I totally agree! I only wear black clothes and haven't been lucky with fashion of these past years Either too pale colors or very bright colors. Never black. And I hate loose tops... it makes me look so small... (but I hate tight jeans... go figure). Anyway... it's hard to find clothes for work. it's hard to find clothes "not for work" that I will like. And that's the same for shoes... Either the high heels are way too high, either it's too flat.
I guess we're not supposed to buy clothes we like but clothes that they decided we should buy.


I won't be too far from Chicago either! I doubt I'll travel there very often, but I'll probably come once or twice!

Not quite as bad as what Hollywood would let on. There's several layers to the industry depending on the target consumer. The Prada's and exclusive design houses are quite competitive with one another, and the buyers/design staff are quite self-important. Since price isn't that much of an obsticle at this level the focus is more on perceived "value." The next level down is high quality mass merchandising (Nordstrom, Saks, etc.) this more of a regular business - with a lot of who-you-know type relationships (this is the market my company sold into). At this level you deal primarily with buyers (entry level positions really) and merchandisers. They look at product lines like any other retailer will and see things in terms of price/value and take many of their color cues from the design houses so they can persent themselves as fashion forward, but also provide enough classic merchandise to still make money. Then you get the real mass merchandisers that deal in volume - there you have more of a cut throat business (Steinmart, Coat Factory)- but it is focused on price (how low can they drive down prices from manufacturing houses).

Having been to a goodly number of industry parties in NY I can say (but not here) that at least some of the Hollywood stories are true (or were at least).

Exactly! Very frustrating.

I don't understand why cuts and sizes are continuously being changed, either. I bought some cheap v-neck sweaters from H&M that I found very flattering and clung nicely without showing off every lump and bump. However I could only buy them in black as they were sold out of the red and purple ones.

A couple of months later again I was in H&M and they had plenty of red and purple V-necks. I nearly bought them then and there but decided to take the precaution of trying them on first. They looked the same but were completely different! The shoulders were too wide, the arms far, far too long and the body was shorter!

I've been feeling like a mess recently. Right now my sweater is all bobbly from too many washes, my trousers are looking a little faded and worn (they're 4-5 years old, though, so they've lasted well!) and my shoes are spattered in mud and a little scuffed.

Oh, and we must probably congratulate ourselves for having the most verbose thread on these forums.

I love San Jose (and you'd all be welcome to visit!) but I don't know how long we'll remain there. It's just so expensive! I've said to Alex that I'd definitely prefer to stay on the west coast and I'd also prefer not to be too far north so we're currently looking at Portland, Oregon and Californian cities that are further inland at the moment.

It's really not far from St. Louis - I used to go there quite a bit in my post college days. If you and Bryan could make the quest someday I would love to meet you both. If your favorite color is black you might want to make your POE NY, there the official color is black and I'm sure you'll be able to find everything you could want. Of course that would probably not be high on your list of priorities at that time.

Gratzies

Too much time on our hands is my guess.

I know San Jose (and CA is general) is very expensive, I lived down in San Diego for a couple of years and while beautiful, the prices were crazy - especially for real estate.

maybe they'll be nice with me if they see I'm wearing the right color

Yes - of course, coming from the UK I'm used to paying a premium for food, electronic goods, public services and fuels, but when you factor in the cost of healthcare and the ridiculous rent prices (and the UK isn't exactly cheap in that regard, either) the cost of living in both the UK and California is roughly equivalent. So although I'm not entirely unprepared what is going to be a problem is me not being able to work for a few months. On two salaries we should be fine but even then we'll have to start seriously thinking in a few years' time about how we are going to manage raising children (we'd prefer it if one of us could stay at home or only work part-time), hence we're thinking about moving and living in a city that may allow us to save a little more money.

Thank you for the fashion industry explanation, Blake! I find it all very interesting.

uhhmm...anyone here who'll be at or say atleast close to Oceanside Cali?? talking about clothes here...yeah, im kinda like thinking wat should i get considering whats "in" there and considering the weather too

dang! and were originally an October filer..but same as you, they mistakenly sent it to Chicago

Skinny jeans??? Who mentioned skinny jeans? I love skinny jeans!!! Well, as long as I'm not the one wearing it

I think i would have to stick with boot-cut and flare jeans even if they went out of fashion. At least it looks better on me rather than forcing myself to wear the skinny jeans which would look totally off on me.

like most, i also have a few blouses, shirts, pants... I like them and it hides the bulges pretty good though I also go for lighter shades from time to time. I'm not really trendy, my younger sister (who graduated from college today by the way! ) is more of the "fashionista" but she's really skinny so she can wear whatever she wants.

(Note: the following is from a Chicagoan - New Yorkers will understand)

Nah, they won't like you in NY, even if you are wearing the right color. Simple fact is they don't even like each other.

OK, I know that's not fair but the those of us from the "Second City" are raised to have certain opinions about NYC. NYC, on the other hand, just generally ignores us as relative hayseeds (St. Louis is even farther down the list). NYC and Chicago generally have the same thought about CA: WTF are they thinking?????

I used to live nearby - great climate (72 and sunny almost every day) and 1 1/2 seasons (the half is the rainy season, which doesn't mean too much rain, just more fog in the morning). You can mostly get by with one season wardrobe - and the maditory little black dress. Most people are in jeans/casual during the day - and pretty relaxed in the evenings as well - that's what you get in a CA beach community.

shes - Blake has you covered on the fashion front. I can't imagine that you'd have to buy many new clothes - certainly not anything for very cold/snowy weather.

Okay, guys, today's not been such a good day so apologies if this turns out to be a rant!:

*I* can cope with the separation from Alex - not ideal but manageable - but what's really not helping is the attitude of everyone around me.

The only sympathy I've had recently is from my mother, who, when canoodling my dad, said, 'I bet Rachel is wishing she was doing this with Alex!'

I try really hard not to ask for sympathy and I'm beginning to think that maybe I've done too good a job of hiding it. I don't get asked 'how are you doing' or 'what is Alex up to' or 'how are your plans coming along' any more; in fact I can't seem to mention Alex or my upcoming wedding at all with my friends. I'm sure that not having a set wedding date doesn't help, but not to even be asked about him is sometimes upsetting. And tonight one friend said to another who was talking of not being able to see her boyfriend at the weekend, 'oh, you can't go three weeks without seeing him, that's not fair!'

And someone else suggested to Alex that I was 'pretend' - as in just because we are several thousand miles apart, our relationship isn't real.

And now my housemate's boyfriend is using my PC (I'm on my laptop) ...um, I don't EVER remember saying he was permitted to use it. I mean, I'd say yes if asked and I'd let my housemate or other friend use it without permission, but I'm not really sure that invitation extends to their boyfriends. I'm in the room next door, I could've been asked.

It is ok to rant and vent, even the most positive and strongest amongst us gets so slow sometimes. Its a testament to our being human ... its close to 9 months since I last saw Ricky, sometimes its bearable, sometimes its too much that i just cry myself to sleep. I am just comforted by the fact that same time next year, we will be together.

It's either your family thinks you are ok and strong enough to handle the separation or they are afraid they'd touch a soft spot and would make you miss alex more if they ever mention him... your mom sounds like a very warm and sensitive person, i don't know how close you are but can you have a girl talk with her, tell her how your feeling about this separation? she might not be able to bring alex over there but she might give encouraging words to help ease your loneliness or she might give you a big warm hug that could speak a thousand words.

As for the friend's bf and that person who commented "pretend" to alex, i'm giving you this mallet, do as you pls to them:

by the way, how did alex respond to the comment?

Thanks for the mallet!

My mother is wonderful. She is very easy to talk to and I do occasionally ring her up and chat to her and she is always very sympathetic! I wish I could've rung her tonight but I was busy all evening. She did give me plenty of hugs when I visited, though.

I am comforted by the same thought - it has only been three months since I last saw Alex but obviously I am not planning to see him again before I emigrate. I really am immensely comforted by these forums, too - your words mean so much to me and I am very grateful for them.

Alex just shrugged off the comment - said 'the guy is just being a dick for the sake of being a dick' and moved on from it. I know that it really does get under his skin, though.

I'm sorry you're going through this bit of a rough patch, I know what you're talking about with the "silence" I feel that if I don't bring Olga's name up then other people close to me will not talk or ask about her. I think dbears is right that to some extent they may be avoiding a sensitive spot, but also I think its an out of sight out of mind thing as well. I find it irritating that she's not the same center of conversation for everyone, as she is the focus of my thoughts. So........I'm working a new strategy. To get everyone over here to help with the wedding legwork.

It's impossible for Olga to do much but suggest things, but finding the church, getting the reception lined up, photographers, bouquets, staying within a budget, etc. that's all fallen on my shoulders. And to put it clearly, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed by the list of to do's. So... I've decided to farm it out to my sisters, parents and close friends. That way they will have an active involvement with and focus on Olga and will out of necessity talk to me about her and what she thinks. My hope is that by priming the pump this way, it will come to be more natural for them. I don't know if it'll work, but I'll let you know.

Heh heh another one here that is not quite with fashion....I am more for comfort all the way! I have about 6 or more pairs of vans sneakers I rotate and my "dress" shoes consist of a pair of black maryjane style danskos and a pair of brown maryjane kinda style dr martens haha....in the summer I am a flip flop girl! Then as far as rest of clothing goes I am jeans (bootcut please!) and a tshirt type of girl with lots of hoodies in the winter and some sweaters and misc shirts thrown in. I do love dresses though and will pop those on instead of shorts or capris anyday!

I do most my shopping at Target and Pacific Sunwear but am trying to do only thrift store and garage sales this summer so I can make better payments on debt!

Anyone nervous about gaining a stepchild or two? Or how about for those that will be making their SO a parent? I am in the latter category, Gareth has wanted to be a Daddy for a long time which is a blessing but not sure just how ready he will be to be my daughters StepDaddy as she can be a handful hahaha! I do warn him all the time though. We also hope to have our own soonnnnnn!!!


Oh as for UK stores I loved they included Next (although the stuff always looked better on the hangers!), FatFace, and of course Super Asda haha


Ughh and Rachel I am sorry someone made that comment to Alex! Gareth and I get the same feeling sometimes that people think we are making all of this up LOL! I mean really? I am sure people do tell stories but jeesh if you got pics and all too I mean come onnnnn!

I'll be gaining a 6 year old Ukrainian ball of fire. My biggest concern is communication. It's tough enough to reason with a 6 year old when you both speak the same language. My non-verbal communication skills have seem to have been lost in translation also - the old "stop or your in trouble" look has absolutely no effect at all.

I think that this is probably particularly true for my friends!

Actually I do have one friend who, while not inquiring about Alex very often, does talk about the wedding and what we could do for a hen night. I also had a long chat with my mother with regards to wedding arrangements and hope that she and Alex's mother can talk soon. I look forward to hearing about how it goes with your family and wedding plans!

sunnybear - I love Mary Janes! They are the only heeled shoes I can really comfortably wear - no way am I getting into stilettos! I also think it's a classic style of shoe that is suitable for many formal and casual situations. I'm so glad to have a pair.

I was impressed with some of Target's clothing lines. I may have to shop there.

No stepchildren for either of us but I hope that you and everyone else with children have a smooth transition into family life. I do look forward to having my own children in the future.

As for the computer - I have passworded it now. I didn't want to be too passive-aggressive but I saw the browser history and, ahem, looked like my computer had been used to browse unsavoury sites - no wonder he didn't want to use his girlfriend's laptop. So a confrontation might only embarrass him. I like the guy but to sit in my chair and use my computer to fulfil his desires -

LMAO over here Rachel OMG! Yeah sooo not appropriate usage of YOUR computer hahaha.. fun fun heh heh. I think the password protection was a great strategy

Ok guys it is 9 pm here and well seeing how I wake around 5:30 each morning it is time for me to start settling in for the night! It is raining out which makes perfect sleep time for me nighty night all and here's hoping CSC shows us some dang approvals tomorrow!

Oh and anyone else get irritated when people "ahead" of you get added to Igors list and you get knocked down a notch or two? Hahaha...I was at like 147 and now back to 149 gosh darn it all haha! I guess the more people added the better though as really gives us better picture....
Nighty night!

@Rachel: dbears is probably right about the fact that your friends don't know how to talk about Alex because they're afraid you'd be sad. Maybe it's also because they don't know him much. One of my friends who has never met him told me once that it's almost as if he doesn't exist for her. I could have invented everything, she doesn't know him so how could she actually ask anything specific about him? My mother has started asking me how he was doing only since she met him last November. And now that we're getting married she's a little more involved (she even sent him a birthday card this week!)

@Blake: when you start being overwhelmed, write down everything. Write down a list of everything you have to do (find church, find flowers, send invitations, etc.) and then you decide which of these items should be done first, and you break it up in a more detailed list. For example, "find church" becomes: check St Patrick church, ask friend X what he thinks, compare prices, etc.
And everytime you do one item, cross it out. ("cross out"... is it how you say it?)

So, about step children, yes, like you know already i get 3! They are lovely, they love me and i love them.
Richard get 2 step childrens, Gally who is 5 and who is already calling Richard "daddy" and a big one Natacha who is almost 20. She will stay in Europe as she as already her own life.

And we're already thinking about having a baby in the future, no too soon but not too far, cause i start being old


@Cecile

I was thinking, about a meeting. In which area you work in Paris? Maybe we can have a lunch together someday if we're not too far.

yes that's a good idea, though I'm very busy this week and I'm not in Paris this weekend. I'm going to send you a message.

Sage advice Cecile - I was on a website yesterday specifically geared for organizing the whole process - I got a little stressed because it says I'm already well behind the normal (optimum) process curve. It has a complete list and budget worksheets, timelines, things to remember (gotta budget for the wedding day hairdoo ya know) and just about everything one could imagine. Oooh la la - gotta get busy. I know I will feel much better when things start getting checked off on my list.

"Cross it out", or "check it off," or "mark it done" are all good.

I am so glad that some from our group might get together - wish I could be there too, Springtime in Paris ya know.

Some of the things people have to think about for weddings is insane! Makes me very glad I'm going with a simple ceremony as I can scratch so many things - hairdresser, make-up artist, florist, best man, bridesmaids, cake-maker, DJ, caterers, photographer - right off my list. Sorry, that doesn't help you, Blake! You have my deepest sympathies, though!

Tomorrow is a magical 90 days since we filed! Well, maybe not so magical, but it's when I start growing a little more hopeful

Hairdresser... that reminds me when I went to a wedding gown stores a few months ago. the woman there asked me when the wedding was, I told her that I didn't know the exact date, so then I had to explain her the whole story (I'm marrying an American guy, I'm going to live there, we can't plan anything because of immigration documents, blahblahblah) and at one point she looked at me, stunned, and said: "then how are you going to do for you hair? you won't have time to do several tests with a hairdresser !"
In her mouth that sounded like it was the most important thing ever!

90 days since filing is when you start checking the USCIS website a little more often (like 3 times a week instead of 1 or 2)

hmm can't wait for it to happen that only check 3 times a week.. I am checking it at least once a day atm

How is the CSC progressing? Is an approval in sight yet?

Lol well I guess when you reach the 90 days (if you haven't already), that will be at least three times a day for you I check USCIS 3 times a day, but I check Igor's list at least 5 times a day... I'm not sure that's better!




No January approvals so far. there has only been 7 approvals from December filers anyway. We're still patiently (well... most of the time ) waiting. Thanks for asking

lol, nah.. I'm "only" at 76 days atm, we filed at the end of January.. hmmm you're possibly right, at the moment I am doing it like this: When I wake up I check USCIS, Igor's list & vj... then throughout the day normally only vj at random times and when I go to bed, it's USCIS and Igor's list again.. So far I have only seen Igor's list updating at those times so hopefully I can stop myself from checking more often (allthough I wont say it might not happen like you do atm haha).

lol i think i'm insane beside you all. As I work... "online". I'm all the time online and so i refresh every hours the igors list page... i know its stupid

@cecile : The women at the wedding store really told you that? wow. Ok i will try to have a professionnal make-up and going to the hair dresser the Day. But, i was never thinking about doing tries before. I know what i like, what i don't like, what it will look nice or me or not. So i think all will be ok.

And by the way. First thing i will say to the hair dresser is... ok if I'm not happy at the end, I'll kill you.. so... do a great job.

Hehe I'm almost a December filer! At one point Bryan told me I was allowed to check Igor's list only once a week. I told him I couldn't do that, but that I would try to check only once a day. And.... I did check once a day for 2 weeks. and now it's back at 5 times a day.



Yeah and I doubt anybody on VisaJourney actually spend two months thinking of what they're going to do with their hair for the wedding! I mean... we have more important things to stress about!

I know, lol... it's too hard not to look

A great way to save money on the make-up, now get this, go to a real good cosmetics store preperably a department store like Macy's or Nordstroms the morning of the wedding and have them do your make-up for you. It'll be free (because the goal is to get you as a customer) and hopefully will be to your liking. Fun facts from the "wedding planner"

That's a good tip - although I'd end up walking out with a bag full of expensive make-up because otherwise I'll feel too guilty.

Good morning, folks! It's 90 days for me now!

I'm feeling so much better. I really wanted to speak to a friend yesterday to try and sort things out and fortunately I was invited round for dinner before I even had a chance to ring her to see if she was free. When I got there my housemate was there too and we had a very good evening; it transpired that the evening before people had been tired and feeling under the weather and that was why I was receiving the miserable vibes. My housemate also asked about the passworded computer - she'd tried to log on as her own computer is broken, which I didn't know - and I explained why I had put the password on and she was very apologetic and understanding.

Congrats on your 90 days.. you'll be getting that NOA2 real soon I bet

It'd be nice if they would go in a chronological order; in which case Cecile and Bryan really ought to be among the first!

I have to admit that is stresses me out to know that some of us might be forgotten or lost by USCIS (like estadia or L&P who have been waiting for around 200 days) That's my biggest fear actually.
Yes it would be so much better if they processed the case in chronological order.

Would be fun if they do it in backwards order per month... that would mean I was among the first but ok, wouldn't be fair so oh well, let's not do that then after all.




I agree on that, this is one of my biggest fears as well... I haven't seen a 'touch' since 1 feb so it really makes me wonder.. doesn't have to mean anything but yah, it is a bit scary. As long as the application get through the first part and gets send to the consulate, then my mind will be much more at ease.

I guess january filers are little bit rushing and making yourself depresed because if you check who are getting approved these days is last munites november and early december filers so just hang in there and expect to get yours middle of may or end of may ...I am also checking mine at least 5 to 10 times everyday but nothing so far I am a december filers so just calm down and be positive ..

goodluck to everyone has been waiting for this CSC

Boy would that be great Nah, I say they do it chronologically - fair being fair and all that.

Iam not a January filers but i got my NOA1 December 10, 2007 and its April 2008 now and still havent got my NOA2......VSC is alot faster than CSC, i wish i will have my NOA2 soon.... some of my friends who filed their paper in VSC same month as me have been approved February and they will have their interview very soon.....

any updates with January filer? anyone got their NOA2 yet?

Nope, nada, zippo, zilch, zero, none. They're still cleaning up October filers, knee deep in November, and scratching the surface of December. January folk might get a scratch or two at the end of the month. Unfortunately, things appear to have slowed dramatically over at the CSC.

Yes and that's depressing, isn't it?

UGHHHH so very depressing Come on CSC maybe if we all do a CSC dance (like a rain dance) they will get their butts moving? haha

.. maybe i should borrow this line MissYoko... Oppss, i guess it won't really work for me... i forgot my hairdresser would be Ricky's 21 year old daughter, that's her specialty and she's really good. It has been decided almost a year now that she will do my hair so i guess i just have to worry about the make up then.


... im curious about that wedding planner you have... could you share the link pls? maybe they still have tons of budget planning ideas.

Blake, here's another free downloadable wedding planner. You can download it and put it on a folder and just take out the per month basis and it also have questions to ask for the coordinator, photographer, caterer etc. http://www.pashweddings.com/library/free-wedding-planner.php

Both centers have slowed down.. Maybe they are busy filing taxes or maybe they are all out on a field trip or out there campaigning for the next president.

Sorry, can't link it, but I've become (through necessity not choice) my own wedding planner. Of course I always check with a higher authority (that being Olga) for agreement. If I find more ways to shave excess costs, I'll let you know.

And now that I got my NOA2 last week it seems there is another dead zone before CSC mails it off to NVC some people have been waiting 3 weeks. It is truely maddening.

hey Sylvia /Joseph! u said u got your NOA2???? when did you file ur petition? r u a K1 applicant as well as the CSC?

hope things are moving for us, January filers...id rather accept it slow but still moving..than not processing at all for the January filers