My fiance and I will marry soon, however things are getting slightly "rocky." I dont want to get into it.


One question, if we get married, submit the paperwork for AOS, then we decide its not going to work....can she just go back to her country and I call to cancel the AOS with Immigration?

If she does this, she's obviously not allowed back in the USA, so what would the courts say when I filed for divorce??




THANKS EVERYONE!

She can go home at any time. Cancel AOS, they won't send you a refund.

Divorce varies by state, so it may be easier to do so before she leaves. But a better idea would be to wait with getting married, you have 90 days. If things don't work out, save yourself the trouble.

She can leave anytime she wants...no one is a prisioner here. If she doesnt show up for the AOS interview, its an automatic denial with a letter telling her to leave the country. You cant do anything with the petition...it is her petition.

If you decfide to get a divorce, do it before shye leaves or at least have her served, otherwise she would have to accept service with a certified receipt from her home country.

Wow, speaking about divorce before you even marry is a big red flag.

I hope you work it out.

Why get married if its not working out? Do you think marriage will bring you closer together? It probably wont. Invest your money in a great therapist and fix those rocky areas before marriage.

Correct, it is not an absolute requirement to marry within the 90 days of the K-1 I-94, if you marry ontside the 90 days, then follow this guide: http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...page=i130guide2

True, but not a process without potential pitfalls. If they ultimately decide never to get married, then the benneficiary has accrued out of status time and could potentially have a ban on any future entries for a period of time.

I dated someone for about 3 years when I was in college. The natural step after graduation seemed to be marriage and he proposed on my graduation day. It wasn't until someone pointed out how unhappy I seemed to be when discussing the wedding that I realized that my mindset was, "If it doesn't work out, I can always get a divorce." I ended the engagement.

Don't treat marriage as a disposable commodity.

To the OP..... do yourself a big favour... DONT GET MARRIED.

If your gut is telling you that it might not work out then you owe it to yourself and your SO to be up front and honest about how things really are.... it is one thing being in a long distance relationship and another thing living in the same house together...

Make sure she leave befor the I-94 expires and that way it will not accrue her any out of status time... much better to part now that to wait and then get married and then file for a divorce....

Kez

The OP said:

I don't believe advice on getting married/not getting married is welcome in this situation, and advising someone to abandon their marriage with so little information to go on is actually doing a disservice IMO. Sounds to me like the OP is just exploring options. Nothing wrong with that, and given the (lack of) information, nothing to predict gloom and doom over.

Ah, but he can! Successful AOS depends on a viable and sustaining marriage. If the USC spouse informs the USCIS that the marriage is terminating, the AOS will be denied, or at the very least she will be called for an interview...which she can either attend alone, and be denied, or fail to attend and be denied. Additionally, a USC sponsor can withdraw an I-864 if the application to which it is attached has not yet been decided. Therefore, he could withdraw his Affidavit.

true true true...all those things wilo happen, but he cannot withdraw the petition...it is her petition...he hasw no standing. He cannot cancel the AOS, but he can withdraw the I-864.

Do not get married if you think often about it.

*Technically* it is her application...BUT...it rests upon a sustaining marriage to a US citizen, and if the USC were to inform USCIS and the local office that the marriage is terminating BEFORE the application is adjudicated, at the very least the Service will call the applicant and her spouse for an interiew, and if he "no shows" the Service cannot approve the case.

Divorce is a state issue. Immigration status doesn't impact divorce. If either of you simply fails to attend the AOS interview, no status adjustment will occur. She is free to leave the USA at will.

the problem is some get approved without interview...then what?

Diaddie just said that if the spouse advises USCIS that the marriage is terminating, USCIS will not approve without an interview. And then if the USC doesn't show up the interview, there is an obvious denial.

Not wishing to appear pedantic, but technnically, if either of them fails to attend an AOS interview, status adjustment will occur. From "in" to "out". But I get what you are "laying down"....

The statues prevail and the statutes state that in order for an alien to adjust status by way of a marriage to a USC, that marriage must be viable and sustaining. If a submission has been made to USCIS and the USC wishes to make certain that the case will not be adjudicated without an interview, in cases like this where the marriage is unravelling, if he or she does not wish to take the chance that a piece of correspondence alerting the Service to the terminal state of the marriage not get placed in the A-file and be acted upon post haste, then his or her best shot would be to request to withdraw the I-864. No AOS submission can be adjudicated without an I-864 from the petitioner.

All communications with USCIS of this sort, that are time-sensitive, should be forwarded to both the Service Centre that has jurisdiction over the alien's case and the local district office, and by return receipt.

You can also assure the case isn't transferred and approved without interview by leaving out the I-693a. They'll either schedule an interview or send an RFE for it. Regardless, if you become certain your relationship is over before AOS is complete, withdraw the I-864.

Being married is hard work. This does not mean it is not worth it or rewarding, you just should be sure before you do it, because life will bring lots of unsure situations your way and you will have to deal with them, ready or not.

I wish you all the best in however you decide to proceed.

As with anything, sure there are ways out of it. But you will save yourself a great deal of heartaches and headaches by making sure your initial decision is the right one for BOTH of you.

Best wishes,
Kathleen

so does does anyone have any idea about what a court would say if I applied for teh divorce, but my ex was already out of the country and unable to return?

how can I divorce her if she lives in another country and is not allowed to return here?



and thanks to EVERYONE for your replies thus far:) you're awesome!

It's not a petition, it's an application. (Sorry, this was bugging me.) When my husband and I applied for AOS with the I130 since he was already here, the petition was mine (at least my name was on it) and I could have withdrawn it. Same as an I-129F can be withdrawn.

AOS is the immigrant's application, though.



I'm not sure, but I remember reading that unilateral divorces are valid as long as the other party is notified - would this apply in the US? I'm sure someone will know...

Check with your State but I believe most States allow "service by publication" for such circumstance. The only issue is notifying her that you are petitioning the court to terminate your marriage. Unless you want some of her money in any settlement agreement, the marriage can be terminated without her input. No court is going to give you any of her money anyway with such a short marriage.

As has been said earlier. If you intend to divorce, it's better to serve her the divorce papers before she leaves but it is not required.

You can still mail her something correct, preferably something with a return receipt, or some sort of delivery confirmation, no? That's all that is needed here to demonstrate that the respondent is aware of the suit.

Why would your fiancee (or ex-wife) not be allowed to return to the US? As long as she does not incur an overstay of more than 6 months, then she can still apply for other types of visas (including K1).

I'm saying if we divorce BEFORE the AOS is completed and she returns to her country. She won't be allowed to return to America just so she can go to court for a divorce.

Why would she need to physically be here for a divorce to be declared final...can't a divorce be made final in absentia (of one party or another)? It may involve a longer wait period, but I've not heard that it can't be done. I think as long as she signs the divorce papers, she does not need to be physically present to go to court for the divorce to be finalized.

-P

One thing here not mentioned earlier is that if you apply for AOS and divorce, then you are still liable to support her as per your affidavit of support. If you have misgivings now, before the marriage, don't do it. Just wait and talk it out.

That's true if the AOS is complete but the I-864 can be withdrawn at will up until the permanent resident status is granted.

Well, that won't necessarily work. This community is full of people who received their greencard without submitting I693A with their file. The anecdotal evidence suggests that if the Panel Physician in the home country certified at the consulate medical to the completeness of the required vaccines, some AO's will sign off on the file without the I693A. Other site members, knowing full well their vaccines were adequate, were RFE'd for the I693A.

It's not an absolute that lack of this document will throw the case back for interview, or even generate an RFE. It's one of those inconsistencies with the service.

I still can't figure out why anyone would get married with this kind of doubt.

This post makes me sad. So sorry you are having doubts.

One thing to consider is if you marry and then she goes back, without divorcing and without submitting AOS, she will not be allowed back in the US. You will have to file a K-3 or a CR-1 at that point. I know someone this very scenario is happening to.

Please take your time and consider all options before you marry.

Why marry when the only thing you can think of right now is how to end it eventually