between 15-21 of her close relatives by arsenic poisoning. Why? For money, personal dislike or they got in her way over something she wanted. Arsenic poisoning is not a good way to die. Green card darling, why of course, let me get you some tea my one and only!!!!!!!

What a refreshing change of topic!

Hanging in there

Mar 25 2008, 11:19 AM

QUOTE(nana_356 @ Mar 25 2008, 12:12 PM)

Wharania, it isnt fair to say "they" There are many good hearted MENA, with open minds and open hearts. I have read many of your posts, and you sound like such a negative person. My goodness! Every culture has its good and bad. I am sharing my personal experience because I am also a woman that wants what many other woman on this forum want, family,companionship and happiness. So I decided to dangerously open myself up to critisizem, but also to questions. There are not many Middle eastern woman that will openly speak on this, so I am
I did not post my comment for people catogorize all arabs as american hating, green card sucking vultures!

YOU JUST SAID YOUR COUSIN VICTIMISED AN AMERICAN AND YOUR FAMILY WAS IN ON IT>>>

WHAT?
I am negative?
No one says all people are like this...but you have just laid out something that a member of your family did to an American.Where is the outrage?
This is why there is hellish APs for innocent people and your cousin should be deported.Shame on the people in your family that advocated this garbage and get off your hypocritical high horse...Your family victimised an American and your cousin commited a crime

morocco4ever

Mar 25 2008, 11:20 AM

QUOTE(moody @ Mar 25 2008, 12:05 PM)

I don't think it's necessarily that they think Americans aren't humans but I do think that *some* view us as privileged and that we should share the wealth. Extreme poverty can make one an opportunist real easily. It may also go hand in hand with the idea that Western women are loose, whorish, not to be trusted, etc. Why would anyone show real loyalty to someone they could never trust? To some we are disposable, a means to an end. Mind you I'm not talking about the majority of MENA but it does happen and some ppl from this region do have this attitude.

Again Moody you hit the nail on the head. *Some* But what has been stressed here time and time again that this can be true for all cultures, not just MENA. My ex is a prime example. He feels the world owes him, and he doesn't care who he uses and who he takes down in the process. He is American.

My in laws are wonderful. They have told me that they had an idea of what a western woman was like, and that I came and showed them another side that they didn't know about. Isn't this what it is about? We have been told, we have heard, we have been warned............. But what it really boils down to is what a person, not a culture, is capable of doing. Why are we forming so many negative opinions on some really wonderful people?

brnidokiegurl

Mar 25 2008, 11:25 AM

QUOTE(Jenn! @ Mar 25 2008, 10:17 AM)

QUOTE(Ganja_Girl @ Mar 25 2008, 12:16 PM)

This is to lighten the mood, but, being an avid reader of true crimes, I love to read the most horrific ones, and the ones that I used to share with my ex-husband, I think sharing is important in a relationship. I still like to share with my now husband, here is a few of my favorite bed time stories, so if they are up to no good, they will at least think really hard about just using me.

Katherine Mary Knight was not the first person to skin and eat her lover. A long line of killer-cannibals preceded her. I like to read the part about the police finding the whole thing, she had set the table for dinner, and had him as the main dish. That will make anybody think hard

Mary Ann Cotton is another wonderful evening read, Murdered between 15-21 of her close relatives by arsenic poisoning. Why? For money, personal dislike or they got in her way over something she wanted. Arsenic poisoning is not a good way to die. Green card darling, why of course, let me get you some tea my one and only!!!!!!!

What a refreshing change of topic!

and its almost lunch.......i will admit tho i did educate ahmed who loraina bobbitt was

morocco4ever

Mar 25 2008, 11:27 AM

QUOTE(Ganja_Girl @ Mar 25 2008, 12:16 PM)

This is to lighten the mood, but, being an avid reader of true crimes, I love to read the most horrific ones, and the ones that I used to share with my ex-husband, I think sharing is important in a relationship. I still like to share with my now husband, here is a few of my favorite bed time stories, so if they are up to no good, they will at least think really hard about just using me.

Katherine Mary Knight was not the first person to skin and eat her lover. A long line of killer-cannibals preceded her. I like to read the part about the police finding the whole thing, she had set the table for dinner, and had him as the main dish. That will make anybody think hard

Mary Ann Cotton is another wonderful evening read, Murdered between 15-21 of her close relatives by arsenic poisoning. Why? For money, personal dislike or they got in her way over something she wanted. Arsenic poisoning is not a good way to die. Green card darling, why of course, let me get you some tea my one and only!!!!!!!

QUOTE(brnidokiegurl @ Mar 25 2008, 12:25 PM)

QUOTE(Jenn! @ Mar 25 2008, 10:17 AM)

QUOTE(Ganja_Girl @ Mar 25 2008, 12:16 PM)

This is to lighten the mood, but, being an avid reader of true crimes, I love to read the most horrific ones, and the ones that I used to share with my ex-husband, I think sharing is important in a relationship. I still like to share with my now husband, here is a few of my favorite bed time stories, so if they are up to no good, they will at least think really hard about just using me.

Katherine Mary Knight was not the first person to skin and eat her lover. A long line of killer-cannibals preceded her. I like to read the part about the police finding the whole thing, she had set the table for dinner, and had him as the main dish. That will make anybody think hard

Mary Ann Cotton is another wonderful evening read, Murdered between 15-21 of her close relatives by arsenic poisoning. Why? For money, personal dislike or they got in her way over something she wanted. Arsenic poisoning is not a good way to die. Green card darling, why of course, let me get you some tea my one and only!!!!!!!

What a refreshing change of topic!

and its almost lunch.......i will admit tho i did educate ahmed who loraina bobbitt was

Do you own a Bobbitt cutlery set too?

nana_356

Mar 25 2008, 11:31 AM

QUOTE(wahrania @ Mar 25 2008, 11:19 AM)

QUOTE(nana_356 @ Mar 25 2008, 12:12 PM)

Wharania, it isnt fair to say "they" There are many good hearted MENA, with open minds and open hearts. I have read many of your posts, and you sound like such a negative person. My goodness! Every culture has its good and bad. I am sharing my personal experience because I am also a woman that wants what many other woman on this forum want, family,companionship and happiness. So I decided to dangerously open myself up to critisizem, but also to questions. There are not many Middle eastern woman that will openly speak on this, so I am
I did not post my comment for people catogorize all arabs as american hating, green card sucking vultures!

YOU JUST SAID YOUR COUSIN VICTIMISED AN AMERICAN AND YOUR FAMILY WAS IN ON IT>>>

WHAT?
I am negative?
No one says all people are like this...but you have just laid out something that a member of your family did to an American.Where is the outrage?
This is why there is hellish APs for innocent people and your cousin should be deported.Shame on the people in your family that advocated this garbage and get off your hypocritical high horse...Your family victimised an American and your cousin commited a crime.

Like I said I was 9, what were you doing when you were 9?? I was playing with my barbies. And like I said guilty by association. And yes I do agree that he should be deported, but what he did has nothing to do with me, so how am I a hypocrit??? please explain

brnidokiegurl

Mar 25 2008, 11:31 AM

not yet but i think he got the jest of the story, he goes OOOOOMMMMMMMMMMGGGGGGG if anything now i would think he thinks american women are very mean and u dont mess with them and maybe he will pass the word to the others

nana_356

Mar 25 2008, 11:41 AM

I am taking some of the other members advice, and ignoring wahrania, where there is wahrania there is drama!
So if any of you ladies (not wahrania) have any questions in regards to anything please fell free to ask!

Hanging in there

Mar 25 2008, 11:45 AM

QUOTE(nana_356 @ Mar 25 2008, 12:41 PM)

I am taking some of the other members advice, and ignoring wahrania, where there is wahrania there is drama!
So if any of you ladies (not wahrania) have any questions in regards to anything please fell free to ask!

yeah I invented your cousins antics....please avoid me...I coached your cousin .....your family listened to me in standing by and allowing it

QUOTE(brnidokiegurl @ Mar 25 2008, 12:31 PM)

not yet but i think he got the jest of the story, he goes OOOOOMMMMMMMMMMGGGGGGG if anything now i would think he thinks american women are very mean and u dont mess with them and maybe he will pass the word to the others

actually Lorena was south american and her husband was american LOL

wife_of_mahmoud

Mar 25 2008, 11:45 AM

QUOTE(wahrania @ Mar 25 2008, 10:59 AM)

You have not seen the ugly side of this.Just jackie and I have.....voices of dissent are NECESSARY

This is incorrect. We have more than 2 members who have had ugly experiences -- some of them have told their stories on this forum.

However, neither Jackie nor the others are spending an inordinate amount of time weighing in with page after page of dire, emotionally overwrought "warnings" about fraud and other criminal behavior every single time a member posts about having doubts or problems.

You certainly have a right to your opinion. But much of it seems to be "baggage" from your own previous relationship that ended unhappily. If you keep dragging it around with you like this, it's bound to have a very negative effect on your current relationship -- your husband is going to pick up on your vibes that this may be the way you feel about him. Even your children are likely to pick up on this, and they are half Arab themselves -- this could be very destructive to them.

I'm very sorry that you had to go through such a heartbreaking experience -- I read your accounts of what happened, and it was truly tragic.

But you are projecting all of that pain and anger onto other people's relationships. Maybe it's a defense mechanism -- to reassure yourself that you are not alone; that many people are about to get used and abused just like you did. I just think you are taking it wayyyyyyyy too far. Have you considered seeing a therapist to help you work through your hurt and resentment ? This kind of negative emotion isn't good for you or your baby.

-MK

Hanging in there

Mar 25 2008, 11:49 AM

QUOTE(brnidokiegurl @ Mar 25 2008, 12:31 PM)

not yet but i think he got the jest of the story, he goes OOOOOMMMMMMMMMMGGGGGGG if anything now i would think he thinks american women are very mean and u dont mess with them and maybe he will pass the word to the others

Ganja_Girl

Mar 25 2008, 11:49 AM

The first book my husband ever saw me read was The Serial Killer Files. Nice big book, lots of pictures, I remember him looking at the book, and said, you really do love to read this stuff. He just hasn't been groomed on the finer works of true crime. I also love horror books, I will get him to read that soon also. Evil runs both ways, what about the poor guy that marries for love, and gets killed for insurance money? If you read any number of books, you will be so scared you would not even leave your home, much less marry.

a1angied

Mar 25 2008, 11:50 AM

WOW WOM that was very power and very well stated. God have definetly given you a way with words to say the truth in kindness but directly to the point. I agree with what you have voiced 100%!

nana_356

Mar 25 2008, 11:50 AM

QUOTE(wife_of_mahmoud @ Mar 25 2008, 11:45 AM)

QUOTE(wahrania @ Mar 25 2008, 10:59 AM)

You have not seen the ugly side of this.Just jackie and I have.....voices of dissent are NECESSARY

This is incorrect. We have more than 2 members who have had ugly experiences -- some of them have told their stories on this forum.

However, neither Jackie nor the others are spending an inordinate amount of time weighing in with page after page of dire, emotionally overwrought "warnings" about fraud and other criminal behavior every single time a member posts about having doubts or problems.

You certainly have a right to your opinion. But much of it seems to be "baggage" from your own previous relationship that ended unhappily. If you keep dragging it around with you like this, it's bound to have a very negative effect on your current relationship -- your husband is going to pick up on your vibes that this may be the way you feel about him. Even your children are likely to pick up on this, and they are half Arab themselves -- this could be very destructive to them.

I'm very sorry that you had to go through such a heartbreaking experience -- I read your accounts of what happened, and it was truly tragic.

But you are projecting all of that pain and anger onto other people's relationships. Maybe it's a defense mechanism -- to reassure yourself that you are not alone; that many people are about to get used and abused just like you did. I just think you are taking it wayyyyyyyy too far. Have you considered seeing a therapist to help you work through your hurt and resentment ? This kind of negative emotion isn't good for you or your baby.

-MK

Well said!!

Hanging in there

Mar 25 2008, 11:51 AM

QUOTE(wife_of_mahmoud @ Mar 25 2008, 12:45 PM)

QUOTE(wahrania @ Mar 25 2008, 10:59 AM)

You have not seen the ugly side of this.Just jackie and I have.....voices of dissent are NECESSARY

This is incorrect. We have more than 2 members who have had ugly experiences -- some of them have told their stories on this forum.

However, neither Jackie nor the others are spending an inordinate amount of time weighing in with page after page of dire, emotionally overwrought "warnings" about fraud and other criminal behavior every single time a member posts about having doubts or problems.

You certainly have a right to your opinion. But much of it seems to be "baggage" from your own previous relationship that ended unhappily. If you keep dragging it around with you like this, it's bound to have a very negative effect on your current relationship -- your husband is going to pick up on your vibes that this may be the way you feel about him. Even your children are likely to pick up on this, and they are half Arab themselves -- this could be very destructive to them.

I'm very sorry that you had to go through such a heartbreaking experience -- I read your accounts of what happened, and it was truly tragic.

But you are projecting all of that pain and anger onto other people's relationships. Maybe it's a defense mechanism -- to reassure yourself that you are not alone; that many people are about to get used and abused just like you did. I just think you are taking it wayyyyyyyy too far. Have you considered seeing a therapist to help you work through your hurt and resentment ? This kind of negative emotion isn't good for you or your baby.

-MK

You are right...but I just flip when I se