I am the us citizen and married a mexican citizen over 3 years ago. I have paid all the immigration fees and just filed the I-751. over the last year I feel like he has changed towards me and I feel i was taken by a very good actor, we are still together but the romantic man I married si not the man who came to live with me. he has become extremely controling talks about americans in a very negative way. I feel so betrayed right now, and need him for paying our bills. He hates my adult children and has told me as much. I am currently out of work and am soon to have a second surgery on my shoulder. I know that we will be splitting up in 6 months.
has any other us citizens been betrayed. i fell hard for him and am on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

one heartbroken marinemom

I'm sorry for the heartache you're going through, and no offense, but what does the fact that he immigrated here having anything to do with the trouble you're going through
?

Hello Marinemom,

I am so sadden to hear your news. Yes this has happened to several women in the African Sub Sahara portal and have read it many places. The control and abuse starts as soon as they feel their journey has completed. Its hard to accept that someone can't appreciate you at least for the financial obligation you have made to their Visa process. He picks fight to eliminate the guilty feelings of making the move to leave. If you two are fighting the conflict is used to hide the real purpose of his departure.

You are in my prayers.

i don't like conflict and it seems he looks for problems. he alway has some sort of negative comment about everything isay or do. it has gotten to the point that i either am afraid to talk to him or i just don't say anything to him. he has always told me to just tello him to leave and that he doesn't need his green card. now that i am not working he is really mean to me and controling. he went to mexico for the holidays and i told him to weigh his happiness and not to come back if he is happier in mexico. he came back last week and has been mean and indifferrent. i had to ask my parents for money for groceries because he bought groceries only for himself and not for me. he also showed me a new pair of boots he got in mexico and told me his girlfriend bought them for him, he then patted me on the back and said thanks for the green card. I think 4 years ago he was trolling for someone to use and he found me, a nice person he could charm.

Just wanted to say I'm so sorry
Find comfort in your family and friends.

That is beyond cruel and nothing but pure arrogance on his part . My heart is sad for you and I am so sorry to read that your husband treats you this way.

If you just recently filed the joint I-751, and really feel as if you have been deceived, then request that your endorsement on the joint petition be withdrawn, but do it quickly.

I'm sorry that you are going thru hell with this man - I hope that you will get out of this unhealthy relationship as soon as it's possible and if you can withdraw your joint petition as Mermaid is suggesting you should - this man doesn't deserve to stay in this country...

Take care of yourself and be safe

Love the pictures on your profile, very nice!

EXACTLY!!!!

Ditto

I'm sorry to hear this . I agree with those that tell you to withdraw your endorsement.

I am so sorry that you are going thru this, my heart goes out to you

In Spanish, the "term of art" would be, "justificacion", or a state of affairs that makes life so miserable, the ends justify the means. In other words, I have no idea about the past, but at this point in time, the person just does not want to be with you for whatever reason, and that's a shame, but rather than take responsibility for his actions, decisions, motives, and circumstances, he goes about creating the misery to justify a departure from the relationship.

But since you've been together 3 years, it's not really clear that his motive was simply to get a green card...and the nasty things he might be saying now about it could certainly be viewed as part of the "justificacion".

Truly sorry about your situation...I hope it will improve soon. But your counterpart is certainly no prince, and one might say he's quite the coward for going about things as he is rather than being honest. That's called, "descarado".

I'm very sorry to hear about your situation

Saludos,
Caro

You can't really know that. There are many aliens that would be inclined to stay in a marriage for 3 years, if it meant they'd get the "golden egg" afterwards.

I know...that's why I said, "it's not really clear that..." But think about it. Prior to 3 years of marriage, there is courtship...the process to get the immigrant here...then preparing for marriage...THEN marriage. And the poster is talking about 3 years or so later. I don't think it's right to put this on the immigrant after all that. If the situation is 1 year...maybe 2 years...but really, if the motive is that transparent, they're gone within a year, or as soon as they get their, how you say, "golden egg." Certainly, the process for a green card would or should ordinarily start just after the marriage, otherwise, the K-1 will have expired, and the immigrant would not have any legal status. But to stick around for 3 years if their motive was to leave once they got their green card? I don't see it.

Well, perhaps you don't see it, but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen that way. If an alien is intent on gaining residency, and that is his or her prime motive through marriage, it is not all that far-fetched for the alien to "tolerate" the marriage for just as long as is necessary to jump over the last residency hurdle, right? After AOS, a divorce does not preclude an alien from removing conditions from the GC, if the couple had commingled financial obligations and held themselves out as husband and wife, but think, for a moment about a situation where one of the parties, the alien, enters the marriage for all the wrong reasons = the "golden egg". Wouldn't he or she want to assure that his or her case has sufficient time in before revealing the prime motivation? And also, don't you think that in such a marriage, chances are that there isn't the open or willing exchange of assets from the alien? After all, he or she does not plan to remain in the marriage a moment long than is necessary to achieve PR.

In summary, no, I think you have it all backwards...remaining with the petitioner just long enough to submit the joint I-751 (especially at a time when a large number of jointly-filed applications are being adjudicated without an interview) is a perfect scenario for a case of unilateral fraud, where the alien has an agenda unknown to the USC.

I agree.

Sorry to hear about your troubles.




To this is always hard to digest for me too. But, I have seen it happen over and over again. Some of these men are extremely patient!

Im so sorry this happen to you.

unfortunately, even if you do request not to sponsor your fiance, there is a way that he can still stay here, if he gets a attorney with low morals that will help him. Please become familiar with the I-360 this seems to be the most current way aliens are gaining permanent residence I find that many both male and female throughout this world are very familiar with this.

Your not alone, my ex-husband did the same things but then he tried to prepare himself by calling the police telling lies, lived in a homeless shelter etc.

My ex-husband is a medical doctor from Nigeria, I didn't see it coming , but like you said the man I accepted his proposal wasen't the man that I married and lived with for 11-months, now I feel sorry for any Americans that he may treat as a doctor here in America.

'Although I removed my I-485 there is a way for him to file on his own behalf, the I-360 and even tho I'm sure he didn't have proof of abruse it looks like they are moving foward with PR for him.

Not to worry tho, you'll be alright after a WHILE God will deal with him, just as God will have his revenge on my ex.