Yea, the small, personalized shops is something that I miss the most about NYC. I also miss being able to walk everywhere. Let's not get started on this list though, it will just make me depressed.

Adriano's English is coming along nicely although his attitude hasn't changed much. He still hates it, and I really don't know what to do about it.

well, to be blunt - he may just have to suck it up...

I don't like the PLACE I'm in all that much - I'm making the best of it, as I've noted before, and of course I'm so glad to be with Dave at last, and all that - but I don't think I'm ever going to love it, or even like it all that much... but there are reasons for me being here, and I made the decision knowing those reasons, and why I was giving up everything I had in London, and it will benefit no one to keep bemoaning the fact

so while I miss London terribly - some times more than others, like right now when my best friend just had a baby - I just have to grit my teeth and smile and BE HERE; there's no law saying I have to love it, but it will be of greater benefit to me and my mental health - and Dave's - if I don't dwell on that all the time

so likewise: Adriano may always dislike it where you are
but he's there for a reason too

oh, and what I meant to say in that post and didn't -

you shouldn't feel guilty about him not loving it there either; it's got everything to do with what he's used to, and what he's not used to, and you can't magically make it all great for him... obviously you can make SOME things great, the personal things, but you can't change the place, and you shouldn't feel bad because of that

xx

Agreed. I don't like where we are living, but I try really hard to make the best of it and focus on the positive. I wish he could think more like you, and just accept that he is here now, and realize that what is out of his control, is simply that. I know it's hard for him too though. It's a tough situation.

Thanks for the post though, it made me feel a bit better, I must say.

thanks so much for putting it in words, STP, that's exactly the attitude we need!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ah, and on the bright side, please see the new line in my signature!!!
FINALLY today we received the interview notice!!! august 20!!!!!


i hope everybody has a great, positive and loving weekend!!!!


FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HUGS!

Oh my gosh, I just noticed I have a heart!




Maybe I should change my name thingy then....


hahaha, look at that, I quoted myself. Twice!

You only *just* got pet peeves?! I have a list as long as my arm In fact I had a really good moan about it last night - silly things. Like I mean I don't mind doing the laundry and putting it away and washing up the dishes that can't go in the washer and things like that. What annoys me is when he moans about how I leave soap on the dishes (well he never complained when they were dry and he couldn't tell) and how he leaves a big pile of dirty clothes all over the house instead of putting it in the basket (I know he likes to alternate outfits but that should still mean that he only ever has one shirt and one pair of trousers by the side of his bed at one time... as for there being two pairs of boxers... well I would HOPE that he wouldn't wear them again ) So I have plenty I am sure he has plenty for me as well, but the house is still in disarray and we haven't lived together for two years so we just b*tch and talk it out and I figure with time and patience things will eventually fall into place

As for citizenship... well I haven't even got my teeth into printing the AOS forms and after Jeremy's bank charged him TEN TIMES for going overdrawn when he hadn't even gone overdrawn to start with... well, let's just say that this week's paycheck went into the gas tank so we can't even afford to buy food, let alone AOS *sigh*

All in good time I guess...

At least he finally closed his bank account with cr@ppy BofA like I've been telling him for YEARS.


That's great news!!! Also we need to make plans for next month - not sure what you want to do about meeting up - you want to head up to Sedona? It's really beautiful If not then I can talk to Jeremy about taking a detour via Tuscon... of course then I would want to visit Tombstone as well so...

My news of the week (aside from bank charges!) is that I should be able to get my SSN tomorrow/Tuesday!!! Is it exactly two weeks from entering the US or is it an inexact science?


You should change your name thingy

peeves - if i would start on this topic, this would become the longest post in VJ-history
let's put it in one sentence: if i wouldn't work fulltime and bring in exactly as much as he does, i wouldn't mind taking care of the house-chores as much - but as i work exactly the same hours for exactly the same paycheck i really don't see a point of being his maid. unless he pays me for it.


@aly: which weekend in august?
let's make plans! it's freaking hot out there in summer. tombstone is great in the evenings when all the saloons and bars are open and the tourists are gone!!!!! LOVE IT!
do you guys have a phone number i could call so we can make plans over the phone and chat about peeves and about the good old times in old europe? otherways i could try to get yahoo messenger running on my laptop and we could chat with via our fingers

Yippee!! I'm on yahoo messenger all the time (unless I am in linux) but as soon as my own puter is sorted then it will be a permanent fixture - have to reboot into windows in a sec anyway You have my e-mail address, right?

Well the "official" day of our wedding is 8th which I believe is a Friday - maybe we could come back down to you for Saturday night and spend the evening in Tombstone? Obviously I'd have to run it all by Jeremy (after our bank charges nightmare we are kinda strapped for cash ) but we will defo be able to sort things out... I mean our savings are in the UK and I have my credit cards from the UK still

Oooh - it sounds so exciting!

How did that meetup go btw? We met up with a couple of people on Friday and had a lovely time We sat in an open air cafe bar and listened to live music with a few beers - it was really nice

@ Aly and Tuscon Chick: Ditto on the maid comments. We argue about this ALL THE TIME because most Albanians tend to be about three decades behind the rest of us when it comes to gender roles. I understand that his mom is a stay at home mom and cooks and cleans to perfection (and any other married women he knows back home, also does all the house work, regardless of whether or not she works), but I am NOT a stay at home wife. I cannot stress this enough to him, and he just doesn't get it. It is especially annoying right now because I am the only one working (even if its only part time), and yet I still have to do 95% of things around the house too. It is a lot of him telling me that he will change, and if I cook he will clean the dishes, but he just never does it. He does cook about half of the time, but he never cleans. That is definitely my number 1 pet peeve. Everytime I bring it up he says 'It's not that hard, I don't see the big deal'. My response is 'Yea, it's not hard for you because you aren't doing anything!!!!!!!' I just don't get it.

I don't mind doing the cleaning and things right now while I am not working, but it is the fact that he can't just pick up after himself - like if you use a dish, instead of leaving it festering in the sink for three days, just clean it!!! He had four empty cans on his bedside cabinet because he couldn't be bothered to move them and I am sure it isn't that hard to throw his dirty laundry across the room so it even lands vaguely near the basket so I know it is dirty!!! If he cooks then instead of putting things in the dishwasher as they are no longer needed, he lets it all pile up so we'll have a nice meal and then one of us (invariably me cause I can't stand to leave it) will have to tidy it all up - he's quite happy to just leave it there though!!Grr...

I think just the way he has grown up (in trailers with one bedroom despite having a brother and sister as well as his mom living there) has had a big impact on things and it is just breaking him out of bad habits. He doesn't want to live like it but he doesn't realise what a state it is until I point it out!!!

I hear ya!!

Whoo Hoooooooo!!!

*** DO NOT RESPOND TO THIS E-MAIL ***

The last processing action taken on your case

Receipt Number: MSC**********

Application Type: I485 , APPLICATION TO REGISTER PERMANENT RESIDENCE OR TO ADJUST STATUS

Current Status: Card production ordered.

On July 12, 2008, we ordered production of your new card. Please allow 30 days for your card to be mailed to you. If we need something from you we will contact you. If you move before you receive the card, call customer service. You can also receive automatic e-mail updates as we process your case. Just follow the link below to register.

Don't have to deal with USCIS again for a couple of years.

It is not an exact science. We waited exactly 2 weeks just to find that Scott wasn't in the system and now we're waiting an additional 4-6 weeks on top of that.

For all you ladies with the housework complaints: I don't think it's *just* a cultural thing (although I'm sure that certainly can also play into it); I think it's largely just an old fashioned male / female thing. This is the number one complaint I know of among ALL of my female friends who are married or living with their partners. It was also my #1 complaint the first time I lived with Scott. It is supremely frustrating when you are the one working outside the home AND inside. I don't know what it is with most guys, that they've had their mothers pick up after them their whole lives, or what, but I just know that this is something almost all of us deal with and complain about. Personally, it's not something I'm willing to accept, so I say keep nagging. Scott used to tell me he hated me nagging him b/c it's behavior that reminded him of his mother, and I said, well that's easy, clean things, and I won't nag you. But I don't know how to fix the problem. I would just say, don't let it rest, and don't accept it. We've come a long way as women (not all the way, mind you, but our options are certainly better than our mother's or grandmother's), but then things can still be so imbalanced in this area, it's so messed up! It really peeves me.

Fantastic news, Gillian!!!! Congratulations!!!!!!

Stupid it is, but that´s the way it is Luckily I have many many more other things to be happy about

Hey Lisa Stop by more often

Agreed Suck it up Adriano and stop bothering our Susie Life´s a journey and it´s not like your life ended right there just cuz there isn´t enough Italian/Albanian speaking peoplein your area You might end up back in NY after Susie finishes her school

Congratulations to the interview Agnes That´s great news

Same goes to Gillian It must be really nice to be finished with USCIS for a few years

We don´t seem to have any pet peeves. It´s probly cuz we have already worked them out. I am sure you´ll work it out too. I agree if something bothers you you shouldn´t just leave it or it will never stop. Unless you wanna get used to it. In that case you can leave it

Yeah it´s not an exact science. Our SS office told us after 2 weeks that the waiting period is 30 days...not 14

This weekend was lots of fun again. I went to a bridal shower and it was really nice. And I won something We also did some gardening with our cute nephews and looked at baby stuff in the baby store with the Auntie-to-be and with Granny and had yummy bbq

It looks like when I post something on this thread, it doesn´t appear on the recent posts page anymore. Why? I don´t know if it appears when someone else posts

boys and dog went home yesterday so here I am, free as a little birdie
except the one downstairs in a cage...



some good news in this thread while I was gone! congrats you guys with good stuff happening

my news - filed for my SSN last week, which was a bit of an adventure (went COMPLETELY astray on my way there; I didn't ever get lost, exactly, but I just couldn't work out where to go, even though I had a map, and a journey of 20 min turned into an hour ) - but when it was finally my turn the girl was really friendly and helpful, gave me no hassles, and I should have the card within a fortnight
yes, late, I know, but it's done now

also - went to a training day for English volunteer tutors, and was VERY impressed by the organisation, and can't wait to start
it's reasonably close to home, and there's a good possibility that I can tutor even closer to home, so that's good... I can do small groups of ESL (4 - 5 adults), or one-to-one with English-speaking adults who need to improve their written literacy
I think I'd like to do a bit of both
and since I now know the way to Dave's work, I can drive him in the mornings if I want, and then have the car for the day
though I don't know that we'll make a habit of that as it doubles the petrol usage
but at least it's an option

and in more fun stuff - have been having a BLINDER with cooking; everything I try seems to come out wonderfully, which I'm still pinching myself over
did a fish thing on Friday night, with cous cous, which was the bees knees... and we got all adventurous yesterday evening, and made some Indian paratha bread using a recipe we found online, and it was bloody excellent, and we ate it with Indian dips while watching SeaChange, and told each other how very clever we are


as for the other stuff you've all been discussing -
we're really quite sickening, as we have no pet peeves either
give us time; we might develop some, but it's all been pretty plain sailing so far... we're both pretty good at communicating calmly, so any tiny things tend to stay tiny, and don't get all blown up into silliness
and at the moment, with me not working, I'm happy to do all the housework, and Dave is VERY appreciative of same... I quite enjoy most of it, and he doesn't, so it works that way too (and he's still raving about how great it is to have dirty laundry magically reappear, all washed and ironed, in his cupboard, so I feel quite valued )

plus, if I do a bit every day, I often end up with free time, like now, to chat to all you fine people

You have been here for almost two months now...time really flies

Congrats Gillian!

STP, you have a boy downstairs in a cage??

We had some good news today too. Got the NOA1s for all 3 AOS thingers. I was worrying (I'm sure for nothing) b/c it seemed people who filed on similar dates were getting things faster and nothing had shown up. So I was pretty happy to see those letters today. We also got the appointment letter for biometrics, and of course, it's scheduled for the time we'll be out of town next week, in Vegas at my friend's wedding. I hope it won't be a giant hassle to get it rescheduled, but I assume that as with most things in life, it probably will be. That's okay, still feels like forward progress. And I definitely like being able to check the status online again! Though it's weird, turns out our 129f had a touch in early February, which isn't around anything we were doing for it. I wonder what that was about.

It shouldn´t be a problem to reschedule. I didn´t reschedule and just came there a day before and so they did me a day before

No kidding? That's interesting. I have this feeling, though, that the NYC office is gonna be more busy & strict. Of course, I have no idea. We'll just wait for the next letter telling us when to come in, I suppose, since we can't go in any time next week.

I don´t know if any offices are busier than the ones we go to since it takes them reaaally long to process our stuff But if you have time this week, you can try to stop by and see if they do the biometrics or not Basically we did it like that because they sent us the appointment letter really late and it said if we wanted to reschedule we had to send them the letter back or something like that and they would reschedule but the letter wouldn´t make it there by the time the date of the appointment and the paper said if we didn´t appear for the appointment they would consider the applications abandoned. So we just drove there

Julez Did they buy it?

We've had 5 couples look at the house so far, with another tonight and one more on Thursday. Since we're not there when the prospective buyers are looking, we have no idea of what they think of the place. Our realtor did speak to one of the realtors who showed it last night and she indicated that her buyers were interested and need to think about it. Big purchase and all that. I do hope it sells quickly!

I hope so too Then you can do more work on your new house Then you can go for a massage

we should all schedule massages for the same day and then show up in here all blissed out

But I need a table with a hole for the belly

you can have a shoulder massage

though if I keep making banana bread as great as I did today, I'm going to need a table with a hole in it for my belly, just on a regular basis

Massages for all sounds wonderful! Who's paying???

.... long silence

We are all great cooks and need a hole for the belly

I haven´t seen Aly today. I am suspicious that she is just watching TV cuz she doesn´t know how to turn the internet on

Well said, sistah! I hate the word nag, especially that it is basically a word solely used when referring to women. It's like when I have a complaint about something, I am nagging and it's not something that he considers to be a big deal. Somehow when he has a complaint, I have to listen because it's apparently very serious and suddenly legitimate. Grr.

HOLD THE PHONE! I think I hear him cleaning the sinkful of dishes that I purposely left with the hope of him noticing and cleaning them (this tactic usually doesn't work, but it's worth a shot).....no, no...the water stopped running, false alarm. sigh.



Yea, you said it Marta!!! He has a job interview tomorrow though, let's all cross his fingers that it comes through!! I know it would definitely give him a bit of a boost. I am going with him to the interview to help with translating, hopefully I will do a good job of selling his skills. =]

I want to go back to NY too once I finish, but for now I am hanging ten here in South Bend. Although, there is something very appealing about San Francisco or Portland, Oregon to me. I like that you are able to walk around the city and use public transportation. NY is great, but I think any NYer can admit that it can be a bit overwhelming at times, and the longer I am there, the more I feel the need to escape and take a break. I think a smaller city, with some of the elements of NY that I love so much, would be a nice compromise.

English Muffin - Greatest congrats!!! That is very exciting that you will get the card soon, but even more exciting that there's no more uscis for a lil while!! wahoo!!!

StP - That is a really great thing that you are doing with the ESL and literacy tutoring. A wonderful way to spend your time while giving back to those who need it. Kudos to you.

Oooh, Susie, I love Portland too! I only spent 2 or 3 days there but I wanted Scott and I to move there after we'd lived in NY for awhile. Their public transit is great (and free downtown), everyone's so much more environmentally conscious, they have a cool art scene... I dunno, I just fell in love with that place! But Scott wants to be in Canada. At least Portland isn't too far from Vancouver and has some of the same elements; hopefully I will fall in love with it there. I think SF is also a really great city, totally unique and with its own character, but part of my wanting to escape NY someday is that I can't afford to own a home here, and SF's got the same expensive housing problem. After living in Indiana for a few years, you're gonna be like, they want HOW MUCH for a one bedroom?!?!

Oh, and good luck on the interview!!

Yay!!!! Gratzies Gillian!! So quick as well! I don't know if I want mine to turn up that quick or not


Well I managed to apply for my SSN yesterday so it should be with me in two weeks - yippee!! We also got a joint bank account (savings) and I got a new checking account too. So did Jeremy as he closed his BofA account after they screwed us out of $300 - still going to take that further so if anyone has any bright ideas...

As for the cleaning thing, I think it is just that Jeremy has always lived in places that are a) filthy messy and c) dirty. He's lived in a tent, on sofas, in trailers, RVs... none have been particularly well kept and so it is just that he is not used to my standard of living - he'll get there, if only because he wants to make me happy


Wow StP - you sound like the veritable little housewife!! We are so not as settled as you! We still are severely lacking in the furniture department (although I have seen a garden table and chairs set in World Market that I love ) and our gas has just been turned off because Jeremy didn't ever get it changed into our name... Of course, while I was freaking about all the things I had to do for the move, he was meant to be setting up the utilities... it seems the only one he actually did was the electricity... I guess I should count my blessings though as not having aircon would be hell on earth

So right now we can't cook unless it involves a microwave or toaster. If anyone has any genius ideas here as well then that would be kinda cool... We haven't gotten into a proper eating routine yet either - I want to go out and really do a proper shop for all the food we need but we just can't afford it right now as things are really tight - we found out that cause Jeremy closed his bank account, his pay is going to have to bounce back before he can get access to it as it has already been processed - so no paycheck this week...


Ohhh that sounds bliss As for who is going to pay - well isn't that what our respective partners are here for?!?!?! Even better, we should arrange a VJ July Filers Spa Day!! Ohh wouldn't that be awesome?! A nice day at the spa, followed by a lovely meal somewhere... mmm... Palm Springs anyone?! We have spas and lovely restaurants


Awww - you will have to have a special one - they must make them!!!


I can work the internet - it's the TV that is the issue!! Jeremy gets Mondays and Tuesdays off at the moment though so I tend to not get online so much then It's our weekend... of course "hump" day is Friday and today is "Monday" Booo!!!

Do you have a coffee pot? A lot of things can actually be made in one, although they aren't made for it. I remember my Freshman year of college when we weren't allowed to have proper kitchen things b/c the suites didn't have kitchens, I made all kinds of things in my coffee pot.... Then again, at that stage in my life, "cooking" meant "Rice a Roni".

K so really I guess you just have a good excuse to order pizza.

Ooh Rae - I am sooo glad you said that We got pizza last night though and we are sooo poor right now - we are dipping into our savings more than we wanted but... it is a good excuse to eat out... thing is that gets expensive and we can't get reconnected with gas until next Thursday

Saying that, there is a really nice looking Italian place I wanted to try... When we get our website in a state that I can easily edit it, we are going to review all the places we eat at because there are sooo many to choose from!!!

All of the things you mentioned about Portland are things that are high on my list of priorities, and reasons why I am attracted to places with those general characteristics.

Yea, I would love to buy a house in NY but unless you are a millionaire, you are restricted to the suburbs and judging by the mentality of us both, i would say that is the exact opposite of where we really want to live...i have also thought about the high price of living in SF, its basically the same as NYC, which sucks...its a nice thought though

I wish I could afford a one or two family brownstone, that would be my dream house.

And yea, I am paying here, for a spacious one bedroom with W/D and central air/heat, LESS than I paid for my tiny bedroom in boerum hill, which was in an apartment that I shared with two other people and two other cats besides my own!! Needless to say, there was no W/D, NO CLOSET, nor any AC at all....It's quite the change, but I definitely do miss it. I miss being able to walk down the street and go to wonderfully delicious ethnic restaurants with ambiance that only big cities can provide...I also miss being able to walk, well anywhere.

Aly, you've still got a fridge, right? given the weather, it's a perfect excuse for lots of different salads
do caprese... fresh mozzarella with roma tomatoes, splashed over with balsamic vinegar and with shreds of fresh basil
or a nice smoked salmon salad with rocket (arugula to all you heathens ) and capers

the sky's the limit, really

and if the budget's tight, use the same basic ingredients - get a big bag of baby spinach as the base, for example, and buy loads of roma tomatoes and carrots and celery and whatever - and then just splash out on a few things (dressing, or the salmon, as mentioned above, or whatever) to make it different every time

just a thought

ah, aly, you guys living in a unfurnished apt without even kitchen?
our little house (1BR) is unfurnished, but it has a little kitchen.

there are MANY microwave meals! rice noodels you can soften in hot water and add asian space paste over it

about visiting in august: that plan sounds awesome! we'll have collegues of eric's over for dinner on the 8th, and then on the 9th we could go to tombstone! SOOO excited!

do you guys drive the car a lot? one tank of gas lasts 3 weeks for us. (as long as we don't go on roadtrips and stuff)

Mmmm - sounds good - meant to pick up a bag of spinach from Trader Joes as it was cheaper than Stater Brothers maybe could find some pine nuts and pesto as well... that could be yummy


Jeremy drives about 20 miles to and from work so 40 miles a day - he has an old 95 Ford Econoline so the 5l engine kills us with gas but we can't afford to change the car at the moment - go figure... it's a high priority for us but we just can't get the capitol right now and I'm not sure how well we would do on finance... something else for us to look into post-weddingy thing

Well our plan is this: We are driving up to Flagstaff on the Thursday (7th) so we can get our license early the next morning (anyone know if they just print it there and then? We're getting married early on the 8th!!!). Then we are heading into Sedona, getting married, chilling out, going out for a meal and staying there the night. We are hoping to drive down to Tucson/Tombstone the following morning aiming to get there in the afternoon so the 9th sounds good for food and drinks! You know if it would be better to stay in Tombstone or Tucson? Either way, we drive back towards Cali, prolly on the I-8 the following day and will stay overnight somewhere on the way

W00t!! Mini four day road trip!!! Anyone else in the area who'd like to join us in Tombstone?!

double-check on the license thing... here in Texas you had to have it at least three days before (or was it two? in any case, there was a short wait til you could use it) and then it expired within 30 days... DO find out early; it would be awful if your plans were scuppered due to something so silly

plans sound EXCELLENT

I am such a moron and didn't read my own post so thought you were talking about a driver's license

Well we did send an e-mail so watch this space but on the court website it says there is no wait and that it can be done immediately. We've double checked to find out if we need to book an appointment or just show up and as Jeremy so loves, we are cutting it fine (I'd prefer to get there a day early really but...)

Ah well... these things have a way of working out and with everything going so crazy and messed up right now we are due a little good karma

Gosh I havent been on here in forever! October at least.

Married on May 1st and just enjoying life. Popped back on here to see the status of some of you. My Hubbs - Ryan, thinks that we will be able to go back to England for Christmas this year. I told him not to get his hopes up as he just had his biometrics on July 2nd. What do you all think?




...also I dont know how to update my timeline thingy. dont really know how to use this site at all!! hahah

Ugh, I know, I am dipping into my savings WAY more than I'd anticipated and much faster. But... at least both have savings to dip into, I guess. Today is actually the first day I've worked since *May*, which to a large extent explains why we've been burning through money faster than I'd hoped! But I have to say, spending the time with Scott, after 3 years of being apart, is worth it, completely. Whenever I start stressing about money I just think about that.

I can't believe you have to be without gas for a whole extra week. That's totally unacceptable! I mean, are they *that* busy connecting gas all over California that they can't get to your apartment quicker? Craziness!


Hahaha, you know, there certainly must be something magical about NYC if people here are happy and willing to put up with no closets! Before Scott came and I lived by myself I had a 2BR and every time a potential roommate would look at it they'd be like, wow, look at all the closet space! Which by "normal" standards was still a bit on the small side!

I do find everything here is a big compromise. I tend to complain about the ridiculous things you have to give up (like, um, no closet ), but you also certainly do get a lot in return. I love walking around the neighborhood and the feel that it has. I love all the different ethnicities and culture and just everything. I love that I feel like everyone here has a drive and a lot of ambition and creativity. I love everything except the ridiculous expense! My own brownstone would also be a dream come true, but, you're right, you have to be a millionaire to afford one.