You guys are spot-on with the replies but believe it or not, she said "Yes of course I must know how to change tire. If I will be drive then I must know how to change tire."

(Of course, the "steps" listed above are all true... she just wants me to know that she'll "know" how to change it. Probably b!tching at me to hurry up all the while because she could've just done it herself. Well then why did I come out here? Ah... marriage is great!)

I was very apprehensive about turning the girls loose on the streets of Houston alone. Unfortunately I work offshore in the oil industry and spend quite a lot of time away from home. So they really had to learn to get around town without depending on me or our neighbors all the time. All you can do is teach them the best that you can and hope for the best. You cannot protect them all the time.

After 4 years of being married to my wife, a lot of water has passed under the bridge. My wife has her own car and pretty much goes where she wants to, but at 46 years old she doesn't travel far from home alone unless she has to or there is a good reason. She has been on some wild adventures around town without me and has survived them so far. She gets lost all the time and tells me about her adventures afterward. I worry, but she's an adult and has her own life to live.

She did get a flat tire several months ago. She got off of work and found her car had a flat tire. I was out of town and instead of calling one of our neighbors or getting someone to change the tire, she drove home on the rim for 3+ miles. It wasn't the best choice, but I didn't get upset about it. I just bought a new tire and told her that there were better options she should have chosen. I really don't think my wife has the physical strength or mechanical ability to change a tire. Some women can and some can't.

My stepdaughter still has her license, but doesn't own a car anymore. Her mom and I bought her an old beat up Toyota Corolla several months after she got her license in 2004. I spent hundreds of dollars repairing bent rims, busted tires, broken struts, busted tail lights, and other damages from mishaps she got into while driving. In 2006 she hit a tree and spent 10 days in the hospital and several months recuperating. Her mom and I are hesitant to get her another car and we haven't. She lives with her Ukrainian boyfriend across town from us and she takes the bus or he takes her around in his car. Sometimes me or my wife take her places when her boyfriend has to work. So owning a car didn't turn out well for her, but she gets by without one. Even in a sprawling town like Houston. Driving isn't for everyone.

I don't want to scare anybody, but that is how it turned out for us so far.

I remember first driving with Olga in her Lada (or as she referred to it, her "lady") in and around Kazan. I considered her a pretty decent driver of moderate experience. When she came for a visit in the US again, she asked to drive one day. It was on a very challenging expressway in the Chicago area that was under heavy construction (I80 Borman Expressway). I was scared to death. The concept of staying in her lane or lane changes was obviously foreign and that was a really bad situation to be finding that out as the 18 wheelers kept reminding us. When she finally moved here for good I was very nervous at first. Lane changes, stopping distance, merging, blind spots were all very new concepts and had to be "taught". But she has improved her skills very quickly. Santa brought her a new GPS and after only 2 months in the US she was cruising the greater Chicago area like a pro. Now she is comfortable in most situations. She pointed out to me that highway driving even for an experienced Russian driver from anywhere other than Moscow is a foreign concept by definition. The average driver simply doesn't venture from their local city by car. They take a train or fly. The "open road" is just too hazardous for all but the most experienced professional drivers.

BTW - hello all from Chris and Olga. It has been a while. Married life has a way of occupying one's "spare time".

This is what scares the daylights out of me. Sure, I'm concerned for her safety, but several hundred bucks here and there is going to really add up and a 10 day hospital stay would break us, financially. We both wouldn't be able to drive after that.

It really scares me that she'll be travelling at high speeds with other vehicles so close and trees all around. I might buy her a helmet and a 5-point safety harness, even with the four airbags. I was hoping to still have my F-150 when she was driving, just for her safety, but I don't think that would've been fair to the people around her. Or the trees, for that matter.

Of course the hardest part is to convince her to get out of the car while you change it.

Like she would get out and risk getting dirty. FOOO!

Anyone have any ideas or tips/suggestions on helping her learn to drive?

She's just not getting it. We've been driving at least a dozen times and she's not making steady progress. One day she'll improve, the next, she's right back to square one and just forgot everything she did the last time.

She's telling me it's something along the lines of not ever driving anything so it's very difficult for her to learn to drive a car. I thought maybe taking her to the go-karts or even a driving video game would help but it seems like stuff like that is even too difficult.

Would a Power Wheels Barbie Jeep be going to far?

It might be time to enroll her in a driving school, or maybe have a friend or family member teach her. Sometimes there's just a "spousal" block in place, through nobody's fault, that keeps the learning from happening. And with a school, she might take it more seriously and overcome whatever mental block she's got in place right now.

You were a Zoomie, werent you slim? If so, I assume you can probably play a serious round of Golf. Even if you cant, borrow some clubs (if you need to) and go to the course with her. Make her drive you around in the golf cart. That might be a simpler, cheaper way for her to learn.

My mother never learned to drive. My father tried to teach her and whatever happened (and it must have been bad)...it really turned my mom off. Back in the day, many women didn't drive in city areas with good public transportation and two good legs. And most families only had one car anyway

I remember the good old days before power brakes, power steering and auto trans...had to double clutch those mean, gear-grinding manual transmissions.

Now we got cars that practically drive themselves but does that translate into quick learning? I know Slims answer.

so i been readin my driving book in english and my english is not bad..but the problem is i had trouble remembering things..I guess its because i always studied in russian,school,university...so i just picked up russian version of book in DMV.Its so much easier!!!!!!Just get your women russian book.it makes life much easier!
Driving lessons we take at the church parking at nights:))I am doing not that bad,sometimes we driving at night on small streets,but when another car gets near me i freak out:)))i guess i need more practise.working on it!!Hard...Thanks to my sweet husband for being so nice to drive me everywhere i want:)

I had an ex-girlfriend that knew not how to drive. I took her to parking lots for basic practise. After doing ok there we went for test drive on streets. Not so good. She signed up for professional driver training and she did much better. Later I gave to her tips and suggestions on improving driving skills, like paying attention to signs on highways to know what exit to take.

Thanks for all the tips, everyone.

I'm thinking that "spousal block" is in full effect right now. I just keep hoping that one day it'll snap into place and she'll be able to magically drive. Hard work isn't exactly paying off. But, I know if we keep practicing, one day she will just get it. The only question is, can I survive that long. She may kill me first!

And yes, Bobalouie, I was a Zoomie, but I was enlisted, so I never developed a decent handicap. There were some opportunites, but cheap beer and good company always ended up messing up my game. That, and it's extremely hard to concentrate when an F-16 hits afterburners right over your head in mid-backswing.

I could send you my wife as an instructor, she drives really quite well now, no language barrier, and no spousal apprehension. the other day we were going somewhere and I almost fell asleep in the car and then she woke me up to ask where she was.

A little advice when driving with your wife if she asks "Where are we?" dont reply " In the car arent you paying attention?"



Shoot I should have read you last post first before replying. Now I got the idea, Slim you and your wife come to GR for a weekend, we can go golfing and the wives can go driving. Two birds, one stone. Sometimes you have to think outside the box

Excellent ideas, Thomas!

I'm wondering though, if you're going to send your wife as an instructor, are you thinking inside the box?

10 lessions - took a break and tried to teach he myself (what a mistake)

Back at it..


Remeber - most did not even ride a bike....
or have a fater with a car.

And

Women have to take a Gynecological exam....

What does that have to do with driving?

Only possible correlations I see are:
(1) the guy doesn't want to drive his wife to the OB/GYN or
(2) Like driving, the wife refuses to have the exam; both of which are critical in the US.

Well my wife came equipped with a Russian driver's license and all she did was sit in the driver's seat of the car, and made a nice gift. When she came here tried driving in my work parking lot, that was OK but the pickup too big, and the suburban, forget about it. So tried the German import with an automatic transmission, she did fine, but the power steering was too stiff, and she impaled the poor car on a cement curb bumper.... Needless to say I was not good when she was behind the wheel, I hit notes that were meant for only in the opera house, (Honey how could you hit so high a note). Bought driving lessons, the instructor even picked her up. Bought his and hers, ooops hers and hers matching PT cruisers on the cheap with sticks, and after she got used to driving the stick shift no problem. I convinced myself that if she could drive a stick, then in an emergency she could drive anything. Now after 4 years in the states she drives to the stores, to school, but won't drive by herself to church, I can't figure that one out. Still have some reaction problems when she is driving, such as my hand bracing against the dash expecting immediate impact. Her retort was don't do that it distracts me! Don't put yourself through the misery of teaching a spouse to drive, unless you live on a farm and can put them in the seat of an old massey ferguson tractor and explain the intricacies of the clutch. Also would help if the plow is attached for some braking resistance, and even though the furrows won't be straight, you will get that North 40 plowed one way or the other. She loves her car, wouldn't trade it for anything, but likes to ask how much cars cost as we pass them on the road, I am afraid she is asking to know how much the insurance company can afford to pay out in the event of an accident. Other peculiarities, she loves to speed, I don't mean 5 miles over the posted limit, we are talking 15-20! Yet she slows down for curves on the interstate, go figure. Long trips I drive, although last trip to the Gulf coast she drove Houston rush hour traffic, a few foos, skatinas, and the like, but afterwards, the sweaty palms dried, and I was told sick or not you are driving through Houston and Dallas!

Currently in the process of getting the license.... will post back later this week on the progress....

My wife will not get into a box Im sure I will have to carry her or send her on a airplane or something.


Just for everyone to know my wife did complete her instruction and got her Michigan drivers license. I spent the weekend in a parking lot watching her go through the parking lot portion of the test. I got sick and she wondered if I was having fun. Talk about FOOO

Well I dont have to worry about it any longer.

First the drivers license and now the dental license

I'm getting ready to apply for my DL here in Raleigh as soon as my new SS card, with changed name, arrives.

Here's something I don't understand. I see that a car insurance is required to apply for a DL; since I don't have a car yet I'll have to have my husband put me on his insurance as the 2nd driver. BUT suppose I was here alone, without my husband, say on a student visa? What would be the right sequence of actions? First get a car, insure it, then apply for DL? But how to get a car and insure it without a DL? Looks like a vicious circle.

It varies by state. In Pennsylvania, for instance, you don't insurance to get a driver's license. But if you have a license and no car, what's the point of having a license anyway? i looked at the north carolina website and you can get liability insurance if you don't have a car, though. i think this is a policy unique to north carolina.

The point is, e.g., to be able to take Greyhound to WV, where cars are much cheaper, get a car there, and drive it back.

But the DL/insurance logistics in NC is totally mind-boggling.

It seems odd to me that you are required to have insurance to apply for a drivers liscence. People are not insured, vehicles are. In Pennsylvania the car you take your drivers test in must be insured. Are you sure you are reading the instructions properly B.F. Remember they were written by government employees who are not recognized for making anything clear.

Our driving lessons are going much better. She has not hit another house since the first one and I don't think I could take paying another 5 grand out of my own pocket so that is good. She graduated a few weeks ago from parking lots to back roads and Friday we took our first drive on a highway. I still have a little hair left. It might be a little whiter than it was but I have not pulled it all out yet.

Welcome back, TG. Sounds like you guys are about where we are in the driving stages.

I've had a few "tense moments" while out on the streets but she's making pretty good progress. Driving around town isn't so bad, it's the parking lots and that whole "reverse" thing that's still kind of tricky. I'm hoping it gets easier with practice.

The manueverability is tricky. (Here, there is a "cones" test where one must manuever through some cones and then reverse back through them, similar to a parallel parking test.) We're practicing that quite a bit in abandoned parking lots. We acquired a few cones and set them up just like the test.

She's passed the written test and has a physical driving test set up for two weeks from now. We're going to hit the cones hard (well, manuever around them, anyway... I hope we don't "hit" any of them!) and practice on the streets. We live in a busy area and it's very nerve-racking, even for me, so we'll be practicing hard the next couple of weeks.

I'll keep everyone updated. For me, this is almost as big a deal as the interview in Moscow! I'm going to be on here like, "Only 3 hours til the test! I can't sleep."

Thanks Slim,

In Pennsylvania you need to take the written test and physical to get the learners permit. I guess it makes sense to know someone is healthy and knows the rules of the road before they get behind the wheel.

The rules of the road still don't seem totally in her noggin. She asks me on each intersection what she should do. I think she usualy knows but wants to confirm it. Then if there is a side road angling in and she sees a yield sign she thinks she should yield even though the sign is on the other road. I think my gal is a ways away from driving on her own but she does not seem to be in a hurry for the test.

I do get some white knuckles sometimes.

Wow, they have to take a physical in PA? Here in Florida for renewals if you are over 90 or have an oxygen tank and a walker they waive the test and issue a lifetime license....at least it appears that way.

when i got my learner's permit in PA I didn't take any kind of physical. did they change it in the last five years or something?

I don't understand why this whole driving lessons thread exists. Driving is not very hard people. My wife, who did not drive in Russia, got her driver's license after being here a little less than a month - and a license to drive a motorcycle the following summer. Unless there is some kind of paperwork problem, I dunno why it should take much longer than this.

I never got my license because I totaled my brother's car with my mom is the passenger seat while I had my learner's permit. I probably will get it one day, but with a professional driving instructor teaching me how to drive.

If everyone was like your wife, then there would be no thread. Obviously you are in the minority. Seems pretty strait forward.

Sorry, but I still have my reading license. NC DMV gives me the list of required docs in black ink:

- proof of residency;
- proof of age and identity;
- proof of liability insurance;
- SS card.

All these are required even at a learner's permit stage. Besides, they verify the person's legal status in the country and it may take them another 2 months, I am told.

I think the main thing they want with the physical is to keep anyone off the road that may end be prone to seizures or fainting spells or the like.

The residency requirements in PA can be tough as well. Voyager went through some difficulties with that part. We got lucky and breezed through that part. You need a couple of bills with your name on and a bank account to that address here.

Yes, I think AK got lucky. We go out driving every day for an hour and a half and I think she is a good month away from her test at best. She still misses some stop signs, has a hard time with yields and has some rough spots to work out. Yesterday I had her on her first expressway. It went ok. I am still alive and the pickup is still in one piece.

They should have a "phone books required" stamp on the license. I've seen more than a few blue-hairs peeking up over the wheel as they pilot their 19-footers down I-75 going appx. 54MPH. Check the plates..... myflorida.com, of course.



Your wife also has a job. I didn't think working and paying bills was a hard concept to grasp either, but apparently it's pretty tough for some of the Russian ladies.

HAHAHAAHAHA. Thanks for the laugh man (:

Your comments about "being a fashionable girl" and you getting a second job (in this thread or another, don't remember which) got my attention. Is this causing much tension for you? This would be a serious problem for me - there is no way I could put up with a non-contributor or someone with the attitude your wife seems to have (as you describe here). Are you guys doing OK?

As for my wifey - yeah, she has a job (: She just (as in this month) got her master's degree (second overall, first American one) and is going out on interviews. She has a second interview with one place today - as a logistics manager (first interview was via phone, we were in Russia - then they wanted her to take some internet based leadership and skills tests, which she also did from Russia). I told her that all research seems to indicate this job should pay in the 50-60K range and that she should tell them she would be happy with $55K, based on her skills, education, experience, etc. - if the subject of money comes up in this interview. We'll see how it goes (:

Maybe if wifey gets this new job, she'll buy a motorcycle so we can ride together (:

As for getting a DL - well, 10 minutes of driving around should make it obvious to anyone that one needs no driving skills whatsoever to get a license. I just don't see why getting one seems to be so hard for some of these ladies.

Cheers!
AKDiver

I completely agree with you AKD, and yes, it does cause me some tension. Sure, there are some issues here at the house but one day it's crazy, and the next day it's wonderful. I really don't know what to do some I'm just rolling with it.... for now.

I'm hoping that one day it will just "come together" and either she'll get it, or I'll finally get her, and it will all make sense. Until then, as we say around here... it's 50/50!

I'm happy to have avoided this issue - for at least two reasons. First, she is career-oriented to begin with (she had her own travel agency in Russia, for example). Second, we talked about this issue in advance and had an understanding.

I think that pretty much the only thing that could do us in is the offspring issue - she wants a kid, I do not. We talked about this in advance too - agreed it could be a problem at some point - but decided to get married anyway. I got a reprieve for at least 5 years after getting married - quickly coming up on the third anniversary. I guess in another two plus years, I'm scheduled for a lifetime of child-induced misery. I guess that's a step above poverty-induced misery though.

If a woman is set on having kids, she will, whether you like it or not. If not with you, then with someone else, if you get my rift on the subject.

Uh....yes....but not sure what your point is. Like I said - I have a 5 year reprieve before having to fulfill my end of the agreement. After that - let the misery begin.

Just giving a cautionary warning in case you change your mind at the 5 year mark.

In other news, congratulations to Alaska on becoming the nation's first state to surpase on average $4 a gallon gas! As long as we are on the topic of driving
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080515/us_nm/...ine_alaska_dc_1

I had been driving in Bangkok for a couple of years before getting a license in St. Louis, MO. I learned with an instructor because there was no way I would learn with a friend or family member, and I learned on a stick so that made driving an automatic easy. When I moved to St. Louis I had Chris sit in the car (Dodge Neon) with me and we drove in a nearby parking lot so I could get used to the gas/brake. Then we took to the streets so I could learn which side of the street to stay on and how to turn. (I still get that confused now that I'm back in Bangkok. Until a car comes towards me and I'm wondering why it's in the wrong lane. I also still turn on my wipers regularly when signalling to turn.) Chris was patient and let me practice and take my time. No criticism, no pressure.

We went to the center together for my test but I was missing a letter from work so I couldn't take the test that day. I took the handbook home to study, though. (I was testing for a Class E license for work.) I returned myself the next day and passed the written test for the regular license. I asked if I could take the test for the Class E and was told that even if I failed, I'd get the other license. So I took the second test and passed. Then drove in the rain, in my flip-flops (I am from Thailand after all) and though I got points cut for rolling stops, I passed. Then I got very lost trying to find my way home.

The first time I ventured out on my own, with directions from GoogleMaps, I was lost for two hours, had driven halfway across town, and was bawling my eyes out in a parking lot somewhere. I was terrified of the highway so, after stopping and asking many, many times, found a road that led me home. The next day Chris came with me when I drove to work and I never got lost after that. I learned to love the highway. We shared one car so I was always driving from his work to mine, then back to his to pick him up. I think driving in America is loads easier than driving in Bangkok.

AkDiver... don't you think that the fact your wife learned so quickly had to do with the fact that Alaska isn't so populated and there aren't that many cars around? Isn't it one of those places where kids learn to drive their parents' truck at like, 14? I know people who have been driving for thirty-odd years who flat-out refuse to drive where I live because they're too scared.

Yeah, it's funny how that works, considering the gas we use here comes out of the ground and is refined here.


I'm just curious if you have ever been to Alaska - or if you just believe everything you see on TV.

Anybody with access to wikipedia knows that there will be less traffic in even the biggest city in Alaska than in New York City. Good luck finding even an empty parking lot in the Bronx to drive in, unless you enjoy getting up at 4 am. Alaska has comparatively more open space and less cars.

why does the russian woman need to learn how to drive anyways?

The whole state is Northern Exposure, right? (Or maybe 30 Days of Night.) I like Snow Dogs, personally.



See, that's why Charles is always welcome in the Russia Forum. Big Bravo, sir. Bravo.

Well, gee, if you want to use extremes - sure. The surface of the sun is hotter than than ice cube. Duh! But that hardly means that "there aren't that many cars around?" Nice try though. In any event, the answer to your question is a clear "no".

Well, it is a useful tool for driving the store and getting my groceries, picking up my dry cleaning, and bringing me home from the nudie club after I've had a few too many. Oh wait - what am I thinking? This is ALAKSA!!!! THere are no cars up here!!! I have to teach my wife to drive my moose - being sure not to hit my pet penguin when she pulls into the driveway.

she's not supposed to drive anywhere, it's your job to drive her!

Considering that the largest city in Alaska has less than 400,000 people, I think that there are definitely less cars in Alaska than most places in the US. So maybe learning how to drive in a month is feasible when you're not dealing with ten lanes of bumper-to-bumper traffic like you would deal with in many of the major metropolitan areas of the US. That's all I'm saying.