Hey guys, first time in this forum. Hello!

I won't be working once I enter with the K1 and after getting married, though I will have the temp working visa. At this time, it's just not something that's doable. I was thinking of maybe working a few part-time hours at a coffee shop or something down the block, but we'll have to see how busy I can keep myself for the first year!

The husband said I don't need to work, but we both agree if I don't work, then I need to keep busy and not become a lazy fat a$$ watching TV and eating bon bons. And we're both very health and fitness-minded people, like to look good and sexilicious for each other. I would like to take some more schooling, either get an MA, or even just going to cooking school or taking some veterinary assistant courses.


I've planned to volunteer at a local rescue shelter, do yoga, learn to cook, and look at housing with the realtor when hubby is at work.

So for those of you who are not working, what do YOU do to keep busy?

I have the same issue - I know I will need to work but I am not realistically expecting to find work before Christmas after I move out in June because of when we will be filing and the length of time it will take me to find a job anyway.

I want to have a go at setting up my own jewellery business, join a gym, decorate, work in the garden, do volunteer work, go back to school... I am sure I want to do other things as well but I don't know what. I am also tempted to join a church because although I am not religious, I think the sense of community spirit in a church is awesome and I would love to be a part of that... either that or find a Buddhist temple because I have more of an affinity to Buddhism than Christianity... Just something I am interested in I guess...

Also I want to find some geek friends in my area who like to roleplay so if anyone has any ideas on how I can find geeks then that would be great

I'll be spending quite a bit of time setting up the house, starting the garden, etc... and we've agreed that while I'm not working, and Dave's working full time, housework will be mainly my area; I'm all for a fair split, but not if I'm home and he's not

I've also made contact with a volunteer association that teaches English to adults, mainly new migrants (ironically ), and they're champing at the bit to have me - apparently they'll even take people with no teacher training, they're so desperate for teachers, so someone with my experience is a bit unusual!
so I'll get into that as soon as I can

and then, yeah, the usual - we'll hopefully find a church, or at least a church community (I'm a Christian, but not a great fan of church, so might find something a bit more alternative), and spend time with family, and so on

Is this paid? Sounds great - would love to look into that if you have any links

As for church - they have all kinds of crazy churches in the US so I am sure you can find something a little less drab than we get here

I'm really excited to work on my health and fitness level actually. I've got some extra weight to drop, and even though I'm doing a good job of it right now while I work full time, it will be even better when I don't have a job. I'm also really looking forward to being a housewife! How silly does that sound?! I can't wait to cook and clean though! I have been looking into volunteer work as well. I think I want to find something to do with horses! I LOVE horses.

I have no idea about a job later on though. I'm not really trained to do anything in specific so it may be difficult, but I've got some great ideas for my own business so we'll see how that pans out! Maybe I'll spend time testing my cupcake recipes!

Actually, does anyone know if it's possible to do unpaid/voluntary work for a regular company without a work permit? I'd like to get back into architecture since that's what my degree is in but I lack work experience, so if I could use the first few months that I'm unable to work to gain work experience in an architect's office I'd love to do that.

I'd love to decorate/set up house/do the garden...only I won't be able to as we're going to be staying at Alex's parents...d'oh! I'll still be able to prepare meals and cook and clean, though, which are chores I love to do

You can volunteer at a place where it is a job that would normally not be paid and will not become a paid job after you receive your EAD, from my understanding. I volunteered doing living history activities at local historical sites and taking living history programmes into primary schools. (I made contact with a local historical site and offered to volunteer). I also spent a lot of time just becoming familiar with the area - driving around, trying to re-orient myself (I had no sense of direction when I arrived - all of my reference points were changed), learning about my new community, doing the things on my own like getting my SSN, going for biometrics (first trip to Atlanta on my own!). I re-organized the house and furniture, and started the garden. Joe had a bird feeder set up, and I discovered that I enjoyed birdwatching. We now have 9 feeding stations and lots of birds! I also spent a lot of time talking to my friends on line - it was a continuity that helped me to adjust to my new home because it was still familiar. I also had my cats with me that helped, and unfortunately, my eldest had a very rough drive down and was sick for the next 6 weeks after our arrival so I spent a lot of time with her as well. She is buried in a small garden behind the house. I really regretted not knowing more about better vets in the area as the first clinic we went to did not impress me. I didn't discover the one I use now until after she died., I don't know if it would have made a difference or not, but I can't help wondering.

Hehehe, I also spend a lot of time trying to avoid doing housework - it don't enjoy it at all! Laundry is fine, cooking is fine, cleaning house sucks, however, while Joe works long hours earning money, it is the job I do to contribute to the household. I still only work very part time.

well - i can tell you what i am doing during the day (not working / seeking employment and childless): in the mornings while Eric gets ready i do a quick morning-clean-up and prepare our lunch boxes. then we bike to the university together (6miles each way). he works at the university and i spend the day in the library, looking for jobs. i usually leave in the early afternoon, bike back home and do laundry, prepare dinner, water the plants in the yard and do some decorating and stuff.
so at the moment i'm the housewife and my goal is to send out 5+ applications per week.

plus i do some of our finances and take care of general stuff.

i am looking into tutoring german at the university after spring break. if i don't find a job soon i will try to find a parttime job in a coffee job or something to keep me busy and to bring some money in my account.

we are in a fairly cool church, but lately we are looking for another church as we both need more meat, less milk.

it is really hard on me to stay at home, in the house while eric's at work. by the time he gets home i'm desperate for social contact and he needs some time to unwind and to relax - a really good basis for a really bad fight.

the place I found is voluntary, Aly - I don't know if they have anyone paid on their books, but obviously I'm not at that stage yet!

I think some architects' offices take on unpaid interns, which should fit the bill - you could look into it, Alex/Rachel

and I'm looking forward to keeping house too! I do so much work here in my share house that is either unnoticed or undone in the next twenty minutes - I still do it because I hate to live in a dump, but it's difficult... can't WAIT til it gets done and STAYS done (or at least, only gets undone by one of us )

Thank you for the feedback, Kathryn41 and StillThePrettiest! I hope there's an architect's office near me taking on interns, then, or else it looks as if I'm out of luck!

tucson_chick - 5 applications a week is a good goal -I wish you the best of luck!

Oh my. I hope you all have some wealthy fiances. Sounds like a lot of hobbies and freetime here. Might I suggest some crosswords, watching water boil, catching flies, counting leaves, etc. I'm joking of course. You all should take some time to adjust and make future plans. I'd give Sasha all the time she wants. But, she's very eager to continue working and help contribute. I'm such a lucky guy. though, I will try to keep her from working for the first month or 2. Don't know if she'll agree.

oh, don't worry; I've got all manner of schemes to help contribute... when it's legal

even before then, I'll do what I can - volunteering with an English-teaching agency will hopefully get me American experience, and an American reference at the end, which will be of use later (assuming I stay in the teaching field ), and of course having some enforced spare time will allow me to research jobs and hopefully be in a far better position when I start to apply than if I had to do everything straight off the bat...

plus, I'm great at budgeting, and making a little go a long way - Dave's not BAD at that, and we both have savings, but I intend to make them go as far as possible

Agnes - I can totally relate to this - when I was out there for the summer Jeremy would come home and I would be raring to go - I wanted to go out and do things and go to the store and all he wanted to do was put his feet up!!! He was pretty patient but I am sure we fought because of it - I wasn't very understanding



How did you know this is what I intend to do for the rest of my life when I am in the US? I am still researching places that will pay me to do it...

It isn't necessarily that simple. I am fortunate in that my husband does make a very good salary and we actually have to be aware of the tax implications when I do work (I work part time). That being said, however, when I arrived I did not have work authorization until I had been here 6 months so it was not even a possibility to work. I worked every single year of my adult life supporting myself until I moved here in two fields that are highly specialized - one so specialized that there is no US equivalent. The other is other highly specialized and thus there are very few opportunities available in my area. So, if I don't NEED to 'settle' for any job working at minimum wage with no benefits, no holidays, long hours PLUS do all off the house and yard maintenance and cooking, then why do so? I would love to continue working in the fields in which I have training and experience - and am working part time in the one that is available, however, I firmly believe that if it is at all possible, it is important to work at something you enjoy doing since you will spending so many hours doing so rather than just work for work. I am very fortunate that I have that option and can appreciate that there are others who do not. I certainly do not mean any slight to those who do not have that option.

I also have a friend who is in a similar situation to me. She has been here 3 years, is highly trained and would love more than anything to have a job right now - any job. In spite of her many applications to all sorts of employers - even local restaurants - she is still looking. It is not necessarily that simple.

Wow I see some of you guys are definitely alot better off than we were. When we first moved here I was able to work but it took me 8 months to find a job due to the area we live in. I don't have a degree in anything. All I have is a 3 year business certificate. But it seemed that because my resume wasn't the typical american one and it looked funny on the application the big corporations steered clear of me. I couldn't even get a job at walmart, not even a call back despite working in retail since I was 15.

It also took my husband over 2 months to find a 20-30 hr a week job. And he is a certified fitness professional. He's been working that same job ever since we got over here so our finances were VERY limited. It has helped out alot now that I finally got a job even though it's minimum wage.

But for the 8 months I didn't work since we didn't have any money to spend I had to get creative. Thank God we live with his family so there would always be someone around the house. 3 days a week they would babysit his niece's new born son. So I would help out with him as much as I could during the day. Other than that I would jump at every chance to go to the store every day to pick up one or two things, go with his family members places...even if they just had to go pay bills.

We live in NC so summer time there's no way you can do anything outside. So I was confined to the indoors. After cleaning our room, doing laundry, sorting CDs in alphabetical order, reorganizing the closet (this case my suitcase doubles as my closet) every few days, polishing shoes, ironing towels, doing my hair and make-up...all there was left was well the computer (VJ!!!) and TV. I can tell you want comes on when on what channel every afternoon....(don't worry we don't have cable so it's only 5 channels).

In the end I've ended up setting up a little 'business' if you can call it that. Once his family found out I could do hair and braid they started paying me 5-10 dollars to do their hair. They save money and I make money. Now it has extended to friends and friends of friends.

But all I can say is I'm sooooooooo greatful to be working now. Even though it's not a very good job it's better than sitting at home being bored. Not saying that if my husband gets a good paying job and we have some kids I wouldn't want to quit or cut down my hours.....because I might.

I'm also planning to go back to school this summer to become a CNA. It's fast, cheap, the job you get pays just a little bit better but the benefits (read: health insurance) are awesome.

Yeah, for us it has nothing to do with having so much money that I don't have to work. I'm going to have to work, but I'm obviously not going to do so until I'm legal!

When I was there for 6 weeks, this is my typical schedule:

Morning
Make breakfast for hubby, either send hubby to work or he walked to work. Go back to bed, wake up and then breakfast. watch TV and then start preparing for lunch.

Afternoon
Huby come home for lunch. Then send hubby back to office. Grocery shopping or window shoping. Or else I will bake cookies or muffin. Laundry and cleaning house.

Evening
Watch TV, prepare dinner. Pick hubby up from office. Go home and have dinner. Shower and more TV. Hubby will be too tired to go out. But we do go out from time to time for ice cream or movies. Or just window shopping.

Thats my typical day. We have munches on Wednesday with friends. Saturday is more relaxing, we will go for breakfast outside or Saturday market. Or else we will just spend time at home- he will be busy with his gadget stuff and I will either read or watch TV.

And yes, I have been thinking about working too once I am in the states. Hubby said I can either work or go back to school. Just keeping our option open at the moment.

if you're wealthy you can always redecorate the house

If you live in a bad neighbourhood you can sit and stare out of the window to make sure all the hood rats that run up and down the street don't steal the rims off your car....

I'd love nothing more than to be able to contribute towards the household finances but unfortunately I, and everyone else here, will have to wait for EAD to be able to legally bring money home.

As it is, as soon as I get a job Alex is looking into going into part-time or full-time study, so I'm eventually going to end up supporting him.

But, thank you for making me feel worse about the whole situation than I already am...

Oh Rachel, don't feel worse! Not being able to work is something that we can't do anything about. If it makes you feel any better, I've been watching and EAD seems to be coming a lot faster than it used to! Hopefully that will be a good thing. I know how you feel though. I know that I feel a little guilty about the fact that I'm going to enjoy not working, at least for a little while.

Thanks for the replies, everyone! I'm glad it brought out some personal experiences and got others - who haven't moved to the USA yet - to think about things like this. It's been a fun thread to read.

Half the people on this site are non-Americans so it's always interesting to get everyone's perspectives since we are all in the same boat - whether we're Canadian, Pakistani, or Swedish.

As to counting leaves, hm, I know you're just joking, mate. Thing is, for some people, other things take priority. For others, they need to worry about finding work right away. It's just whatever is makes more financial sense for each family. We are fortunate that I can focus on house hunting (in crazy San Fran), researching what car I want, getting used to living like an American, making our home, and focusing on my (unpaid) passion.

No one should feel bad about either having to bring home two full time paycheques, or just one, or none. Some are financially secure, some need time to build up to that level. So no, it's not that I think as women we can depend on our American sugar daddies and just become Stepford wives. I've worked all my life. Now that I'll be moving to a new country there's a whole sh1tload of stuff I need to learn from scratch so a break is well-deserved.

And plus, he makes the living, but I make his life worth living. 'Sall I'm sayin.

Plus, I just learned you only get a few weeks maternity leave in the USA? That's whack.

Sorry - I overreacted a little there! I'm just a little sensitive to the suggestion that I expecting to depend on Alex when I've worked hard to be independent.

Thank you, TheATeam - and I hope EAD does come in fast, too!

It's going to be hard in the beginning and I'm really determined that financial problems aren't going to get in the way of our marriage. Honestly, what's mine is his and what's his is mine when we're married - I don't want either of us to feel guilty about one earning less than the other because no doubt there's going to be periods when he's supporting me and vice versa.

Team J and B - an excellent post there And yes, I hear maternity leave sucks, too - although I suppose it depends on the company you work for.

My husband hated not being able to work for the first four months he was here, so we tried to make the best of it. (He did help a woman with yardwork a for a few days).
He studied English, went to the gym, cooked, cleaned a bit, watched TV, washed my car, went grocery shopping, etc....

Once he got his EAD he went straight to work and does NOT miss those days at all.

I came on a CR-1 but finding a job here is not easy! I've been to 15 interviews so far, signed up with temp agencies, just this past Thursday had a very successful 2nd interview and am now waiting for the 3rd one (the one with the job offer and salary negotiations) but am still going to another interview tomorrow.

Hubby is working so if I do not have an interview scheduled for that day I'd prepare him a meal when he drops by on his lunch break. Our house is squeaky clean - there's only so much you can do when you're home 24/7 hehehe, and I know the TV schedule well too

I'm hoping to get a job in the next two weeks...

Gah !!!
Me doing cooking (sure death), cleaning (i will keep our things clean in our room) (we'll be living to his parents place for the start), lunch box etc would kill me !!!!!!!!!!
I am strongly anti-routine.... and just doing that would probably kill me in boredomness (?? english word ??)

So the plan will probably be....
First, arrange something to be able to drive around, go to the gym and start loosing thoses pounds buggin me, make professional cards, start a personnal work related project to add to my portfolio and learn a new software. Read books, books books, mostly about my job. Starting to do some networking here and there.

And ultimately, get a quickass job

I do need to work and anyway, there is no question about it ! I WANT to work !!!!!! and achieve some of my personnal career goals !

What a wonderful sentiment. Your guy is lucky to have found you! Good luck to the two of you!

Warm Regards,
Samby

We won't be well off at all - I am moving at the end of June, legal wedding at beginning of August then file AOS ASAP so I can get my AP/EAD quickly. Jeremy has a good job but it will only be enough to get us by in bills and rent so I will need to work as soon as I can. I am hoping to set up my own business but I can guarantee that it won't be enough to constitute an income for a long time so I need to get a "real" job in the meantime... We don't even have a place to live yet let alone furniture so we will prolly be using deck chairs and airbeds for a while... swap meets anyone?!!?

What is CNA? I get medical on Jeremy's insurance but I am always open to new ideas



Really? Well hopefully by that time we will be able to afford for me to work only part time... who knows... I guess if it depends on employer I should find out things like that before I get a job... of course if they think I am just going to go get knocked up right away then they prolly won't employ me anyway...



Defo - we are not going to be well off but we will be together and that is what counts. I am telling myself that it will be kinda like a game where we have to make all the pennies count and so we can spend time trying to get the best deals on things. Everyone has to start somewhere right? I know we won't always be poor but we will always have a roof over our heads and more stability than Jeremy had growing up so we'll get there in the end - it just might take a little while is all

The excitement does not stop here on weekdays!

I get up when Ben leaves but usually watch TV till 10. Then I shower and take the dog out. Then I apply for as many jobs as possible until lunch. After lunch I might do grocery shopping or other such exciting things that need doing, walk the dog some more, and apply for more jobs. I barely watch TV after 10 because it's just a load of cr@p.

Last week I painted the dining room, baked a pie (sooo unlike me lol), cleaned the house and so on. Today I am starting my NEW routine of jogging.

I've applied for about 30-40 jobs in the last 3 weeks, have had one interview (but nothing came of it), and a couple od phone calls but nothing encouraging. Seems that all the jobs either require more experience or less education than I have, and not a whole lot in between. I've also applied for about 10 volunteer jobs but they don't want me either.

This week I am painting the living room.

Haha - aww that sucks but you make it sound so funny

I want to join a gym - I am trying to convince myself that working out and losing weight and getting into shape will be a great pastime... of course I might take to baking as well in which case it will just be used to burn the calories from all the yummy brownies

Yeah I went to the gym when I first got here. We had a gym in the apartment complex we lived in which was free. I went for like 4 months but it was just not fun going alone and it was such a small crappy gym that I was usually the only one there!

I should have joined the gym at the Y, but I figure if I start running it's something Ben and I can do together. Plus I'll be starting from scratch so it will be nice to be able to achieve something like that.

I've never been to a gym in my life - I'd say that was starting from scratch

The gym frightens me.

Yeah - I must say the thought of going in all flabby does not appeal!!! That and I would prolly look at the equpment like torture devices and not have a clue where to start using them!! I mean how do I know what I need to do!?

I can't wait to use the tiny little gym room in our apartment complex. I actually prefer going alone, if I'm not going to be going with my sweetheart that is. That way no one sees my fat butt sweat so much! ~giggles~

Aly- as for going to the gym, what I do is just find a cardio machine, a bike, treadmill, stairclimber, or something that looks interesting to you, get on it and go. Don't worry so much about weights when you're first starting. They can be overwhelming. Some gyms will have personal trainers, but often they're pretty expensive. If you want, you can pm me and I can help you out a little if you need it. I've been doing some serious gym time for awhile now. I guess that's what's needed when you're 288 pounds and on the verge of being very sick! Thank goodness I'm down to 202 now, as of yesterday and still going! My babe said I needed to be under 200 before I move! ~giggles~ How's that for motivation? Some may think it's mean, but hey it's working for me!

C.'s not a foreign wife, but I have a couple suggestions. We were a bit unusual in that he was able to have a temporary EAD and an international employer that was able to hire him during the summer, so for us the long period of not being able to work only ran from August until December. (Even going back to work with the same employer meant a longer delay than the 90 or so it took him to get his new EAD.)

C. took over a lot of the day to day housekeeping duties, as well as the majority of the organizing of our apartment trying to combine his and my stuff. One thing I would recommend is something that gets the foreign spouse out of the house for a few hours every day, whether it's volunteering, or looking at new houses, or taking exercise classes. The hardest part for us was me feeling like he was bored and needed to be entertained, and him feeling like he had nothing going on.

Wow! You've done a really good job!!! I'm at 172lbs which is as heavy as I have ever been and ideally I would like to get down to 140lbs - I was at 147lbs when I went on a diet last but then kinda fell off the wagon so I have some hard work ahead of me...

Will defo be calling on you when I get to a gym!! Of course talking myself into it this side of the pond just isn't happening although have a stepper at home that I have been using (sporadically) and I did some situps the other day...

The problem I found with going to the gym alone was I just didn't have the motivation. I need someone with me or to meet up with to keep me motivated because I hate the gym.

It was nice that nobody could see me wobbling away on the treadmill though

i will start going to the gym here as soon as i have a job. at the moment it's just really not affordable. but i LOVE going to the gym. especially as it's so ridiculously hot here all the time, it's really hard to stay acitve whenever it's above 110 for 3 months straight......

other than that i'm trying to get off my chocolate addiction and take my bike to most places. i'm at 159 at the moment and need to get down to 150 at least. *sigh*


i have a phone interview tomorrow and need to prepare for that. wish so much i had friends here in tucson. *sigh*

I can't imagine having to deal with that heat. When I went to Vegas a couple of summers ago I passed out as soon as I got out of the car from the heat! So I totally understand going to the gym for that!

It gets so humid here in the summer though, but it's between 85 and 100 in the middle of summer - it feels sooo much hotter because of the stupid humidity. So I probably won't be doing much exercise in the summer anyway!

Aww - you have friends on here at VJ though And I'll come visit you in Tucson!!!

It gets hot where I will be living as well - in the 100s if we are out towards the desert :/

thanks aly..... i will visit you for sure

I've found for myself that I can't have anyone else motivate me when it comes to the gym. My sweetheart asks me if I've been, so he keeps me accountable, but if I had to depend on someone else to actually get there, I'd never go. I've made a 100% committment to myself. That means there are no excuses, I go 6 days a week no matter what. (Well, unless I've broken a part of my body or something! ~giggles~) That's what it took for me. I knew I needed to do it and I enjoy it now after only two weeks of being super faithful!

Aly I'm always here if you need a little help!

Aww....Tuscon girl you've got us. I've heard it's really hot there. I know Boise isn't quite as hot but it's still part of the desert and when I visited last summer I was so surprised. I'm excited that there's air conditioning everywhere though! Here in Northern Alberta it's comical to see signs on stores that say "Come in, we have AIR CONDITIONING" in the summer. Down there they would never dream of NOT having air conditioning!

TheATeam, you are an exemple !
I lost a bunch of pounds too 2 years ago but i gained back half of it last year... i am really not proud of me.

But i take that move to my sweety as a new start, i am changing career field, i want to kick out bad habits, get newer and healthier ones and of course get to the gym !

I don't care to be in the middle of a bunch of skinny look how i m cute girls in a gym.... as long as i have fun, i love classes, and everything around too (cardio, muscles) anyway

Can't wait to start !!!!

As long as you have that attitude melusine you'll go far! Don't worry about what others think of you, more often than not they're not thinking a thing about you. They're probably worried about what you're thinking of them! ~giggles~ It took me awhile to learn and BELIEVE that one!

I'm looking forward to volunteering as well. I hope they'll take me. I've seen some postings saying that volunteer agencies won't even let the foreign wife help. I sure hope that's not the case. You would assume that they need all the help they can get!

Melusine - I agree - I am taking it as a fresh start to get into good habits and good routines - sure I want to have a treat day a week but because it will be us doing the shopping and making the meals, we can control what we eat a lot easier than I can when I am at home!!!

Mum refuses to buy low fat alternatives and I think that given the chance I will be able to do that easier... Maybe we need to start a new thread here about good healthy meals that can be made in the US - I know about different foods here in the UK and healthy alternatives but in the US I think it is much harder as there is so much processed food... I have bunches of weight watchers recipes I could share

I think sometimes it is just finding nice yummy food that is good for you Sharing ideas and recipes as well as good calorie-burning tips would be awesome

i have a bunch of recipe too ! lol
french WW (i am french too and lived there for my first 23 yrs) and some others from canada...
jeraly (and all others), where will you end up living ? anyone close to LA ?

I'm going to be a couple hours out of LA - nearer Palm Springs

I'm going to be in Idaho and I'm SUPER excited about that! I still get my snow and winter sports, but a much milder version! YAY!