Hi all,

It's been a long time since I posted.

Unfortunately this comes with bad news. Things at home have been really bad for several months and time to file I751 opens next week. Basically my husband is refusing to sign the form and telling me just to go back to England. I'm completely devastated. I gave up everything to be with him, I can't lose everything I've built over the last 3 years. I'm in law school here, have made some wonderful friends and have started a life.

My attorney says that I cannot file by myself as we have not seperated and there has been no physical violence towards me, although a lot of emotional abuse on a daily basis.

I wondered if anyone has any experience with this kind of situation, or knows of someone who has?

Thank you
Kate

I'm sorry to hear about your difficult marriage. You have, however, taken the right step already in consulting an attorney. Maybe you will get some more feedback here, but most people on this board file as a couple and have no direct experience with separate filing.

If your husband does not want to sign the form jointly, you have no choice but to file alone.

In order to do this you need to get divorced and include the divorce decree in your application.

You do not have to be abused to file alone. The only burden of proof for removing conditions is to prove your marriage was bona-fide.

It seems to me your only choice is to get divorced, file alone and prove to them your marriage was legitamate.

PS, talk to a family divorce attorney too... as long as your divorce is uncontested, you could be divorced within 3 weeks in some counties.

Good luck to you.

I can relate to your post in some ways. My marriage has been more difficult than anticipated and there are times when I have wanted to give up. Have you thought about counseling? You both have made a commitment by getting married and have both sacrificed much to be together. I would just encourage you to try to salvage the relationship before making the leap to separation and/or divorce. Communication is very important and sometimes you need help learning how to communicate effectively - even with people you've known a long time. We all bring our own style and interpretation to everything and it can cause conflict - even in the best of situations.

In any event, I wish you all the luck in this. If you want to PM I would be happy to tell you some of the things that have worked for me and hubby getting a better communication going.

Best wishes,
Kathleen

Thank you for the replies. He is not willing to go to counselling and I feel that I've done everything I can do to save the relationship. I know that you can file if you are divorced, however, where I live the quickest you can get divorced is 90 days and that is if it is uncontested. If we do get divorced, things will definately be contested. There is a lot of bitterness on his part. My 90 days to file for removal of conditions starts on March 22nd, so I really have very little time.
I'm hoping that when I meet with the attorney on Thursday, he will give me some more concrete answers. I really don't know what to do now, I don't want to have to give up everything I've built here over the last 3 years, but at the same time, I know I can't stay in the relationship as it is, it is literally making me physically ill with the stress and not knowing what I'm going home to everyday.
I wonder what would happen if I can somehow persuade him to sign the form and file together, and we seperate before the petition is approved. Nebraska service center is only processing July 2006 at the moment.

I'm so sorry to hear that things haven't worked out with your marriage the way you envisaged. If the marriage is completely over is it possible you can resolve things amicably with your husband so that he can help rather than hinder your permanent residency application. You have built a life there in good faith and I'm sure that you and he can work through your separation more effectively if both of you are on the same page on this - whether that means working things out or divorcing. Best of luck!

you have two options:

1. reconcile and save your marriage

or, if impossible anymore

2. file a divorce as soon as possible so you can have your divorce decree in your hand and file I-751 alone. Make sure your divorce will take short period only hopefully before your're GC expires.

I sent you a private message.

If you are late filing because you are waiting for your Divorce to be finalized then USCIS will not regect your application for being late... you just have to write a letter explaining why you are filing late and include it with your apllication to remove the conditions...

I wish you good luck at this difficult time...

Kez

And if you are willing to wait out for the divorce - don't let it go uncontested - you need to have your rights honored fully. He has sworn to support you and should be made to do so - hire a competent attorney to represent your interests. Good Luck

So sorry that you're going through this difficult time.

It is so hard to undergo both: immigration and heartache! not to mention away from our families! but this is life.

USCIS cannot adjudicate a jointly filed I-751 if, in the meantime, the parties have divorced. In the event that the petition is approved, and conditions to residence removed, but later USCIS finds out that they approved said joint petition after the parties have divorced....they would be required to rectify the mistake. I'm thinking here when applying for citizenship...if marriage and divorce papers are presented and the dates are matched up against the date of obtaining permanent residency....it could cause problems down the road.

I would not advise even thinking about this option...not to mention that it is against TOS to advise you on that.

If he is willing to sign a joint petition, and you later separate and begin the divorce, as long as the petition is approved prior to the divorce becoming final you are acting within the scope of regulations. If he is not willing to cooperate with removing your conditions, it would be wise to try your best to wrap up the divorce quickly so that you can get a decree and promptly file a waiver. If you do file a joint petition, however, and the divorce becomes final before any decision is made on the application to remove conditions, then request that it be withdrawn and replace it with a waiver (accompanied by the divorce decree and all corroborating evidence of the bonafides of marriage).

Kate, I am sorry to hear your situations. Consult a family attorney for divorce and try to go for uncontested. Find an immigration lawyer to weigh your option as well. Please be strong. Good luck.