Im suppose to have my interview in USEm on MArch 11, but it wont happen anymore.
Unfortunately we end the relationship exactly Feb14.

Called his house and the girlfriend was there. This is not the first time though, its the second time with the same girl.
Shes filipina too.

ME and my child(child with him) will move on, right? LIfe moves on.

I'm sorry

Hi there!

I'm so sorry to hear this but is there no chance to reconsider your decision and examine the situation thoroughly before calling it quits? Is the reason infidelity on his side or just jealousy? Hope you can work things out. It's a waste to throw everything away. God bless you sis & give you the strength you need!

its kinda odd posting it here, but i got no one to talk to.
its not jealousy. I cannot low down myself on him, making me believe everything he said and all the denials.
4 years ago when i found out about it. I talk to him, we dont have to waste each other time, as u know, the drama nd forgiveness is there because we have a child.
march of last year and the same thing happened. He came over and make up with me which again i agreed.
then we started the petition.
all along i thought we are ok, but behind me they are together whenever he have business trips or family trips.
Feb 13 when i sense something wrong, I called and she answered.
My both hands are up now. been together for 8 years. they been together for 10.

i can't take it. but for her shes ok, threesome.

Well my child and I will be together, thats all it matters now.

im so sorry,i know what you feel.did you talk about whats gonna happen to you guys,you cannot just give up you have baby.the child have a rights.im sorry i carried away.coz ived been in that situation.when i find out that time thats the first thing in my mind move on without him.but afterall i realize theres one child who gonna suffer if i decide like that,you have to talk.just pray.....god bless

That is horrible news, remember that life does go on and can still be enjoyed to its fullest. May the Lord be with you in this difficult time.

well, this is life I guess.
masakit man, we need to accept.

God help ME

I could empathize with the agonizing pain that you are going through. Normally, i would suggest, DROP THAT SCUMBAG OUT OF YOUR LIFE ASAP! but in this case, just think of your child, she is entitled to her right to become a full pledged US citizen, she is already a US passport holder right?... i hope you would consider going for that interview even if it is just for your child...

the pain maybe blurring your rational thinking right now, it would definitely blur mine if i am in your situation. cry it out, shout it out.. then pls assess your situation here and then of your child's future.. I am a single mom, been one for 8years and it is not a piece of cake.... im not saying you stay with that scumbug bf of yours forever... i just hope that you would consider going there so you could really demand child support from him and also give your child her rights as a US citizen.

I will be keeping you in my prayers.

Dear ciarra.. I hope things work out for you and your child. I probably can't feel the pain you are going through right now but I can understand and maybe its better to know what kind of a relationship you were getting into now before its too late. Do take some time out and then think about what you want to do.
Wishing you all the best

oh thanks to all who took time to symphatize.
That's a big one.

Its really hard right now.

As much as we may want things to work out, there appears to be a major disconnect between what the OP wants and what the "fiance" wants. Clearly, the OP wants a one-on-one relationship and the fiance wants a wife AND a girlfriend. From my professional experience, maintaining a relationship for the sake of children is rarely a workable option. Children are very perceptive and will pick up on the stress. It is quite clear that this man has no intention of stopping his relationship with the girlfriend even though the OP has presumably asked him to do so. The OP would be better served to move on, make a life for her and her child and make sure that the guy takes care of his fatherly responsibilities. I wish Ciarra all the best.

Well said Derek! I'm sorry, but I don't see a , "lets stay together for the sake of the kids" type of solution to this. dbears....the child is already a US citizen by virtue of birth....a US passport can be obtained for him if needed. When he/she reaches adulthood a decision can be made at the time for what to do about the benefits of his/her US citizenship. What you seem to be suggesting to the OP is not to "drop kick" the fiancee just because there's a child involved? Honesty and respect...and yes love mean more than that! It seems this woman has been strung along for quite some time w/ empty promises. You would now have her commit an even bigger mistake by following through w/ immigration, leaving her home to come to a strange land and be w/ a man who can't seem to make up his mind between his women? Sorry, but I don't agree w/ your advice.

Ciarra, this man has not treated you with the respect you deserve as a woman, and as the mother of his child. He wants both of you? Not right...not going to happen! Please try to move on...make sure the father takes responsibility for his child and leave the rest to karma.

Good luck to you,

-P

Wow. very sorry to hear this. Sounds like something that has been going on for a very long time. You say you have a child together. I hope he still plans on being part of that child's life. Otherwise, he was never really worth your love and time. I hope you have strength to move on and live a happy life. Take care.

sorry to hear that ciarra...Did you ever try to talk to that filipina??does she know you have a child with the man she is with?shame on her.....I don't really agree in dropping and forgetting everything and just live together just for the sake of the child.. A child need to have a father and grow with a father but with a father that is not even faithful to his woman which is very disrespectful I dont think the child deserved to have a father like him...The father itself doesn't even think of his child to have a family because of what he did.. If you decided to end it up...move on girl you have the ANGEL with you which is your child....

Thinking of you
Stay strong.

wow, I know u guys are sincere,advising me and making my burden lighten. I really appreciate it.


To Jessel Chris, yes i talk to that B#@% at first last March 2007 she was calm, and told me that my petitioner cheated her b4. But im not in the picture that time, that was long ago. Based on her story, Base on her story, I assume she swallow the ####, eat her pride and continue on with my petitioner. I will say he cheated on her again because he finally met me and we had a child. That B#$% learned our story that time in March when she visited my petitioner in Guam(B#$$% live in MAryland) when she returned to US she called me.To make the story short he ask forgiveness and forgive him.

He claims now the B$$% called her 1am in the morning telling him shes at the airport of Guam and giving him surprise visit for v day i guess and he picked her up. To sum it up, and not to mention the past years he disappear for weeks spending time with her, 2007 of MArch they are together, we are on April, July, them on OCtober, we again on november and them on Dec. we are again Last Jan 2008 and them again this Feb. And we will be suppose to be together this MArch because hes'coming for my interview.

so tell me guys, granted that the B##$%% just show up In GUam, why did he picked her up? And what are they doing together in October and Dec. while we are still on the time of making up with each other. Doesnt it shows he cannot let her go, right?

But that's ok, I have my daughter. I'll be more than happy to have her.
Thank you for listening.I'm overwhelmed..

Sorry to hear about it, be strong and have faith and you will find someone better in time
god bless you

I'm taking back my earlier position on this. You guys are right, without honesty, respect and love the relationship with the OP and the petitioner will never work out even though they have a child. (unless of course with divine intervention)

If the guy takes responsibility, well and good if not, then so be it...She's already wasted 8 precious years with this guy.. its really time to move on.

To Ciarra: Like what i said in my PM, just be strong.. this too shall pass.

God be your constant strength and refuge. <HUGS>

Ciarra, so sorry to hear about this bad situation that your fiance has allowed to develop. Stay strong for your little girl as it will not be an easy task. I wish you the best and may you find someone who will give you the love and respect that you deserve.