In Dylan's defense, this post was only idle for a week. And even I'm just now finding it for the first time.
I'd say the OP is being severely used. At least it seems this way. We are only getting one side of a story, however. but based on what she's said, it would seem he's not in this marriage for the right reasons. I'd be very cautious and seriously considering talking with a lawyer. 22 thousand?? Jeez. He sounds like a really smooth operator. Best of luck to you.
Full Version: Just found out husband chatting online with woman
VisaJourney.com > General Family Based Immigration Topics > Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits
Barb,
I don't understand what you are waiting for to send him to hell !
I would take the flirting online.. just for that.... i would file a divorce. The trust is not there anymore, forget it !
about the money i wouldn't accept it either but that depend more on your situation and what 22k mean for you.
Don't loose your time with this kind of person.
I don't understand what you are waiting for to send him to hell !
I would take the flirting online.. just for that.... i would file a divorce. The trust is not there anymore, forget it !
about the money i wouldn't accept it either but that depend more on your situation and what 22k mean for you.
Don't loose your time with this kind of person.
QUOTE(natasha peter @ Feb 27 2008, 02:03 PM) 
QUOTE(pushbrk @ Jan 23 2008, 04:37 PM)
QUOTE(BarbSami @ Jan 22 2008, 05:02 PM)
QUOTE(tito @ Jan 22 2008, 07:35 PM)
For some people, 4 years is a long time to be in a monogamous relationship. On the other hand, internet games (and other anonymous on-line interludes) are not uncommon in ANY relationship, and don't always lead to and aren't indicative of infidelity.
maybe so tito but it raises trust issues. Its not so much the chatting but claiming hes not married would indicate hes searching for something.
He may be searching for nothing more than an ego boost and a little adventure. Or, this may have been an existing online relationship he just didn't have the courage or motivation to end. That doesn't make it right but if I were you, I'd want to really understand what's going on before making any long lasting decisions.
Humans have weaknesses. Some have pornography issues that are viewed quite differently by one spouse than the next. Some are just looking for what they see as a harmless thrill. (not harmless, of course) If you both get to the bottom of it and then make certain he understands your thoughts and feelings on the matter, his subsequent behavior will tell you all you need to know.
There are all kinds of people and all kinds of marriage relationships. It's critical to know what you have in a partner and what you have in a relationship, then make informed choices.
we talking about "internet addiction" hereQUOTE(Jomo @ Jan 23 2008, 05:30 PM)
I would be so ticked off, I would confront him immediately. It is the one thing I will never tolerate. I wouldn't do it to him and I expect the same courtesy.
I have never been a violent person and never break or throw anything because I know I will just have to clean it up.But, when I found my ex had been chatting with women on the internet and looking at profile, I tore the place up!! And.....he cleaned it up. All his belongings were on the front patio a week later. Furthermore, the divorce was final 6 months later and he agreed to all conditions. And, this was after 24 years of marriage! No, there is never room for that kind of behavior in a marriage and no excuse for it. Send him packing. He will not change his behavior. And, never let a man have access to a business you worked hard to be successful. Sorry, love only takes it so far!!
QUOTE(BarbSami @ Mar 1 2008, 11:56 AM)
QUOTE(moody @ Feb 27 2008, 12:14 PM)
Exactly. The culture thing is a total cop out. Giving to the family is fine and dandy but hiding it is crap. Just total crap.
QUOTE(brnidokiegurl @ Feb 27 2008, 09:53 AM)
Your husband want to share the fruit of his success with his family, it's something it runs in his blood and you can't change it.
Beside, Tunisian man still consider that his wife should not interfere with what he give to his family
There is a correct way to do this shareing, he is married now. (period) this man needs to realize where he is now and here it is not considered interferring but a part of marriage to confide and share what is happening in their lifes, its not much of a marriage if one is subtracting from the pot and the other not knowing
Beside, Tunisian man still consider that his wife should not interfere with what he give to his family
There is a correct way to do this shareing, he is married now. (period) this man needs to realize where he is now and here it is not considered interferring but a part of marriage to confide and share what is happening in their lifes, its not much of a marriage if one is subtracting from the pot and the other not knowing
im glad im not the only one that feel this is a bunch of crap.if you love your family that much stay there with them and share the fruit of your sucess. Do not turn someoneelse life upside down with lies and unstability. I guess Tunisian men are the only one that love thier family. I didnt have a problem with helping his family but i think 22k in 5 months looks a lot like hes using me to take care of his family. Remodling his family home adding all new appliances and furnitureis a bit much at one time.
Barb
WOW 22K??? I do not know you Barb but be smart.... you need to quietly take care of yourself BEFORE you confront ANYTHING. Once you confront him he will get nervous and possibly try to do something even more drastic than 22k... YIKES.
It sounds as if you are able to take care of yourself - so use your head wisely - take a good look at the big picture - get YOUR life (bank accounts etc....) in line and safe before you confront.
This man does not sound like he is only "helping" his family it sounds as if he is supporting or possibly setting up a dowry or a home for a new wife -- like I said we do not know each other so I maybe coming off as very direct but I have seen things and lived through enough to know that you need to take care of your children (if you have any) and yourself first.
THe thing that really gets me is that I am sure his family (at least a good portion of them) are not working back at home in Tunisia ... so in essence you are getting up every day --- going to work -- if you own your own business then you are most definately working long hard hours .... and for what???? SO his family can sit on their A$$'S????
oh no i dont think so -- ok sorry to be so loud on this subject but it is somewhat close to discussions that my hubby and I have recently had (not the chatting part) but the money part and sorry i am a firm believer that I work hard for my money for my family (my kids and my husband) so we can enjoy life set up college funds for the kids, go on nice vacations .. not so we can live like paupers because we are supporting his family!!!
I dont know about anyone else --- but MY family here well they all work -- hmmmm what a concept huh?
OK - im done -- getting off the soapbox
Malarie
QUOTE(Malarie @ Mar 14 2008, 05:51 PM)
QUOTE(BarbSami @ Mar 1 2008, 11:56 AM)
QUOTE(moody @ Feb 27 2008, 12:14 PM)
Exactly. The culture thing is a total cop out. Giving to the family is fine and dandy but hiding it is crap. Just total crap.
QUOTE(brnidokiegurl @ Feb 27 2008, 09:53 AM)
Your husband want to share the fruit of his success with his family, it's something it runs in his blood and you can't change it.
Beside, Tunisian man still consider that his wife should not interfere with what he give to his family
There is a correct way to do this shareing, he is married now. (period) this man needs to realize where he is now and here it is not considered interferring but a part of marriage to confide and share what is happening in their lifes, its not much of a marriage if one is subtracting from the pot and the other not knowing
Beside, Tunisian man still consider that his wife should not interfere with what he give to his family
There is a correct way to do this shareing, he is married now. (period) this man needs to realize where he is now and here it is not considered interferring but a part of marriage to confide and share what is happening in their lifes, its not much of a marriage if one is subtracting from the pot and the other not knowing
im glad im not the only one that feel this is a bunch of crap.if you love your family that much stay there with them and share the fruit of your sucess. Do not turn someoneelse life upside down with lies and unstability. I guess Tunisian men are the only one that love thier family. I didnt have a problem with helping his family but i think 22k in 5 months looks a lot like hes using me to take care of his family. Remodling his family home adding all new appliances and furnitureis a bit much at one time.
Barb
Malarie,
Every word you spoke is absolutely true. Thanks
WOW 22K??? I do not know you Barb but be smart.... you need to quietly take care of yourself BEFORE you confront ANYTHING. Once you confront him he will get nervous and possibly try to do something even more drastic than 22k... YIKES.
It sounds as if you are able to take care of yourself - so use your head wisely - take a good look at the big picture - get YOUR life (bank accounts etc....) in line and safe before you confront.
This man does not sound like he is only "helping" his family it sounds as if he is supporting or possibly setting up a dowry or a home for a new wife -- like I said we do not know each other so I maybe coming off as very direct but I have seen things and lived through enough to know that you need to take care of your children (if you have any) and yourself first.
THe thing that really gets me is that I am sure his family (at least a good portion of them) are not working back at home in Tunisia ... so in essence you are getting up every day --- going to work -- if you own your own business then you are most definately working long hard hours .... and for what???? SO his family can sit on their A$$'S????
oh no i dont think so -- ok sorry to be so loud on this subject but it is somewhat close to discussions that my hubby and I have recently had (not the chatting part) but the money part and sorry i am a firm believer that I work hard for my money for my family (my kids and my husband) so we can enjoy life set up college funds for the kids, go on nice vacations .. not so we can live like paupers because we are supporting his family!!!
I dont know about anyone else --- but MY family here well they all work -- hmmmm what a concept huh?
OK - im done -- getting off the soapbox
Malarie
QUOTE(Malarie @ Mar 14 2008, 06:51 PM)
QUOTE(BarbSami @ Mar 1 2008, 11:56 AM)
QUOTE(moody @ Feb 27 2008, 12:14 PM)
Exactly. The culture thing is a total cop out. Giving to the family is fine and dandy but hiding it is crap. Just total crap.
QUOTE(brnidokiegurl @ Feb 27 2008, 09:53 AM)
Your husband want to share the fruit of his success with his family, it's something it runs in his blood and you can't change it.
Beside, Tunisian man still consider that his wife should not interfere with what he give to his family
There is a correct way to do this shareing, he is married now. (period) this man needs to realize where he is now and here it is not considered interferring but a part of marriage to confide and share what is happening in their lifes, its not much of a marriage if one is subtracting from the pot and the other not knowing
Beside, Tunisian man still consider that his wife should not interfere with what he give to his family
There is a correct way to do this shareing, he is married now. (period) this man needs to realize where he is now and here it is not considered interferring but a part of marriage to confide and share what is happening in their lifes, its not much of a marriage if one is subtracting from the pot and the other not knowing
im glad im not the only one that feel this is a bunch of crap.if you love your family that much stay there with them and share the fruit of your sucess. Do not turn someoneelse life upside down with lies and unstability. I guess Tunisian men are the only one that love thier family. I didnt have a problem with helping his family but i think 22k in 5 months looks a lot like hes using me to take care of his family. Remodling his family home adding all new appliances and furnitureis a bit much at one time.
Barb
WOW 22K??? I do not know you Barb but be smart.... you need to quietly take care of yourself BEFORE you confront ANYTHING. Once you confront him he will get nervous and possibly try to do something even more drastic than 22k... YIKES.
It sounds as if you are able to take care of yourself - so use your head wisely - take a good look at the big picture - get YOUR life (bank accounts etc....) in line and safe before you confront.
This man does not sound like he is only "helping" his family it sounds as if he is supporting or possibly setting up a dowry or a home for a new wife -- like I said we do not know each other so I maybe coming off as very direct but I have seen things and lived through enough to know that you need to take care of your children (if you have any) and yourself first.
THe thing that really gets me is that I am sure his family (at least a good portion of them) are not working back at home in Tunisia ... so in essence you are getting up every day --- going to work -- if you own your own business then you are most definately working long hard hours .... and for what???? SO his family can sit on their A$$'S????
oh no i dont think so -- ok sorry to be so loud on this subject but it is somewhat close to discussions that my hubby and I have recently had (not the chatting part) but the money part and sorry i am a firm believer that I work hard for my money for my family (my kids and my husband) so we can enjoy life set up college funds for the kids, go on nice vacations .. not so we can live like paupers because we are supporting his family!!!
I dont know about anyone else --- but MY family here well they all work -- hmmmm what a concept huh?
OK - im done -- getting off the soapbox
Malarie
QUOTE(BarbSami @ Mar 14 2008, 07:39 PM)
QUOTE(Malarie @ Mar 14 2008, 05:51 PM)
QUOTE(BarbSami @ Mar 1 2008, 11:56 AM)
QUOTE(moody @ Feb 27 2008, 12:14 PM)
Exactly. The culture thing is a total cop out. Giving to the family is fine and dandy but hiding it is crap. Just total crap.
QUOTE(brnidokiegurl @ Feb 27 2008, 09:53 AM)
Your husband want to share the fruit of his success with his family, it's something it runs in his blood and you can't change it.
Beside, Tunisian man still consider that his wife should not interfere with what he give to his family
There is a correct way to do this shareing, he is married now. (period) this man needs to realize where he is now and here it is not considered interferring but a part of marriage to confide and share what is happening in their lifes, its not much of a marriage if one is subtracting from the pot and the other not knowing
Beside, Tunisian man still consider that his wife should not interfere with what he give to his family
There is a correct way to do this shareing, he is married now. (period) this man needs to realize where he is now and here it is not considered interferring but a part of marriage to confide and share what is happening in their lifes, its not much of a marriage if one is subtracting from the pot and the other not knowing
im glad im not the only one that feel this is a bunch of crap.if you love your family that much stay there with them and share the fruit of your sucess. Do not turn someoneelse life upside down with lies and unstability. I guess Tunisian men are the only one that love thier family. I didnt have a problem with helping his family but i think 22k in 5 months looks a lot like hes using me to take care of his family. Remodling his family home adding all new appliances and furnitureis a bit much at one time.
Barb
Malarie,
Every word you spoke is absolutely true. Thanks
WOW 22K??? I do not know you Barb but be smart.... you need to quietly take care of yourself BEFORE you confront ANYTHING. Once you confront him he will get nervous and possibly try to do something even more drastic than 22k... YIKES.
It sounds as if you are able to take care of yourself - so use your head wisely - take a good look at the big picture - get YOUR life (bank accounts etc....) in line and safe before you confront.
This man does not sound like he is only "helping" his family it sounds as if he is supporting or possibly setting up a dowry or a home for a new wife -- like I said we do not know each other so I maybe coming off as very direct but I have seen things and lived through enough to know that you need to take care of your children (if you have any) and yourself first.
THe thing that really gets me is that I am sure his family (at least a good portion of them) are not working back at home in Tunisia ... so in essence you are getting up every day --- going to work -- if you own your own business then you are most definately working long hard hours .... and for what???? SO his family can sit on their A$$'S????
oh no i dont think so -- ok sorry to be so loud on this subject but it is somewhat close to discussions that my hubby and I have recently had (not the chatting part) but the money part and sorry i am a firm believer that I work hard for my money for my family (my kids and my husband) so we can enjoy life set up college funds for the kids, go on nice vacations .. not so we can live like paupers because we are supporting his family!!!
I dont know about anyone else --- but MY family here well they all work -- hmmmm what a concept huh?
OK - im done -- getting off the soapbox
Malarie
you need to istall spyware onthe computer and record chat logs and get them translated....it sounds really really bad
QUOTE(wahrania @ Mar 14 2008, 08:51 PM)
QUOTE(Malarie @ Mar 14 2008, 06:51 PM)
QUOTE(BarbSami @ Mar 1 2008, 11:56 AM)
QUOTE(moody @ Feb 27 2008, 12:14 PM)
Exactly. The culture thing is a total cop out. Giving to the family is fine and dandy but hiding it is crap. Just total crap.
QUOTE(brnidokiegurl @ Feb 27 2008, 09:53 AM)
Your husband want to share the fruit of his success with his family, it's something it runs in his blood and you can't change it.
Beside, Tunisian man still consider that his wife should not interfere with what he give to his family
There is a correct way to do this shareing, he is married now. (period) this man needs to realize where he is now and here it is not considered interferring but a part of marriage to confide and share what is happening in their lifes, its not much of a marriage if one is subtracting from the pot and the other not knowing
Beside, Tunisian man still consider that his wife should not interfere with what he give to his family
There is a correct way to do this shareing, he is married now. (period) this man needs to realize where he is now and here it is not considered interferring but a part of marriage to confide and share what is happening in their lifes, its not much of a marriage if one is subtracting from the pot and the other not knowing
im glad im not the only one that feel this is a bunch of crap.if you love your family that much stay there with them and share the fruit of your sucess. Do not turn someoneelse life upside down with lies and unstability. I guess Tunisian men are the only one that love thier family. I didnt have a problem with helping his family but i think 22k in 5 months looks a lot like hes using me to take care of his family. Remodling his family home adding all new appliances and furnitureis a bit much at one time.
Barb
WOW 22K??? I do not know you Barb but be smart.... you need to quietly take care of yourself BEFORE you confront ANYTHING. Once you confront him he will get nervous and possibly try to do something even more drastic than 22k... YIKES.
It sounds as if you are able to take care of yourself - so use your head wisely - take a good look at the big picture - get YOUR life (bank accounts etc....) in line and safe before you confront.
This man does not sound like he is only "helping" his family it sounds as if he is supporting or possibly setting up a dowry or a home for a new wife -- like I said we do not know each other so I maybe coming off as very direct but I have seen things and lived through enough to know that you need to take care of your children (if you have any) and yourself first.
THe thing that really gets me is that I am sure his family (at least a good portion of them) are not working back at home in Tunisia ... so in essence you are getting up every day --- going to work -- if you own your own business then you are most definately working long hard hours .... and for what???? SO his family can sit on their A$$'S????
oh no i dont think so -- ok sorry to be so loud on this subject but it is somewhat close to discussions that my hubby and I have recently had (not the chatting part) but the money part and sorry i am a firm believer that I work hard for my money for my family (my kids and my husband) so we can enjoy life set up college funds for the kids, go on nice vacations .. not so we can live like paupers because we are supporting his family!!!
I dont know about anyone else --- but MY family here well they all work -- hmmmm what a concept huh?
OK - im done -- getting off the soapbox
Malarie
QUOTE(BarbSami @ Mar 14 2008, 07:39 PM)
QUOTE(Malarie @ Mar 14 2008, 05:51 PM)
QUOTE(BarbSami @ Mar 1 2008, 11:56 AM)
QUOTE(moody @ Feb 27 2008, 12:14 PM)
Exactly. The culture thing is a total cop out. Giving to the family is fine and dandy but hiding it is crap. Just total crap.
QUOTE(brnidokiegurl @ Feb 27 2008, 09:53 AM)
Your husband want to share the fruit of his success with his family, it's something it runs in his blood and you can't change it.
Beside, Tunisian man still consider that his wife should not interfere with what he give to his family
There is a correct way to do this shareing, he is married now. (period) this man needs to realize where he is now and here it is not considered interferring but a part of marriage to confide and share what is happening in their lifes, its not much of a marriage if one is subtracting from the pot and the other not knowing
Beside, Tunisian man still consider that his wife should not interfere with what he give to his family
There is a correct way to do this shareing, he is married now. (period) this man needs to realize where he is now and here it is not considered interferring but a part of marriage to confide and share what is happening in their lifes, its not much of a marriage if one is subtracting from the pot and the other not knowing
im glad im not the only one that feel this is a bunch of crap.if you love your family that much stay there with them and share the fruit of your sucess. Do not turn someoneelse life upside down with lies and unstability. I guess Tunisian men are the only one that love thier family. I didnt have a problem with helping his family but i think 22k in 5 months looks a lot like hes using me to take care of his family. Remodling his family home adding all new appliances and furnitureis a bit much at one time.
Barb
Malarie,
Every word you spoke is absolutely true. Thanks
WOW 22K??? I do not know you Barb but be smart.... you need to quietly take care of yourself BEFORE you confront ANYTHING. Once you confront him he will get nervous and possibly try to do something even more drastic than 22k... YIKES.
It sounds as if you are able to take care of yourself - so use your head wisely - take a good look at the big picture - get YOUR life (bank accounts etc....) in line and safe before you confront.
This man does not sound like he is only "helping" his family it sounds as if he is supporting or possibly setting up a dowry or a home for a new wife -- like I said we do not know each other so I maybe coming off as very direct but I have seen things and lived through enough to know that you need to take care of your children (if you have any) and yourself first.
THe thing that really gets me is that I am sure his family (at least a good portion of them) are not working back at home in Tunisia ... so in essence you are getting up every day --- going to work -- if you own your own business then you are most definately working long hard hours .... and for what???? SO his family can sit on their A$$'S????
oh no i dont think so -- ok sorry to be so loud on this subject but it is somewhat close to discussions that my hubby and I have recently had (not the chatting part) but the money part and sorry i am a firm believer that I work hard for my money for my family (my kids and my husband) so we can enjoy life set up college funds for the kids, go on nice vacations .. not so we can live like paupers because we are supporting his family!!!
I dont know about anyone else --- but MY family here well they all work -- hmmmm what a concept huh?
OK - im done -- getting off the soapbox
Malarie
you need to istall spyware onthe computer and record chat logs and get them translated....it sounds really really bad
I don think theres anyone that can really know ones intentions. I trusted him and trust is very important in any relationship or marriage. I didnt meet him on the net i met him i person here is USA. We dated 2 years before we married. Right now im working on a plan to destroy him. I will give it to him like he gave it to me he wont see it coming.
Barb
[/quote]Im not scared it could happen to any woman here or in the world. If I should be scared we all should be scared. There was no red lights.
I don think theres anyone that can really know ones intentions. I trusted him and trust is very important in any relationship or marriage. I didnt meet him on the net i met him i person here is USA. We dated 2 years before we married. Right now im working on a plan to destroy him. I will give it to him like he gave it to me he wont see it coming.
Barb
[/quote]
I'm very sorry to hear of your situation. Please ensure that you are physically and financially safe from your SO. Your plan to "destry him", and "give it to him like he gave it wo me, he won't see it coming"...is very disturbing. Please ensure you are free of this person, take a step back, and try to move on with your life. If need be, see a professional to help you work through this. Nothing...NOTHING comes from destroying someone else to get back at them. You may put your very own safety and freedom at risk.
QUOTE(wahrania @ Mar 14 2008, 08:51 PM)
you need to istall spyware onthe computer and record chat logs and get them translated....it sounds really really bad
um, no, she does not. that could very well be against the law.
QUOTE(mox @ Mar 9 2008, 02:38 AM)
QUOTE(Dylan @ Mar 8 2008, 07:27 PM)
Now that you have the overwhelming consensus that his behavior is wrong. the question remains WHAT DO YOU PLAN TO DO ABOUT IT?
If I were you, the first thing I would do is to move all your money out of your joint account, then I would confront him about his spending and online infedelity.
If I were you, the first thing I would do is to move all your money out of your joint account, then I would confront him about his spending and online infedelity.
Ressurect old posts much?
What are you the internet God of protocol or something? Did the OP sew this topic up because it seems uncompleted to me?
QUOTE(BarbSami @ Jan 22 2008, 03:11 PM)
Im not new here but rarely post and i hope i dont sound too dumd or rambling. He goes,
I found out yesterday that my husband has been chatting online with another girl. He told her hes not married but we have been married 4+ years. When i question him about it he thought someone had told this to me, in reality i found his chat log and i read the whole conversation he had with her. It hurt me too bad and now im wondering whatelse has he lied about. Also we own a business and he send lot of money back home without my knowledge. Anyone else has had this happen or happening to them.
Barb
I found out yesterday that my husband has been chatting online with another girl. He told her hes not married but we have been married 4+ years. When i question him about it he thought someone had told this to me, in reality i found his chat log and i read the whole conversation he had with her. It hurt me too bad and now im wondering whatelse has he lied about. Also we own a business and he send lot of money back home without my knowledge. Anyone else has had this happen or happening to them.
Barb
Hi Barb,
How are you doing this time? Hope your doing great!
About your situation, it is sad to learn that your husband had been chatting with another girl.
First, You don't have to get angry or sad on that matter, chatting on internet is just a fun thing
not real, your husband maybe bored, or maybe your too busy for each other, i guess all you need to
do is to think of a good date and invite your husband for a sweet dinner, get him back and focus to you
before its too late and complicated.
Remember you are married for 4 years, there is nothing to worry about, stop thinking bad things about
your husband, you have made it that long because you love each other and when you think something fishy
that would i can consider unfair to your husband. All you need is communication, understanding, a little perks
or shall we call spicy in life, don't mind it in short.
Just stay cool, i know you love your husband so just do the best and if there is any looser in the end it would
be your husband, he doesn't know what he is loosing.
You have a good heart and take care of it, don't let brake for something your not sure of.
, so better think positive and smile always!!:-)
Take care talk to u soon...++ciao Mercy
QUOTE(stevemercy @ May 23 2008, 09:36 AM)
QUOTE(BarbSami @ Jan 22 2008, 03:11 PM)
Im not new here but rarely post and i hope i dont sound too dumd or rambling. He goes,
I found out yesterday that my husband has been chatting online with another girl. He told her hes not married but we have been married 4+ years. When i question him about it he thought someone had told this to me, in reality i found his chat log and i read the whole conversation he had with her. It hurt me too bad and now im wondering whatelse has he lied about. Also we own a business and he send lot of money back home without my knowledge. Anyone else has had this happen or happening to them.
Barb
I found out yesterday that my husband has been chatting online with another girl. He told her hes not married but we have been married 4+ years. When i question him about it he thought someone had told this to me, in reality i found his chat log and i read the whole conversation he had with her. It hurt me too bad and now im wondering whatelse has he lied about. Also we own a business and he send lot of money back home without my knowledge. Anyone else has had this happen or happening to them.
Barb
Hi Barb,
How are you doing this time? Hope your doing great!
About your situation, it is sad to learn that your husband had been chatting with another girl.
First, You don't have to get angry or sad on that matter, chatting on internet is just a fun thing
not real, your husband maybe bored, or maybe your too busy for each other, i guess all you need to
do is to think of a good date and invite your husband for a sweet dinner, get him back and focus to you
before its too late and complicated.
Remember you are married for 4 years, there is nothing to worry about, stop thinking bad things about
your husband, you have made it that long because you love each other and when you think something fishy
that would i can consider unfair to your husband. All you need is communication, understanding, a little perks
or shall we call spicy in life, don't mind it in short.
Just stay cool, i know you love your husband so just do the best and if there is any looser in the end it would
be your husband, he doesn't know what he is loosing.
You have a good heart and take care of it, don't let brake for something your not sure of.
, so better think positive and smile always!!:-)
Take care talk to u soon...++ciao Mercy
Mercy,.
Thanks for your very kind reply. You are indeed a wonderful person
Barb
What a jerk, cut his B A L L S off! 
QUOTE(BarbSami @ Jan 22 2008, 05:11 PM)
Im not new here but rarely post and i hope i dont sound too dumd or rambling. He goes,
I found out yesterday that my husband has been chatting online with another girl. He told her hes not married but we have been married 4+ years. When i question him about it he thought someone had told this to me, in reality i found his chat log and i read the whole conversation he had with her. It hurt me too bad and now im wondering whatelse has he lied about. Also we own a business and he send lot of money back home without my knowledge. Anyone else has had this happen or happening to them.
Barb
I found out yesterday that my husband has been chatting online with another girl. He told her hes not married but we have been married 4+ years. When i question him about it he thought someone had told this to me, in reality i found his chat log and i read the whole conversation he had with her. It hurt me too bad and now im wondering whatelse has he lied about. Also we own a business and he send lot of money back home without my knowledge. Anyone else has had this happen or happening to them.
Barb
I'm sorry to hear about your pain and your problems. It's now become a "trust" issue. If he is doing this now, how do you know he won't do it again. Or continue what he is doing now without your knowledge.
Marriage is based on TRUST. I have been in your shoes and it didn't work out. My suggestion is to find a good lawyer and be ready for the worst. PROTECT YOUR ASSETS. . . your HOME, BUSINESS, AND BANK ACCOUNTS. Be ready for the worst. If he is sending money without you knowing, is it possible he is sending the money to her? Hire an investigator to find out what exactly is going on. Perhaps it is nothing . . . and perhaps it is something. DON'T WAIT. It is easy to bury your head in the sand and think it will work itself out. It won't. Once you know the truth from the investigator, you will know how to proceed. And then you can confront your husband about it.
I hope everything works out for you!
God Bless You!!!
Robert
Marriage is based on TRUST. I have been in your shoes and it didn't work out. My suggestion is to find a good lawyer and be ready for the worst. PROTECT YOUR ASSETS. . . your HOME, BUSINESS, AND BANK ACCOUNTS. Be ready for the worst. If he is sending money without you knowing, is it possible he is sending the money to her? Hire an investigator to find out what exactly is going on. Perhaps it is nothing . . . and perhaps it is something. DON'T WAIT. It is easy to bury your head in the sand and think it will work itself out. It won't. Once you know the truth from the investigator, you will know how to proceed. And then you can confront your husband about it.
I hope everything works out for you!
God Bless You!!!
Robert
QUOTE(Wilfe and Robert @ May 24 2008, 05:20 PM)
I'm sorry to hear about your pain and your problems. It's now become a "trust" issue. If he is doing this now, how do you know he won't do it again. Or continue what he is doing now without your knowledge.
Marriage is based on TRUST. I have been in your shoes and it didn't work out. My suggestion is to find a good lawyer and be ready for the worst. PROTECT YOUR ASSETS. . . your HOME, BUSINESS, AND BANK ACCOUNTS. Be ready for the worst. If he is sending money without you knowing, is it possible he is sending the money to her? Hire an investigator to find out what exactly is going on. Perhaps it is nothing . . . and perhaps it is something. DON'T WAIT. It is easy to bury your head in the sand and think it will work itself out. It won't. Once you know the truth from the investigator, you will know how to proceed. And then you can confront your husband about it.
I hope everything works out for you!
God Bless You!!!
Robert
Marriage is based on TRUST. I have been in your shoes and it didn't work out. My suggestion is to find a good lawyer and be ready for the worst. PROTECT YOUR ASSETS. . . your HOME, BUSINESS, AND BANK ACCOUNTS. Be ready for the worst. If he is sending money without you knowing, is it possible he is sending the money to her? Hire an investigator to find out what exactly is going on. Perhaps it is nothing . . . and perhaps it is something. DON'T WAIT. It is easy to bury your head in the sand and think it will work itself out. It won't. Once you know the truth from the investigator, you will know how to proceed. And then you can confront your husband about it.
I hope everything works out for you!
God Bless You!!!
Robert
Thank You so much Robert. You are absolutely correct it is a trust issue. All your advice is well appreciated and I have been preparing myself but I feel that what he did was the worst one could do to someone whom they claim to love and share a life with.
God will see me through this and I'll be fine.
Thanks and God Bless You, Too
Barb
Hi Barb I was just browsing and came across your thread. The thing is internet cheating is still cheating and the fact that he had to lie about it suggests something is definitely amiss. He is being emotionally unfaithful to you and that is still cheating.
I hope you have sorted it out the situation by now.
I hope you have sorted it out the situation by now.
QUOTE(warriorprincess @ May 25 2008, 04:59 PM)
Hi Barb I was just browsing and came across your thread. The thing is internet cheating is still cheating and the fact that he had to lie about it suggests something is definitely amiss. He is being emotionally unfaithful to you and that is still cheating.
I hope you have sorted it out the situation by now.
I hope you have sorted it out the situation by now.
warriorprincess,
I am not the one to brush it off as, maybe he was lonely or it is just the internet. I have read here that some met each other by the internet. For me to assume this was harmless would make it seems that I am out of reality. This is my life I am talking about. There were zero signs I guess my only mistake was trusting him. Im not comparing anyone situation to mines . If my husband doesnt like me sharing my story with others it seems like a personal problem of his.
How would he feel if it was me doing these things? As far as Im not being fair to him by postig here, posting here is nothing compared to what he has done to our marriage. I have no symphaty for him and Im not the bad guy here. Maybe in some way my pain can save someone else from the pain I have inside.
My posting here is not to cause problems for anyone but it helps me breathe. To me cheating is chatting to one of the opposite sex thats not innocent. This was not innocent. The strangest thing was i wasnt looking for any of the things i found.
Maybe God wanted me to know b/c I had not had any reason to thik he was doing things like this.
Emotionally Im not good, but Im trying very hard to make the best decision to secure me.
There are some very kind hearted and understand people here. I wish you all the best and may life gives you all your hearts desire.
Barb
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