QUOTE(Jengles @ Mar 19 2008, 08:32 PM)
QUOTE(Trelawny20853 @ Mar 19 2008, 08:25 PM)
Okay. Mi ave a likkle joke fi unu...
Just got back from the ER with my girlfriend and her stubborn rahtidclaat husband
My girlfriend's husband has been in states since January 1st of this year and well, he does not read well or NOT AT ALL and he will not admit to it. I've offered to help him and he refuses. I think it's mostely pride and he's been making silly mistakes one of which cost him a well paying job back in January.
Mistake #1
He works for a cleaning company and he mix 2 very strong stippers together and they had to clear the building, call hazmat and send people home for the rest of the day.
Mistake #2
He had an interview in Balitmore got on 95 and kept on driving. Before his dumbA$$ called some one he just kept driving. By the time he called his wife, he was at Exit 13 on the Jersey Turnpike. Almost
into NY.
Mistake # 3
Buying a car when you're new to a country and listening to his dumb a$$ friends. Went to EASTERNS MOTORS with his friends and of course they ripped his a$$ off.
AND;
Mistake #4
Lord, please forgive me for LAUGHING, but this is too funny.
Remember he does not know how to READ and is refusing to learn, but I bet he will now. This morning he went to brush his teeth, called his wife complaining he can't find the tootpaste and where she put it. He gets fustrated and hangs up the phone on her. Goes in the bathroom (Lord please forgive me).....he used her MONISTAT CREAME and brushed his teeth and had a very, very, very bad reaction. The reaction didn't take place until he got to work this morning. He works in the complex he lives in. By the time I got to the hospital and I saw what he looked like and I found out what happened, I could not stop laughing. I mean, I can't even describe what he looks like, but it looked like he was attacked by a 100 bees. Then he gets upset, because his wife and the doctors told him what the creame is used for. So, he's mad at his wife and it's her fault. He's a grown man of 37 years old. He yelling and me and his wife, saying, how you can put something that fi go pon unu P*&$#Y in the bathroom. I asked him where are we suppose to put it. He thought it was travel toothpaste.
I got him into a program to help him with his reading and he went the first 2 nights and refused to go home. My girlfriend don't know what else to do. She had no idea he could not read. He is a functional illiterate. I think that's the correct term. He had his own business in Jamaica, so I don't know how he was able to pull that off. I keep telling him Jamaica and the USA is not the same. He said he managed fine in Jamaica and he will manage fine in the USA. People will rip you off if you don't understand what you're reading or signing.
Okay. I have to go ask for forgiveness now.
u need to warn people before u post stuff like this...i laughed so hard, my son wanted to know the joke....
You a dead wid laugh...you should have seen my FACE...I could not look at him. Now, I didn't know what happend all I know was that he had an allergic reaction. So, I thought it was something he ate. So, when I was told what actually happened I could not help it. Even the nurses (who were mostly Jamaicans) were all trying to be professional, but it was too DAMN funny. And he in there cussing all kind of bbclaat and rassclatt. Mi seh mi did a dead. His eyes are SWOLLEN SHUT and I can't even tell you how BIG his lips and his nose are. He's lucky he didn't die. At least he was able talk when I got there. When the ambulance brought him to the hospital he could not talk. They have to keep him overnight to make sure all the swelling goes down.
When I left the hospital his brothers were coming in and they were told what happend so now they calling him pum pum MOUT!...mi a dead wid laugh
QUOTE(Jengles @ Mar 19 2008, 08:32 PM)
u need to warn people before u post stuff like this...i laughed so hard, my son wanted to know the joke....
You a dead wid laugh...you should have seen my FACE...I could not look at him. Now, I didn't know what happend all I know was that he had an allergic reaction. So, I thought it was something he ate. So, when I was told what actually happened I could not help it. Even the nurses (who were mostly Jamaicans) were all trying to be professional, but it was too DAMN funny. And he in there cussing all kind of bbclaat and rassclatt. Mi seh mi did a dead. His eyes are SWOLLEN SHUT and I can't even tell you how BIG his lips and his nose are. He's lucky he didn't die. At least he was able talk when I got there. When the ambulance brought him to the hospital he could not talk. They have to keep him overnight to make sure all the swelling goes down.
When I left the hospital his brothers were coming in and they were told what happend so now they calling him pum pum MOUT!...mi a dead wid laugh
= pum pum cooler
...because he needs to get KJ's Birth Certificate and HIS BLASTED Driver's License!!! Well, at least he got it...so I can go ahead and book the ticket!
Besides, mi wah some free food a liquor...mi caan wait fi Kimmy baby shower fi come through.
