Hi there,

My name is Emma Sheridan and I am doing some research for a major broadcaster in the UK at the moment. I stumbled across this site and I'm hoping there might be some members on here that can help me shed some light on this project!! Let me explain a bit about the documentary...

At the moment I am working on the development of a programme looking at women increasingly assuming roles more traditionally associated with men, and in this specific case looking at women seeking foreign men for marriage.

We are hoping to produce a documentary that looks at women turning the traditional roles of seeking foreign partners on their heads, and getting online or otherwise to find their future husbands outside of the their home country. On the internet Russia and the Ukraine have almost become synonymous with marital introduction agency websites and it seems that brides from every corner of the globe are seeking western men on the internet. But what we have been interested in finding are western women seeking foreign husbands. According to various blogs and international dating sites there seem to be a growing number of marriage-hungry women becoming disillusioned with the western dating game and looking for happiness further away from home, however there don't seem to be any specific sites offering western women the chance to search for and meet a foreign husband.

We are extremely keen to discover whether any existing couples are out there, where the women have actively sought a foreign (Russian/Ukrainian) husband and asked him to relocate to their home.

I wondered whether anyone out there is aware of any such couples who are co-habiting/married/divorced. I would love to talk to anyone(confidentially of course) willing to help!

Thanks for taking the time to read this!
Emma
Emmas@zigzag.uk.com
02070178755

Caveat: Anyone replying and considering cooperating with this person, please be extremely careful. A lot of documentarians out there are attack journalists or worse. Know what you're getting into, and make sure to run any releases by a lawyer. (And if there are no releases...run, don't walk away.)

Not saying this is one of them, but it's always in your best interest to be protected. If anyone is interviewed, we'd love to hear about your experience. Emma, we'd love to see the final product when it's finished.

Good point Mox. If this was really someone interested in finding women seeking foreign men, the writer should put this on the fiancee visa section. It seems that the documentary is suppose to be about women seeking foreign men not just people from FSU.

Considering how many hit pieces have been written about men bringing foreign women and the so-called abuses, anyone responding to this writer should be extremely careful. I would ask for references first and then confirm them separately with the organization she works for.

The same lady posted this on another russian message board I read. I told everyone there to be careful too. The last time I saw something like this happen, the author took everything that was said out of context and villified every person she quoted. I would not cooperate with her at all.

I understand why you might feel a bit suspicious of me, but we are still only in the early research stages of the documentary. There would be no commitment to filming or anything like that at this stage. I am just trying to speak to as many people as possible for ideas, opinions, suggestions etc. All are welcome!

I agree with all the posts thus far. We had a reporter in Kazan' wanting to do a spread on Alla & I. Alla nearly killed me when at first I agreed. We had a long discussion and Alla pointed out some of the points Kirk already did. Needless to say, I turned down their request. Just be careful!

No offense intended Emma. I'm sure your credentials will bear out, but we do need to be careful.

In any event, make sure you are PAID FOR YOUR TIME! You can bet that others involved in the project will be.

I don't think there's anyone here who qualifies anyway--i've never come across anyone here who was specifically looking for a russian man to marry over any other kind.

I would - with the sufficient financial incentive.

www.oligarchmatch.com?

perhaps em is not going research for a documentary, maybe she is just embarrassed to admit she wants to meet a foreign man and cant admit it and she is looking for a place to find one. Just a thought......

I don't think there's any need to berate the OP. There's a good chance she's not one of the "bad guys." A documentary with positive coverage would be most welcome.

And to my knowledge, interviewees in a real (non-propaganda) documentary are not usually compensated. YMMV.

I agree that it would be great to finally see a positive report on marrying someone from a foreign country. I know that when I was going through this process a couple of women asked me if I knew where they could look for a husband from outside the country. I still don't know of one specifically aligned with this intention.

Maybe its that men in this country are more willing to venture outside for new and interesting women to marry. I don't buy this baloney about women just wanting to come to America or any western leaning country. The process is not kind to relationships and the prospect of leaving your country, your family and your friends is a daunting task.

Regarding Emma's search, it seems that she's already found out that a lot of people are not willing to discuss this because of past abuses by the media. If she finds such a site and is willing to explore the reasons with an open mind and no underlying point of view, then I hope she will share this with us on VJ.

Yes, we've "debated" that many times as well. Seems our "visitors" to this site agree that only the men are looking for sex-slaves and dishwashers. The women tend to look for love and since they're more genuine (and in compliance with societal norms) in their search, they don't have to look as far. Their needs are filled by match.com and yahoo personals, etc. by men closer to home.

As far as I know, all the western women in this forum have met their husbands/fiances through "traditional" (non-internet related) means. They've all at least acknowledged the disparity in availability of women vs. men on the web and have yet to come out and say "http://www.redstarhui.ru or http://www.orangerevolui.ua is the best site for meeting Russian/FSU men."

As a matter of fact, I've yet to see a single western woman that went "shopping" for a husband in Russia.

You will, however, find a lot of that going on over in the Middle-Eastern/North-Africa thread. Seems they're the yin to our yang. Try posting there. Happy hunting and can't wait to see this documentary!

I don't think that's women "acting like men" in MENA. I think it's because it's just not accepted in a lot of Muslims families for a woman to marry a non-Muslim man, and a bit more acceptable for Muslim men to marry non-Muslim women. I know women who would have been disowned completely by their parents if they had dated a non-Muslim American guy.

Sure, but aren't 20 to 40-year-old Middle Eastern "man-candies" offering themselves to middle-aged, overweight American women by the thousands in much the same way Russian/FSU women are to men here?

Social taboo or modern necessity? And why the disparity?

that's weird... i had never heard of that.

If you were a man with a Russian wife you would've.

Men who have "mail-order brides" from Russia/FSU or the P.I. are almost always lopped into one group by those not in the know. The same folks tossing us in there also toss the MENA ladies in the same basket.

Edited: I actually feel worse for them (the ladies in MENA). We have to deal with "being scammed" for a greencard. They have to deal with "being scammed by Al-Qaeda" for a greencard. Plus, it's always been easier for a man to have a "trophy wife." It's never really been socially acceptable for a normal woman (not widowed by a rich husband) to have a "boy toy." Plus, women always have to deal with everyone's opinion of their relationships. Men get a free pass with "well, at least she's hot."

First of all the term "man-candies" is such a disturbing visual that it gives me the willies
Second my sister isnt overweight she is undertall....

It takes a really special kind of western woman to marry a Muslim middle Eastern man. She has to give up nearly all of her equal rights. Rights that were earned through many many years of struggling and fighting. But if that's the kind of life they dream of....why not?? I recently worked with a woman who had just finished her divorce from a man from Jordan. She always had some really startling stories about being a virtual slave and living without a voice. I'll never understand the attraction. I'm sure there are some really great stories, but I only ever seem to hear the horror stories. I wouldn't dream of asking my Sasha to live beneath me, but instead beside me.

*waiting for the women from MENA to bust into the russia forum*

hahah here I am here I am!

All I am going to say is that from now on my pet name for my husband is gonna be "man candy".

well, I'll say that AND point out that most of you guys over here are very sensitive (often rightly so) to the negative stereotypes surrounding your marriages so I would think you would be among the first NOT to buy into stereotypes regarding other people's relationships. The myth of 'giving up nearly all her equal rights' is especially well, silly. My marriage is based on mutual respect, admiration and friendship. My husband makes me laugh everyday and he CERTAINLY has no interest in me living 'beneath' him or without a voice. He'd be in big trouble if he did

ok carry on

True story: Some years back I was working for Lucent on a telephone expansion project in Saudi Arabia. I'd been in country for a couple of months when they sent me to Jeddah to be the technical lead on convincing some big Saudi Telecom muckity-muck that he needed to give Lucent more money for crap they didn't need. So we flew from Riyadh to Jeddah, and the airport there is a sea of guys in white robes and red kaffiyah's, and women dressed in black from head to toe. You literally could not see a single woman's face or anything above the bottoms of their ankles. All of a sudden this woman starts yelling "Ahmad! Ahmad! AHMAD!" It was an American woman, and she had gotten separated from her husband, and was scared. So everyone is looking around trying to figure out where this woman is, but nobody could figure it out for close to a minute. I guess it got resolved because she stopped yelling, but it was at once humorous and a little sad.

Having said that, I knew a couple Saudi's married to Western women, and the women seemed genuinely happy. As you say Jason, they give up a LOT of rights and freedom (women aren't allowed to drive in the Kingdom, for example) but at least the few women I knew were happy with the decision. Which is good because the protections for women over there are limited to non-existent.

For what it's worth, I had a love-hate relationship with SA. I met some of the most kind-hearted and awesome people while I was over there, and I saw some things that left me deeply unsettled. I saw a traditional Muslim wedding, which was amazing, and I saw a man beheaded for the terrible crime of homosexuality. (not so awesome.) Spent the day with a group of bedouins who wanted nothing more than to share their meal and stories with me, and I saw two young women hauled off by the religious police for having the audacity to insist I use a vending machine in front of them. A definite mixed bag.

Not to make light of some of the things you wrote about here, but I couldn't resist the opening I saw.......

Are we to infer that some or all of your previous stories/comments were not true?

Hehe. Yes, anything I write that's not prefaced with "True Story" is an outright fabrication.

Including this post.

Yes, I just couldn't resist commenting on this as well. I am far from a submissive woman and my Muslim husband and I have our relationship balanced quite well, I feel. I can't say that I really know any "Middle Eastern" men personally, but I would imagine that there are quite a few of them that break the mold. Maybe it takes a special kind of Middle Eastern man to marry a Western woman.

It seems your love-hate relationship with the Kingdom is pretty similar to mine. I don't know if you noticed, but didn't it seem like the love tended to side with the "normal Saudis" and the hate sided with those affiliated with the Crown?

And they say North Korea has a bad human rights record! (I'm sorry... I forgot. We don't buy oil from North Korea. I'll shut up now.....................*In Arabic accent* "Thank you Mr. Bush!")



And since we're on the subject of stereotypes, I don't think it's so much that the guys in this forum really take it personally when we're "accused" of buying brides over the internet or through the mail, it's more of an acknowledgement of disgust at how ignorant Americans can be sometimes.

See above for another "ignorant Americans" subject.

You got it in one. Were you in Riyadh? I saw my first (and hopefully last) execution in "chop-chop square." The locals were so proud of their capital punishment system that they pushed me right up to the front. They wanted the Westerner to get a good look.


I'm glad to be able to say I experienced SA, but I'm somewhat ashamed of the work I did there. Unknown to me until late in the project, I was installing a computerized infrastructure that would allow wiretapping of both land lines and mobile telephones. It's the exact same equipment AT&T have in their facility in SF. Of course, the difference is that the government in Saudi Arabia don't need warrants to listen in on their citizens' calls.

Oh wait...nevermind.


Yep. I haven't seen a "cleaning/cooking/sex bride" thread in awhile, but the ones I read did make me chuckle.

I wasn't in Riyadh but if I looked really hard through my 10X50 Steiners, I could see the caps of the big mosque.

I too can't say that I'm proud of the work I did there. I spent a lot of time guarding gates where people weren't even allowed to protest or else they would've ended up in "chop-chop square." A lot of the old-timers I was there with were over there during Desert Storm and they all recounted tales of being pushed up to the front to see the spectacle.

And now, seeing how much their society and govt. is emulating ours.... I have to say that I too am somewhat ashamed of being a part of it. But, that's how it works in govt. work. On the one hand you're "helping spread technology and civility, life and a future" to remote parts of the world but at the same time you're helping that person's rulers clench the fist a little tighter. All the while making your own rulers a little richer.

Life.