Hi All,

I've been waiting up all night for the news, and it's in: Ira's visa is approved. There's some other strange news to go along with it, but I'll wait until the visa is in hand before posting comments on a public forum.

Anyway, I wanted you guys to be the first to know that, theoretically, Step One should finally be done in about two weeks when Ira's visa arrives in the mail.

And on that happy note, I'm going to bed so I can try to get 2 hours of sleep before work tomorrow.

Z

Congratulations!

However, I smell something shady here.

congratulations

Congratulations, Ira and Zhenya! The waiting is almost in the past for you.
Sasha

Congratulations! Dying to hear what the "strange news" is, especially with our own interview just on the horizon.

Congratulations

Aw, come on, you can't start a story and not finish it.

But, since I'm married to a Russian woman, I'll shut up about it until the visa is in hands. Superstition sucks. Congrats!

It's not so much superstition, as not knowing who lurks here and not wanting to piss somebody off with the details of Ira's specific experience. I will say that, based on all I read here, none of you are likely to encounter this particular problem. Those of you who I already know from previous threads and with upcoming interviews can feel free to PM me. I don't mind sharing the details - just I dont want to do it publicly until everything's all set.

Congratulations to you and Irina!!! Also, curious to learn what the "strange news" is......

Congratulations anyway

CONGRATS!!! Woo hoo!! I am so happy for you!!

Good news! Or should I hold off the until the other shoe drops?

My congratulations to you and your wife! As others, I wonder what the strange issue was.

Great for you,
My fiancee, Natalia, was also approved at the embassy today too. Probable she saw Ira there:) Good luck to the both of you
Bob

Hey Bob, congratulations!!

More for more great news!

Congratulations! I guess today was a good day for approvals.

Wow...a 2fer day! Congrats!

Congrats Bob

congratulations

Ira just picked up her visa from the DHL... So here's the strange thing that happened.

The document checking and interview process was fairly normal. What's your name? Age? His name? Age? Where does he work? What does he do? Etc... Pretty much a VisaJourney Textbook example of an interview.

Except that the interviewer also felt that Ira was too young to get married. He called her a child, and spent several minutes trying to convince her that getting married would be a mistake. Obviously, since Ira has her visa, he relented, but before yielding he felt it necessary to advise her that returning to Russia before the visa expires would be the "best course of action."

When Ira told me about this, my blood just boiled over. I can understand checking to ensure that Ira isn't a criminal or terrorist. I can understand, although I don't like, why they check my finances. I think determining the legitimacy of our relationship is a bit much - especially calling girls in for a 5 minute interview from thousands of miles away - but what can you do? But, in my mind, judging the decision that two legal adults have made as being wrong, and trying to convince one of those adults to reverse the decision... Well, it's far far far beyond the scope of their duties.

So, that's the scoop.

Z

Congratulations

Wow. Just wow. That's the biggest load of horseshit I've seen in awhile. No wonder you wanted to hold off until she had the visa in hand.

Are you thinking of filing a complaint with the state department?

Absolutely I am... But I'll be waiting for her to arrive on US soil and for us to be married before attempting that.

Z

Could it be that perhaps this guy was single and just trying to "show her around Moscow" after her interview?

If you feel like filing a complaint, than do it. But, in all seriousness, it's done and over with, so don't waste your (as my wife would say) "bad energy" on dealing with this stuff. You guys got the visa, so just move on.

If she is pretty young, in all probability, you're going to have to deal with this again from somewhere else. It's their problem, not yours. I know they're overstepping their bounds a little, but in all seriousness..... WHO CARES??? You got the visa, now go enjoy it!!!

I disagree. It's over for this couple, but at least dozens and dozens, if not hundreds, of women just like her are going to be exposed to this douchebag. It's harassment pure and simple, and to me the "bad energy" would be to let the guy keep doing it. This is a much different situation than, say, a harassing Doctor at one of the medical clinics, where there is no realistic chance of a complaint making a difference. This is the embassy, our turf, and the State Department needs to know about it.

Ira feels the same way you do and your wife do, Slim.

But, during the years I spent in Russia, I missed a lot of changes the US went through in recent years. Changes for the worse, and changes which went entirely unchallenged. And of my friends and family, nobody saw them until I pointed them out. Probably because I'm looking around through the juxtaposed eyes of a former Russian resident.

Holding your head down and hoping you get through an unfair system unnoticed and unscathed is a very Russian attitude. Wrongs must be identified, and then righted, otherwise things continue to get worse. That's how democracy functions. Letting the government trample all over people - even if it's not you - is just wrong.

Mox is right - how many others will have to deal with this person? How many will be harassed, extorted, or worse by others who follow his example? These aren't just some strangers that we'll never meet (not that that matters a lot morally), these are the women and men who we love -- who are now or soon will be our spouses. These are the people our VJ friends love and to whom have committed their lives.

I just can't... I won't... let that go.

Z

Crazy! How old is Ira to be "a child and not be getting married?"

She's 22. I'm 29.

By all means, if you feel a complaint will do something, then file one.

But, one of the things I've noticed about the changing America is that for every complaint filed, there's another douchebag there waiting to take that one's place, and the only thing complaints do is waste your time and add yet another piece of paperwork to your file to be scrutinized. Then the next douchebag who is adjudicating your case who ends up being one that "looks for stuff" searches extra hard to find it. And your easy, albeit hassled, approval case turns into a nightmare.

I'm all for accountability, especially in a govt. setting, but something like this is one of those things that is a system malfunction, not a personnel malfunction. And I realize too the only way to change the system is by changing the personnel, but if you can't change the procedures that allow those personnel to be placed in that position, you're simply wasting your time. (And possibly adding heat to your case.)

Good luck. Keep us posted. I'd like to see if complaints filed actually do something. Maybe that's what happened with Meditsina and maybe that's how it finally got changed. But, I have a feeling it had more to do with everything else that changes government policy... money. Reduced medicals due to the rumors of misconduct equal reduced profits. Reduced profits equal change in personnel. Change in personnel equals new procedures and a nice clinic.

America isn't like that anymore. Never really was, just had the illusion of being that way. Now, even the illusion is starting to slip. Perception no longer sets the acceptable standard. Dollars, cents (not sense) and with this Administration, who knows what else now sets the standard.

America is a new place, that's for sure!

Oh dear god, not another summer/spring marriage !!!!

I can't disagree with this more. This is a personnel problem, not a system problem, if I ever saw one. The interviewer's job is (among other things) to determine the validity of the relationship. Statements and so-called "advice" to return to Russia are an abuse of power. I'm pretty sure there's nothing in the interviewers handbook to encourage this kind of behavior. I don't read the other regional forums, but this is the most egregious abuse of interviewer power that I've read in awhile. Boils my blood, and it wasn't even my girl who went through it. Nadya's older, but I hope she doesn't get this mouth-breather.

How old was the C/O? Had to be pretty old, I'm guessing. Maybe felt fatherly? Not defending him, mind you! I guess I could see a suggestion (not a grilling like she experienced) if she were 18 or 19 but at 22 there are many Russian girls already married and having children.

Is that really any different than our interviewer at the AOS hearing saying, "Gosh, you guys are so young. Do you know what you're getting into?"

Slightly different; I'd have been mildly offended on hearing that but not enough to make a big deal of it. The difference is that the consulate interviewer was actively trying to dissuade her from marrying, and actively trying to persuade her to abandon her visa. Your AOS interviewer was just being nosy.

Dunno...to me, it's nobody's effing business to stick their nose into my relationship as long as we're both consenting adults.

Well I guess I'll chime in on a serious note. It is his business to probe into the relationship, in fact, it is his job. It can easily be argued that he was trying to shake her and have her admit she only wanted a green card somehow.

I can't say I like it, but step back a long ways, then look at the big picture.

That I might have been able to let slide by as a shocked reaction by an American person who isn't accustomed to seeing people below the age of 30 get married and 40 have babies (I'm exaggerating, obviously).

It's one thing to have a "Do you know what you're getting into?" blushingly and happily replied to with a "Yeah, we love each other and couldn't imagine being apart." In fact, something like this could be a check-mark in the interviewer's list reinforcing his or her belief that the relationship is genuine.

But spending several minutes trying to convince one or both of you that you were making a mistake? That's crossing some lines.

Z

I agree!

I know what you're saying, but I disagree for 2 reasons:

1) If this were an approved tactic, we'd hear about it more often. This is the first time I think any of us have heard of this, whereas we always hear about the normal "what does he do for a living" type questions.

2) There has to be a line. What if he hit on her, and then claimed he was just trying to shake her and see if the relationship was real? Or asked her for money to see if he could shake her and see if she would try to bribe her way into the US? There's a certain level of conduct we should expect from government officials (even though I know they often fail to live up to these levels), and this guy's conduct was below that level.

You're too fast for me -- and hit on my points precisely!

Z

My comments. First, I would not assume the male interviewer was an American...maybe a Russian employee of which there are many at the Embassy.

Second, many young Russian women get married BEFORE the age of 22. It's very common. When a woman hits 30 in Russia, she's already an "old maid." So any concern about being too young is BS.

The interviewer had some agenda which is not clear and may depend on whether he was a Russian or American.

I doubt you can "hold him accountable." As it is a "he said' "she said" situation. You'd need a witness...but writing your senator never hurts.

Has to be an American, the interviewers are consulate officers. They do use foreign nationals to collect and do some processing of the paperwork, but the job of interviewing is done by an American always. This was one of the directives to the State Department, that they would not "farm out" interviews to contractors or foreign nationals.

Agreed. But multiple complaints from multiple sources would be pretty strong evidence though. Hopefully this will be just one of several complaints against the guy. Or if it were the only complaint, perhaps being pulled into an office and just being asked about it would warn him to knock it off.

I was 22 too when i passed interview and my husband was 28...thats not a kid...Its crazy...
But could it be because she looked lost on interview?or scared?Is she kind of shy person?anyways,thats crazy...
But maybe they just trying to protect girls from pimps?there are so many that bringing girls here as fiancee and then selling them ...I do not mean that you would ever do this..but i think thats a reason they make process this hassle..
I am shocked though how rude they can be...thats nonsence....

The only time I've heard of girls being brought here and pimped out have been from "other" visas. I've yet to hear of a single case where a girl was brought over on a K-1 and then trafficked into becoming a sex slave.

There have been several cases of women being abused or forced into sex with their husbands/fiancees, but I have not heard of any of them being trafficked.

There are numerous cases where girls have come over using work or student visas, etc. and ended up being forced into prostitution. In the majority of those cases it's a foreign-based scheme to begin with where the girls, some of whom even pay up front, end up being forced to do something other than what they originally signed on for, sometimes even being pimped.

Either way, perhaps increased scrutiny, even to the point of what could be perceived as harassment could be exactly what keeps the K-1s honest. Was the guy over the line? He could've been. But, maybe he was doing something like a "random @$$#ole check" to see if the girl would react a certain way. I still think it was something more to the effect of asking some annoying questions to probe into her responses and even lead her a little in an attempt to reveal something like a sham-marriage. Or, it could've just been something like "hey little girl, do you want some candy? I get off at 4:30... maybe we could meet up."

congratulations to everybody!!!