thanks to jeraly for complementing my shedding hair too
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VisaJourney.com > General Family Based Immigration Topics > Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits
thanks babblesgirl.. the times, they are a pretty exciting
thanks to jeraly for complementing my shedding hair too
thanks to jeraly for complementing my shedding hair too
QUOTE(DanielParul @ Mar 1 2008, 07:21 PM) 
Oh and just on the sidenote - I had to help Daniel with all his documentation and then do mine also. Hate that bl**dy word now.. Am just a uneducated, neanderthal - Specialist Trainer (Sales, CS and Accounts) for Insurance who has worked for American and British Companies.... What do I know about the stress that the USCs go through for undeserving us 
Must have been hard filling out those forms with no electricity. Can you even afford a pen and a compooter?!
QUOTE(babblesgirl @ Mar 1 2008, 07:13 PM)
Lol, I dunno about patience. I think my impatience with the poster's remarks fueled my fire. You could be right about the motivation behind the posts since the scenarios described seem rather specific, although I assumed it was just a generalisation about RANUSCs (glad you defined that!). The poster mentions a couple of times a career in which immigration appears to be important - so I assumed the perspective stemmed from that somehow.
Regardless, you are right somepin must have gone pear-shaped somewhere along the way if this is the only perspective the poster can give.
Regardless, you are right somepin must have gone pear-shaped somewhere along the way if this is the only perspective the poster can give.
I have been in your situation *hugs* I had my fire fueled then realised it was like arguing with a brick wall that the reason it is still standing is because of the cement
Brick wall insists on arguing that this is strictly not the case and that brick wall is merely an architectural marvel. 
Now I choose to pay attention to the OP instead and respond to intelligent and well thought out responses even if they contradict what I believe - at least they make logical sense
QUOTE(DanielParul @ Mar 1 2008, 07:14 PM)
Just miss Daniel so much now... he's at the Newark airport right now waiting to catch his flight to Delhi - to me 
He's going to be sooooooo jet lagged when I drag him to the Consulate for my interview too
He's going to be sooooooo jet lagged when I drag him to the Consulate for my interview too
Oh you must be soo excited!
Agreed on the making life interesting thing as well - I used to hate change and crave stability and routine. While I still don't particularly like this rollercoaster all the time I would never change a thing, even the extended July wait because it has taught me so much about myself, helped me grow as a person and taught us both a lot about our relationship and let that grow as well
I still want stability but I'm not adverse to a few rocky roads to keep life interesting - just have to make sure I get myself some decent hiking boots...
*can't seem to cut out the metaphors*
QUOTE(DanielParul @ Mar 1 2008, 07:21 PM)
Oh and just on the sidenote - I had to help Daniel with all his documentation and then do mine also. Hate that bl**dy word now.. Am just a uneducated, neanderthal - Specialist Trainer (Sales, CS and Accounts) for Insurance who has worked for American and British Companies.... What do I know about the stress that the USCs go through for undeserving us
Is that a complaint you scum-of-the-earth RANUSC?!?!
QUOTE(babblesgirl @ Mar 1 2008, 07:23 PM)
Must have been hard filling out those forms with no electricity. Can you even afford a pen and a compooter?!
Compooterz don't use electricity - they use elastic bands. What is a pen? What is a form? Electricity is used to brush your hair or did we establish that was for something else in the end? Help me fellow RANUSCs!!
QUOTE(babblesgirl @ Mar 1 2008, 02:23 PM)
Must have been hard filling out those forms with no electricity. Can you even afford a pen and a compooter?!
LMAO.... naah!! electricity is used to brush hair, and give us shock therapy. Who needs it to fill a few forms
QUOTE(babblesgirl @ Mar 1 2008, 02:20 PM)
QUOTE(DanielParul @ Mar 1 2008, 02:21 PM)
Just miss Daniel so much now... he's at the Newark airport right now waiting to catch his flight to Delhi - to me
He's going to be sooooooo jet lagged when I drag him to the Consulate for my interview too
He's going to be sooooooo jet lagged when I drag him to the Consulate for my interview too
Yep, I totally agree with you. What an exciting time for you too! Best of luck with the interview! *hugs*
Ohmygoodness, that's exactly what went through my head when I was reading her post, too!
Parul, that's SO exciting for you! Good luck and all the best at your interview. That's so nice that you will have Daniel with you. My hubby (then fiancé) was with me, too, and it sure helped to take the pressure off.QUOTE(DanielParul @ Mar 1 2008, 02:21 PM)
Oh and just on the sidenote - I had to help Daniel with all his documentation and then do mine also.
TOTALLY agree. I had to take care of all the documentation too. My husband didn't have a clue. But that's okay, because attention to detail is one of my strengths and most in tune with my line of work. His strengths lie in other areas. Not that I can "comprehend the nature and scope of the pressures and dynamics involved", mind you.
QUOTE(Jeraly @ Mar 1 2008, 07:25 PM)
Agreed on the making life interesting thing as well - I used to hate change and crave stability and routine. While I still don't particularly like this rollercoaster all the time I would never change a thing, even the extended July wait because it has taught me so much about myself, helped me grow as a person and taught us both a lot about our relationship and let that grow as well
I still want stability but I'm not adverse to a few rocky roads to keep life interesting - just have to make sure I get myself some decent hiking boots...
*can't seem to cut out the metaphors*
I still want stability but I'm not adverse to a few rocky roads to keep life interesting - just have to make sure I get myself some decent hiking boots...
*can't seem to cut out the metaphors*
Precisely! No relationship is ever perfect. The sign of a good one is the ability of both of you to work through the difficult times and come out the other side still smiling about being with the person you love. Any relationship will face tests, but we have really big ones to deal with straight off and I think it helps to put things into perspective. I know J and I will have arguments, but we have learned through this process what is important to us as a couple and I feel confident that we can deal with those things as and when they arise.
I'm liking the metaphors
QUOTE(babblesgirl @ Mar 1 2008, 02:38 PM)
I'm liking the metaphors
Met a fours help us simpel foke unnerstan stuff that's beyon ... beyon... way past our comm prenn shun.
QUOTE(Crikey! @ Mar 1 2008, 07:37 PM)
QUOTE(DanielParul @ Mar 1 2008, 02:21 PM)
Oh and just on the sidenote - I had to help Daniel with all his documentation and then do mine also.
TOTALLY agree. I had to take care of all the documentation too. My husband didn't have a clue. But that's okay, because attention to detail is one of my strengths and most in tune with my line of work. His strengths lie in other areas. Not that I can "comprehend the nature and scope of the pressures and dynamics involved", mind you.
Same here! I suppose the assumption is that because the USC petitions the K1 visa, the fiance(e) is redundant in this process. (S)he simply needs to wait for the plane ticket to arrive in the post (because a NON-USC could never possibly have either the sense or financial means to buy a plane ticket), pack a bag, hop on the plane and then spend the next 10 years doing bugger all (due to inability to do anything constructive) except flicking light switches and marvelling at the wonder of electricity and threatening the USC with the affadavit of support.
QUOTE(Crikey! @ Mar 1 2008, 07:42 PM)
Met a fours help us simpel foke unnerstan stuff that's beyon ... beyon... way past our comm prenn shun.
QUOTE(babblesgirl @ Mar 1 2008, 02:50 PM)
Same here! I suppose the assumption is that because the USC petitions the K1 visa, the fiance(e) is redundant in this process. (S)he simply needs to wait for the plane ticket to arrive in the post (because a NON-USC could never possibly have either the sense or financial means to buy a plane ticket), pack a bag, hop on the plane and then spend the next 10 years doing bugger all (due to inability to do anything constructive) except flicking light switches and marvelling at the wonder of electricity and threatening the USC with the affadavit of support.
QUOTE(DanielParul @ Feb 29 2008, 12:58 AM)
Just read too many threads talking about - got the visa - just married - isn't working out - can we get a divorce??.... I am going for my interview in a few days (not that all those threads bother me).. just make me wonder if all of us really understand the change that we will go through, the adjustments that we will need to make... How do we prepare ourselves and how much is too little or too much preparation??
We = USC and SO
Would be nice to get both parties perspective
We = USC and SO
Would be nice to get both parties perspective
Every relationship and marriage is an adjustment. As is every move to a new house, a new city, a new country. Combine them and, IMO, it is a huge adjustment. Like every relationship, some make it and some don't. Communication, patience, and compromise.....it CAN be done.
I'm not going to lie, though.......it is not all smooth sailing. You think just cause the visa is in your hand, it's all going to be sunshine and rainbows. That is often not the case. There's more paperwork, huge frustrations, and some disappointments along the way. I have found that we are constantly changing the course on which we were headed. It hasn't killed us. In fact, I think it's made us smarter and stronger.
QUOTE(babblesgirl @ Mar 1 2008, 10:12 AM)
Personally I think you do have an agenda. Looking back over the thread you have ONE perspective on immigrants and ONE perspective on what they should do in the event of the relationship breaking down. Much of the content of your posts reveals a negative attitude towards fiance visa relationships. Sure, not all of them survive. No one is arguing that. Sure, no one can ever be *really* prepared for what happens after marriage - but these aspects are common to all human relationships. At least give us some credit for having thought about the choices we are making.
You don't have to just look over this thread, it's in every thread he posts to. Tito's got a one-track mind. He posts only in this forum, and he posts only the one argument. Over and over and over. All the while insisting he doesn't have an agenda. Pretty sure that kind of behavior is the very definition of an agenda, but maybe I've got immigrant-tard syndrome or something.
QUOTE(Crikey! @ Mar 1 2008, 07:37 PM)
That's so nice that you will have Daniel with you. My hubby (then fiancé) was with me, too, and it sure helped to take the pressure off.
Am jealous - will be all alone when I have mine... boo!!!!
TOTALLY agree. I had to take care of all the documentation too. My husband didn't have a clue. But that's okay, because attention to detail is one of my strengths and most in tune with my line of work. His strengths lie in other areas. Not that I can "comprehend the nature and scope of the pressures and dynamics involved", mind you.
Am jealous - will be all alone when I have mine... boo!!!!
QUOTE(DanielParul @ Mar 1 2008, 02:21 PM)
Oh and just on the sidenote - I had to help Daniel with all his documentation and then do mine also.
TOTALLY agree. I had to take care of all the documentation too. My husband didn't have a clue. But that's okay, because attention to detail is one of my strengths and most in tune with my line of work. His strengths lie in other areas. Not that I can "comprehend the nature and scope of the pressures and dynamics involved", mind you.
Yeah - I must say Jeremy helped out a lot at first but now I know a hella lot more than he does
QUOTE(Crikey! @ Mar 1 2008, 07:42 PM)
QUOTE(babblesgirl @ Mar 1 2008, 02:38 PM)
I'm liking the metaphors
Met a fours help us simpel foke unnerstan stuff that's beyon ... beyon... way past our comm prenn shun.
Can't compute - words contain more than one syllable...
QUOTE(babblesgirl @ Mar 1 2008, 07:50 PM)
Same here! I suppose the assumption is that because the USC petitions the K1 visa, the fiance(e) is redundant in this process. (S)he simply needs to wait for the plane ticket to arrive in the post (because a NON-USC could never possibly have either the sense or financial means to buy a plane ticket), pack a bag, hop on the plane and then spend the next 10 years doing bugger all (due to inability to do anything constructive) except flicking light switches and marvelling at the wonder of electricity and threatening the USC with the affadavit of support.
No no no no no - electricity doesn't work light switches - those are activated by magic cockroaches. *sigh* wow - you're even stupid for a RANUSC
QUOTE(mox @ Mar 1 2008, 08:16 PM)
You don't have to just look over this thread, it's in every thread he posts to. Tito's got a one-track mind. He posts only in this forum, and he posts only the one argument. Over and over and over. All the while insisting he doesn't have an agenda. Pretty sure that kind of behavior is the very definition of an agenda, but maybe I've got immigrant-tard syndrome or something.
RIGHT ON!!11!!!!!1
Keerk - maybe you are really a RANUSC... were you born outside the US? Or is it just too much time spent in other countries?!
QUOTE(Jeraly @ Mar 1 2008, 01:21 PM)
RIGHT ON!!11!!!!!1
Keerk - maybe you are really a RANUSC... were you born outside the US? Or is it just too much time spent in other countries?!
Yeah, I think all those years spent abroad must have addled my brain. Would explain why I can't seem to balance my checkbook--math is HARD! Darn you immigrants and your infernal un-American ways!
Jeraly you are just too much! I hereby grant you the award "MOST RETARDED RANUSC"! Pls accept your trophy 
... SPEECH SPEECH SPEECH!!! (your reatarded fans are clamoring)QUOTE(babblesgirl @ Mar 2 2008, 03:50 AM)
QUOTE(Crikey! @ Mar 1 2008, 07:37 PM)
QUOTE(DanielParul @ Mar 1 2008, 02:21 PM)
Oh and just on the sidenote - I had to help Daniel with all his documentation and then do mine also.
TOTALLY agree. I had to take care of all the documentation too. My husband didn't have a clue. But that's okay, because attention to detail is one of my strengths and most in tune with my line of work. His strengths lie in other areas. Not that I can "comprehend the nature and scope of the pressures and dynamics involved", mind you. You did too? Gosh, I thought I was the only RANUSC who was granted the "entitlement'" to compile and arrange 95% of the documents we submitted for I-129F. Had to photoshop dates on all our pics (made montages also--not necessary but i wanted to show off our cute pics as much as i could), scanned & pinted all the necessary tickets and receipts, wrote all the needed supplements including cover letter and letters of intent and pre-filled I-129F & G-325 for him. All that was left for him was to insert his BC & divorce papers, 2x2pic, affix his signature where it is needed, pay the application fee and send it off. Of course I had VJ as my guide but still it was too much for my RANUSC brain to handle... my IQ further dropped to -311 and my nose was totally bleeding after that.
I was supposed to respond to tito's "
went right above your head" but mox and others have already done so and it is pointless to add anything more to that especially when it seems it will never get across. And I was not offended in anyway coz though it was a response to my post, i am sure he was directing it to all RANUSC.... the truth is I actually feel sorry for tito. 
Tito, are you still madly in love with your ex-wife whom you petitioned for K1 visa not a long time ago? If so, then it explains why you sound so bitter... If not, then why are you cementing her memory in your heart and mind by spewing your anger towards alien k1 beneficiaries and alien spouses/immigrants? It will never make her come back nor will it make your wounds less painful... it will only make you remember her and what she did to hurt you more and more.
when all things are said and done, most of us here will turn off the pc and have a life with our friends and family.... when all things are said and done, we will keep holding on to the hope that we will have a wonderful life with our SO's soon... some of us may fail, it might even be me but i will never take my pains out on others. I have been through a lot of pains in my life already but I have never allowed it to turn me into a bitter, hopeless, miserable, joyless person.... how about you? when all things are said and done, when you turn off your pc, how are you then?
i just hope in time, you will learn not only to forgive her but also forgive yourself... i just hope in time, you would be able to free yourself from your pains and anger and that your wounds would finally heal and you could begin to see that the world is not that dark after all.
my prayers goes out for you.
went right above your head" but mox and others have already done so and it is pointless to add anything more to that especially when it seems it will never get across. And I was not offended in anyway coz though it was a response to my post, i am sure he was directing it to all RANUSC.... the truth is I actually feel sorry for tito. Tito, are you still madly in love with your ex-wife whom you petitioned for K1 visa not a long time ago? If so, then it explains why you sound so bitter... If not, then why are you cementing her memory in your heart and mind by spewing your anger towards alien k1 beneficiaries and alien spouses/immigrants? It will never make her come back nor will it make your wounds less painful... it will only make you remember her and what she did to hurt you more and more.
when all things are said and done, most of us here will turn off the pc and have a life with our friends and family.... when all things are said and done, we will keep holding on to the hope that we will have a wonderful life with our SO's soon... some of us may fail, it might even be me but i will never take my pains out on others. I have been through a lot of pains in my life already but I have never allowed it to turn me into a bitter, hopeless, miserable, joyless person.... how about you? when all things are said and done, when you turn off your pc, how are you then?
i just hope in time, you will learn not only to forgive her but also forgive yourself... i just hope in time, you would be able to free yourself from your pains and anger and that your wounds would finally heal and you could begin to see that the world is not that dark after all.
my prayers goes out for you.
well, at least tito is always here for entertainment.
so the rule for k1 visas is:
the foreign, female fiancee (only girls come to the US on a K1, because only male americans fall in love with their maid) comes to the US. she cannot read, write or speak and she lives in front of the stove. the USC files the AOS paperwork for her, but only if she cooks decent meals and if she gives head often enough. otherways he threatens her to not file for AOS for her. is that what happened to you and your maid, tito?
so the rule for k1 visas is:
the foreign, female fiancee (only girls come to the US on a K1, because only male americans fall in love with their maid) comes to the US. she cannot read, write or speak and she lives in front of the stove. the USC files the AOS paperwork for her, but only if she cooks decent meals and if she gives head often enough. otherways he threatens her to not file for AOS for her. is that what happened to you and your maid, tito?
You're all making this too easy.
First of all, everything's ironed itself out fine, thanks. I have personal and professional experience that I'm sharing.
The point of view that is being confused for an "agenda" is a perspective based in a practice that deals in exactly these situations. There are many immigrants in situations that they find difficult, and they dump their frustration out on the USC, and in the process, foist all the blame on the USC and look around for sympathy in a captive audience that sometimes involves a handful of participants here. But what about the USC's perspective? Many of these threads deal with immigrants who seem to be having a very difficult time adjusting. Of course, in a strange place with different circumstances, it's easier to make someone else responsible than to accept responsibility for the relationship onesself.
I don't see what the confusion is all about. But if you have not experienced both sides of the issue in a professional context, or have been through the process yourself, or do not have another basis for understanding what happens A LOT in these situations, then you're really not in a position to render judgment. There ARE 2 sides to the story, and in these threads, much of the time, we're only hearing one. Maybe the truth is somewhere in the middle. Yet everyone seems to be quick to jump on the sympathy bandwagon without really knowing what's going on beyond what the poster is writing about. Maybe...just maybe...it's a matter of perception, or a different sort of expectation that the immigrant might have had than the reality of life here. Very simple, really. Life in one place is quite a bit different from life in another place...no matter your mathematical proclivities.
First of all, everything's ironed itself out fine, thanks. I have personal and professional experience that I'm sharing.
The point of view that is being confused for an "agenda" is a perspective based in a practice that deals in exactly these situations. There are many immigrants in situations that they find difficult, and they dump their frustration out on the USC, and in the process, foist all the blame on the USC and look around for sympathy in a captive audience that sometimes involves a handful of participants here. But what about the USC's perspective? Many of these threads deal with immigrants who seem to be having a very difficult time adjusting. Of course, in a strange place with different circumstances, it's easier to make someone else responsible than to accept responsibility for the relationship onesself.
I don't see what the confusion is all about. But if you have not experienced both sides of the issue in a professional context, or have been through the process yourself, or do not have another basis for understanding what happens A LOT in these situations, then you're really not in a position to render judgment. There ARE 2 sides to the story, and in these threads, much of the time, we're only hearing one. Maybe the truth is somewhere in the middle. Yet everyone seems to be quick to jump on the sympathy bandwagon without really knowing what's going on beyond what the poster is writing about. Maybe...just maybe...it's a matter of perception, or a different sort of expectation that the immigrant might have had than the reality of life here. Very simple, really. Life in one place is quite a bit different from life in another place...no matter your mathematical proclivities.
Having been on both sides of the fence I belief my experience renders valid advice.
I was an immigrant and was married to my petitioner for 24 years and then divorced him due to his emotional abuse and
cheating.
I am now a USC and petitioning an immigrant.
My advice : Be responsible and accountable for your own choices and actions, look within yourself and change what needs to be changed.
Look deep before you leap when selecting your mate.
Communication, compromise and respect are the essence in any relationship. When your SO has completed the adjustment period, respect his freedom to maneuver his new environment without resenting his new found navigation skills, without feeling compelled to " be needed " at every corner.
Respect his growth. Check yourself for co-dependency issues.
Do you " need to be needed ? " Resent it if he doesn't as much anymore ? See his emerging new confidence as threatening ?
Check yourself, what drives you ?
If the relationship doesn't work out and your foreign SO has wronged you and it can't be fixed then you move on.
Forgive and move on with hope. Life is short. A pancake always has two sides.
I was an immigrant and was married to my petitioner for 24 years and then divorced him due to his emotional abuse and
cheating.
I am now a USC and petitioning an immigrant.
My advice : Be responsible and accountable for your own choices and actions, look within yourself and change what needs to be changed.
Look deep before you leap when selecting your mate.
Communication, compromise and respect are the essence in any relationship. When your SO has completed the adjustment period, respect his freedom to maneuver his new environment without resenting his new found navigation skills, without feeling compelled to " be needed " at every corner.
Respect his growth. Check yourself for co-dependency issues.
Do you " need to be needed ? " Resent it if he doesn't as much anymore ? See his emerging new confidence as threatening ?
Check yourself, what drives you ?
If the relationship doesn't work out and your foreign SO has wronged you and it can't be fixed then you move on.
Forgive and move on with hope. Life is short. A pancake always has two sides.
QUOTE(tito @ Mar 1 2008, 08:33 PM)
You're all making this too easy.
You just think it's easy. But actually it's just that you don't know when you've been called out, beaten, tarred, feathered, and run out of town.
QUOTE
First of all, everything's ironed itself out fine, thanks. I have personal and professional experience that I'm sharing.
Do yourself a favor and NEVER tell anyone what firm you work for. You've got one of the absolute worst professional demeanors of anyone I've ever run across. If your employers ever knew the crap you were spewing I'm sure they'd throw your asz out on the street faster than you could clean out your desk.
QUOTE
The point of view that is being confused for an "agenda" is a perspective based in a practice that deals in exactly these situations. There are many immigrants in situations that they find difficult, and they dump their frustration out on the USC, and in the process, foist all the blame on the USC and look around for sympathy in a captive audience that sometimes involves a handful of participants here. But what about the USC's perspective? Many of these threads deal with immigrants who seem to be having a very difficult time adjusting. Of course, in a strange place with different circumstances, it's easier to make someone else responsible than to accept responsibility for the relationship onesself.
Again with the arrogance. It's funny how your professional experience seems to only see a problem with the immigrant, and doesn't acknowledge the entire story, as you insist there are 2 sides to. You keep preaching there are 2 sides of the story, but you only acknowledge the single side of the story. You keep saying this forum is filled with stories about how the immigrant is mistreated, but you refuse to acknowledge that a) there are just as many posts the other way round and b) by its very nature a post is going to be one-sided because it's being posted by only the one person. As Jeraly and MANY MANY others have suggested, you need to address the immigration issues in the post, and stfu up the OTHER side of the story. Of course there's another side of the story, but it's a moot point. The other side of the story can't be told unless the other side happens to log into VJ and tell it.
QUOTE
I don't see what the confusion is all about. But if you have not experienced both sides of the issue in a professional context, or have been through the process yourself, or do not have another basis for understanding what happens A LOT in these situations, then you're really not in a position to render judgment. There ARE 2 sides to the story, and in these threads, much of the time, we're only hearing one. Maybe the truth is somewhere in the middle. Yet everyone seems to be quick to jump on the sympathy bandwagon without really knowing what's going on beyond what the poster is writing about. Maybe...just maybe...it's a matter of perception, or a different sort of expectation that the immigrant might have had than the reality of life here. Very simple, really. Life in one place is quite a bit different from life in another place...no matter your mathematical proclivities.
And again with the "you are unqualified because you have no professional experience" arguments. Bullsh1t. When it comes to the particulars of the law, then you might have an argument. But so far nothing in this thread, nor the many threads you leech onto have dealt with particulars. So again, stfu about telling everyone they're not qualified to speak on an issue. You might want to note that the very nature of a forum is self-correcting. If anyone gets it wrong you bet someone will step in and correct them. Your argument, like all your arguments, holds no water.
Tell me tito...if you have no agenda then why is it that you post only in this forum, and only on the same subject. You never talk about anything else, and you always try to steer the conversation to fit your "2 sides of every story" argument. Again I say, this is the very definition of an agenda. So at least have the intellectual honesty to admit your agenda. It won't garner your skin-headed supremest motives any more respect, but at least you can stop blathering on about how you have no agenda.
QUOTE(tito @ Mar 2 2008, 12:33 AM)
You're all making this too easy.
First of all, everything's ironed itself out fine, thanks. I have personal and professional experience that I'm sharing.
The point of view that is being confused for an "agenda" is a perspective based in a practice that deals in exactly these situations. There are many immigrants in situations that they find difficult, and they dump their frustration out on the USC, and in the process, foist all the blame on the USC and look around for sympathy in a captive audience that sometimes involves a handful of participants here. But what about the USC's perspective? Many of these threads deal with immigrants who seem to be having a very difficult time adjusting. Of course, in a strange place with different circumstances, it's easier to make someone else responsible than to accept responsibility for the relationship onesself.
I don't see what the confusion is all about. But if you have not experienced both sides of the issue in a professional context, or have been through the process yourself, or do not have another basis for understanding what happens A LOT in these situations, then you're really not in a position to render judgment. There ARE 2 sides to the story, and in these threads, much of the time, we're only hearing one. Maybe the truth is somewhere in the middle. Yet everyone seems to be quick to jump on the sympathy bandwagon without really knowing what's going on beyond what the poster is writing about. Maybe...just maybe...it's a matter of perception, or a different sort of expectation that the immigrant might have had than the reality of life here. Very simple, really. Life in one place is quite a bit different from life in another place...no matter your mathematical proclivities.
First of all, everything's ironed itself out fine, thanks. I have personal and professional experience that I'm sharing.
The point of view that is being confused for an "agenda" is a perspective based in a practice that deals in exactly these situations. There are many immigrants in situations that they find difficult, and they dump their frustration out on the USC, and in the process, foist all the blame on the USC and look around for sympathy in a captive audience that sometimes involves a handful of participants here. But what about the USC's perspective? Many of these threads deal with immigrants who seem to be having a very difficult time adjusting. Of course, in a strange place with different circumstances, it's easier to make someone else responsible than to accept responsibility for the relationship onesself.
I don't see what the confusion is all about. But if you have not experienced both sides of the issue in a professional context, or have been through the process yourself, or do not have another basis for understanding what happens A LOT in these situations, then you're really not in a position to render judgment. There ARE 2 sides to the story, and in these threads, much of the time, we're only hearing one. Maybe the truth is somewhere in the middle. Yet everyone seems to be quick to jump on the sympathy bandwagon without really knowing what's going on beyond what the poster is writing about. Maybe...just maybe...it's a matter of perception, or a different sort of expectation that the immigrant might have had than the reality of life here. Very simple, really. Life in one place is quite a bit different from life in another place...no matter your mathematical proclivities.
A valid point that different perspectives and especially expectations can often cause problems. Therefore they must be
expressed and talked about.
Cover every issue that comes to mind.
Another very important fact, if you do not do the homework of what is all involved financially, emotionally, physically,
and understand the risk involved then it is in your best interest to not petition a foreign SO and look within your
own country.
Therein lies your responsibility and accountability. You made a choice and if it doesn't work out you deal with the consequences.
This is giving me deja vu
We have similar "disagreements" in sub saharan...however I dont find titos posts NEARLY as offensive as some of the others I have read...
The way I now choose to deal with this conflict is to ignore the offender. These posting wars never solve anything...and lead to locked threads...
That is my opinion...
We have similar "disagreements" in sub saharan...however I dont find titos posts NEARLY as offensive as some of the others I have read...
The way I now choose to deal with this conflict is to ignore the offender. These posting wars never solve anything...and lead to locked threads...
That is my opinion...
QUOTE(DanielParul @ Mar 1 2008, 02:46 AM)
QUOTE(SJ @ Feb 29 2008, 05:24 PM)
how do I prepared my new life? (it depends who you're with) me and hubby get along very well its why we are married.
its why we are married.Thats true!!! The 'BIG' question is.... How many will falter when the real tests of life happen???
is there another real test? I thought I'm done with real test..
then I will answer that real test.
Yes, Perseverance, I know what you mean, except our regional " disagreements " were mostly like" happy thread intrusions " no ?
At least here they are contained to the 'effects forum ' and not offensive to me. Some valid points were made. But a constant eroding negativity can bring on discord as we have recently seen in our regional forum.
A more balanced approach may be the answer.
At least here they are contained to the 'effects forum ' and not offensive to me. Some valid points were made. But a constant eroding negativity can bring on discord as we have recently seen in our regional forum.
A more balanced approach may be the answer.
Tito's posts went over muh head guess my crap detector must be broken today
this, however, I got:
QUOTE(mox @ Mar 2 2008, 05:03 AM)
But actually it's just that you don't know when you've been called out, beaten, tarred, feathered, and run out of town.
QUOTE(tucson_chick @ Mar 2 2008, 03:56 AM)
well, at least tito is always here for entertainment.
so the rule for k1 visas is:
the foreign, female fiancee (only girls come to the US on a K1, because only male americans fall in love with their maid) comes to the US. she cannot read, write or speak and she lives in front of the stove. the USC files the AOS paperwork for her, but only if she cooks decent meals and if she gives head often enough. otherways he threatens her to not file for AOS for her. is that what happened to you and your maid, tito?
so the rule for k1 visas is:
the foreign, female fiancee (only girls come to the US on a K1, because only male americans fall in love with their maid) comes to the US. she cannot read, write or speak and she lives in front of the stove. the USC files the AOS paperwork for her, but only if she cooks decent meals and if she gives head often enough. otherways he threatens her to not file for AOS for her. is that what happened to you and your maid, tito?
I cannot read or write either - glad it is not just me QUOTE(SJ @ Mar 2 2008, 05:48 AM)
QUOTE(DanielParul @ Mar 1 2008, 02:46 AM)
QUOTE(SJ @ Feb 29 2008, 05:24 PM)
how do I prepared my new life? (it depends who you're with) me and hubby get along very well its why we are married.
its why we are married.Thats true!!! The 'BIG' question is.... How many will falter when the real tests of life happen???
is there another real test? I thought I'm done with real test..
then I will answer that real test.Nope - there are real tests but the only way to pass them as a RANUSC is to try and get a negative score to prove your inferiority
QUOTE(StillThePrettiest @ Mar 2 2008, 07:23 AM)
Tito's posts went over muh head guess my crap detector must be broken today
No StP - it is because you are a RANUSC and therefore unable to comprehend anything that tito's superior mind can create
Oh good Lord, Tito. You not only didn't let this thread die, but you came back with the same thing. I can't believe you are being purposely obtuse, so it must be something else. The reason that "many of these threads deal with immigrants who seem to be having a difficult time adjusting" is because they are the ones who ARE adjusting. "Adjusting" meaning status; changing from one immigration status to another. Hence the "Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits" forum. "But what about the USC's perspective?" you have asked. Well, take a look at the next four threads following this one. They are ALL by USC's. You are conveniently not seeing them because it does not suit your agenda. The OP asked for thoughts and perspectives from both sides (specifically stating both the USC and the SO) on immigration preparation and how to adjust to change. But you jump into the thread and insist that members are only focussed on the immigrant's perspective.
I understand that the work that you do is focussed on the USC's situation and perspective and that it is beneficial to your firm that you buy into the immigrants-are-dumb-@ss-opportunists-who-take-no-responsibility-for-their-own-actions and "just can't understand the stressors and strains" on the almighty American scenario, and that "the USC bears all the risk of the relationship." That's great. It ups the successful litigation count. But don't get so blindsided by your very narrow perspective that you fail to see that there are underlying issues in every relationship which don't necessarily point directly to the "irresponsible" immigrant. Keep that perspective at the office. The real world is very different.
I understand that the work that you do is focussed on the USC's situation and perspective and that it is beneficial to your firm that you buy into the immigrants-are-dumb-@ss-opportunists-who-take-no-responsibility-for-their-own-actions and "just can't understand the stressors and strains" on the almighty American scenario, and that "the USC bears all the risk of the relationship." That's great. It ups the successful litigation count. But don't get so blindsided by your very narrow perspective that you fail to see that there are underlying issues in every relationship which don't necessarily point directly to the "irresponsible" immigrant. Keep that perspective at the office. The real world is very different.
Very nice post, Crikey
Adjustments are made from both sides of the relationship - the immigrant and the USC. While there are certainly less adjustments needed coming from a country like Canada, still there are differences that surprise you when you arrive and take some getting used to. The Canadian and the American 'attitudes' to life are distinctly different and probably based in our different respective origins as countries. From my own perspective, I have an incredible amount of respect and admiration for those individuals moving to the States from countries with very different cultures - that takes a lot of courage and a lot of love - and those are the very same traits that will help make a marriage work as well. Love we can all understand but it takes courage to face the differences, the unknowns, to be vulnerable, to depend on another, to blend your lives together so that they become intermingled - sometimes a difficult thing to do for a person who is used to being independent and on their own - and to do this with a person from a cultural environment different than your own. That works both ways, btw - for the USC and the immigrant spouse.
I don't know if you can plan enough ahead of time. In spite of all of the planning there will be things that take you by surprise - from little personal idiosyncrasies to major challenges caused by unexpected disruptions to your plans. You just have to make the commitment to the other person, give them the benefit of the doubt and try not to sweat the little things.
In our marriage I have found it is the little things that took us more by surprise than the bigger issues that we discussed. Those are the ones that generally you don't discover until you are actually faced with them. So, do as much planning as you can - and then expect that there will be things that you can't plan for, but try to minimize those by really getting to know both yourself and your partner individually - and then together as a couple - before you get married. The process will definitely continue after you are married as well.
(Oh, yeah, I am another one of those dumb immigrants who has done all of the paperwork associated with this process - and the majority of that before we found VJ)
Adjustments are made from both sides of the relationship - the immigrant and the USC. While there are certainly less adjustments needed coming from a country like Canada, still there are differences that surprise you when you arrive and take some getting used to. The Canadian and the American 'attitudes' to life are distinctly different and probably based in our different respective origins as countries. From my own perspective, I have an incredible amount of respect and admiration for those individuals moving to the States from countries with very different cultures - that takes a lot of courage and a lot of love - and those are the very same traits that will help make a marriage work as well. Love we can all understand but it takes courage to face the differences, the unknowns, to be vulnerable, to depend on another, to blend your lives together so that they become intermingled - sometimes a difficult thing to do for a person who is used to being independent and on their own - and to do this with a person from a cultural environment different than your own. That works both ways, btw - for the USC and the immigrant spouse.
I don't know if you can plan enough ahead of time. In spite of all of the planning there will be things that take you by surprise - from little personal idiosyncrasies to major challenges caused by unexpected disruptions to your plans. You just have to make the commitment to the other person, give them the benefit of the doubt and try not to sweat the little things.
In our marriage I have found it is the little things that took us more by surprise than the bigger issues that we discussed. Those are the ones that generally you don't discover until you are actually faced with them. So, do as much planning as you can - and then expect that there will be things that you can't plan for, but try to minimize those by really getting to know both yourself and your partner individually - and then together as a couple - before you get married. The process will definitely continue after you are married as well.
(Oh, yeah, I am another one of those dumb immigrants who has done all of the paperwork associated with this process - and the majority of that before we found VJ)
QUOTE(StillThePrettiest @ Mar 2 2008, 10:55 AM)
LMAO
QUOTE(TracyTN @ Feb 29 2008, 03:46 PM)
QUOTE(rebeccajo @ Feb 29 2008, 05:49 AM)
Bitter....table for one...........
And yet they'll be insisting in other threads that's it's only the poor women who had nothing that are suitable wives for American men.
To the OP:
This section is full of horror stories. People who didn't know each other well, people who got taken advantage of, people who rushed into things. It's very sad. But it's not a risk that every international couple faces, and I'd venture to say that it's not a majority of cases. Most people don't come on to post just "Whee, everything's great! I need no advice!"
Point is, whether some other couple's marriage failed has no bearing on my relationship. So, they filed for a visa like we did. So what? Other couples married at my church, and I don't think that if they break up, my marriage is doomed, even though I likely have more in common with them that I do with people here. Don't borrow trouble; their problems are not yours.
Getting married is a huge adjustment. Immigrating is a huge adjustment both for the immigrant and for the USC. There will be minor annoyances and real tests. This is true of every couple, not just those that had to fill out extra paperwork. But if you know your spouse well and you love them and you're committed to communicating well, you can work through the adjustment.
QUOTE(mox @ Mar 1 2008, 02:16 PM)
Tito's got a one-track mind. He posts only in this forum, and he posts only the one argument. Over and over and over. All the while insisting he doesn't have an agenda. Pretty sure that kind of behavior is the very definition of an agenda, but maybe I've got immigrant-tard syndrome or something.
I think it's closer to the definition of insanity (you know...doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result)?
FWIW, 'immigrant-tard syndrome' literally made me laugh aloud.
QUOTE(TracyTN @ Mar 2 2008, 06:30 PM)
FWIW, 'immigrant-tard syndrome' literally made me laugh aloud.
Otherwise known as ITS. For only a few hundred dollars a day, you can help an ITS-challenged person make a new and better life for themselves. Send your donations now, and we'll keep you updated on your immigrant's process. From their initial consulate interview, to their port of entry and beyond. Order now and you'll even get photos of your immigrant conspiring for a green card and faking abuse at the hands of their angelic USC's. But act now. Once all the foreigners are inside the United States, they'll all be gone. So don't delay!
Just got done catching up on this thread... I missed out on a lot of action yesterday
I will now be officially posting on VJ after my interview tomorrow.. Hugs to all
I will now be officially posting on VJ after my interview tomorrow.. Hugs to all
QUOTE(DanielParul @ Mar 2 2008, 11:31 PM)
Just got done catching up on this thread... I missed out on a lot of action yesterday
I will now be officially posting on VJ after my interview tomorrow.. Hugs to all
I will now be officially posting on VJ after my interview tomorrow.. Hugs to all
Good luck to you our prayers are with you im sure you will do fine.....
Good luck Parul - I know you'll do great
QUOTE(mox @ Mar 2 2008, 09:45 PM)
QUOTE(TracyTN @ Mar 2 2008, 06:30 PM)
FWIW, 'immigrant-tard syndrome' literally made me laugh aloud.
Otherwise known as ITS. For only a few hundred dollars a day, you can help an ITS-challenged person make a new and better life for themselves. Send your donations now, and we'll keep you updated on your immigrant's process. From their initial consulate interview, to their port of entry and beyond. Order now and you'll even get photos of your immigrant conspiring for a green card and faking abuse at the hands of their angelic USC's. But act now. Once all the foreigners are inside the United States, they'll all be gone. So don't delay!
You people are all so helpful!! That's so great!
The crises in relationships occur mostly in situations where the immigrant does not have the background and experience that is part of a way of life in, say, Canada or England. Instead, the immigrant comes to the US without the benefit of the things that many of you gratuitous intervenors take for granted. If you can leave the myopic world for a minute, you might just recognize that the problems to which I am referring are very real. Why so many of you are continuously so defensive about all this is quite curious. I suppose that ignorance of the reality can BE bliss...so carry on.
The crises in relationships occur mostly in situations where the immigrant does not have the background and experience that is part of a way of life in, say, Canada or England. Instead, the immigrant comes to the US without the benefit of the things that many of you gratuitous intervenors take for granted. If you can leave the myopic world for a minute, you might just recognize that the problems to which I am referring are very real. Why so many of you are continuously so defensive about all this is quite curious. I suppose that ignorance of the reality can BE bliss...so carry on.
QUOTE(rebeccajo @ Feb 29 2008, 05:49 AM)
QUOTE(tito @ Feb 29 2008, 02:36 AM)
Any relationship must have a commitment, and the commitment must be mutual. Lots of times, when a USC meets someone outside of the US, and the relationship builds and takes form during a series of trips to that place to be with the person, and/or during phone conversations in the interim that are all about missing each other and wanting to be with the other person again, the reality of life and the challenges that exist often get ignored to a certain extent. Then, once thrust into the stresses of life in the US, the reality sets in, and many times, it's nothing like what the immigrant could possibly imagine, especially in instances where the way and manner and relative quality of life in one place is so different from life in the US. Naturally, there is frustration and disillusion on the part of both parties that is compounded by differences in culture, differences in education, differences in background, differences in religion, differences in experience, differences in upbringing, differences in age, differences in world-view, differences in values...differences in virtually everything except the mutual commitment on the part of BOTH persons for themselves, for each other, and for the relationship.
There must be that level of commitment in every aspect of life for the adjustment to be viable. There must be trust, there must be compromise, and there must be understanding. In my view, those are the essential elements that underlie a relationship that works. If that triad has a weak link, the relationship is destined for a rocky road.
With respect to all these stories about abuses and threats and such? Yeah, there's got to be another side. Many times, perhaps those posting these horror stories are too proud to capitulate and compromise, and expect the USC to be a different way, like they were during the 2 week vacation when they met and decided to be a couple. In my view, and the way I see this, and that's not to say it's the gospel by any means, the immigrant simply cannot comprehend what life is like in the US and the stresses and strains put on the USC...to get the immigration documentation in order, to make all the trips, to pay all the phone bills, to set up all the travel, to get everything in order, to maintain a heavy work load in order to afford another person in the household, to pay the mortgage, to make the car payment, to pay the gas, electricity and water bill, to pay the finance charges for the new appliances, to make sure the immigrant is comfortable enough...there's a LOT on the plate of the USC that, perhaps...just maybe...the immigrant just doesn't understand. Is that abuse? Maybe the USC feels that the failure or inability on the part of the immigrant to grasp the nature of the stresses is ALSO an abuse! And it's that frustration to which the immigrant is not accustomed is, MAYBE, what the immigrant calls "abuse".
All these horror stories about abuse, control, threats, arise out of the perception on the part of the immigrant. Maybe life in the US is just a little too tough for the immigrant, much more so than they might have imagined...
Again - who bears the risk? Who is "right"? What are the options? Who gets the benefit of the doubt? The USC on the hook for 10 years if the immigrant wants to stay, so that the USC bears all the risk of the relationship? Or the immigrant who has the option of going back home to re-establish his or her life as he or she knows, in which case everyone is put back into their original position before the relationship fell apart (no harm - no foul)? Tough issue.
There must be that level of commitment in every aspect of life for the adjustment to be viable. There must be trust, there must be compromise, and there must be understanding. In my view, those are the essential elements that underlie a relationship that works. If that triad has a weak link, the relationship is destined for a rocky road.
With respect to all these stories about abuses and threats and such? Yeah, there's got to be another side. Many times, perhaps those posting these horror stories are too proud to capitulate and compromise, and expect the USC to be a different way, like they were during the 2 week vacation when they met and decided to be a couple. In my view, and the way I see this, and that's not to say it's the gospel by any means, the immigrant simply cannot comprehend what life is like in the US and the stresses and strains put on the USC...to get the immigration documentation in order, to make all the trips, to pay all the phone bills, to set up all the travel, to get everything in order, to maintain a heavy work load in order to afford another person in the household, to pay the mortgage, to make the car payment, to pay the gas, electricity and water bill, to pay the finance charges for the new appliances, to make sure the immigrant is comfortable enough...there's a LOT on the plate of the USC that, perhaps...just maybe...the immigrant just doesn't understand. Is that abuse? Maybe the USC feels that the failure or inability on the part of the immigrant to grasp the nature of the stresses is ALSO an abuse! And it's that frustration to which the immigrant is not accustomed is, MAYBE, what the immigrant calls "abuse".
All these horror stories about abuse, control, threats, arise out of the perception on the part of the immigrant. Maybe life in the US is just a little too tough for the immigrant, much more so than they might have imagined...
Again - who bears the risk? Who is "right"? What are the options? Who gets the benefit of the doubt? The USC on the hook for 10 years if the immigrant wants to stay, so that the USC bears all the risk of the relationship? Or the immigrant who has the option of going back home to re-establish his or her life as he or she knows, in which case everyone is put back into their original position before the relationship fell apart (no harm - no foul)? Tough issue.
Bitter....table for one...........
Thanks for the chuckle, RJ!
QUOTE(tito @ Mar 3 2008, 01:23 PM)
You people are all so helpful!! That's so great!
The crises in relationships occur mostly in situations where the immigrant does not have the background and experience that is part of a way of life in, say, Canada or England. Instead, the immigrant comes to the US without the benefit of the things that many of you gratuitous intervenors take for granted. If you can leave the myopic world for a minute, you might just recognize that the problems to which I am referring are very real. Why so many of you are continuously so defensive about all this is quite curious. I suppose that ignorance of the reality can BE bliss...so carry on.
The crises in relationships occur mostly in situations where the immigrant does not have the background and experience that is part of a way of life in, say, Canada or England. Instead, the immigrant comes to the US without the benefit of the things that many of you gratuitous intervenors take for granted. If you can leave the myopic world for a minute, you might just recognize that the problems to which I am referring are very real. Why so many of you are continuously so defensive about all this is quite curious. I suppose that ignorance of the reality can BE bliss...so carry on.
Would just like to remind you, tito, of what the original post was:
QUOTE
Just read too many threads talking about - got the visa - just married - isn't working out - can we get a divorce??.... I am going for my interview in a few days (not that all those threads bother me).. just make me wonder if all of us really understand the change that we will go through, the adjustments that we will need to make... How do we prepare ourselves and how much is too little or too much preparation??
We = USC and SO
Would be nice to get both parties perspective
We = USC and SO
Would be nice to get both parties perspective
Anything in here about abuse or immigrants who abuse the system or who file false abuse charges against their spouses, or any of the other anti-immigrant crap you care to blather? How on earth did we get to talking about "the problems to which [you are] referring?" How did we go from a poster who is experiencing some jitters about their own move to the United States to "ZOMG TEH IMIGRITZ PWNS AR USC'S!!!!!!11"? Oh that's right...you de-railed the thread purposely to once again foist your anti-immigrant views on all us unbelievers.
You know...when everyone around you is crazy except you...
Maybe in your haste to deal with the poster instead of the message because you became tweaked about my comments regarding Russian mail order brides a while ago, you missed not only the message, but this: "Would be nice to get both parties perspective" And you obviously didn't pay much attention to my first contribution to this thread, either.
Good to know that a handful of posters constitutes "everybody" important. If a billion flies eat feces, does that mean it's good? Bon apetite! Thanks...but no thanks.
I could go on and on with a series of insults as well, but those don't do a lot of good for anyone, despite the page after page here.
Stick to the message.
Good to know that a handful of posters constitutes "everybody" important. If a billion flies eat feces, does that mean it's good? Bon apetite! Thanks...but no thanks.
I could go on and on with a series of insults as well, but those don't do a lot of good for anyone, despite the page after page here.
Stick to the message.
QUOTE(tito @ Mar 3 2008, 03:21 PM)
Good to know that a handful of posters constitutes "everybody" important. If a billion flies eat feces, does that mean it's good? Bon apetite! Thanks...but no thanks.
Best...tito...analogy...ever.
I think it important to bear in mind that tito's personal experience may be spilling over into his professional judgment. With that thought, let's remain compassionate. He's experienced something that many people on here cannot begin to fathom. And it bring with it scars that apparently have yet to heal properly. Please folks ...be gentle
QUOTE(diadromous mermaid @ Mar 3 2008, 03:54 PM)
I think it important to bear in mind that tito's personal experience may be spilling over into his professional judgment. With that thought, let's remain compassionate. He's experienced something that many people on here cannot begin to fathom. And it bring with it scars that apparently have yet to heal properly. Please folks ...be gentle
I can't help but feel like I just got looked at.
Tell ya what. I'll stand down. I'll give tito the opportunity to make good on what he insists he is trying to do, which is to use his personal and professional experience to contribute to the conversation. I (and others) only expect that he do exactly that...participate in a helpful and positive manner. Fair enough?
Whatever personal experience has led him to this point I don't wish on anyone. But it is worth noting that you can't help heal others until you are healed yourself.
QUOTE(mox @ Mar 3 2008, 07:07 PM)
QUOTE(diadromous mermaid @ Mar 3 2008, 03:54 PM)
I think it important to bear in mind that tito's personal experience may be spilling over into his professional judgment. With that thought, let's remain compassionate. He's experienced something that many people on here cannot begin to fathom. And it bring with it scars that apparently have yet to heal properly. Please folks ...be gentle
I can't help but feel like I just got looked at.
Tell ya what. I'll stand down. I'll give tito the opportunity to make good on what he insists he is trying to do, which is to use his personal and professional experience to contribute to the conversation. I (and others) only expect that he do exactly that...participate in a helpful and positive manner. Fair enough?
That's fair enough. It's OK to challenge someone's facts, especially if they appear to be very sweeping comments (which tito's are), but the general feeling I get from his posts is that he has not yet reached a point of peace over the matter.
QUOTE
But it is worth noting that you can't help heal others until you are healed yourself.
And, yes, that's true. From someone who knows only too well
QUOTE(Jeraly @ Mar 2 2008, 03:18 AM)
QUOTE(tucson_chick @ Mar 2 2008, 03:56 AM)
well, at least tito is always here for entertainment.
so the rule for k1 visas is:
the foreign, female fiancee (only girls come to the US on a K1, because only male americans fall in love with their maid) comes to the US. she cannot read, write or speak and she lives in front of the stove. the USC files the AOS paperwork for her, but only if she cooks decent meals and if she gives head often enough. otherways he threatens her to not file for AOS for her. is that what happened to you and your maid, tito?
so the rule for k1 visas is:
the foreign, female fiancee (only girls come to the US on a K1, because only male americans fall in love with their maid) comes to the US. she cannot read, write or speak and she lives in front of the stove. the USC files the AOS paperwork for her, but only if she cooks decent meals and if she gives head often enough. otherways he threatens her to not file for AOS for her. is that what happened to you and your maid, tito?
I cannot read or write either - glad it is not just me QUOTE(SJ @ Mar 2 2008, 05:48 AM)
QUOTE(DanielParul @ Mar 1 2008, 02:46 AM)
QUOTE(SJ @ Feb 29 2008, 05:24 PM)
how do I prepared my new life? (it depends who you're with) me and hubby get along very well its why we are married.
its why we are married.Thats true!!! The 'BIG' question is.... How many will falter when the real tests of life happen???
is there another real test? I thought I'm done with real test..
then I will answer that real test.Nope - there are real tests but the only way to pass them as a RANUSC is to try and get a negative score to prove your inferiority
QUOTE(StillThePrettiest @ Mar 2 2008, 07:23 AM)
Tito's posts went over muh head guess my crap detector must be broken today
No StP - it is because you are a RANUSC and therefore unable to comprehend anything that tito's superior mind can create
lmfao.. Of course I know what she means. I joke about it. I give you one of the easy testing I get through!
The GOD tested me if I can through when he took my mother last 1991(Deceased)
I hated talking about problems.. its hurts me when I look back about TESTING jeeeeeeeeeeez go hunt it on your own.
QUOTE(DanielParul @ Mar 1 2008, 02:46 AM)
QUOTE(SJ @ Feb 29 2008, 05:24 PM)
how do I prepared my new life? (it depends who you're with) me and hubby get along very well its why we are married.
its why we are married.Thats true!!! The 'BIG' question is.... How many will falter when the real tests of life happen???
Then I will face that test.
It's ironic that there is this swarming of ridicule in this context. So, glad you're all entertained, because there's not much of the true essence and substance that is being afforded appropriate dignity. But really - laugh all you want. In the real world, the joke is on some of you, sorry to say.
QUOTE(tito @ Mar 4 2008, 05:42 AM)
It's ironic that there is this swarming of ridicule in this context. So, glad you're all entertained, because there's not much of the true essence and substance that is being afforded appropriate dignity. But really - laugh all you want. In the real world, the joke is on some of you, sorry to say.
tito, may i ask you one question?
what are you doing here in this community? is it your mission to spread your opinion about K1 visas and the foreign spouses into the world?
well, because if this is the reason you are here, i don't think it does any good for you. you only become more bitter to see other people happy (90%) and then those whose marriages and relationships fail (10%). these 10% are fuel in your fire.
it is never good to be bitter about love.
QUOTE(DanielParul @ Feb 29 2008, 01:58 AM)
Just read too many threads talking about - got the visa - just married - isn't working out - can we get a divorce??.... I am going for my interview in a few days (not that all those threads bother me).. just make me wonder if all of us really understand the change that we will go through, the adjustments that we will need to make... How do we prepare ourselves and how much is too little or too much preparation??
We = USC and SO
Would be nice to get both parties perspective
We = USC and SO
Would be nice to get both parties perspective
All of us immigrants will have to make huge adjustments, that's for sure. And the only way to prepare ourselves is to keep our immense expectations realistic and in perspective. Like everything else, everything will be exciting and new in the beginning, but once reality settles in we'll have to make sure to remember what we came for...which was for a loved one.
My fiance and I talk a lot about how we imagine our life together, what our life should look like, what we like and dislike...we try not to leave each other in the dark regarding mutual expectations.
I have been to the US many times and think that I have a pretty good idea about what the lifestyle and people are like. But as a matter of fact, often times I get totally overwhelmed there by things which seem strange or odd to me. That's when I start feeling like a stranger and a real alien (BTW, that's one of the funny little things -that the US uses the same term for somebody who's not from America and somebody who's from Mars...
)Ehm....anyways....
It is crucially important to talk to each other. It's important in regular relationships where both people share the same background, and even more in relationships where sometimes worlds collide. That's the reason why I think people should try to get to know each other as well as possible, before the immigrant makes this huge leap and comes to the US.
I'm determined to adjust myself as much as I can to the country I'm immigrating to. Not only because of the man I love, but also out of respect for the people of that country.
I guess that's a good basis to start from, once the immigrant walks off that plane at the Port of Entry (to put it in a pathetic way....
)I know that my fiance and I are very different in many ways because of different backgrounds, language issues, attitudes, ........ a lot of understanding and mutual support is crucially important in any relationship, but even more in this kind of relationship or marriage.
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