QUOTE(Trelawny20853 @ Mar 25 2008, 08:41 PM)

Girl, they just don't know. I tell my people AMERICA is not JOKE! It no EASY! But, you have to be willing to try. My fiance had no INTENTIONS at all to ever come here, but it just happened that we ran into each other and fell in love. We discussed the adjustment process a lot, but I told him, he won't know until he gets here and starts working and gets into the American way of life. I told him, if it's too much for him to handle I'll go back with him. It's easy for me to say that, because that's been my plan for many years.
DJ and I had this discussion on my last trip - Because as much as I love JA, I am 99.9% sure that I could not live there year round - for a variety of reasons, mainly because I don't think I can be that far away from my family - I just feel that it would be tough to earn a good enough income that I would be able to hop a plane at will to come home for a visit or in an emergency - Living in the US, it would be easier to do it by hopping a plane to JA. My family has been through a lot of loss in the past few years, and those of us that remain have been brought closer together by it - I couldn't be so far from my mom (would break her heart) or miss so much of my nephews lives. D is close to his Mom, but by phone only - he hadn't seen her in two years before my last trip. I told him that I could easily move to a warmer climate, but within the US and it would have to be after he was here and we were established - reality is, I make a good living, and we will need that in the beginning. Ultimately, I would love to have a good enough income (win the lottery, whatever, lol) that we would be able to live between both places - spend the winters in JA, summers here.
Immigrating and adjusting is no joke - three of my closest friends moved here from South Africa, Scotland, and Ireland - Even coming from countries that are somewhat similar to ours in educational systems, etc... they all had a hard time adjusting - My friend from SA went from being a straight A student to getting Ds in English - all because of the style by which she wrote = I used to help her to edit her papers, and she went back to an A student - but it was hard for her. I know someone else who came up on a K1, was married a few years, and divorced - his ex did everything for him, and he didn't learn how to do anything for himself. When they split, he had no clue of things like how to balance a checkbook, ATM fees, doing a resume, school, etc.... and had an unbelievably hard time.
Even though I haven't started the process yet (hopefully after my next trip, we have some stuff to sort out first), I think that I have a good grasp on what it will take - and I already know that the hardest thing for me is going to be stepping back and letting him make his own mistakes. But I also know that if I don't do that, I would be setting him up for failure.
I hear yuh sus...but I'm like Lawny...if I could mek a descent pissa change inna JA...I would move me and my boys back in a heartbeat! In recent years I have had so many family members that wouldda DEAD if dem nuh reach farrin'...turn back and go back home it's not even funny!
I think that' one of my biggest fears...where I live at least is not anywhere near as social as JA is. Where yuh cyan jus walk outta road han hangout listen music and drink a green bokkle. Here...you have to go to a bar for that and that a totally different atmosphere all together. It reminds me of when I first moved here. My father missed the whole social aspect of his pubs. Back home in England a pub wasn't really like a Bar...pon a friday night the whole family would go down to the pub. My sister and myself would get Babycham's and my parents would just sit and chat wid friends. I keep trying to explain this to Ken...but unfortunately I think this is something he will have to see and learn for himself!
I am hoping that he will find other social activities to get involved in...like right now my son's soccer team is looking for an Asst. Coach (Ken would be perfect)....we'll have to see! I have been trying to get him enrolled in a GED program...so he can start that ...but ... Time will tell. I was thinking this morning hopefully by 2013...he... we will be adjusted and tackling 'normal' couple issues.