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VisaJourney.com > Marriage Based Immigration (K1, K2, K3, etc) to the USA > IMBRA Special Topics

wifetobe
Hi guys I need helpsmilie.gif understanding what the IMBRA has to do with our situe.

My fiance is the US petitioner. We met online..grew in love..met 3 times in 2007..decided to get married on my final visit to him then called for a lawyer to handle our K1 petition. My lawyer now is seeking a waiver to add to our petition. His criminal past history involves alcohol, drug abuse and domestic violence with an ex which is affiliated with the VAWA. Me and my fiance suggested that he contacts his DOC officer to provide a progress report as he meets with him every Thursday though this is relating to drugs and alcohol offenses to ensure he is clean and that he does not violate this agreement otherwise he will be back in jail. Will the DOC officer's progress statement help the weight of our problem here? What has the IMBRA have to do with anything? We were not on a dating website and he has never filed a previous petition for a fiance outside of the US.

Even though I have read the entire contents of the IMBRA, I'm still finding difficulty understanding why our petition can still be denied? Can it? The lawyer was not straight forth with this because he says he has never come across this course of action in all his years in the immigration field and THAT I find very hard to believe.

helpsmilie.gif unsure.gif crying.gif
Carlawarla
QUOTE(wifetobe @ Feb 8 2008, 05:08 AM) *
Hi guys I need helpsmilie.gif understanding what the IMBRA has to do with our situe.

My fiance is the US petitioner. We met online..grew in love..met 3 times in 2007..decided to get married on my final visit to him then called for a lawyer to handle our K1 petition. My lawyer now is seeking a waiver to add to our petition. His criminal past history involves alcohol, drug abuse and domestic violence with an ex which is affiliated with the VAWA. Me and my fiance suggested that he contacts his DOC officer to provide a progress report as he meets with him every Thursday though this is relating to drugs and alcohol offenses to ensure he is clean and that he does not violate this agreement otherwise he will be back in jail. Will the DOC officer's progress statement help the weight of our problem here? What has the IMBRA have to do with anything? We were not on a dating website and he has never filed a previous petition for a fiance outside of the US.

Even though I have read the entire contents of the IMBRA, I'm still finding difficulty understanding why our petition can still be denied? Can it? The lawyer was not straight forth with this because he says he has never come across this course of action in all his years in the immigration field and THAT I find very hard to believe.

helpsmilie.gif unsure.gif crying.gif


Part of IMBRA is to prevent unsuspecting K-1's from coming to the US without knowing the whole of the petitioners criminal history and being in danger. So, firstly, you have to answer "yes" while filing a K-1 because your boyfriend has a criminal history of such a nature. There have been a few people here who have had criminal records (the US Citizen) for drinking/driving offences, where I've seen the Consulate ask the beneficiary, if they know about the petitioners record etc. The examples I have seen here, are for offences however that are historical, not recent.

You say you know of your boyfriends criminal history, but do you know the full extent? I would first suggest that the next time you visit, YOU meet with the DOC...his parole or probation officer. This would be an excellent time for you to firstly find out first hand what his record entails, and the circumstances surrounding his offending behaviour. You say he's currently on some type of supervision due to drinking and/or drugs. While he may be "clean", I don't know historically, how long his substance problem has been.

I think they're going to REALLY look closely however at the domestic abuse conviction (s). What do you know of this situation? Are you aware that this is over and above the alcohol/drug convictions? I have worked with abusive men for over 25 years in the domestic abuse and sexual abuse area. Domestic abuse has nothing to do with alcohol/drugs. Has he taken any Domestic Abuse programming? For how long? How has his attitudes and beliefs about women changed? His parole or probation officer will probably not write anything for your boyfriend without having met you probably. I know I never would.

He/she will probably want you to be aware of his criminal history, and ask you some questions to get an idea how astute you are about these issues. Will you have a safety plan? Do you know what a safety plan is? How will you develop one when you're new to the country? All of these will probably be discussed.

I've probably rambled on here, and I'm sure others will jump in and post their thoughts/ideas and knowledge as well. Maybe someone who's been in similar circumstances.

I would suggest that this will be a long road to approval, one in which you will receive extra scrutiny. Another thing you might want to consider, is finding an attorney that has experience with these type of cases.

I would also suggest that it is possible you could be denied, if the Consulate, your boyfriend's PO, or the interviewer at the Embassy where you'll be interviewed doesn't believe that your boyfriend has made enough strides, and if you could in any way be in danger.

lostinblue
This is why IMBRA was created. My sister was married to the nicest boy in highschool. First it was the slap,later on it was the smack. then came punches and last he sat in a chair with a loaded gun on her for 2 hours trying to decide if he was going to kill her.......She ran like hell ......you do the same. Your biggest problem is if he ever did drugs again and was caught while you are with him it will be a one way trip out of the country for you very quick...
lostinblue
QUOTE(lostinblue @ Feb 8 2008, 09:30 AM) *
This is why IMBRA was created. My sister was married to the nicest boy in highschool. First it was the slap,later on it was the smack. then came punches and last he sat in a chair with a loaded gun on her for 2 hours trying to decide if he was going to kill her.......She ran like hell ......you do the same. Your biggest problem is if he ever did drugs again and was caught while you are with him it will be a one way trip out of the country for you very quick...

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=109078
Read this thread
wifetobe
QUOTE(lostinblue @ Feb 8 2008, 02:30 PM) *
This is why IMBRA was created. My sister was married to the nicest boy in highschool. First it was the slap,later on it was the smack. then came punches and last he sat in a chair with a loaded gun on her for 2 hours trying to decide if he was going to kill her.......She ran like hell ......you do the same. Your biggest problem is if he ever did drugs again and was caught while you are with him it will be a one way trip out of the country for you very quick...

Unfortunately your sister was in a very bad spot of bother that almost made her pay for it with her life. I'm very sorry to hear she went through that atrocious nightmare but she made it out of there and I'm very happy she learnt from her awful experiences. I hear what you're saying (No-one really knows anyone even from childhood and the fact that these reality of events can occur at any time). He does NOT have a string of felonies of violence against women but a lengthy episode in drugs and alcohol which resulted in jail time of a maximum of 80 days. Police were called to a domestic disturbance incident and this happened ONCE years ago with his ex. We have thoroughly talked about that and the drugs got the better of him at the time and he knows he done wrong. I know about my fiance's past as I myself did a check on him and nothing leads me to believe he will kill me or batter me or refrain me from making a call to my family or making me walk in the freezing cold miles to go home. Yes I have thoroughly thought the worst, and the whole of his criminal activity throughout last year during my visits with him, and if I had reason to suspect that this pattern could repeat itself here I would NOT have gone to visit him or engage myself to a life of danger NOR would I have even agreed to start with our petition. I am not saying I am an expert on people and behaviour but I am a well observed judge of character and if I saw a spec of "out of line" talk, I condone that just as bad as violence where I would walk straight out the door in a second. If he did go back to drugs then he would be back in jail leaving me nowhere but going back home it's as simple as that. NO he would not risk losing me or the position he holds in church, his fantastic paying job to a life either dead and buried or nowhere. My fiance has rehabilitated and is still rehabilitating and with me added to the picture last year only brought about him being strongly motivated to remain on the right tracks. I'm not here to defend my fiance I'm here to gain advice about what happens next with regards to how a waiver will help and how long this could take and what the chances are of being approved or denied. Thank you for your comments and link. Carla you were extremely helpful with regards to the info above, thank you both.
truffles
I agree with Carla, my husband has/had alcohol problems which impacted on his THREE previous marriages. No domestic violences. However he participates in a program of recovery and i suspect you and your fiance have already discussed many aspects of his character and behaviour as i know i did. You have already ( i suspect) thought long and hard about your feelings and your abilities to remove yourself from a situation if it becomes intolerable. I told my husband a long time ago when we were discussing issues that should he return to his old ways i am gone ( not because i dont love him but because i will not sit there and watch him self destruct and take me with him).

This is part of the reason we have conducted a relationship that spans 4 and half years before marriage....we both wanted to be sure we knew about the reality of the situation. I know that i must try and understand his disease in order to help him...support him, educate myself on what i need to know to help him and me.

I could not ask for a more loving,caring, respectful man in my life.....people can and do change - they just have to want to. I think Carla is correct about knowing ALL the ins and outs of the past....and if you can show that you are willing to take the necessary steps to support him and educate yourself on issues it cannot harm your case at.

In my limited experience ( I am not a professional) and opinion domestic violence is usually a symptom of behaviours observed as a child - children are blank canvasses and if we show them that we can get what we want by being aggressive and violant thats what they learn.

Never forget though what a special person you are - I hope your future husband knows he has found a real diamond .....

Good Luck
SJ
QUOTE(truffles @ Feb 8 2008, 03:38 PM) *
I agree with Carla, my husband has/had alcohol problems which impacted on his THREE previous marriages. No domestic violences. However he participates in a program of recovery and i suspect you and your fiance have already discussed many aspects of his character and behaviour as i know i did. You have already ( i suspect) thought long and hard about your feelings and your abilities to remove yourself from a situation if it becomes intolerable. I told my husband a long time ago when we were discussing issues that should he return to his old ways i am gone ( not because i dont love him but because i will not sit there and watch him self destruct and take me with him).

This is part of the reason we have conducted a relationship that spans 4 and half years before marriage....we both wanted to be sure we knew about the reality of the situation. I know that i must try and understand his disease in order to help him...support him, educate myself on what i need to know to help him and me.

I could not ask for a more loving,caring, respectful man in my life.....people can and do change - they just have to want to. I think Carla is correct about knowing ALL the ins and outs of the past....and if you can show that you are willing to take the necessary steps to support him and educate yourself on issues it cannot harm your case at.

In my limited experience ( I am not a professional) and opinion domestic violence is usually a symptom of behaviours observed as a child - children are blank canvasses and if we show them that we can get what we want by being aggressive and violant thats what they learn.

Never forget though what a special person you are - I hope your future husband knows he has found a real diamond .....

Good Luck



You're have very good points.

My husband is a LCSW.





wifetobe
QUOTE(truffles @ Feb 8 2008, 09:38 PM) *
I agree with Carla, my husband has/had alcohol problems which impacted on his THREE previous marriages. No domestic violences. However he participates in a program of recovery and i suspect you and your fiance have already discussed many aspects of his character and behaviour as i know i did. You have already ( i suspect) thought long and hard about your feelings and your abilities to remove yourself from a situation if it becomes intolerable. I told my husband a long time ago when we were discussing issues that should he return to his old ways i am gone ( not because i dont love him but because i will not sit there and watch him self destruct and take me with him).

This is part of the reason we have conducted a relationship that spans 4 and half years before marriage....we both wanted to be sure we knew about the reality of the situation. I know that i must try and understand his disease in order to help him...support him, educate myself on what i need to know to help him and me.

I could not ask for a more loving,caring, respectful man in my life.....people can and do change - they just have to want to. I think Carla is correct about knowing ALL the ins and outs of the past....and if you can show that you are willing to take the necessary steps to support him and educate yourself on issues it cannot harm your case at.

In my limited experience ( I am not a professional) and opinion domestic violence is usually a symptom of behaviours observed as a child - children are blank canvasses and if we show them that we can get what we want by being aggressive and violant thats what they learn.

Never forget though what a special person you are - I hope your future husband knows he has found a real diamond .....

Good Luck

Truffles
I enjoyed reading what you had to say, you kept it real and I respect that. I agree with Carla too yes.gif Her words reflected my thoughts when it comes to having a safety plan and although me and hubby have thoroughly discussed the 'what ifs' he knows I will pack him in, it's me or the bottle end of. I have allowed him to feel the flexibility and comfortability in our dome this way he is honest and forthright with everything he has told me about his past, I know I won't be surprised any where down the line. I have the world of strength and patience dealing with his rehabilitation because of the love and commitment endured in our relationship. It takes excess energy to be depended on by hubbies like mine and yours, you said (I know that i must try and understand his disease in order to help him...support him, educate myself on what i need to know to help him and me) and that is exactly what I'm living through too it's not just him that's going through it, it's me too so I relate to your thoughts and feelings. We can only pray that this case goes the way we need it to go. He knows how lucky he is with me in his life but I also know how blessed I am to have met my soul mate too. Thank you for your warm words, good luck to you also good.gif

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