Looks like everyone's taking their weekend early!

Ah...looking forward to another three days' break from the computer.

Not feeling at all happy recently; just hormones, I feel this way at least once a month. I'm hyper-sensitive to comments made and start to despair about the whole process.

Rachel, I'm never very far away. I hope you have a wonderfuly refreshing weekend and can get away from all this for a bit. Don't worry about missing anything, I don't imagine the situation at USCIS will change much while your're gone.

Thank you again, Blake! You really are wonderful.

Feeling so much better today.

NO early weekend for me here. Had to work yesterday and I am doing volunteer work today for 3 hours (but get a hefty store discount for doing the volunteering!).
Gareth and I got into it last night as again I jumped the gun and got hopes up then realized I was reading things all wrong
I had thought on the timeline here that "adjuicated" meant the wholeeeee process was done K1 approved.....well figured out that nope it meant just the NOA2 bit.... oooooffffff! Man oh man I sure as heck hope mine is approved before June! We want that September wedding and not to mention to be together again!!!! I am so hoping he can get here in July/August.....SIGH

It took me a little while to figure out the whole "adjudication" thing - I finally had to ask to get the final word. But then I realized that a goodly number of people were confused in the beginning just like you (and me). For all of us I'm hoping that this process picks up some steam again, while it's fun to look at lists that move and watch dates that change it is not very much fun to see only one approval last week. I think the hardest thing to learn here is how to manage expectations so that emotions don't get the better of you. I was looking at a thread the other day and over the course of a few pages it seemed everyone had pretty well convinced themselves that approvals were coming in days.....if not hours..... When in all actuality this is not the case.

Like you I want my SO to be here as soon as possible. If July - fantastic, if August - ok that's my expectation, if September - not pleased, if October - downright pissed. I am in the process for the long haul (unlike those who have been approved in 45 days or so) so patience is the absolute key - not too excessively excited nor to excessively depressed - Otherwise I might just burn out and that wouldn't be good for anyone. Realistically it will take at least two months from the adjudication date, possibly more depending on the country the interview takes place in.

Thanks for the post. Yeah it is just such a bitter pill to swallow somedays isn't it? I also am in it for the long haul and knew it was gonna take a long time...it is just so hard on the days when you have been so opimistic then BAM see the light that there is still LOTS of waiting and agonizing ahead.

I guess the best outlook to have is "Well we will be together someday!" haha....let's just all hope and pray sooner comes faster than later for us all.

I kinda think that either I am a pessimist or you're pretty optimistic... I kinda still think I am looking at a september/october POE...

but, like ppl say a lot over here... let's just hope it all speeds up, rather sooner than later ^^

Rachel, i'm sorry you're in hormone hell. It's tough stuff. I always just try to remember that 'this too shall pass'. I hope it does for you soon!

Blake, you're cute. Your expectations seem reasonable. In the same respect, I know nothing changes by having a bad attitude so I guess that's where you all stand and I admire that. I've seen many interviews within a month of NOA2, or just thereafter. So, at least there's hope!

Steph, I do hope it's sooner for you as well!

JeroenandMichelle... I do think it will be sooner than that for you too!

I do wish CSC would take some cues from Vermont. It's unfair and nothing frustrates me more. I hope you all have written your representatives if only to note the disparity between the service centers. You'd think they would know..but they really dont. It needs a voice and who best to do it than all of you?

Well i've been waiting around here for 7 months just to be able to file and this after having lived together for 2 years! I know it may not help now but I can tell you that the time does go fast. Keep your heads up over here! Soon this part will all be a distant memory ...and a great reminder of why you should never take each other for granted! I'm over here routing for you!

Well maybe it's better to be a pessimist, that way if it goes faster than you think, you're not disappointed!

I'm hoping for a August/september POE. But in my mind I really hope that's going to be earlier!
At the same time, I can't stop thinking "What if we're one of the leftovers? one of the files that takes a 8 months instead of 4 at CSC?" and that's really getting on my nerves sometimes.




Oh yeah that happens to me too. Luckily it's only for a few days. you'll feel better soon Rachel!

A little optimism is fine, just not too much - the party is great but the hangover sucks. Then again, while it is true that pessimists are never disappointed, who want's to be like that.

My momma taught me "moderation in all things." Still, I think that we're in the August/September time frame vs September/October.....

I'm not always a pessimist tho... but with things like this I just think of the worst and hope for the best... Even tho I still think a sept/oct timeframe will probably be the one, I am already telling my SO to get the stuff ready which she has to send to me after we get the NOA2 lol

Man oh man let's hope CSC starts getting their act together starting this coming week!!! I hope to see 5 or more approvals this week come onnnnn CSC that is do-able!!!!

What does everyone have planned this Sunday? I am heading out to my friends first baby shower. Then when I get home it is laundry and cleaning time! Fun fun aye?

Cleaning and laundey already done here. Now I wonder what I'm going to do.

Ha you can come here and do mine of course!

Ahah if I come back to the States that won't be to do your cleaning And I'm lazy! I only do mine because I have to. There was pieces of hair everywhere on the floor.... :S

The essence of optimism is that it takes no account of the present, but it is a source of inspiration, of vitality and hope where others have resigned; it enables a man to hold his head high, to claim the future for himself and not to abandon it to his enemy. -Dietrich Bonhoeffer


Let's agree to disagree on this one becoz I can never agree to "A little optimism is fine, just not too much".

Let me tell you of a woman who was born from a dirt poor family back in the 50's. Let's call her Esperanza. There were 12 kids in the family and she was the 4th child. Their father is the sole provider and what he earned was not enough to support the kids, much more to send the kids to school. So at 7, the woman was forced to work to be able to buy papers and pencils so she could have something to use at school. She would get some vegetables in the garden and sell it, sometimes she would offer to wash clothes for others. She would work and then she would walk more than a mile all the way to school and then walk another mile going back home and then she would try to work again.

She finished grade school doing menial labor. But she was forced to drop out in her second year in high school becoz no matter how she works she still could not afford the increasing financial needs of schooling. At 14, Esperanza had worked odd jobs like being a housemaid, dishwasher in a restaurant, and banana peeler at a nearby banana plantation. Her condition was dire but in her heart she continued to believe that she will be able to finish schooling and would get a better life.

But then she got married at 19 and had a baby at 20, the hope of going to back to school was slipping further away. Husband was a poor guy himself so the hope of a better life seemed like a distant dream, they can't even afford to buy a can of milk for their baby and had to fed their baby the water from rice porridge that time. But she eventually finished highschool at age 22 (high school here graduates at 16) and eventually finished college at 26 while pregnant with her 3rd child. She learned the ropes of the business world and have made her way from being dirt poor to owning several profitable business. She was able to send her kids to school without the kids needing to work. She is not a housemaid anymore but has hired househelpers at her disposal.

If Esperanza had only "little optimism" she will still be like her 10 other siblings who never finished college or even high school or she would have ended like her one sister who is already dead. Esperanza is my mother, and Esperanza means HOPE. And I am the baby who didn't have the priviledge of drinking milk as a baby.

My father also struggled to finish his education, he worked as janitor by day and security guard by night while studying in between and he still managed to become one of the most outstanding graduates in his time. Years after, he was told that he only have maximum 5 years left to live by so called specialist doctors. My father had lost one leg due to bone cancer, his diabetes is worsening but he still lives up to now, 16 years after he was condemned to die by some doctors. And he drives a car even if he only has one leg. .. The pessimist said that it was impossible for my parents to ever rise above their status that time. I am sure glad that they (especially my mother) have a high dose of optimism, not a moderate dose but a high dose of it that have helped them rise above what others have said was impossible.

I don't know what OPTIMISM means to you or to others but for me it is hoping and believing that things will eventually turn out for the best.

If one will think that he/she will get the noa2 in one weeks time or just a few hours after filing that for me is daydreaming or fantasizing BUT if one will unceasingly believe and hope that it will eventually come in God's perfect time, that is optimism.This waiting is a struggle and a pain but "This too shall pass!"

I started this journey prepared to get the NOA2 by June and was even prepared to have all of this finished in a years time (meaning finishing the whole visa process january 2009) but then a January VSC approval popped up, then another and another. I forgot that i was supposedly OK to wait till June, I wanted the NOA2 asap like the others. the influx of approvals made me excited that i might be next, that my noa2 is coming.. then the approval skipped me to make way for february VSC filers. I cried when i saw the first february approval and then there was also a time when my tears would just flow everytime I post the congratulatory dance and jump for january filers who got the approval next. but what made me continue was the fact that although i was feeling sorry for myself, I was still genuinely happy for those who got approved and It also gives me hope that the list is moving so they will eventually get to my papers and somehow it was reasuring. Of course, I suffered a litte depression (i'm human) but i then resigned and lifted everything to God. I started thanking Him for my approval even before it came.

When you guys starts to see one january csc filer get the noa2 this month or next month and then another noa2 and another and then it suddenly skips any of you and you see a february csc filer getting approved, it will be harder to say it is still ok to wait for noa on june or july or august, you will want it for yourself ASAP and that's when depressions gets tougher to ward off and you will surely need a higher dose of optimism when that time comes. You will need to believe and hope that it might not be your day yet but there is always tomorrow and then tomorrow's tomorrow and eventually, it will surely come.

OPTIMISM is believing that eventhough the night is very dark, it will eventually give way to the light of dawnbreak. But when morning comes and you still could not see the sun becoz rain keeps pouring, just believe and hope that when the rain stops, you will not only see the sun but also see a beautiful rainbow.

I believe in moderation of things (especially food) but when it comes to hope, faith and optimism and love: a little dose will be stomped off easily, a moderate dose will not last long but a full armor of it will see you to the final end, a little tired but never totally battered.

I wish you all a blessed Sunday and approvals soonest!

This is a beautiful story dbears, thank you for sharing it

As for optimism, I think it can be good or bad. Yes, I am optimist when I think that we'll eventually get the visa and be together, and that it will probably be by the end of the year. A "bad optimism" would be to think that I'm going to get NOA2 in the next two weeks. Because if it doesn't, then i'll get depressed. It's just like you said. You were alright while thinking it would take a year. Then you saw the January approvals and you changed your expectations and when the February approvals began, then you felt sad. And that's probably going to happen exactly the same for us.

And when I said that sometimes, it's better being pessimistic than optimistic, it's all relative. I would not let anybody think that it's going to go bad and that we won't be approved! no way! but maybe it's better to think we'll all get our NOA2 in May / June, instead of thinking we'll all get it next week.

We all need optimism to survive this long and painful process anyway!!


Once again, dbears, thanks for your wonderful posts. They always make me (and probably everyone else too) better

thank you also cecile.

yes agree, believing that you will get noa2 next week is just wishful thinking. I still feel it is coming soon. when that soon will be, only God knows but it will come when the time is perfectly right.

I just hope and pray that all of you will be more emotionally stronger after the initial euphoria of the 1st january csc approval passes. it is when the real waiting begins and it will be the time when you will need more activities and diversions.... i hope nobody among you will experience how it feels to see people who filed after you start getting noa2 while you will still be waiting. i hope CSC will really process all your petitions in order... and i hope vsc will also finish the 17 (only 7 active) remaining waiting list january member. it is probably getting so tough for them now:(

i will be holding all of you in my thoughts and prayers always and i will try to give back to all of you the cheers and encouragements that you have showered to all the january vsc filers. no matter who gets it first or who gets it last, as long as nobody allows this frustrating process to put a strain on our relationships with our SO, same time next year we will all be with our SO already and will look back at the agony of waiting with a smile.

Kinda makes optimism sound like a drug - one is optimistic about an approval, but when disappointments arise as Feb filers get approved, so even more optimisim is called for. When an ostrich sticks his head in the sand I'm sure he's quite optimistic that the lion can't see him anymore. Would we also say the fire and passion of a first love is the same as a lasting love (it's given a "first" because there's always a second or a third) but tell that to the person in the midst of those kinds of emotions.

While hope is a great comforter, in and of itself it does not go far, and it is not what your father showed - it was perserverence in the face of adversity - a never give up attitude that was not passive, but active. That's a very heroic story about your father. The world is full of people who spend their days hoping for things - love, money, health. But they wait for someone or something else to affect their own happiness, which rarely happens. The great thing about your father's story is not that he was hopeful, but that he fought. If you read about the Stockdale Paradox you'll see what I'm talking about. Admiral Stockdale was a POW during the Vietnam War for many years. The paradox was that the more people relied on hope, and the greater their optimistic certainty - the less likely they were to survive.

I can hope for a quick approval, but that doesn't change the fact that the approval rests in someone elses hands. It will happen when God intends it to be so, not when I hope for it to occur. Hoping for a happy and loving marriage will not create one, it takes dedication, communication and work. The real opposite of optimism is not pessimism - rather it is indifference. The problem with the "its sunny all the time" style optimism is that, in the real world, it isn't sunny all the time - and dealing with adversity requires positive action and engagement rather than passively hoping for something. I don't see a lot of pessimism here, and if someone thinks that approval will take 90 days vs. 60 days, who's to say what's the correct answer. Or who can say what is optimistic, pessimistic, or even realistic. You can have all the armor you want, but if you are unable to perservere though the days when things are not easy, or when challenged, it'll do you little good.

That is the point in moderation - be optimistic, but not so overly optimistic that you become unrealistic and ultimately disappointed. The ostrich would be better served reducing the optimism a little, and using his feet more.

I guess I've finally found my home in this forum. Hello fellow january CSC Filers. I'm in the same boat. NOA1 on Jan. 9th...and still waiting. Anyway just wanted to say hi and thanks to all you other posters. This forum really helps me cope with this process.

how can you truly persevere without hope in your heart? what will motivate you then? even saying you'd get it by august or september is still hoping you would get it before then.

you are probably right about my father not really hoping but struggling, he is ok now but he is a bitter man. one of the most negative man i have ever encountered... my mother is different, she always hopes for the best and even in the worst condition she never stopped hoping. they've separated decades ago and both suffered financially from that separation. my mother was the one who bounced back first with her endless optimism.. my father followed right after, as you have said he persevered with pessimism in his heart and his manner of dealing with us. both of them are now ok but my mother is more successful thereby making my father more bitter. there you go, 2 people who persevered: one holding on to hope and found joy in her struggles, while the other, hold on to negativities and found bitterness in his struggles. one thing i have always heard from my father: "It's useless and that can't be"... while my mother would always encourage me and say: "It is possible and it can be."

i'm not saying optimism is hoping it will come next week or the next, it is unceasingly hoping and knowing and believing that sooner or later it WILL EVENTUALLY COME. and all things shall pass.

of course we all started prepared for the long haul but that feeling changes when you see the first approval within your time frame and within your service center, much more when you see people after you getting approved. when it happens and your waiting list starts to dwindle and you still see yourself in that waiting list.... well, you would have to go through that to be able to fully understand it. I have read people here talk about it but i never fully understood it until i went through it.

you've presented your views, i've presented mine. I could present people who survived great trials and tribulation becoz they never let go of hope and optimism and maybe you could counter it with people who survived becoz they let go of hope, but i guess enough has been said. I respect your views, I hope you will also respect mine because we're just two people shaped up by different circumstances, different environments and influenced by different people in our lives. And as i said, let's just agree to disagree on the subject. I may not agree with you on this subject but overall I do have GREAT respect for you dear Blake

i wish you all the best of luck and approval soonest.

Welcome!

Perhaps it's semantics - while I may think "hope" is a relatively useless thing, "faith" is not. What we need to do here is perservere through the long wait - and I think you agreed. Your father may have been very bitter and your mother may have been very joyful in her struggles, but the point is they both made it. They both perservered. Millions of people around the world hope every day with little to show for it - just look at the lottery ticket sales. I don't hope the sun will rise tomorrow, I know it will - my job is to make sure I'm there to greet it. You may have read the old fable about Pandora's box. Out of the box (which she was not supposed to open) came many evils in the world: famine, spite, jealousy, and the like. The only thing left in the box after Pandora recognized the error of its opening was "hope." The modern interpretation of this is that hope can counter all the ills of the world that Pandora unleashed. The ancient Greeks, however, had a different view on the fable. "Hope" was considered the greatest of the evils because "hope" turned people away fron taking control of their lives.

You are dear to me also , and know that I enjoy these types of philosophical discussions. I cannot have such discussions with people who I do not also have the greatest respect for. What I want is for everyone here to make it through this process intact, without too much stress being put on relationships because of disappointment, frustration, and unrealistic expectations. This process is very stressful on relationships and keeping an even keel is an important part of reducing the stress levels all around. You're wonderful and supportive and I appreciate you very much. We'll all have to get together someday when this is done - we'll have a great time!

Welcome, welcome, welcome.

Glad you could make it

hi there!

I'm back
Back in Paris, back at work too (omg, i'm still in jet lag, i gonna to sleep in front of my screen all the day).

The 2 weeks with my love was wonderful, and right now i just feel highly sad...
I saw that csc almost stopped to work last week and it makes me feel worse.

Hugs and kisses to you all

Yoko

Hi my fellows of Jan. filers,


We are January filer too,
Don't lose hope, here's some encouragement:

Jan 15 sent our 129-f/ K3
Jan 17 CSC received 129-f
Feb 19 NOA1 hard copy arrived in mail
Mar 18 Approved
Mar 24 NOA2 hard copy arrived in mail
May 12 Interview

Good luck to all of us..

Welcome here!




I did know the story but not its meaning. Maybe the ancient Greeks were right. But we can't deny that sometimes a little hope is good too.



Welcome back Yoko. Hang in there! in a few months, there won't be sadness anymore!

its nice to hear, but i think that you're got your NOA2 faster cause your in a K3.
At this time there is no 2008 K1 approved by CSC.

Thank You Cecile. I know i'm already lucky being able visit Richard. But you know... its hard. I add to left my love, our home. Now here in Paris i feel not at my place.

Kisses

Yoko

Yes I understand. Try to focus your mind on something else (I know it's a lot easier to say than to do though). Go shopping with your daughter after her day at school, try to see some friends, maybe you can start writing or something... And you have to stay strong and not show your daughter that you're sad. Otherwise she's going to be sad too.
I remember when Bryan left at the end of November, I felt really sad, but after a few days it was better. I focused on something else. It was still related to our relationship (I tried to find a job in the USA, I probably sent more than 150 resumes in less than a week) but it helped me feel better.

And Paris is only a city where you have to stay temporarily, before returning home (in Chicago). Don't forget, it's only Temporary

Welcome



welcome back ^^

Another day........haha.....trying to stay positive and remind myself many have been at this waiting game A LOT longer than I.....so hard when you just want to wake up in the arms of the person you love...
Have a great Monday all!

Oh some good news my daughters flower girl dress arrived so I get to pick that up today

Welcome Back MissYoko - I'm glad that Chicago was able to give you one nice weekend before you had to leave. This last weekend was wonderful and I was at least able to accomplish some outdoor jobs in the garden beds. It's nice to come out of hibernation. So what fun things did you two do while you were here?

I think CSC didn't want you to miss any of the fun so they stopped working until you got home. So now it's time to get back to it - ya hear me CSC?

Where do I find the January filers string? I was originally a September filer but due to a CSC mistake had to refile in January so I feel like this I-129F petition process is never going to end!
Thanks,
Gerald

Well, this is one - generally geared towards CSC filers (which you are) and there is also a January Filers thread that encompasses both CSC and VSC filers. Regardless of which service center people filed with - they are all welcoming and very nice. So welcome!

I'm sorry about the error at CSC, that doesn't make me feel good. What was the nature of the error? More than the rest of us, I understand your feeling that this process is never going to end, geez September? That stinks. So Gerald, where in the Ukraine does Vinera hail from. My SO is from Zapropzhje (yeah say that with a mouthful of crackers). How are you two working through this problem at the CSC?

Hey Blake

We did a lot of nice stuffs. Like we was going to watch the cubs game . I still have the image of my daughter (5 years old), stand up, hands up, screaming in a leitmotiv : LETS GO CUBS!!!! or BREWERS STINKS!!! lol

http://www.printroom.com/ViewGallery.asp?e...6&curpage=1

Photo : DSC_003

We was going to some waterpark, we spent a complete afternoon doing lazerquest (I LOVE IT). We spend an evening at the medieval show : Medieval Times, it was funny, the kids liked it, my daugther received the "Queen of love and beauty" scarf from the knight, she was so happy! And so, a lot of fun times at home, painting birdhouses. I bought heelys for the girls. I spent a lot of times with the girls, teaching them about beauty . I teached them about how to take care about their hair, we bought new hair brushes etc.

SO... Great times!!!!

That is so great - I loved the pictures. Everyone (including me who is a sox fan) gets their picture taken in front of the sign at wrigley field. I know that when Olga and her son arrive we will also be going to Medieval Times as well. Just wait until the summer - there is so much more to do. It is so wonderful knowing that you had a good time and were stomping around the same part of the world as me. Chicagoans complain a bit, but they are also very proud of their city and would not choose to live anywhere else. You and your husband to be will be very happy, I just know it. Perhaps when this is all over we can all meet for a glass of wine on top of the John Hancock center - beautiful views from up there. Anyway, glad to have you back on line.

Medieval Times is a great place for kids for sure, for adults too. Ok food its not great, but was really nice. We went also for an afternoon to the zoo. And yes,We will be very happy to share a good glass of wine with you and Olga when we will have all our visa! My first friends in Chicago . I love Chicago, and even you said that Chicagoans complained a bit, its everywhere like that. Like Parisians complains all the time .

I'll make the reservations.... sooner rather than later I trust.

Thank you!

That's the line I take, too - hormones are odd; I know why I am feeling a certain way and I know there's no particular reason I should feel that way, but I still can't seem to help myself from feeling that way!

MissYoko - welcome back! I am glad you had a good time. It's always really, really sad having to part again, though. Thank goodness this wait is the last for all of us!

I had a good time in Stratford-Upon-Avon with my parents + twins + dogs. On Sunday morning my mother woke us up saying, 'it's snowed!' Snow in April is very, very rare indeed but she wasn't lying. It was beautiful. Three inches of soft, powdery snow covering everything; a real winter wonderland. We drove through the countryside looking for a place to walk the dogs and it was so serene.

Of course, this being England it was all gone by 11 am.

The dogs loved the River Avon. The water level was nice and high but there was no strong current, so we threw sticks in for them and they would swim and fetch them. Lara is a real pro; she keeps her nose inline with the water and doesn't move too much so she appears to glide effortlessly through the water. Kirtley, on the other hand, is a real dog paddler. He keeps his nose up high and splashes with his front paws and never gets anywhere. He would wait near the bank until Lara had fetched the stick and then he would grab it out of her mouth and return it to us.

Yesterday we again threw in sticks for them and they swam a little and then we decided that we'd walk on a bit further. The poor dogs were desperate to get back into the water (heaven knows why, it was freezing). They kept peering over the sides of the bridges and whining. They went ballistic when my dad decided to play pooh-sticks; had to watch as we dropped sticks into the water and they couldn't get to them. Eventually they found a way through the nettles and over a six-foot-high fence down to the river bank, and we had a real problem getting them to get back up to us!

Aww Rachel my Gareth woke so happy yesterday too seeing snow on his skylight in his bedroom and then was so sad when it was all gone haha. I told him he will get his fix of snow soon enough here in Michigan since we STILL have some patches of snow around here! We got dumped on this winter for sure!

I loved Stratford Upon Avon when I was there. Sadly only got to go on one trip there but it was gorgeous. Bath is an all time fave of mine too and then we went to Bristol prob every weekend almost for shopping or concerts haha!

Hiya MissYoko! Welcome back and glad you had such a nice time! I am nearby Chicago (about 4 hour drive) so hey maybe Gareth and I will be able to meet you all for some wine too haha! I also have a 5 year old daughter who is a little monster most days haha. Love her to bits but yeah she has been having a trying time without having a dad or dad figure around!

It was my first visit to Stratford and, yes, it is really lovely! As a dutiful tourist I of course visited Shakespeare's birth place - interesting to see that the first two people to sign the first guestbook the house kept were from the US (Boston and Philadelphia, if anyone's curious). It's interesting to realise that people were touring far-off countries long before aeroplanes and railways made it easy to do so.

I know that snow can be a real nuisance and that it's probably a good thing that it didn't last long - icy slush can be dangerous! - but it was so pretty it was a shame that it couldn't even last just the one day.

MissYoko - I am glad that you had fun with the girls teaching them about how to make themselves beautiful! That's definitely one thing I missed out on with my own mother - she's not very feminine and has no clue about hair styling, make-up or fashion, and I was always very envious of girls who grew up knowing how to make the most of their features and apply the right shade of eyeshadow/find flattering cuts of clothing/etc.

Hey! It would be very very nice! lol we have to organize a big party I love that idea. I will talk to Richard about having maybe a party in our garden
My daughter is a little monster too, but, she is so adorable too.

I never saw the girls mother, but as i know she is not like i am, i mean, as a Parisian i'm a bit a fashion victim, not so much, but yes, i love fashion, and for me a women have to be feminine, have to be perfumed, wear make up, high heels (when appropriate) etc etc. So yes i'm a kind of a feminine role model for them. And i love that!.
I was like you when i was young, 3 brothers, no sisters and my mother was too busy working. So it took me a very long time to become really a women Lol when i was young i spent more time climbing trees, playing with car toys than playing with barbie dolls.

Hehe - I think it's going to take me quite a long time, too.

I love seeing women in pretty, feminine clothes but I must admit I am not quite there yet myself! I've finally bought a pair of heels but I'm a little wobbly on my feet when wearing them. I love the skirt/court shoes combo for work, but since I walk to work and it's cold I nearly always wear trousers and flat shoes. I think well-applied make-up can really enhance one's features and I love how eyes look with a little eye-liner and mascara but I rarely make the effort to apply it myself. So I'm a bit of a hypocrite, really.

I'd love to have the money to go shopping and buy a few wardrobe classics - I'd like some v-neck sweaters that are proper cashmere and not acrylic, and I'd love a decent pair of boots and more A-line skirts, but every time I do go clothes shopping I end up buying clothes that are cheap and more suitable for work.

Rachel I know you'll be in California in the San Jose area - but mammoth is very close to there and they get Meters of snow each winter (see my attempt at using metric measurements?) Great skiing as well. But the snow there is different than snow in the Midwest - here slushy icy is the rule, and we're reasonably good at driving through it. Sunnybear - I know Michigan very well - and you folks get a lot more snow than we do here, this has been one heck of a winter for snow hasn't it. I think it would be wonderful to get as many of us together as we can. Kids of all ages and dispositions are invited as well Actually for those of us who are not only assimilating a new spouse but also assimilating new children it would be good for us to be able to share and support each other beyond the visa process.

Alex is a lucky man hehe

Being a man my views on fashion are not found in the pages of vogue magazine. Most of the men I know appreciate casual comfort rather than high priced cutting edge stuff. It is possible to dress quite stylishly without spending the big money, especially if you don't mind wearing last year's fashions (as if any guy would really know what was last year vs. this year). There are many ways to skin the cat, as they say. I worked in the apparel industry for 7 years, even had my own office overlooking Time Square in NY, and our mantra was - never pay retail prices for anything. With a little work and creativity you really don't have to.

I certainly don't follow fashion - I'll wear what suits me; sometimes it's in fashion and at other times it's not. It's actually rather frustrating when certain cuts aren't in style - for example, skinny-leg jeans overtaking boot-cut jeans in the market, or how it's impossible to find clothes in shades of dark red, purple and blue because lime green, orange and yellow is what it's currently all about. There's a huge difference between being fashionable and being stylish and unfortunately right now I feel that I'm currently neither.

I know the way to go is to hunt in the sales for past-season's clothing or search in charity shops, but unfortunately because I am an average size anything I would like is snatched up very, very quickly!

If I have the chance to I'd love to fly to Chicago to meet you all.

And I'm lucky, too! Alex doesn't have a clue about fashion or stylish clothing so ultimately I could wear a paper bag and he'd still think I looked good. I'd rather it was that way round than having a man who insisted his wife always wear a skirt or had a matching handbag and heels (yes; apparently some men do care about that sort of thing!)

How did you find it working in the industry, Blake? Was it as cutthroat a business as I imagine?

i never said that you have to spend a lot of money. I like to have some high quality pieces, i have some clothes that i have for some years and because of the quality and the style i can still wear. And most of the time i buy my clothes to stores like Mango, La City, Sinequanone etc... Its not expensive clothes. and when i say fashion, i mean i love nice looking clothes, i never gonna to wear something because its fashion right now. Like you will never see me in a slim jean, its fashion but it look uggly on me. So i'm a fashion victim in my own way