Hey guys,


I will apologise for not being on here as often as I would like or should. When Russ and I went through the visa process this was my life line and helped me through to the end....


Now I am here in america "land of dreams" and my life feels like a nightmare. I have a job that thankfully I love, my boss is amazing and I am learning everyday, however I am on such a poor wage that we can bearly survive. My parents own a buisness in UK and I get paid less then the students that work there!

I work 12 hour days and come home half dead and ready to just go to bed, to start all over again the next day. We litrally would not survice if it wasnt for my amazing parents who, now have to send us money each month.

On top of all of this, I cant get health insurance. My employer doesnt have it, and to get it with Russ emplyer it would cost $1200 a month. I am 20 pounds over weight and so can not get health insurance individually on my own.

I feel like everythign is against us, thnkfully Russ and I are stronger then ever and bless his heart he is willing to give up a job he adores to go work in retail, so we can have health insurance. Eventually we want children, but I cant get insurance and so that not even a possibility right now.


I am so mad... this country is one of the most powerful in the world and here I am working my a*s off daily, and getting nothing for it.
I am in such a frustrated, hating ameirca mood right now... sorry to all the american lovers who will no doubt trash me, there always there to give crap when you need it least.


Just looking for advice... support in what seems like a hopeless time.

I fought so hard for my visa, and I know that so many people are going through it now and feeling so very alone with out there loved one, but I feel like giving it all up! I just want to go home!

Aside from all of the other things, this one stood out the most.
a) You can get health insurance through Anthem/Blue Cross Blue Shield for somewhere around $200-$300 month (that was the estimate for Mags and Jordan).

2) I have NEVER heard of someone not being able to get insurance because of being 20 pounds overweight. Wouldn't ya think that NO one in the US would have insurance if that were the case?

#) Otherwise.... it all depends on where you live in the US. Here in the "fly-over" state of Indiana, a small family can live quite well if both people are making $10/hour or more.

My dearest friend,

I for one, will not judge you (I did check my cabinet this morning and it said: Len, I don't need your help; signed: God). I understand your frustration and exhaustion. I do. I am also happy to hear that your relationship is going strong. Keep at it my dear friend; you are stronger than you think.
I don't give advice, just good vibes.

Peace, L.

We live in florida, and would move to UK in a heartbeat but Russ has his Kids here and we would never leave them.

I was told becuase im short and fat ( in not so many words) that I would not be allowed to get insurance... trust me I have looked EVERYWHERE for it. If you can tell me a insurance company that will insure a "overweight" person I will be forever in your debt!






Thank you, that made me smile


x

I've often wondered how I'm going to get Darren on my insurance plan when he finally gets over here...and if I didn't have a job that thankfully comes with health insurance benefits (public school teacher), I'd probably be in the same boat, since I have to lose another 50 pounds or so (already have lost 80)...

I live in FL too, so I completely understand about our abyssmal salaries and the lack of affordable housing (esp. recently). I wish I could help you out with the name of an insurance carrier...I'll check with my uncle (used to work for a large insurance carrier)....

I'll be sending you positive thoughts in the interim...

Is the "overweight thing" specific to Florida? I've never heard of anyone in Indiana being turned down for health insurance because they were overweight....

I've had insurance at various times, and according to the charts, I'm almost 100 pounds overweight.

Thank you sweetie, I am calming slowly hehehe

i cant believe they told you that! i showed the post to my fiance but the only insurance peeps he can think of are cobra health insurance or kasier but they r just off top of his head. wish i could help you! hope things work out for you.

I'm 59 and must be 30lbs overweight and insured myself no problems with Blue Cross/Blue Shield. I pay $367 a month including dental.

Which Insurers have you approached so far.

I guess you can live on $10 an hour, depends on the mutiplier.

But that is a lot less than the minimum wage in the UK and you have Health costs on top.

I would be looking for a new line of work.

Chris and I both just got insured together with Blue Cross Blue Shield. Around $434 a month which includes dental and maternity.
I am about 30 pounds over weight (but I lost 12 in the last 2 months *pats me on the back*) and they call Chris "over weight" too...even though he is 6ft8inches Tall for heavens sake...and we were insured No Problem.

There are options.

I am sorry you are out there having a hard time with work. It is tough. Chris made a better wage in England as well. But we make do. My suggestion is looking for another job. If this one isn't paying well there should be others out there. Winter (at least in NC) can be hard on people. Jobs open up more in the summer I think.
Being a waitress isn't for everyone I know but I just to make loads of money in fine dining.

What about going back to school? Perhaps that make the pathway a little easier for a better paying job?

You will be okay. I feel sure.

Maybe it's a Florida thing because I have been told by every insurance company that i am over weight.

I have tried Aetna and they sent me a letter, after that I have not applied fully just called and asked and they say becaus eof height weight ratio I would be denied.... maybe I should just try applying....

Havent got anything to add....just wanted to send warm thoughts and best wishes ...i am on the jobhunt here and understand how your feeling...chin up! and lots of good wishes

Hi,

My name is Sarah, and I couldn't help but read your posting, and it really touched my heart ..... and brought back many yukky memories of my own from when I used to live in the US many years ago.

Firstly, please don't worry about what negative stuff other people may say to you concerning your feelings about how hard America is ..... many of them (not all) will learn the brutal truth on their own when they get there ....first hand .... just like I did 14 years ago ..... just like my parents before me ..... just like you are now.
My parents infact used to work in England at one point, for some of the year, and benefit from the similar diabolical conversion rate to what we have now, when they returned .... it's the 80's all over again

When I lived there as an adult before, some places in the US didn't even accept an British university degree; it had to go through some conversion system which took ages in New York. In the meantime you would work a crappy job for a minimum wage (I think it's $5 an hour or there abouts now) so you just put basic food on the table.
However, I'm sure that's changed now.
And we Brits complain about our long working hours and low pay .... ha, most don't have a clue!!!! Working in the States will turn you into a proverbial machine ..... and if you return to England with the same work ethic .... you get to the top .... QUICKLY!!! I did!
They really work hard!

My negative memories of America back then were ..... you had to work your a*s off just to make ends meet ... I had many strange jobs while trying to prepare for my new state exams in a subject I was already highly trained and experienced in. And when I moved to another state, I had to do it all over again.

Then the medical insurance subject, which you have brought up ..... that was totally awful!!! ..... I actually brought a letter from my doctor in England, therefore I could get some form of coverage. I don't think that people are aware that real sickness in America, without proper coverage can put you on the streets. I mean HOMELESS!!!!
We may all knock the NHS, but at least you know you'll get treated without a bill for thousands of dollars.
And yes, the US insurance companies policies are really quite alien to us at times, but you will find a way.
At least MRSA isn't such a problem there.

I grew up in Florida as a kid for a while back in the 80's, where my Mum worked as a nurse .... she was horrified to see people who were dying from gun wounds ..... heart attacks ..... and ladies just about to give birth .... were turned away for not having insurance ..... they would have more than likely died. My Mum did the best she could to help.

However, there are free hospitals ..... but few and far between, I would certainly try to locate one as close to you as possible. People may knock Hilary Clinton, but I remember when she tried to change that particular part of the medical system all those years ago when her Husband was President. So there are some states or areas now that will treat you first and bill you later.

Sure, to a lot of people, they think that going to America means a fabulous way of life .... immediately .... and yes, if you're coming from a 3rd world country .... living on the minimum wage, in a run down apartment block, where people die from drive by shootings ..... may be fine to you. But to those coming from countries which are not like that, find it difficult.
Unless you're from Leicester ha ha ..... joke.
Just like the Eastern Block people who come to England thinking that the money they make fom daffodil picking in Cornwall is the equivalent to a fortune back in whatever place they came from. Yet, only students and the unemployed Brits would ever dream of doing such a menial job.

The poverty guidelines given with the Affidavit of Support are no way a reflection of what you'll really need to live on in a lot of places in America ..... to the standard which some of us Brits are used to ..... they are just that ..... poverty guidelines.
Let's not forget that the cost of petrol there is also creeping up ..... it may not be as high as England, but it certainly isn't the 90 cents a gallon it used to be.

Yes, living in America may seem great to those who have never been ..... just look at Baywatch and Friends ..... how cool .... but they forget to tell you, that you will be lucky to get 10 days paid holiday a year with a lot of jobs ..... if you don't sort out your medical insurance, you'd better NOT get sick ...... and the cost of living is not as cheap as you think in some places .... especially parts of Florida.

This time I'm prepared ..... I'm sorting out my education transcripts already ..... and getting ready for my state exams for when I get there.

I love America, don't get me wrong ..... there are many amazing things about America, and I have a lot of loyalty to the country .... I've spent a huge amount of my life there, and growing up in America gave me many skills which enabled me to flourish beyond my wildest dreams when back in the U.K. ..... the education I received at school there was incredible ..... I would definately choose an American school over an English school ...... the teachers I had there actually cared ... and taught me that I could be whatever I wanted to be, I just had had to want it bad enough.
Whereas most schools I attended in England only showed me that unless I was the cream of the crop ..... I was simply a 'nothing'. Confidence is not something I was used to having built in the UK ..... that came from my parents ..... but most of all my American schools. I cannot praise the teachers there highly enough.

Both sides of the Atlantic have their plus points, and their negative points. And even though we speak the same language ..... at times it's as if you're living in Timbuktu ..... you will get used it, I promise.

I too will need to get used to it all over again ..... but I love my Husband sooo much, that I'm happy to return to the US to be with him, and go through the transition again.

My advise at this stage would be to look at what jobs pay good money and check out how to qualify for them ..... community college is cheap in some places ..... and you'll get a great confidence boost from the teachers, they really are helpful.
Don't give up ..... I know it's difficult ..... but, like you said, you fought so hard to get there to be with your Man. There's always a way.

Big hug,
Sarah xx

p.s. I see you're in Florida, I'm going to be in Atlanta for a year when I get there and then we're planning to move to Florida afterwards. I guess life just runs full circle sometimes .... And by the way Rocinante, please don't compare Florida to Indiana .... each state can be like a different country sometimes, I've lived in quite a few.

Sarah Sarah Sarah..... I LOVE YOU :-)



You just made me laugh out loud and then cry, THANK YOU!!

You honestly don't realise how much that post affected me, thank god for people like you!!

I am going to send you my email address though private message hope thats ok... id love to keep in touch... THANKYOU!

it's against the law for hospitals to turn people away if they don't have insurance!!!!

also, he wasn't comparing Indiana and Florida at all he was saying here $10/hr is comfortable but there it may not be.

from your post it doesn't really sound like you like the US as much as you say you do. wtf?

Amber& Neil...i think that is a tad harsh....kipandsarahjayne were simply posting their experiences and feelings on the matter ...which i understand, is legitimate debate and seems to have given the OP a positive aspect despite everything. We all have different experiences and what may seem to "connect" with one person will be something someone else cannot relate to, it does not lessen its value.

I think there is some valid points in the post - like many we choose to move to US to be with our SO, but there are some hardships and concerns that come with it for most of us....this forum allows us to share them, and offer solutions in some cases, sounds like you dont like criticism? even if it is valid?

Well, I too was put off with Sarah's unnecessary 'zinger' to Rocinante. It left a very distateful color to the rest of her post.

-Samby

Ditto here!

The weight thing happened to me a few years ago. I had all the insurance info filled out and ready to go, then she asked me how much I weighted and when I told her she said "oh, you have to be XXX about of weight or less! Which, at the time I was 5 pounds away from that weight! Seems there is always a reason to not insure someone around here either because of weight or medical conditions.

I searched for quite a while, but couldn't find anything online about the legality of denying insurance based on weight or BMI in Florida. In fact, about the only useful thing I DID find, was this: http://www.floridahealthfinder.gov/HealthPlans/Default.aspx

Ok, I just found some info...



http://www.florida-health-quotes.com/flori...-insurance.html

So....how DO people get insurance then?

May I point out that this is just a blanket reply to those that seem to have got the wrong end of the stick.

Firstly I'm pleased to hear that it is now illegal to turn people away from a hospital for not having insurance ..... I was living there in the 90's when that started happening ..... all thanks to Hilary Clinton at the time. I remember it well, and it only started in a few states.
Previous to that, this was not the case, in the 80's, turning people away for not having insurance is exactly what they DID do. My Mum worked in hospitals there.

Secondly, I appologise if you all think I was harsh to the guy in Indiana, but I didn't give him a 'zinger' he was just not very understanding to Kat about the medical insurance situation (read all of his posts .... he was quite mean).
I was just pointing out that things can be quite different from state to state, as a lot of people don't realise. And that basically you cannot just presume what the policies are in your state, are the same in all the others. There are a lot of systems that differ from state to state.

Thirdly, I agree that in some places $10 an hour is a comfortable wage, but as I've just said, there are differences from state to state. Plus, there's also the point, that some people have difficulty in finding those $10 an hour jobs. It all depends on where they find themselves.
We cannot judge others, that may end up only finding a job with the minimum wage .... and if your rent is $800 a month (as it will be in parts of Florida), it's not going to work. Hence mentioning the run down apartment blocks .... cos that's where you'll end up.
No different to England ..... if you can't earn a decent wage, you can't live in a decent area, period.

I've noticed that there are a couple of posts around the site where people are finding it hard to find a job at all. There is always someone who is worse off than you, and we can never forget that.

All I did was agree that it can be hard at times, both countries have their plus points and negative points .... as ALL countries do. I could list a ton of stuff that sucks about the UK too.

Kat was just asking for help in her post .... and was afraid that her words would make people hate her, yet she shouldn't have to worry about that, the girl is having a hard time .... can't we just offer a little bit of understanding ? ..... marriage is hard enough at times, without added outside pressures.

At the end of the day, there are many different issues we all face, whether it be homesickness ..... unable to get health insurance .... cockroaches the size of tonker trucks ..... to just missing our favourite brand of tea.

We are all different ..... but we all do what we do, cos we love our soulmates.

WTF????

I was "mean"!? For trying to help her out? You have issues. NO where was I in any way mean. I was trying to understand how she could be turned down for insurance due to being slightly overweight. I'd never heard of that happening.

And what's this crap about Hillary Clinton? Public hospitals have NEVER been able to turn away people without insurance that I am aware of. Hillary didn't have a damn thing to do with that.

That is really great of you to have tried to look at Helping Kat .... and I'm sorry if I sounded as though I was being horrid to you, it wasn't meant in that way. I too thought you were coming off as mean, as others thought I was to you. Maybe I should use the emoticons more
Yes, things are different in Florida .... and I have no idea how she can get insurance at this stage .... this is a very worrying thought. And yes, it does seem strange, in a country where there are more larger people per capita than anywhere else.
But as you can see, the weight is an issue.

You can obviously type faster than me
There are no issues, just a misunderstanding, which I've appologised for.
And yes, they did used to turn people down for not having insurance .... I even remember a time where I was taken into hospital there back in 1982 after a fall at school, and they wouldn't touch me until my parents proved they had insurance.
Things are different now, thank goodness.
Yes, back in the 90's when Bill Clinton was in office, Hilary started to turn that around, she did quite a lot from what I remember, even though she was only the 1st lady. It was all over the news .... I lived in Seattle at the time.
It only started in a few states back then.

Ooh this got heated!

I am very early in the process but ni'll be moving to Florida..and i'm overweight. My fiance has very good health cover so i wonder if i'll be able to get added to it?

As for minimum wage - well, he has an excellent job so i suppose I wont have to worry, but I WILL work, and if that means bar work or waitressing then so be it......

I love this site. It's so full of useful info!

Ah ..... now I know why you jumped down my throat about Hilary Clinton sorting out the hospitals back in the 90's .... you're looking at her from a political angle at the moment .... I was just mentioning what happened back then. It's amazing how so many things get forgotten over the years.
Politics is really something I don't want to get into .....

Hi there,

I have a few questions/suggestions.

Firstly: has your American spouse considered applying for a government job? By that I mean state or federal? The benefits with the Federal govt are pretty darn good, and you better believe there are a lot of jobs to be had.

Secondly: Are there any universities near where you live? If so, I would strongly urge you to try and get a job doing just about anything at one of them because their benefits also tend to be rather good.

When I first got my work authorization I made a bee line for the best university in the area and got an entry level job with them. It was great, I got pretty darn decent health and tuition benefits, and once you are in the system it's quite simple to move up the levels.

One other poster mentioned having to get foreign degrees analyzed, and this is true, but it doesn't take that long (look on an good university website for links and details of which companies they recommend). They can do the same thing for your GCSE's and A-Levels.

Here's the website for federal jobs: Federal Jobs and Employment Information

I hope you're feeling better soon, Kat.

Hilary talked the talk on health care, she did not walk the walk.

If a Hospital has Federal funding it is required to provide Emergency care to all, obviously it has to be an Emergency and they are only obliged to do the minimum to get you out the door.

Still shaking my head that $10 an hour is considered a living wage, our monthly Health Cover would be a weeks wages.

It's not. For any reasonable standard of living.

but two people making $10/hr = $20/hr I think it's probably doable. can't be over the top with purchases but in certain parts of the country it is very livable

Wouldn't even cut it in Cincinnati, let alone a bigger city.

I could barely live on $10 on hour in Michigan 15 years ago (having to get health insurance independently takes out a huge chunk of change), I don't know how anyone could do it now unless they didn't have to pay for housing (living with parents/house paid off/etc).

I suppose it would do if one still lived at home with mom and dad and had no real responsibilities.

I was just making a general statement, and I clarified that it was related to HERE, where I live. Not that it's anyone's business, but both Mags and I make more than $10/hour, since it seems that some mistook my comment. I was merely saying - since the OP was feeling pretty crappy about the US (which I can understand) - that other parts of the country probably have a lower income than where she is, but the cost of living is much lower, too.

$20/hour here (2@$10/hour) for a normal week is very adequate. The average 2bd/2ba apartment is $500-$650/month. Housing is generally 25% of your income. There's your 25%.

I would suggest not talking so disgustedly about "only" making $10/hour....I'll bet there are more than a few people on VJ who are making that or less. Making comments about "living at home with mom and dad" and such is really uncalled for.

If someone lives at home, their cost of living is nil so it does factor in to it.

And no one said "only" $10/hour.

Completely relevant to the topic and the cost of living.

I sometimes do not make $10 an hour, can you survive on it, many do, people I work with, can you live on it, no.

I think whether or not you can make it on $10/hour elsewhere in the country is irrelevant to the OP since they seem to be where they are because of her husband's children.

Live in FL and that's about half of my rent payment...and my apt. complex is considered average...

Wow, accomodation is really cheap where Rocinante lives ..... in Atlanta, for a 2bd/2ba apartment around that price, I'd need bars on my windows, armed guards, and a bullet proof car
I couldn't even find apartments for that price in Seattle and Las Vegas back in the 90's.
So, the low down is ...... in Indiana, overwieght people can get health insurance ..... and you can survive on $10 an hour ...... maybe we should all move to where Rocinante lives??? ..... could be cozy
...... by the way, I'm having a laugh .... I'm not being mean, ok? .... so, no chewing my head off this time.

Housing would cost 23% less if you move to Indiana....

http://cgi.money.cnn.com/tools/costoflivin...p;x=41&y=10


Indiana -> LA:
http://cgi.money.cnn.com/tools/costoflivin...mp;x=49&y=8


So much for those cheap groceries we californians get!

Salary in Terre Haute IN:
$20,800
Comparable salary in Los Angeles-Long Beach CA:
$35,121.76

If you move from Terre Haute IN to Los Angeles-Long Beach CA...

Groceries will cost: 35.336% more
Housing will cost: 219.155% more

She is probably looking into individual health insurance. There are different guidelines for individual or small groups than for large companies. Im from IN too, mostly likely she would be rated up not refused insurance.

hmmm, this website suggests the OP's problems of not being able to get health insurance are not unusual

Maybe this might be worth a phone call?

http://www.immigrationhealth.com/

They work for big companies, this is exactly what keeps most people from becoming entreprenuers in the good ol USA

Of course...that would require having to live in Indiana...yikes!

WOW.... I knew this woul happen, there are ALWAYS people on this site who thrive on judging people's opinions!

I have left a post about this many months ago.



ANYWAY.... Thankyou to all of you that have goiven me advice and support. I decided to try calling Blue cross Blue sheild, only to find out that they TOO have weight hight ratio limits. Apparently I have to be between 97-171pounds at 5ft2 to qualify.

Anyway... Im still in same boat as I was yesterday....



Thanks agian guys.... the majority of you... are wonderful!!!

i'm not trying to be cruel here...so don't take it wrong, but it seems sometimes you have to pay the price for where you live...it's just when you don't live in a city/suburban area the pricetag on things tends to be a bit more reasonable....people can live on lower salaries and be just as comfortable as those making larger salaries in the big cities...my ex in-laws were shocked to see the kind of house they could afford here as opposed to the affluent neighborhood they lived in close (45 min) to a major us city...as for the insurance issue...sometimes when you go to school at a college or university, you can get healthcare administered on campus, if necessary. Of course, this doesn't help the issue if you should get a major illness, but again if you can find a job at the university, especially a state-run university, the benefits are usually the best you can get, not to mention all the other things available to you i.e. rec. center, library, free internet usage, things you could cut back on from home quite possibly until you can get that cushion of comfort. my old uni even showed semi-current films at the weekends and only charged a guest $1, while i got in free with my ID. allowing you a night away from reality which it sounds like you may be able to use once in awhile! not to mention other cultural/athletic/etc. events....thankfully i already have a full-time job which provides me benefits for a nominal weekly fee and my spouse (providing he cannot obtain medical etc. benefits from his own job) can be added on for a few extra dollars....good luck, you've received a lot of 'food for thought' on this thread!