I don't really know how to put this topic in a clear concise format so I'm gonna just wing it here. Forgive me if it comes out all confusing. lol.

I was talking to my husband about a month ago about the book A Thousand Splendid Suns. (He hasn't read it...not even sure if it's translated into Arabic though I'd love to get a copy for him...that and The Kite Runner so if anyone knows where I can get it I'd appreciate it! )

Anyhoo I was telling him how irate I was that they were not allowing women, especially widows, to work and how the heck did they expect them to put food on the table, etc. etc. He agreed it was unfair BUT..............he went on to describe that he thinks it is also unfair, for example, where he is when a man with a family of four, for example, goes for a job and is up against a single woman who , for sake of example, lives with her parents and has little to no responsibility moneywise....in other words her money is her money.

I thought about that for a while and didn't have an answer for him. Here in the US the unemployment can't even be compared to that in Egypt so it's really a non-issue but when you're faced with poverty and huge unemployment coupled with the cultural expectations of a mena man having to provide for his family it does (and it pains me as a woman to say this) seem that there should be some sort of way to regulate who indeed gets the jobs that are open.


Of course then he went on to say how women now get their own special car in the subway, etc. etc. so he was on a roll. lol.

But does anyone have any thoughts on this subject or does it not make sense the way I presented it?

Bridget,

It does make sense as to how you put it. I know this is their culture and marrying a man from that culture I have to respect it. I don't always agree with it. I have a fiancee with an ex wife that doesn't work and is always wanting more and more money. I have issues with that knowing they are divorced and that he still has to care for by money almost as if they were still married because she has the kids and she doesn't work but then reality sets in and back to the culture and expectations over there. I was always under the understanding the man cares for the family and if the woman makes money it is hers. I see exactly what you are saying and I agree with what is aggravating in situations like this.

I am no help as far as the arabic versions of the books you were speaking of. I did go to the library this week to reserve Kite Runner since you highly suggested it.

Tasha

I'm not really sure where A Thousand Splendid Suns comes into all of this since Afghanistan and Egypt are more or less apples and oranges. Plus, the story was set mostly during Taliban rule. From what I've read things are changing for both men and women in Afghanistan.

I guess it sucks for the men who are struggling alone paying the bills but that happens in the US, too. I suppose it is more common in MENA though. I can really only speak for my husband's family here. All of my husband's sisters work and contribute to their households. The economy sucks big ones over there so seems like both sexes are pretty much screwed.

The book was how the discussion started about how women there under the Taliban rule were not able to work. Then the conversation shifted over to Egypt. The book has nothing to do with Egypt just how the convo re: working women came about.

Do I think it's unfair yea I guess, but remember the same cultural expectation existed in the US not so long ago. Where if a woman worked the money was more or less hers to use. Over time we have established this dual-employment households with more equality between the sexes. My opinion is if a woman goes in and is better qualified or just as qualified then absolutely she should be given the job. The preferance should not be given to a lesser qualified candidate because of economic situation. Women will never reach a status of equality if they are put down and not given jobs simple because the state of the cultural expectations. I think that in order to achieve a balance in equality, men and women must be on equal footing in employment. If I were an Egyptian woman, who had spent just as much time in school and experience as a male co-worker and went into an interview as equally or more qualified and was not given the job due to the fact that I wasn't married and had 6 kids or whatever I would be so ticked. I know that children are a blessing from God, but if you can't take care of them, to a point where you feel you are entitled to a job becasue you have a family to take care of then you should think about this sooner and invest in some BC. So to sum it up - there will never be equality in these countries if this attitude is maintained.

Did you know that The Kite Runner is a movie??? Maybe he can download it or buy it and watch it.
I saw it twice in December. It's awesome and it follows the book closely.
The author lives in my county and is a doctor.

i don't really have an opinion about this--i'm not a man trying to support a family, nor have i ever been put in the position where i was competing with such a man for a job that i didn't really need...

anyway, i just wanted to say that those two books are amaaaazing!! i also wanted to know if they translated them in arabic.. i doubt that a thousand splendid suns was translated--i think its too new...but it's possible that kite runner was...i'll take a look and ask around for you