Haha yes he was for about 5 minutes. Haha just kidding. He is much happier now that he is in NY, even though we miss eachother a lot (except for right now bc we are together in NY as I speak). He is glad that he can go out with his friends here once in a while, and he gets excited when he hears other Albanians speaking on the train or walking in the street. There really are a TON of them in my mom's neighborhood, and I never noticed before. I think I assumed they were Russian, weird.

It's the AC that kills us as it is too hot most days to open the windows!! We leave it off as often as we can though but it hit 96 again today so the AC is back on.... AND that is with a discount because of all the wind turbines in the area

As for cable/internet - we're with Time Warner and the deal was cable/internet/phone but the phone is cr@p and we don't use it as we use vonage to call the UK and everyone here in the US. Thing is, the deal without the phone cost just as much anyway so... it's a bit silly really

I'm so sorry we won't be able to make it to the party!
Eric is working crazy hours A LOT and already told me to not bother him with ANYTHING for the next 2 weeks. :/
plus our medical bills with blow up the budget for the next 3 months in advance. i feel lost!!!!!!

Other than that I'm doing fine. I decided to start looking for jobs. I want and need to make more money.

Our biggest expense is rent, followed by food and dental bills. Rent here is ridiculous, we could live cheaper, but then you need a gun to get the mail at night. And the Exterminator every 4 weeks.

All utilities are included in our rent, so it isn't THAT bad, but still bad enough *sigh*

I'll get the mail (without gun) now and bring out the trash.

Happy Tuesday to everybody!

Hello everyone. Sorry to have been away so long. I have been trying to catch up - not happening! There has been so much going on with all of you.

I hope that everyone is adjusting well. I'm happy to hear how the adjustment period is going. Better? Worse? What do you think of us Americans? How about the state of this economy?

Awww - well maybe you can make New Year's Eve if you are back from Germany? We'll miss you!!! We're thinking of taking some time to go on a short road trip before I get a job - probably at the beginning of next month so we might end up heading out your way Either that or we'll head up to Northern Cali or NV maybe...


AUDREY!!! How have you been?! Settling in ok here - it's been tough but it's getting a little easier. Still waiting on my EAD so have lots of time to kill. Have put on a bunch of weight and really need to lose it but otherwise all is well!!!

That is so great to hear. Adjusting has been hard for both of us as well. I'm not sure if the age difference is the key or there is such a cultural difference. What do you think? I think he is in complete denial of being homesick. He claims that he is not - but how can't you be? I would be. We just take one day at a time. Do you have cultural differences?

Sometimes but mainly our issues are around our different upbringings - Jeremy grew up moving from place to place with very little money. The trailer he lived in with his aunt is the most disgusting hole ever although she has made some effort to tidy it - it is pretty gross. I am used to having seen my mum struggle through poverty but make something of herself and I find it hard to understand why Jeremy's family can't do the same - he has managed it himself...

Also money is a kicker - I like spending and I like being in control of my money but without a job I can't be - I ask Jeremy if we can afford something and he says "yes" - the next thing I know, we've maxed out the credit cards and have late fees, over limit fees, overdraft fees... etc etc... at least the bills aren't being "forgotten" like they were one month!!! So yes - there are teething problems but we work through it It's one thing loving someone from a distance, but we have to learn to live together now and we're getting there... slowly!!!

Yes, we are too. Our struggles are more over his negative (cynical) attitude about America. I hate that I have to defend America when I don't necessarily agree with everything we do here. I get very defensive and I am working on it and he is also working on not being so negative. He is also not a TV person and I love TV. And he also doesn't like 1/2 the food that is here and I love my food. We're working on it...

Same here!

My personal opinion is that cultural differences exist no matter if one admits to them or not. I think Canada and England are two of the most similar cultures to America, so if we have them, it seems everyone must. Even if lots and lots of things are really similar (especially compared with cultures that are vastly and obviously different), there are always little things, and even these can be hard to adjust to when you're facing all of them at once. In fact, for us, sometime we have to consciously remind ourselves that we do indeed come from different countries -- maybe ours is different b/c we share a land border too. I'm sure healthcare is a big one for a lot of people who are used to better/different systems.

But for me and Scott, I'd say our adjustment just to living together has been really smooth, as this is the second time we've cohabited, and I've tried to correct some of his evil male ways (like not cleaning ) that I knew existed from the first time we lived together. Money has certainly been a different issue, though, as the first time around he didn't have to support me (and couldn't have if he'd wanted to). Me having to support Scott has certainly been different -- and now I've got some lovely credit card debt and some issues to go with it that are new for us, but we're working through them. It really is easier being together, for us. When we were apart everything was just *so hard*.

Yeah - some people even said that it can be harder for people moving from the UK and Canada as they expect things to be so similar that the differences hit them harder. Coming from a country where even the language is different means that you have to prepare yourself for a lot of major changes, including even speaking differently so these people expect the differences.

Also I think age is a factor. As you get older, you can become more accepting but at the same time, you get used to things and get set in your ways. My mum's partner (66 or something) is a lovely, gentle man. Yet you get him talking about immigrants into the UK and it's "Paki" this that and the other and all black people have issues with race and try and play the racism card to get what they want!! Yet he knows and likes people from Pakistan and other areas of Asia and knows and likes people who are black as well!!! I think sometimes it is a mindset that is hard to get out of rather than a set-in-stone attitude that truly affects how other people are treated...

Did any of that make sense?! I guess I am trying to say that while my mum's partner can come across as racist due to generalised statements about people from other cultures, it's just stereotyping in the worst way as he doesn't have any personal problems with people from other cultures - it's like a bad habit or something!!! And before I have anyone jump down my throat, I do not condone what he does at all - I hate it personally, but I can understand that it is just a perception he has.

And Rae - I agree with you about things being easier together. And the CC debt Sure, we fight from time to time, but then we did that from a distance as well And it is much easier to make all the bad stuff go away with a hug

Thank you - It helps to know that we're not the only ones. Indeed, we are both set in our ways - that's for sure. Me probably more so than him. He's happy to let things go the way I want them. And for him, being 63 and helping to help care for my 7 and 9 year old daughters is purley amazing to me. He helps with their homework, does all of the cleaning and laundry, gets their breakfast in the morning so I can get ready for work. The only thing I do really is the cooking. We have our boundaries now because when he started doing "everything" I didn't feel there was anything for me to do. I love keeping house and it's my bit of therapy. So, he now understands when I pick up a broom and start cleaning that he doesn't get defensive. One day at a time.

I have taken on a Brownie Troop in my neighborhood and it is very rewarding. I have 14 girls - age 7-8 - it's so much work but I'm loving it - they are great kids.

Other than that, work has been very very busy as our business is expanding and are looking forward to hiring more help. I am ready for an assistant. Too bad I can't hire Phil.

I have a question,..I just recently graduated June 2008 and I have to file form I-864 for Affidavit of support form my husband..I just recently started a part-time work and will start my 2nd job next week as full time..I have 3 co-sponsors along with their incometax return forms copies..is this ok if I can't show any incometax return yet?? I got a letter from my employer stating that I got the job for full-time,and I got my 1st paycheck from my part-time job. I am sending xerox copies of these..Is this enough?I really can't show anything about tax return yet>>>

Just thought I'd jump in with a wee update. Since my parents went home Monday I've been missing them a whole lot. It's like all the homesickness came rushing back. Been trying to keep myself busy job hunting. Just missed out on a good one I would have been guarenteed by maybe 2 weeks. It's through a friend of the mother in law and I would have been working out at sthur museum where we got married. BOOOO!!!!! On a more positive note (well positive for me not sure about the rest of NE), my father in law has given me a buick for when I get my licence so I can get around. It's fairly old and not amazing with really high mileage but it's clean(ish) enough and it goes. Used to be my edest sister in laws before she went away to college.

My parents brought me so many yummy things from back home. 4 packets of hobnobs, 2 packets of milk chocolate digestives, the biggest bottle of HP I've ever seen, some butter tablet and several large bars of proper cadbury's. We also ate out ever night they were here so I have the serious need of going on a diet. So the sooner I get a job and stop walking to the kitchen for a coffee (they also bought me an espresso/cappucino machine to keep me out of starbucks) and several hobnobs the better!!!!!

Aww Debz - I am soo glad you had a nice time and I think it is always going to be hard to say goodbye again - it is the one thing I am dreading when my mum comes to visit. But maybe next time you'll be going back to Scotland

Pity about that job but I am sure there will be something even better coming along And great news about the car as well! We can only afford one car so I am going to be cycling - it might restrict where I can look for jobs but hopefully I'll be able to cycle instead which will be good

In other news, Riley is licking a tamale corn husk Weird cat...

guess who got 25% fired on friday?
*sigh*
ohwell, i never liked that job anyway. I'll use the 2 hours each day that i will leave early to apply for better jobs.
they told me that the economy was too bad and that they weren't making enough business. ohwell. but there is always enough money for the whole family to buy brand new cars this weeks. i HATE people who are so filthy rich that they use perspective.
my boss told me, that she was not getting her bonus anymore, trying to show me, that she was taking cuts, too. well, that cuts her salary from 35000 PER MONTH to 30000 PER MONTH. oh i feel SOOO sorry for her!!!!

Hello fellow July peeps!

Been a bit, but had to check in and get some advice. So Matthew and I had our green card interview finally last friday. We show up at the place well early, have copies of everything you can possibly think of to document our marriage and then some in hand. We get called into the office to meet with Officer S, and he asks us a few questions about how we met, how the marriage was going, who was at our wedding, what we both do for a living, etc etc. He asked for any updated financial information to add to the file. I had my employer write a new letter of employment verification - just to be thorough - dated last week as well as my 2008 teacher contract so I hand that over to him.

Then he says, alright guys, do you want the good news or the bad news???ummmmm......seriously?? okay, I guess lets get the bad news out of the way. so he says, well, this NEVER happens, but it appears that they lost Matthew's immigration/entry packet at the airport customs office when he entered the country last January on his K-1 visa. you know...that 'mysterious' brown envelope that is delivered from the embassy that has all your immigration info, your medical exam, your sponsor's info, etc etc....yeah, they lost that one! although Officer S can tell he had it when he entered the country because someone took the official sticker off of it and put it in his file to document that he entered the country with all of the proper paperwork, they just aren't sure what happened to it from there. he said this NEVER happens and proceeded to explain how the file gets split up to the different offices for AOS and then put back together for the final interview phase and that 99.9% of the time all of that works out just fine. In fact, poor Officer S is just baffled by what could have happened to it since the USCIS office here in Seattle gets daily deliveries from the airport customs down the road and from that official sticker in Matthew's file, he knows it was here, they just don't know where it is now.

at this stage in the interview my heart is pounding waiting to hear what all this means to us. Apparently your entire life is in that mysterious brown envelope. Luckily I was so over prepared at the interview, I had copies of everything he needed to replace from it EXCEPT Matthew's medical exam. soooooo, the Officer says to us, we have a choice here. Since we are the ones who lost it, you can have us continue to look for that paperwork (although he has apparently been trying to track it down for the last 3 weeks since our file landed on his desk - not to mention it has not been found in the 7 months since we filed AOS) OR we can go have another medical exam done. ARE YOU KIDDING ME???

So I say, well, can't we just call the embassy doctor in London who did the original medical and have them fax you a copy? and he says no, you have to have a new medical done here in the US because the embassy doctor in London is not an approved Civil Surgeon here in the US. I say, well, you know he passed his medical because he was granted an interview, and allowed to enter the country - isn't that good enough?? not to mention we have the I-693A form we submitted with AOS verifying all of his vaccinations sitting right there in front of us, and he again says no, we have to have the actual medical paperwork in his file. At this point I say, well I won't allow you to vaccinate him again, he got all those shots only 9 months ago, and he says that's okay, we know he has those because we have the I693A form, he just needs all the rest of it done again.

So here is the kicker....WE HAVE TO PAY FOR THE MEDICAL EXAM AGAIN!!!! WTF?? Even though it is their mistake, our health insurance will not pay for an immigration exam, and Officer S thinks they are still running around $400.00 to have it done (we paid just over 250 pounds in London in January to have the first one done). I am SOOOOOO ANGRY! they admit its their mistake, they know he passed his medical the first time, they have proof of the vaccinations, yet we have to do this all over again at our expense. not to mention the other stuff that was 'lost' in that paperwork included absolutely every detail of our lives - financials, names, addresses, employers, SSN, parents info, etc etc...you guys know all of the info you had to submit to sponsor your fiance for the K-1 visa - well of that was in the file that they 'lost'. I feel violated and so angry I am barely able to contain it right now. at the very least I think they should provide us with some sort of voucher to cover the cost of a second medical exam.

Of course the longer we put this off the longer it will take to actually get the green card in our hands, so I don't think we really have a choice here. Of course 'the good news' was that we are approved for a green card - pending a new medical. In fact Officer S is so sorry about what happened he is keeping our file on his desk and having us send the new I-693 medical form directly to him at our local office so he can approve the green card the same day he receives it. at least there is that - I guess.

Sorry this is so long - and sorry for any mistakes, I just don't have the energy to read over to edit!

Does anyone have any advice here?? do I have any recourse?? He did say we have done everything right in this process and was glad I was so organized and had extra copies of everything we have ever submitted to replace what was lost. I am SO PISSED. I think I will contact my congressman, but it is that wise until this is resolved?? should we jump through the hoops first and get the green card and then raise holy hell??

Oh and the kicker....we have to have the new medical done, at our expense, in 4 weeks, or face possible deportation.....

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Sara

Ohhh hun - they were always @$$h0les to you anyway so tbh you are prolly better off having the extra time to look for a better job - you've never really been happy there so although the cut in income is not exactly helpful, at least you can try and look at the positive Just think - there is a much better company out there that actually deserves you and your abilities who aren't complete d!cks

Sara - I commented on your other post but that does truly suck. I would try and take it further if you could but I don't know how far you would get with it

I have a grumpy husband again. He's been trying to find a registration code for a character he used to have on a game and he can't find it anywhere. It is driving him absolutely nuts which in turn is driving me nuts. I kinda wish we could have some space right now so he could get a grip and peace could reign again!!!

farking farking FARK, History; that is just putrid
just reading over your account of it all, above, got my blood boiling, and it isn't even happening to me!

I just don't understand the reasoning there - the paper from the UK doctor would have been sufficient, if they had retrieved it from the packet (as they should have done), but a faxed copy of the EXACT SAME DOCUMENT isn't valid? what the hell? that just makes NO SENSE whatsoever... and yes, I know we're dealing with USCIS here, and they make not-making-sense an art form, but this is a whole new level

I think if it were me I'd ring everyone I could think of... I know politicians all have other things on their minds right now, but maybe start with them...? get some publicity... and maybe ring USCIS and go as far up the chain as you can get, asking to speak to supervisors, and lay it out in as clear terms as you can, making it sound as nonsensical as you can (as it is!)? I don't know what to say about it... I mean, in the end paying again is a small price if it means you avoid deportation, but bloody hell! it shouldn't come to that; they should be able to cover issues like this when THEY'RE the ones who stuffed up!

sorry I can't be of more use; hopefully my sympathetic anger is something at least

sara, I'm so sorry! This crap leaves me speachless. But I doubt that there is a whole lot you can do about it, without delaying the GC. USCIS just really sucks.
Your package is probably still at the POE, somewhere underneath some trashpile in the corner *sigh*
I'm so sorry!!!

I agree, that situation sucks and would make my blood boil. But my advice would be not to fight it. It SUCKS. It's like saying, go ahead, f*ck me in the arse. I'll even smile while you do so.

I think fighting it would take a lot of time, and seeing as how they've put a time limit on it, you don't have a lot of time. I also think it would be a HUGE headache, and you likely still would end up getting the extra exam. You know you are in the right, they messed up... but as with many things in life, you are the ones who are gonna end up having to fix it. I just don't think there's any way around it. Maybe you could call your congressperson, but at the same time, go ahead and get the extra exam.

Poopy.

thanks everyone for having a good rant with me. I just think this particular display of USCIS incompetence and lack of organization, etc is totally stunning - to say the least. At this point in our process, I think little would have surprised me, but this screw up sent me sideways.

I spent an hour calling the approved 'civil surgeons' in our area and finally found one for less than $400.00 - that's the other thing that gets me....how come the huge price differences?? seems to me that USCIS probably gives these places a certain stipend or something to be an approved civil surgeon - and they are all performing the exact same exam and service - why the difference?? I mean - I was quoted differences of up to $200.00 dollars - for the same thing. Is this what free market health care would look like??? there should be a standard fee...well I guess I should say - there should be standards - period.

so - we are going to suck it up and do the exam as I agree with everyone here that there is no way around it that will be pleasant - or in our favor for that matter. and I want that green card safely in hand so we can move on with our lives. However I fully intend to follow through with my senator once we have the green card in hand. We hear so much about illegal immigration in the country - I just want to scream what about LEGAL immigration?? maybe if this process were not such a nightmare - so ineffective, incompetent, inaccessible, expensive, discriminatory, and very confusing (I have a Master's Degree and have struggled to understand/meet all of the overlapping, contradicting requirements), we would not have such an illegal problem??? or is that just crazy talk!?!

I am the most pissed at 1) the loss of all of my personal information - not to mention that of my family. talk about prime identity theft - you could not ask for anymore info about Matthew or I - not that there is ever that kind of corruption in the government that I should worry! and 2) the added time and expense to repeat something we have already spent the time and money on! this process has cost us thousands of dollars - which we would gladly do again, but I often think of immigrant families who are not educated, well-employed, professionals with supportive families. A hit like this might be more than some families could afford and might end a 2 year long process in a deportation even after they have done everything right - if they could even afford the trip home - you know???? I mean, what if they had lost the file on a family of 4 or something.....can only imagine what that would cost!

grrrrrrr

Sara

SARA.....I'm reeling on your behalf. I actually shouted at the PC which somewhat startled my mother in law...told her your situation and she walked away mumbling profanities (now she is a good christian woman which just shows). oooo I'm so angry. That is just no good, it's rediculous...you need to take it further. I'd be writing angry letters to everyone. Well i'd be getting my mammy to. She is the queen of angry letters and has done many on my behalf with an excellent success rate of refund, money back and freebies. (including getting 800GBP wiped off my credit card debt).

My turn...OK. went to SS office. Handed them old ssn card, passport, marriage certificate and EAD card. They processed it all fine but then said I have to wait 3-4 weeks whilst they confirm my name change with immigration. EEEERRRRM. doesn't my k1 with photo and maiden name then EAD with photo and married name plus marriage certificate already confirm!!!!!!

Applied for job today at my kitties vet office. Kennel and animal care assistant. Not great money but bearable job in nice enviroment with nice people. Just happened to mention I was looking for work when I was there this morning with my land lady and her St. Bernard (135lb woman taking 114lb resistant dog to vets...she needs help)

THIS

I got a job interview on Monday for that job above. Put in application 2 hrs ago and they just called and said come in monday 8am for a working interview, wear old clothes. They do on the job interview as they can't tell how you interact with animals just by talking to you. WEEEEEEE so excited. Wish me luck.

Yaaay CONGRATULATIONS!

Gratzies again!! Hehehehe That is such awesome news!!

Sorry to hear that Agnes Now I bet they want you to do exactly the same amount of work just in less time and for less money I wish for you to find something better soon

Sara that really sucks! If I were in your place I'd get the medical done first and after he gets his GC try to get the money you had to spent on it back from them. The price is really strange. We did the whole medical here for $165.00 so try to call a few more doctors if you can. Or come visit us here You get the medical cheaper and the rest of the money you would have spent in your area you can spend on the plane ticket and have a nice trip

Julez After very serious consideration we decided not to call our little boy Julian Hope you won' t get too angry

Debz good luck with the interview

Aly, does Jeremy need to eat more chocolate cake? Sometimes it helps

That's great debz!! Congrats & good luck!!!



Obviously, I'm very sad, but I'll somehow get over it!

So, what names do you have in mind now that Julian is off the short list?

Alystair!!

i hate applying for jobs.
lots.
*sigh*

Ugh - I know what you mean - at the moment I don't feel so bad about the prospect of it but I know that the novelty will soon wear off when reality hits

HUGE HUGE HUGS!!!

You'll get through it - you're a bright, intelligent woman and anyone should want to snap you up in a second, then you can say a big F*** You to those yucky people

funny enough they really tried to show us in the last few days how sorry they are, by feeding us, and giving us gift cards to restaurants and stuff. *sigh*

jeremy is at work tonite?

Yup! I have the house to myself along with the kitties Just contemplating dinner mmm

So the people where you work started being nice?! Isn't that typical? Maybe they just feel guilty and it won't last Nice to make the most of it while you can though!!

I wish I had kitties, as well. feeling lonely here lately.
hope we'll go grocery and pumkin shopping later. i really want to make a pumkin-thingy.

Hehe - well neither kitty is anywhere to be seen right now so they aren't always company! And when you are on the computer and they try and "help" you is cute at first but can get annoying!!!

We've bought our pumpkins already - we have two that we are going to carve tomorrow when Jeremy gets home from work ready for the party!! I have carved them in the past but not for a looong time

Alystair?

LOL!! Marta - what have you done to your name?????!!!! I wondered who on Earth had posted!!

And yes - you should call your little boy Alystair if you aren't going to call him Julian

Or maybe StillTheHandsomest?

But that might imply that one day he might stop being the handsomest Alystair is not a name, is it?

'Alastair' is... Aly's just altered the spelling for her own porpoises

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!!!!


Just to make this day even more terrifying for Nebraskans (especially those around Grand Island) I have my driving test today. Did written part yesterday and passed. Got driving part today. Biggest problem is that I've only driven the car around a parking lot last night for about 20mins. Not so worried about the actually driving it's the fact that because I'm on the otherside of the car my spacial awareness is thrown off when it comes to parking. Plus it's a much bigger car than my mazda sport I had back home.

OMG Debz! Good luck!

Griff drives here all the time, but is taking a few driving lessons just to make sure he's OK before his test. Should be next month. he took the written a few weeks ago, and in NY you have to take a 5 hour class where they talk to you about defensive driving and show you scary movies. Really aimed at spotty 17 year olds, but required for all who are getting licensed.

here in Tejas I can drive for a year on my Australian license (which I thoughtfully had renewed, remotely, from London, when it was about to expire last year; I was supposed to have swapped it for a UK one after a year there but as I never drove I never saw the point )
so I'm living it up and by the time the test comes driving here will be old-hat... was weird when I first started though, and I hear you Debz about the parking

well just been for a practice. test is in 35 mins.

you'll be fine

given some of the people who I see driving around here, I think they just give licenses away

I know, my test was a joke. The examiner answered her mobile three times during it!

Oh Debz!! Good luck hun!! I am still in wuss-mode and haven't driven at all but there is good news on the car horizon - Maven is hopefully going to have the paperwork when she comes to the party tomorrow so it will all be sorted out soon!!! Then I have to bite the bullet and stop being such a wuss I swear - I know I will be fine but I just worry so much about everything and I've always been a nervous driver - seeing some of the idiots on the roads here hardly fills me with confidence

well........I passed!!!!

Gotta go get halloween party sorted.

Gratzies hun!! That's great news!!! Was it very different from the UK one?

Hallowe'en party is tomorrow for us but have spent all day sorting things out so that I only just had lunch!!!