VisaJourney.com > General Discussion Area > Regional Discussion > Latin America, Mexico & the Caribbean
I wish someone could expalin this to me.One of the reasons I stopped talking to family back home as much is because every chance they get,they ask for money.They think I have a dollar tree in my back yard.
Same happens with other countries where the exchange rate makes the dollar value higher than domestic currency. It happens with China too.
They do not understand that things cost more in the USA, as well as things like TAX takes up to 50% out of an American's income.
They do not understand that things cost more in the USA, as well as things like TAX takes up to 50% out of an American's income.
We are going on 2 years and it doesn't stop.
You learn not to answer the phone.
You learn not to answer the phone.
QUOTE(Jomo @ Mar 4 2008, 04:46 PM) 
We are going on 2 years and it doesn't stop.
You learn not to answer the phone.
You learn not to answer the phone.
What a good idea,I have to start trying it.It's hilarious,as soon as you say "How are you doing ?" you get a whole tall tale about how the water bill is due,how the dog is dying and how there's no soap in the bathroom.
This is why we will NEVER live in my husband's country. He gets it all the time because he has an American wife, but it's worse when I visit. We have to "hold court" every morning. The living room is full of people waiting for us to wake up so they can ask my husband for money. To deny them would seem stingy, and, of course, we want to help out as much as we can. There is no way they can understand that while compared to them we are rich, we have responsibilities back home that we simply cannot ignore because we want to help them out. It is very frustrating. When our daughter was born my husband looked at her and said, "You will have a lot of responsibility." I nearly collapsed with the weight of the realization of what I had brought her into.
QUOTE(panamania79 @ Mar 4 2008, 03:51 PM)
QUOTE(Jomo @ Mar 4 2008, 04:46 PM)
We are going on 2 years and it doesn't stop.
You learn not to answer the phone.
You learn not to answer the phone.
What a good idea,I have to start trying it.It's hilarious,as soon as you say "How are you doing ?" you get a whole tall tale about how the water bill is due,how the dog is dying and how there's no soap in the bathroom.
Oh, I've heard some stories........we have not food. A few days later, the hurricane blew away all our food. (Ummmm....I thought you didn't have any food?) So and so is so sick I think they may die. Later that day, oh, she's went out. Story after story after story...............Eventually, you stop stressing and learn to enjoy the comedic value of it all.
We've had friends call for money for a car, a plane ticket, a computer.............
And, you'll notice the calls happen just about the time you get paid. It's like they are psychic or something.
We just say NO and if they persist, we stop answering the phones.
It will be no different when we visit. I do not play that game.
I guess I'm lucky. My family and friends would never ask me for money or to buy them anything.
We had a very long discussion about this before I got engaged. I've already gone through with it from people in my own family and WE HAD TO PUT OUR FOOT DOWN HARD (this was many years ago). I don't know about other countries, but SOME people in Jamaica think becuase you live inthe states you're siting on a GOLD MIND...so, back in the day when they would call (sometimes collect). I would say, let me look out side, I think THE MONEY TREE is DEAD again. More opportuntines may be available here in the states, but you still have to bust your A$$ to make a decent living in America. Nothing is free.
I hated it when I would go on vacation and my cousins would try their best to drain my pockets, then when they would come and visit in the states they would try to drain it again.
I hated it when I would go on vacation and my cousins would try their best to drain my pockets, then when they would come and visit in the states they would try to drain it again.
Tre, it's an ongoing thing. You really do get used to it. You also get over the whole, it's stresing me out part.
QUOTE(Jomo @ Mar 5 2008, 08:55 AM)
QUOTE(panamania79 @ Mar 4 2008, 03:51 PM)
QUOTE(Jomo @ Mar 4 2008, 04:46 PM)
We are going on 2 years and it doesn't stop.
You learn not to answer the phone.
You learn not to answer the phone.
What a good idea,I have to start trying it.It's hilarious,as soon as you say "How are you doing ?" you get a whole tall tale about how the water bill is due,how the dog is dying and how there's no soap in the bathroom.
Oh, I've heard some stories........we have not food. A few days later, the hurricane blew away all our food. (Ummmm....I thought you didn't have any food?) So and so is so sick I think they may die. Later that day, oh, she's went out. Story after story after story...............Eventually, you stop stressing and learn to enjoy the comedic value of it all.
We've had friends call for money for a car, a plane ticket, a computer.............
And, you'll notice the calls happen just about the time you get paid. It's like they are psychic or something.
We just say NO and if they persist, we stop answering the phones.
It will be no different when we visit. I do not play that game.
It's the exact same scenario in Panama.This has to be the funniest one."Lani,do they have shirts up there ?" And I'm like,"Um yeah." And then they'll ask,"Could you bring me 5 and I'll pay you back when you come ?"
And I'll never forget the time my aunt called me in tears because she had no shampoo,toilet paper,or soap.When I get there,she has everything. 
QUOTE(Trelawny20853 @ Mar 5 2008, 09:44 AM)
We had a very long discussion about this before I got engaged. I've already gone through with it from people in my own family and WE HAD TO PUT OUR FOOT DOWN HARD (this was many years ago). I don't know about other countries, but SOME people in Jamaica think becuase you live inthe states you're siting on a GOLD MIND...so, back in the day when they would call (sometimes collect). I would say, let me look out side, I think THE MONEY TREE is DEAD again. More opportuntines may be available here in the states, but you still have to bust your A$$ to make a decent living in America. Nothing is free.
I hated it when I would go on vacation and my cousins would try their best to drain my pockets, then when they would come and visit in the states they would try to drain it again.
I hated it when I would go on vacation and my cousins would try their best to drain my pockets, then when they would come and visit in the states they would try to drain it again.
I just stopped bothering with them as much as I used to.They're so fresh.
My step-brother once told my dad that he needed $5k because he going to be kidnapped. Whatever. 
Diana
Diana
I've never had that problem...and my hubby's family is fairly poor. They're well off in comparision to others from their village, but to put it into perspective, didn't have an actual toilet until my husband was 24. But in their opinion, they want for nothing.
My sister-in-law did say when we moved to Cancun, "so when will you start sending us money?" because for them, Cancun is the land of milk and honey. But she's weird anyway.
And my sister-in-law asked us to be her compadres for her wedding, but she would have asked anyway...after all, she and her baby brother are best friends and she and I are very close.
I think that his family feels like they can take care of everything, however, I do think that if they need something like medicine or education and it's within our means to make the experience easier or better, then it';s our duty to help them.
I remember even before we were together and his mom was feeding me three meals a day, it was a constant struggle for me to even get his mom to accept 20 bucks a month for payment for food...I'd have to figure out what she needed or wanted and say, "Here, this is so you can buy a pair of shoes or a big cooking pot." Only then would she take it...or I'd stick it in her hand and run before she protested.
My sister-in-law did say when we moved to Cancun, "so when will you start sending us money?" because for them, Cancun is the land of milk and honey. But she's weird anyway.
And my sister-in-law asked us to be her compadres for her wedding, but she would have asked anyway...after all, she and her baby brother are best friends and she and I are very close.
I think that his family feels like they can take care of everything, however, I do think that if they need something like medicine or education and it's within our means to make the experience easier or better, then it';s our duty to help them.
I remember even before we were together and his mom was feeding me three meals a day, it was a constant struggle for me to even get his mom to accept 20 bucks a month for payment for food...I'd have to figure out what she needed or wanted and say, "Here, this is so you can buy a pair of shoes or a big cooking pot." Only then would she take it...or I'd stick it in her hand and run before she protested.
When I met my wife her family were squatters, living in a tiny shack by the side of the road. They lived from day to day, with whatever small amount of money her father could make doing farm labor.
They never asked us for a penny.
I was so inspired (and humbled) I bought them a little piece of land and I am now building a simple small house for them. They are very thankful for that, and I feel fortunate to be able to do it.
They still don't ask for anything.
They never asked us for a penny.
I was so inspired (and humbled) I bought them a little piece of land and I am now building a simple small house for them. They are very thankful for that, and I feel fortunate to be able to do it.
They still don't ask for anything.
QUOTE(GabachaYucateca @ Mar 5 2008, 11:05 AM)
I've never had that problem...and my hubby's family is fairly poor. They're well off in comparision to others from their village, but to put it into perspective, didn't have an actual toilet until my husband was 24. But in their opinion, they want for nothing.
My sister-in-law did say when we moved to Cancun, "so when will you start sending us money?" because for them, Cancun is the land of milk and honey. But she's weird anyway.
And my sister-in-law asked us to be her compadres for her wedding, but she would have asked anyway...after all, she and her baby brother are best friends and she and I are very close.
I think that his family feels like they can take care of everything, however, I do think that if they need something like medicine or education and it's within our means to make the experience easier or better, then it';s our duty to help them.
I remember even before we were together and his mom was feeding me three meals a day, it was a constant struggle for me to even get his mom to accept 20 bucks a month for payment for food...I'd have to figure out what she needed or wanted and say, "Here, this is so you can buy a pair of shoes or a big cooking pot." Only then would she take it...or I'd stick it in her hand and run before she protested.
My sister-in-law did say when we moved to Cancun, "so when will you start sending us money?" because for them, Cancun is the land of milk and honey. But she's weird anyway.
And my sister-in-law asked us to be her compadres for her wedding, but she would have asked anyway...after all, she and her baby brother are best friends and she and I are very close.
I think that his family feels like they can take care of everything, however, I do think that if they need something like medicine or education and it's within our means to make the experience easier or better, then it';s our duty to help them.
I remember even before we were together and his mom was feeding me three meals a day, it was a constant struggle for me to even get his mom to accept 20 bucks a month for payment for food...I'd have to figure out what she needed or wanted and say, "Here, this is so you can buy a pair of shoes or a big cooking pot." Only then would she take it...or I'd stick it in her hand and run before she protested.
The key phrase here is "if it's within your means". When you tell them it is not right now, some people cannot take no for an answer.
Being unable is completely different then being selfish. Just as being needy is completely different then taking someone for the sport of it.
Oh, of course, Jomo's Girl!
Of course, I'd imagine that all of us would find the way to pay for a relative's surgery even if it would cause financial hardship. A new computer, not so much.
Of course, I'd imagine that all of us would find the way to pay for a relative's surgery even if it would cause financial hardship. A new computer, not so much.
I am not supporting a family of seven in the Philippines. The Dad lost his job right after Claudeth came here and he has never bothered to look for work now that he has us. Fortunately my business there is making a profit so it is supporting them to the life style they have become accustomed to
QUOTE(GabiandVi @ Mar 5 2008, 01:34 AM)
This is why we will NEVER live in my husband's country. He gets it all the time because he has an American wife, but it's worse when I visit. We have to "hold court" every morning. The living room is full of people waiting for us to wake up so they can ask my husband for money. To deny them would seem stingy, and, of course, we want to help out as much as we can. There is no way they can understand that while compared to them we are rich, we have responsibilities back home that we simply cannot ignore because we want to help them out. It is very frustrating. When our daughter was born my husband looked at her and said, "You will have a lot of responsibility." I nearly collapsed with the weight of the realization of what I had brought her into.
That must make you feel like royalty.I find it so hilarious that all my fiance's friends told him,"So you nabbed yourself a gringa,you just hit the lottery,man."
QUOTE(Nessa @ Mar 5 2008, 09:22 AM)
I guess I'm lucky. My family and friends would never ask me for money or to buy them anything.
You are VERY lucky.
QUOTE(Nessa @ Mar 5 2008, 09:22 AM)
I guess I'm lucky. My family and friends would never ask me for money or to buy them anything.
You are VERY lucky.
QUOTE(panamania79 @ Mar 5 2008, 01:38 PM)
QUOTE(Nessa @ Mar 5 2008, 09:22 AM)
I guess I'm lucky. My family and friends would never ask me for money or to buy them anything.
You are VERY lucky.
I guess it's because I don't come from a poor family, if I did maybe they'd ask for, you never know.
QUOTE(panamania79 @ Mar 5 2008, 01:38 PM)
QUOTE(Nessa @ Mar 5 2008, 09:22 AM)
I guess I'm lucky. My family and friends would never ask me for money or to buy them anything.
You are VERY lucky.
I guess it's because I don't come from a poor family, if I did maybe they'd ask for, you never know.
QUOTE(panamania79 @ Mar 5 2008, 01:38 PM)
QUOTE(Nessa @ Mar 5 2008, 09:22 AM)
I guess I'm lucky. My family and friends would never ask me for money or to buy them anything.
You are VERY lucky.
We are blessed! My family never asks for monye they keep ask me if we need money, isn't that funny? and this year they are inviting us to go to visit them to Peru, they want to pay for our tkts but we don' t feel comfortable enough I know they are my family but we can afford it.
Vi
Vi
We're also lucky because my husband's family never asks us for money - or anything for that matter. We have collected some things that we want to send to his brother since he has a family (with small kids), but we have yet to send anything.
On the other hand, my husband's "aquaintances" are quick to send messages to him asking for Nike shoes, a laptop, clothes, etc. Mr. borabora always says yes and that if they send him money he'll buy and ship it out to them. That's when the conversation ends.
My husband has very few people of whom he'd call his friends - and they NEVER ask for anything. These are the people that will receive gifts when we go back to visit.
On the other hand, my husband's "aquaintances" are quick to send messages to him asking for Nike shoes, a laptop, clothes, etc. Mr. borabora always says yes and that if they send him money he'll buy and ship it out to them. That's when the conversation ends.
My husband has very few people of whom he'd call his friends - and they NEVER ask for anything. These are the people that will receive gifts when we go back to visit.
what a great topic.........they think America is a bed or Roses and it's not. I still aint find that pot of gold @the end of the rainbow yet.
My in-laws don't usually ask me anything personally but they do ask my husband all the time. so and so school fee due, need medicine and who needs to go to the doctors. He be all stressed out about it and he is the 3rd youngest out of 7 kids but he's the one that they call on.
I tell him all the time I don't like to talk to your sister because she always begging money even though she doesn't come out and ask i know she wants to and I can support her and her 5 kids and husband.
In America I'm considered the working Poor even though the government doesn't think so I do.
My in-laws don't usually ask me anything personally but they do ask my husband all the time. so and so school fee due, need medicine and who needs to go to the doctors. He be all stressed out about it and he is the 3rd youngest out of 7 kids but he's the one that they call on.
I tell him all the time I don't like to talk to your sister because she always begging money even though she doesn't come out and ask i know she wants to and I can support her and her 5 kids and husband.
In America I'm considered the working Poor even though the government doesn't think so I do.
QUOTE(GabiandVi @ Mar 5 2008, 01:34 AM)
This is why we will NEVER live in my husband's country. He gets it all the time because he has an American wife, but it's worse when I visit. We have to "hold court" every morning. The living room is full of people waiting for us to wake up so they can ask my husband for money. To deny them would seem stingy, and, of course, we want to help out as much as we can. There is no way they can understand that while compared to them we are rich, we have responsibilities back home that we simply cannot ignore because we want to help them out. It is very frustrating. When our daughter was born my husband looked at her and said, "You will have a lot of responsibility." I nearly collapsed with the weight of the realization of what I had brought her into.
I would have said no she doesn't and 10 to 1 she won't feel that same sense of responsibility your husband does,
QUOTE(garya505 @ Mar 5 2008, 12:34 PM)
When I met my wife her family were squatters, living in a tiny shack by the side of the road. They lived from day to day, with whatever small amount of money her father could make doing farm labor.
They never asked us for a penny.
I was so inspired (and humbled) I bought them a little piece of land and I am now building a simple small house for them. They are very thankful for that, and I feel fortunate to be able to do it.
They still don't ask for anything.
They never asked us for a penny.
I was so inspired (and humbled) I bought them a little piece of land and I am now building a simple small house for them. They are very thankful for that, and I feel fortunate to be able to do it.
They still don't ask for anything.
that is beautiful
QUOTE(Jengles @ Mar 5 2008, 08:50 PM)
QUOTE(garya505 @ Mar 5 2008, 12:34 PM)
When I met my wife her family were squatters, living in a tiny shack by the side of the road. They lived from day to day, with whatever small amount of money her father could make doing farm labor.
They never asked us for a penny.
I was so inspired (and humbled) I bought them a little piece of land and I am now building a simple small house for them. They are very thankful for that, and I feel fortunate to be able to do it.
They still don't ask for anything.
They never asked us for a penny.
I was so inspired (and humbled) I bought them a little piece of land and I am now building a simple small house for them. They are very thankful for that, and I feel fortunate to be able to do it.
They still don't ask for anything.
that is beautiful
yeah mon mi a falla u...wah u a do ovah yahso...galang back ovah so [size="5"][/size]
QUOTE(Trelawny20853 @ Mar 5 2008, 09:06 PM)
QUOTE(Jengles @ Mar 5 2008, 08:50 PM)
QUOTE(garya505 @ Mar 5 2008, 12:34 PM)
When I met my wife her family were squatters, living in a tiny shack by the side of the road. They lived from day to day, with whatever small amount of money her father could make doing farm labor.
They never asked us for a penny.
I was so inspired (and humbled) I bought them a little piece of land and I am now building a simple small house for them. They are very thankful for that, and I feel fortunate to be able to do it.
They still don't ask for anything.
They never asked us for a penny.
I was so inspired (and humbled) I bought them a little piece of land and I am now building a simple small house for them. They are very thankful for that, and I feel fortunate to be able to do it.
They still don't ask for anything.
that is beautiful
yeah mon mi a falla u...wah u a do ovah yahso...galang back ovah so [size="5"][/size]
U are too funny, i saw a good topic and had to give some input.
This is how it goes in my family:
1. Calls at all hours of the morning/night because no matter how many times you tell them, they do not understand the concept of time difference.
2. When I say "Hello" I get a very hurried "Call me back".
3. I call back and there is a freaking laundry list of demands. And these are not "We have no food. We need to pay for medical bills"
Its "I want a laptop" "Can I get an mp3 player" "I would like a Game Cube" WTF? So, I very graciously hang up and get back to sleep. Before I went home last year my cousin asked for an iPod and I ripped him a new one.
So this is what I learned: to give out my cell number and turn it off at night. My sisters and my parents have my home number and can call if it is an emergency. If anyone "flashes" me, I don't call back. If someone says "call me back" I don't call back. If they have something to say, they have learned they had better have the units to call. Period. End of story.
What is the excuse they give when I ask why they need these things? "Eh, we also want to show that we have a sister in the US" Like I am some kind of status symbol 
Neither my family nor my fiance's family NEED us to do anything for them. Anything we give them will be because we have extra and can do for them but not out of necessity.
1. Calls at all hours of the morning/night because no matter how many times you tell them, they do not understand the concept of time difference.
2. When I say "Hello" I get a very hurried "Call me back".
3. I call back and there is a freaking laundry list of demands. And these are not "We have no food. We need to pay for medical bills"
Its "I want a laptop" "Can I get an mp3 player" "I would like a Game Cube" WTF? So, I very graciously hang up and get back to sleep. Before I went home last year my cousin asked for an iPod and I ripped him a new one. So this is what I learned: to give out my cell number and turn it off at night. My sisters and my parents have my home number and can call if it is an emergency. If anyone "flashes" me, I don't call back. If someone says "call me back" I don't call back. If they have something to say, they have learned they had better have the units to call. Period. End of story.
What is the excuse they give when I ask why they need these things? "Eh, we also want to show that we have a sister in the US"
Like I am some kind of status symbol Neither my family nor my fiance's family NEED us to do anything for them. Anything we give them will be because we have extra and can do for them but not out of necessity.
QUOTE(Mononoke28 @ Mar 5 2008, 11:44 AM)
My step-brother once told my dad that he needed $5k because he going to be kidnapped. Whatever.
Diana
Diana
That's just terrible.
QUOTE(bora bora @ Mar 5 2008, 07:46 PM)
We're also lucky because my husband's family never asks us for money - or anything for that matter. We have collected some things that we want to send to his brother since he has a family (with small kids), but we have yet to send anything.
On the other hand, my husband's "aquaintances" are quick to send messages to him asking for Nike shoes, a laptop, clothes, etc. Mr. borabora always says yes and that if they send him money he'll buy and ship it out to them. That's when the conversation ends.
My husband has very few people of whom he'd call his friends - and they NEVER ask for anything. These are the people that will receive gifts when we go back to visit.
On the other hand, my husband's "aquaintances" are quick to send messages to him asking for Nike shoes, a laptop, clothes, etc. Mr. borabora always says yes and that if they send him money he'll buy and ship it out to them. That's when the conversation ends.
My husband has very few people of whom he'd call his friends - and they NEVER ask for anything. These are the people that will receive gifts when we go back to visit.
What is this infatuation everybody has with Nikes ? If I see or hear about a pair of Jordans one more time,I'm gonna scream !
QUOTE(Dimples876 @ Mar 5 2008, 07:50 PM)
what a great topic.........they think America is a bed or Roses and it's not. I still aint find that pot of gold @the end of the rainbow yet.
My in-laws don't usually ask me anything personally but they do ask my husband all the time. so and so school fee due, need medicine and who needs to go to the doctors. He be all stressed out about it and he is the 3rd youngest out of 7 kids but he's the one that they call on.
I tell him all the time I don't like to talk to your sister because she always begging money even though she doesn't come out and ask i know she wants to and I can support her and her 5 kids and husband.
In America I'm considered the working Poor even though the government doesn't think so I do.
My in-laws don't usually ask me anything personally but they do ask my husband all the time. so and so school fee due, need medicine and who needs to go to the doctors. He be all stressed out about it and he is the 3rd youngest out of 7 kids but he's the one that they call on.
I tell him all the time I don't like to talk to your sister because she always begging money even though she doesn't come out and ask i know she wants to and I can support her and her 5 kids and husband.
In America I'm considered the working Poor even though the government doesn't think so I do.
Me too,but they have it stuck in their heads that we're millionaires.Oh,don't I wish.
that's what they think. I sent to my two brothers in PI last year and they kept going on and on is like they want me to send them all the time
so i cut communications with them..I have peace of mind..I mean phone peace..LOL
so i cut communications with them..I have peace of mind..I mean phone peace..LOL
QUOTE(garya505 @ Mar 5 2008, 02:34 PM)
When I met my wife her family were squatters, living in a tiny shack by the side of the road. They lived from day to day, with whatever small amount of money her father could make doing farm labor.
They never asked us for a penny.
I was so inspired (and humbled) I bought them a little piece of land and I am now building a simple small house for them. They are very thankful for that, and I feel fortunate to be able to do it.
They still don't ask for anything.
They never asked us for a penny.
I was so inspired (and humbled) I bought them a little piece of land and I am now building a simple small house for them. They are very thankful for that, and I feel fortunate to be able to do it.
They still don't ask for anything.
That was beautiful, that's so nice of you
Sorry I can't relate to the topic. I have barely little family in my home country. I have friends but they all have really good jobs. I still would like to do something nice and special for my best friends. I'm still figuring out what, probably a ticket to come visit me
Saludos,
Caro
QUOTE(Nessa @ Mar 5 2008, 06:22 AM)
I guess I'm lucky. My family and friends would never ask me for money or to buy them anything.
Yes you are lucky. We usually get a text message at least once a week for additional money beyond what my business partner gives Claudeth's family
I struck a deal with my fiancee's family. They take care of the land and cattle that we have back in Thailand, I will send them $500 US a month, no more, no less. In essence, they are working for it.
QUOTE(SqdnGuns @ Mar 6 2008, 03:05 AM)
I struck a deal with my fiancee's family. They take care of the land and cattle that we have back in Thailand, I will send them $500 US a month, no more, no less. In essence, they are working for it.
Fair enough, right?
After reading all these posts it makes me feel lucky we don't have these issues. My husband also has little family left and they do alright themselves - his uncle is in the air force and his cousin is an engineer. Although hubby's brother is not a professional he makes money to support his family.
As far as the Nike shoes - they're SUPER expensive in Brazil, and you can get a decent pair here for $29.99. I'm sure my husband will bring gifts to Brazil, but he won't bankrupt for it. If we don't get a new laptop, no one is
QUOTE(bora bora @ Mar 6 2008, 06:28 AM)
As far as the Nike shoes - they're SUPER expensive in Brazil, and you can get a decent pair here for $29.99.
Exactly. They're really expensive, US$ 300 or more for a pair of tennis shoes you can buy here for 50. If anyone ask me to buy them anything that costs a lot of money in Brazil here so I can bring it to them when I go to brazil and they'll pay me back then why not? I don't see a problem with someone asking me to buy something that cost like 5 times less here, but I'd see a problem if they were asking me to buy them stuff and just send it to them. But they know better, plus it's not like they can't afford it, but it is definitely better to pay 50 instead of 300.
QUOTE(Nessa @ Mar 6 2008, 08:02 AM)
QUOTE(bora bora @ Mar 6 2008, 06:28 AM)
As far as the Nike shoes - they're SUPER expensive in Brazil, and you can get a decent pair here for $29.99.
Exactly. They're really expensive, US$ 300 or more for a pair of tennis shoes you can buy here for 50. If anyone ask me to buy them anything that costs a lot of money in Brazil here so I can bring it to them when I go to brazil and they'll pay me back then why not? I don't see a problem with someone asking me to buy something that cost like 5 times less here, but I'd see a problem if they were asking me to buy them stuff and just send it to them. But they know better, plus it's not like they can't afford it, but it is definitely better to pay 50 instead of 300.
Wow,that's a big price difference.In Panama they cost the same as they do here.
In Colombia most of that stuff is more expensive, so don't get me started on Nike shoes, Levis or computers. The problem is that they always say "Can you bring me a DVD player/or a digital camera/or a laptop computer and I'll pay you when you get here?" Uhm... they never pay and when they do is years later after you had to bug them for them to pay you. Been there, done that, never again. They think you can afford it so why pay you for it and maybe you can forget.
Diana
Diana
QUOTE(JVKn @ Mar 5 2008, 08:46 PM)
QUOTE(garya505 @ Mar 5 2008, 02:34 PM)
When I met my wife her family were squatters, living in a tiny shack by the side of the road. They lived from day to day, with whatever small amount of money her father could make doing farm labor.
They never asked us for a penny.
I was so inspired (and humbled) I bought them a little piece of land and I am now building a simple small house for them. They are very thankful for that, and I feel fortunate to be able to do it.
They still don't ask for anything.
They never asked us for a penny.
I was so inspired (and humbled) I bought them a little piece of land and I am now building a simple small house for them. They are very thankful for that, and I feel fortunate to be able to do it.
They still don't ask for anything.
That was beautiful, that's so nice of you
Sorry I can't relate to the topic. I have barely little family in my home country. I have friends but they all have really good jobs. I still would like to do something nice and special for my best friends. I'm still figuring out what, probably a ticket to come visit me
Saludos,
Caro
I forgot to mention that I made sure to find some land that was income-producing. I was hoping that they would make the best of it and they seem to be doing that. The only problem we have is that my father-in-law is sometimes working there from dawn to dark, and my mother-in-law gets lonely!
QUOTE(Mononoke28 @ Mar 6 2008, 11:16 AM)
In Colombia most of that stuff is more expensive, so don't get me started on Nike shoes, Levis or computers. The problem is that they always say "Can you bring me a DVD player/or a digital camera/or a laptop computer and I'll pay you when you get here?" Uhm... they never pay and when they do is years later after you had to bug them for them to pay you. Been there, done that, never again. They think you can afford it so why pay you for it and maybe you can forget.
Diana
Diana
That sounds so familiar.The only diference is that all that electronic stuff is way cheaper in Panama.So I'll get this "We've been needing a laptop for some time now." So I'll be like okay,let's go to el Machetazo and I'll get you the kiddie on for 30 dollars.
Oh! once my cousin told my mom that he was studying computers at some school and that someone had given him the monitor, another person gave him the keyboard, another one gave him the mouse and that he ONLY needed the CPU. My mom then told me this and said "that's all he needs, is that expensive?" I said "Mom, that's the ACTUAL computer itself and that's ALL he needs?" Puh-lease. 
Diana
Diana
QUOTE(Mononoke28 @ Mar 6 2008, 01:28 PM)
Oh! once my cousin told my mom that he was studying computers at some school and that someone had given him the monitor, another person gave him the keyboard, another one gave him the mouse and that he ONLY needed the CPU. My mom then told me this and said "that's all he needs, is that expensive?" I said "Mom, that's the ACTUAL computer itself and that's ALL he needs?" Puh-lease.
Diana
Diana
hahaha - some people will do anything.
I've heard complaints from a Polish friend of mine about this same issue, and my mother says her friends from Ghana don't even enjoy going back since they get bombarded with requests.
I told my hubby that we only need to tell his family and close friends - in order to avoid hearing "can you bring me...?"
My best friend in Brazil did buy a camera on-line and have it sent to my address, then all I had to do was put it in my suitcase. Her nephew did the same w/ a tiny MP3 player. This is different though because no one is asking me to pay for anything (I wouldn't mind though since this friend is like family). Plus, this $150 camera costs over $400 where she lives...
Not telling people you're going ahead of time is key. But once they know we're there... they're there ALL the freaking time to see what we brought. This year I'm only taking gifts for two people in my family and that's it.
Oh and you know what else gets to me, the fact that they say "let's go out to a movie or dinner or restaurant" and I'm like "sure". We order, then order drinks and stuff like that and then they expect me to pay. Last time I said I was only paying my share and they were all struggling to get money together to pay for the rest. They were not very happy that night. But I'm not an ATM machine!
Diana
Oh and you know what else gets to me, the fact that they say "let's go out to a movie or dinner or restaurant" and I'm like "sure". We order, then order drinks and stuff like that and then they expect me to pay. Last time I said I was only paying my share and they were all struggling to get money together to pay for the rest. They were not very happy that night. But I'm not an ATM machine!
Diana
QUOTE(Mononoke28 @ Mar 7 2008, 11:18 AM)
Not telling people you're going ahead of time is key. But once they know we're there... they're there ALL the freaking time to see what we brought. This year I'm only taking gifts for two people in my family and that's it.
Oh and you know what else gets to me, the fact that they say "let's go out to a movie or dinner or restaurant" and I'm like "sure". We order, then order drinks and stuff like that and then they expect me to pay. Last time I said I was only paying my share and they were all struggling to get money together to pay for the rest. They were not very happy that night. But I'm not an ATM machine!
Diana
Oh and you know what else gets to me, the fact that they say "let's go out to a movie or dinner or restaurant" and I'm like "sure". We order, then order drinks and stuff like that and then they expect me to pay. Last time I said I was only paying my share and they were all struggling to get money together to pay for the rest. They were not very happy that night. But I'm not an ATM machine!
Diana
Oh no,you should not tell any of your friends you are going back home.If you do,you'll get a crowd of people over your house handing you everything from pictures,letters,and even envelopes of cash to bring to relatives
That's what I call "Yo invito,y tu pagas," syndrome.I'll never forget the time I took my fiance's daughter out to eat and the rest of his family got jealous.Can you believe they actually got jealous over an 11 year old ? That's what I ended up telling them,I am not Lani's National Bank.
Coming from an affluent family in Mexico, I cannot relate to being asked for anything. I can tell you that my father is freaked out that I live in an apartment and that I take the bus to work. My mamma cannot possible believe I do all my housekeeping (well, I really don't do shite, Bren does most of it). Different folks, different experiences.
I'm going back in 1 1/2 wks to Barranquilla. Perfume for everyone, but a hammer & level for the father (who works in construction). When I get there, I help buy groceries, the food is served while I wait, and the father and I drink a bottle of Ron Medellin every other day...
When everyone gets tired of Ron Medellin, we always go for Cerveza Aguila.
When everyone gets tired of Ron Medellin, we always go for Cerveza Aguila.
There is a difference between presents and "What can you bring me/pay for?"....
Funny most stories here are about getting asked for 'gifts'... 
Last couple of trips to Colombia I've made a loose bit of cash selling brand new laptops bought at discounted retail price for a very modest travel fee to my wife's friends from work. They ask for specs, I deliver the product brand new and set up to go from day one. Its hilarious every time I go through El Dorado and DAS looks at 'my' 2-3 laptops in my carry on and I smile.
Everyone wins- the friends pay much less for their gear and I get some pocket change and airline miles for using my credit card.
But yeah, I can also relate to the 'Rich American' syndrome. My wife is at a point where she can help support her retired parents on a monthly basis, but she won't out of fear of conditioning them into expecting cash... luckily we've only had to pay for her brother's airline tix to and from Argentina to go back to his Seminary.
Last couple of trips to Colombia I've made a loose bit of cash selling brand new laptops bought at discounted retail price for a very modest travel fee to my wife's friends from work. They ask for specs, I deliver the product brand new and set up to go from day one. Its hilarious every time I go through El Dorado and DAS looks at 'my' 2-3 laptops in my carry on and I smile.
Everyone wins- the friends pay much less for their gear and I get some pocket change and airline miles for using my credit card.
But yeah, I can also relate to the 'Rich American' syndrome. My wife is at a point where she can help support her retired parents on a monthly basis, but she won't out of fear of conditioning them into expecting cash... luckily we've only had to pay for her brother's airline tix to and from Argentina to go back to his Seminary.
QUOTE(ken cooke @ Mar 9 2008, 10:43 PM)
I'm going back in 1 1/2 wks to Barranquilla. Perfume for everyone, but a hammer & level for the father (who works in construction). When I get there, I help buy groceries, the food is served while I wait, and the father and I drink a bottle of Ron Medellin every other day...
When everyone gets tired of Ron Medellin, we always go for Cerveza Aguila.
When everyone gets tired of Ron Medellin, we always go for Cerveza Aguila.
Have you tried Aguardiente yet ?
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