Now that our interview is close at hand...Im looking to find ways to make him feel and home and help him with the transition. New culture..new home..new style of everything....

What are some things you seasoned VJ'ers have done to help your love adjust to life in the states...what has worked..what hasn't...what adjustments did you have to go through living together and blending your lives...


I was thinking of buying a blanket from egypt...to keep in our room...some egyptian wall hangings...maybe his favorite toothpaste from there, soaps and colognes....learn a few egyptian food recipees...order arabic tv or online arabic football...download the Adhan on the computer...

What about you...share your ideas....we all know this is an on going process and them adjusting is just part of it.

There was a really good thread about this some time back, does anyone remember who made it?

I didnt really search..I am to lazy for that...LOL...BUT...Im sure in addition to anything anyone finds on that old thread...maybe some have more or new ideas??? I'm happy to see that thread if someone can find it...Im wayyyyyyyyyy to lazy to do more searching tonight...LOL

I wouldnt even know where to begin to search. I'm hoping someone here has a good memory. It had a lot of good ideas on it!

I think you may have been thinking of this thread: http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=24262

well, the beginning of that thread is useful, at least

Well that sure was a fun read.

jJ

My husband brought one of those really thick, velour blankets with him. We love it! It's so cozy.

I would say learning to cook some Egyptian foods is a good idea although I rarely do myself anymore. Husband prefers "American" foods now. Getting Arabic satellite/cable stations is nice, also. I wouldn't go the athan route only because those electronic athans scare the crapola out of me. Maybe print out a prayer time list and put it on the fridge. A bidet type thingy is a nice idea also. We've been talking about getting one of those. Using a plastic cup isn't cutting it. The toilet seat is always wet...a wet bum is no fun!

As far as this subject goes, we tended to search out things together as a learning experience for both of us. Andre was very excited to find the two international grocery stores here and to find we can get the meats, fruits, veggies, and spices at our farmer's market for much cheaper.

Other then that, he was not overly excited about anything else to do specifically with Jamaica that we could find..........restaurants, musical experiences, clothing, etc. He has not actively sought out the local Jamaican community.

He always says he is in the US and he wants to experience EVERYTHING the US has to offer.

Your husband sounds so much like mine. My husband said the first day that he wanted to learn how to be American .he loves everything here and he says that he doesn't miss anything from back home. he loves to cook moroccan dishes for me, and I am sure that he doesn't expect me to know how to cook moroccan food. He is not interested in meeting other moroccans here. He has been here for almost 4 months, but he says that he feels like he has lived here his whole life. I ask him his secret for his easy adjustment and he says that he came prepared, whatever that means. As soon as he arrived here we went to see all the different grocery stores in the area. We went to the mediterranean store, but he didn't like it because it was too expensive. He loves Aldi's and everything that is cheap. Now, we spend less than I used to spend before he came, he has taught me a lot about being careful with money.

My apt. looks like Nepal already, down to the 'lota' next to the toilet and the huge bags of dal and rice in the kitchen. I joke that my apt. building is like a mini - SAARC because we have people from India, Bangladesh, Pakistan, Sri Lanka... He will be the first Nepali.

My husband brought lots of CDs of music with him and knew lots of websites to watch videos and download more Arabic music. Thats helped.

I already had all the Moroccan spices, a tagine, etc to make sure he could get Moroccan food if he wanted it. Usually HE cooks when he wants Moroccan (whew) I guess he thinks I won't do a good enough job...but I sure don't mind!

I would find out local Arabic markets for your husband to go to if he wants to check them out.


My husband never cared about the bidet or prayer times or anything but if yours does it wouldn't hurt to set those up for him!

Mostly I would tell him to bring things HE wants with him when he comes. Maybe explain to him how things are very different and if he has any favorite things (cologne, toothpaste, whatever he wants) that he should bring it.

I would definitely say learning to cook some recipes from his "home" and getting Arabic satellite will work WONDERS. However, it still is a tough process and be prepared.

I would definitely say learning to cook some recipes from his "home" and getting Arabic satellite will work WONDERS. However, it still is a tough process and be prepared.

Did we have a famous MENA cat fight in there?

I would definately agree with this! (Food and Arabic tv)

My husband has been here almost 3 years now. He arrived with the attitude of learning everything here and blending our cultures. So far it has worked. He did bring some things with him that we set out in our home. I made sure to have things cleared so he had his space upon arrival. I had ESL classes set up so he would have something to do. Driving lessons and life lessons. He brought his tagine with him and he does the Moroccan cooking, with my assistance of course, but we use the crock pot most of the time, which he loves. I do the American cooking but he can cook that just as well as me now. We didn't purchase any special programs or anything, if he wants to watch something he can get it on the computer most of the time. I just think spending time and being there for all the questions helps. If we were with them in their country, they would do the same for us. It's really hard to remember the beginning at times but when I do think back, we have come so far and it's all been worth it. I doubt anyone would know that he hadn't lived here for a very long time now. He is as independent now as he was in Morocco. There are many adjustments for both people but it can be done with lots of love and great communication.

Good luck and enjoy.

Doreen

Wow Goodluck to everybody... but what about stubborn spouses who don't appreciate the free American lifestyle I love America



Help them meet other local Arabs they will appreciate that friendship

They will have to get over their stubborness or they will never make it here. My husband was VERY stubborn in the beginning and it lasted about a month or so. We place so much emphasis saying what a big change it is for them but in reality it's a big change for both parties. Your husband has to adjust to a new life style and new surroundings to say the very least. You have to get used to having someone depend on you constantly and explaining every little thing. Its trying and frustrating in the beginning for both parties.

I didn't do anything really to make my husband feel at home when he arrived because he came on a fiance visa and we didn't live together until after we got married. I basically just took him sight seeing and spent some time with him. Now that we live together, we have arabic tv, lots of photos of family members, and foods/spices/etc from home everywhere. However I think the most important thing I did was before he came and it REALLY helped in his adjustment. I set up a vonage phone and mailed it to him in Jordan, he set it up and it was great. He had an american phone number so no more calling cards! Now his parents and family use it to communicate with him. I think that was something that put him at ease because whenever he felt homesick, they were only a phonecall away.

Wow!! I can't believe I haven't read this anywhere else on this site. This is a spectabulous idea!!! Does that mean you don't pay for the calls? It's just part of your local calling plan?

Our friend keeps telling us to do this. But I still don't understand how it works.

We bought special food from Jamaica off a website. The house has decorations of his home country. The first 2 months were hard when he first arrived but having him get involved with school and a job. Was the best. He made friends that helped the most. Having the internet so he can talk to his friends back home. Oh and a friend he made that had lived in Jamaica for a year. All the best.

Hmmm.........well, if the phone is through your internet connection, then you can set it up here and just use the internet connection and the router box on any computer to use your phone. That's what it would seem to me cause I use VOIP here.

Nope we don't. Basically I ordered a vonage phone and picked the area code I wanted (same as mine) and I sent him the phone. He set it up at home on his computer and that was it. Its been almost 2 years now since I sent it and the only think I pay for is the cost of the vonage service which about $28 a month. We never had to worry about how long we talked since that time, no more $400 calling card bills, and the best part? I have Tmobile and we both have that number in our Fave Five! So we can even talk from a cell phone anytime we want without worrying about our minutes.

Many people on the site have done and posted it when they did, but I'm sure those threads are buried now.



Yup and they can do the same thing there. The only catch is they have to have DSL, the faster the better.

wow with all the money i spent on calling morocco i could have bought them a computer and this vonage service! *stomps foot

i just recently started calling him with cards We spend like 25 dollars a day speaking wallah. thanks alot to who posted the idea up. Sadly he has no computer there and no dsl only net cafe. He is not computer efficient at all we cant even chat online I will try to do that when I go again out of country.

I bought my hubby to be a Bidet that attaches to my standard toilet. This was a concern for him because of the need to be clean for the prayers. He said he can live with everything else. I found a really good site. The one I bought was only $89 and I just finished installing it and works good. He will be very clean when he here....LOL.

Cheryl

Hi Cheryl,
What is the url??
thanks
Faith

I would love to be able to do this but I think you need a free-standing toilet, not apartment style(no tank) - right?

I guess we're going to have to stick with the plastic measuring cup, oh well....

Here is the URl. And no it fits most two piece toilets. It attaches under your toilet seat. Very easy installation. We bought the ACE Bidet. I installed it myself in just a few minutes.

Bidet Attachments for Standard Toilets

Hope it helps you. We got free shipping to anywhere in USA and the ACE one we bought was only $89.

Cheryl




Here is the URl. And no it fits most two piece toilets. It attaches under your toilet seat. Very easy installation. We bought the ACE Bidet. I installed it myself in just a few minutes.

Bidet Attachments for Standard Toilets

Hope it helps you. We got free shipping to anywhere in USA and the ACE one we bought was only $89.

Cheryl

This one's pretty cheap. http://cgi.ebay.com/Bathroom-Bidets-BIDET-...1QQcmdZViewItem

LOL @ the description:

What would you do if you were to get “doggy-do-do” on your hand . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Right, you would wash it off. You wouldn’t use a piece of tissue to spread it thinly over your hand, would you ? That wouldn’t clean it off would it ? No, it would merely spread it more thinly over your hand, rubbing it into the creases and crevices and the pores of your skin. OK, so if you would wash it off your hand, why wouldn’t you treat the more private and personal parts of your body the same way ?

LOL...as right as that is...its still funny to read...LOL

Sorry I am blind sometimes...especially in the mornings. You said you have no tank so it is a one piece toilet. The particular one I bought says it fits all 2 piece toilets but not all one piece toilets. But you can shop around on the site and see if there is one that fits the one piece one. You can measure and see if it fits. Follow this link here and it shows you how to measure to make sure it will fit before you buy. You have to go to the bottom of the page for the measuring instructions.

bidet measurments


Hope this helps you.

Cheryl

I read that too and it does make sense!!!

yep i agree one hundred ten percent we installed in our home for this very reason.......

For people who live in colder climates, have you used the cold water bidet? My SO says, use cold water, but cold water in Ghana and cold water in UpState NY in the middle of winter are two very different beasts.

forget Starbucks, use a cold water bidet from upstate NY to jump start your day!!

When I was in Egypt, I didn't know how powerful the water stream was until I turned on the bidet the first time.... it startled me, I was like: whoaaaaa , very suprised the water didn't come up out of my mouth with that force .

I'm used to the nice, steady, soft stream here

I don't know what's worse.. the chilly water that leaves your cheeks numb or the hot steamy stream that feels like a small branding iron to your butt....... If we leave the "bidet" for a couple of hours, the hot water settles in the pipe.... it just keeps getting warmer... until one lucky soul wakes up in the middle of the night and gets a "Hot Shot"


Actually, I do know which one is worse... and it's the hot water.. because if it's too hot, there's no way to cool it down... but, you get used to the cold water or you just do it really fast & jump up ...

Thanks, that makes total sense.

Another question: child safety locks? Thinking about the kid and the cat. One bathroom upstairs and one downstairs. Already have to replace the tiles in the upstairs bathroom counter because playing in the sink is a favorite past time. Thinking about the new toy aspect.

They advertise it as a water enema. Some people find it appealing. But I've never been a fan of enemas myself.

Guys, in your experiance is the in bowl bidet better than the hand held one or vice versa?

We made our own hand held one and we put hot and cold water ability so that its not so cold in the winter

I remember my first experience with a bidet...my first trip to Egypt. Hmm...didnt know what to do...was checking things out..turned on the faucets...hmm...wouldn't recommend doing that unless you are SITTING on it. Shower was the same...never had a hand held..turned on water...of course the hand held part was just laying there...till the pressure hit it...imagine if you would that thing flying all over the place from the water pressure and water flying everywhere...

That my friends was my first night in an Egyptian hotel!!

I'm getting the one in the bowl because knowing my kids, if I got the handheld one, they'd have a bidet war the first day it's installed. lol

my husband doesnt have running water in his apartment nor did he in his grandmothers house growing up. The rinse off with a bucket and flush the toilet with another bucket of water....there isnt a bidet debate...they bathe down the street in hamams and public showers