your ss card should say 'valid for work only with dhs authorization'

the 'dhs authorization' to which the card is referring, is in fact, your temp work stamp located on the i-94. without the stamp, you have no 'dhs authorization' and therefore are not authorized to work.

i hope i helped solve that little mystery.

see told ya

Any sign of your AP or EAD yet Marta?

*searching, searching, looking around*

nope

They said EAD should be worked on on July 29 or sooner and although I am out of processing times for AP by 8 days now, there is nothing they can do. I should wait 30 days but better 45 (I guess depends on the mood) and then maybe they can do something

I never realised shipping was such a nightmare!! Why can't it all just be teleported to my new address so I don't have to deal with this BS?!?!?!! One company told me I needed an SSN to use them ( ), bunches of them want to charge me a ridiculous amount for packing cartons and I am now looking at around £600 for about 15 banana boxes of books, games, shoes and clothes... Did anyone else have such a nightmare or do I just have an excessive amount of stuff?! And I threw a ton of my stuff out as well - I don't envy people moving furniture too...

*sigh*

Other than that, I have put my back out so can't lift anything heavy, can't do anything unless I am in pain and I am fed up and want to just get it all over and done with - I wish someone could just magic me there and sort out all this crap for me.

Rant over. I think I need to go lie down again now.

having done the shipping thing twice, from two different countries, I am FULL of sympathy over how crap it can be

*patting*

*providing with biscuits*

*and coconut rum*

*swigs rum from the bottle*

*washes down with bottle of rose*

Well I have Pickfords coming tomorrow and I am about to have their children if they tell me they can just pack it and ship it door-to door - I am getting to the point now where I don't care which is cheapest, as long as they take care of everything.

At least my "this time next week" mantra is a little more peaceful now... This time next week I will be chilling out and having a swim and organising our new home and going shopping... well - once I get out of bed as West coast is not even 6am yet

Pickfords packed and shipped door to door for me
AND they were the cheapest

plus they had very scrummy removal men, who were extremely friendly and helpful to boot

Sorry to hear about your troubles Aly I promise I won´t poke you in your back for a while Hopefully it will heal soon. Flying across the ocean with back pain would be no fun.

ALY

We really need to start friday night zinfandel again. Although at the moment I'm becoming more of a pool side margarita girl. Also got a new non alcoholic addiction....starbucks cinnemon dolce latte frappacino!!!

I can sympathise with the moving. I still don't have all my stuff here. I have a lot of boxes at my parents as couldn't afford it all at once.

most of my stuff, including all my furniture is still at my parents. just too expensive to ship it.
i am so homesick, its not even funny. today is the first day i really regret moving here. its scary to admit it, and i would never have the guts to tell eric, but i really do regret it.

Oh hun that sounds awesome!! We totally have to do that again - once I am there and you have the net set up then we can get on instant messenger and kick our OHs out and chat non-stop!! At the moment though, every night seems to be some kind of wine night - Jeremy is being very patient but it is taking at least two glasses just to get me to sleep >< Ah well - once I move I can sort myself out Something non-alcoholic sounds good - totally need some kinda detox And to lose some weight.

Still don't know if I will get back in my dress tomorrow night


Oh hun - you should talk to Eric about it - what would the possibility of you moving back be? Give it a bit more time - it hasn't been all that long and things will take a while to settle down - I am not expecting to feel totally comfortable for about a year - maybe longer Besides - I have to come visit you in August so you're not allowed to go back to Germany just yet

Oh - and the whole purpose of this exercise was to reacquaint myself with StP's budgie's name - my mum got a bird for her birthday yesterday (aren't us kids great?!) and I had a weird thought they had the same names...

Ok - I just checked and the names are totally different... I think this move is driving me crazy....

Finished packing suitcase number 2 today and suitcase number 3 is almost done as well... waiting on Pickfords to come give me a quote this afternoon... Excess Baggage called and were going to e-mail me a quote but I can't get into my e-mail which is really annoying

Calmed down for the moment - just really really really want to be there now so I can chillout and forget about things for a while

Ok - calm moment has passed - am going to opt for mid-afternoon wine soon as am sooo p*ssed off with this shipping BS. Pickfords just quoted me £975 with insurance and I just want to know what on earth I have done to get such high quotes - I mean I have no furniture, it's just a bunch of boxes with books and crap in.

I just don't know what to do now - I budgeted about £500 for this thinking that would be more than enough and now it looks like there is no way on earth I can afford to ship my stuff

Natasha has told me several times that she would rather be back in Russia. She misses the pace of life, her family, and just the way of life there. It hurts when I hear her say this, but I've come to realize it has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with how different and difficult things are for her in the USA, as she struggles to improve her English and waits for EAD so she can look for a job.

Believe me, us newly-minted husbands just want our wives to be happy, and his reaction would probably be more of concern over your well being than anything else.

oh, there's a bit more sadness in this thread today than I'd like

Agnes, I'm so very sorry you feel the way you do
I have no words of wisdom... just the rather hackneyed 'try to look for the good things'; so far that's working for me (I don't love it here either, and if I had a choice between PLACES I'd choose London in a heartbeat, but this is about more than place)... even doing little things, like getting the bird, and planting some herbs in a pot, planning some short day trips, and looking at recipes online that I know Dave will like, have helped me feel like I 'belong' here, even a little bit
I hope you feel better soon
*hug*


Aly, I don't know what to say about Pickfords... I'm so surprised; maybe there's a flat rate up to a certain amount, or maybe it costs a bit more because you're not in London, but that's so much more than I was quoted, according to amount (as far as I can figure, anyway)

can you maybe ask them about the cut-off rates? by which I mean, find out the ceiling limits, of when the price changes, and see how much you can pack in the highest amount you can afford
the guy who did my quote said that the price per cubic foot drops the more you take, and when mine came in at JUST under one limit, he bumped it up into the next bracket, so I was actually paying less to take more (if that makes sense)
all the best with it! I'm thinking of you and sending hugs your way

StP - found out that they guy quoted me for 60cuft when I only have 36 cuft Apparently "Industry standard volume" for "fruit boxes" is 4cuft when mine measure in at just over 2cuft... I wasn't very impressed - some people may not even check and end up getting ripped off... He is going to send me a revised quote anyway so if they do and it is cheaper then I will try and knock the price down on the other guys... if I can't manage that then I might use the other guys just out of principle.

And he was old. And ugly.

Agnes - I sent you a link to a site that I have been checking out - I don't know if it will help but it is something else to look at anyway

I really really hope I love living in the USA - I know it is going to be hard but at the same time we made the decision to move there for a reason and I want nothing more than to love it more than here... just so I can relax *and* be happy... is that too much to ask or am I being unrealistic!??!

I guess I can always pop on over to see Marta for a happy injection

thanks everybody for cheering me up!
today was the first day of monsoon-season here and it feels wonderful nice and cool outisde.

@aly: sorry hun that they tried to ripp you off! hope that you can ship your stuff without breaking the bank!

I'll go for a walk now and try to collect my thoughts and emotions and get myself together.

THANKS FOR THE LINK!

No probs I actually managed to find some roleplay geeks in the area so we are going to meet up when I move which should be awesome - but there are so many other things that I want to do - meditation, yoga, weightwatchers It's great because you can just search by your area and find things that you may not have even tried before

For anyone else wanting to know what the heck I am talking about:

http://www.meetup.com/

Jeraly you always crack me up! I can't believe you're moving time is here finally! How exciting
I hope you don't get all homesick too. I would imagine that just about everyone does though. I know I would if I were the one moving to Canada. I think it's more a matter of mouring the loss of everyone and everything you are accustomed to than not liking your new home. Hopefully once you have more and more good experiences and memories here the homesickness will abate.

Might as well change subject in my post here...we went and applied for our marriage license yesterday!! It should come in the mail next week. I called the local SS office, but Jeremy isn't in the system yet so we're gonna wait and call again next week. I don't want to get caught up in that crap where they have to verify you with USCIS and it takes forever. Jeremy has been looking at job openings in our area so we're getting anxious.
In exactly 3 weeks from now I will have a new last name!!! I can't wait!!

Yay! That is so exciting!! I am supposed to be getting ready and freaking out that my dress might not fit!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I can't wait til this is all over! I am cacking myself about the first dance - I hate people all staring at me - wasn't so bad when it was just our small wedding but now... Well - I've given my grandparents and my mum and her partner strict instructions that they have to get on the dancefloor a couple of minutes in as the song is quite long and I don't want to be shuffling around with Jeremy looking lame for ages

Ohhh I hate this

J, you don't HAVE to have a first dance
it's your wedding; you can have - and not have - exactly what you want

I didn't even have flowers at mine... or music... no one gave me away... it was so simple, and it was exactly right for us

(I hate people looking at me too )

Agnes, I just wanted to say a few words to you. I don't know if they will help, but I feel bad that you are feeling regret and so unhappy.

In 2004 I moved to Canada to be with Scott. I was lucky in that I fit into the TN category of visas, which are extremely easy to get. So we lived together up there for a year and a half. In my first month, I was miserably unhappy, crying myself to sleep. I loved him, I loved being with him, but I think CBR put it well saying that it was mourning the loss of everything that had been familiar to me. I didn't like that I couldn't even buy the same brand of rice I was used to, little things like that, let alone huge ones like missing my friends. Of course, I can only see this in retrospect. At the time I just felt horribly depressed, and didn't fully understand why. I mean, it's obvious enough to miss things, but I thought I should have felt so happy just to be with Scott. I guess it taught me that I was more independent that I thought I had been; I was living his life and dependent on him for most things, even though I had a job and a normal routine and everything from the start. Canada is also culturally really similar to the US, so I wasn't expecting this type of thing to happen at all. It took me about a year or more to finally make one good friend. Once I did, things were a lot better, but in my head I had already decided that I wouldn't be staying in Canada. I was torn about what to do since I didn't want to break up with Scott. We eventually decided that he would move to New York, even though he hated the city and the US. 3 years of being separated later, we are finally together. It's been a long road, and what I have wished since then was that I had been more patient with myself at the time, when I was living up there. It really can take a long time to adjust, and the hardest thing is that sometimes you just plain feel like sh*t for long periods of time. I think if you were to tell Eric how you feel he would be understanding; he wants you to be happy. I know I did a lot of moping and not always telling Scott that I wasn't happy there b/c I didn't want him to feel like I was telling him I wasn't happy with him. It was hard to communicate it all. Hopefully Eric is a patient person and with some time you both will get through this and be stronger for it.

I know it's not the easiest thing to be told "be patient" and "give it time". It's hard to give things time when they hurt and you are feeling really down. But that's all I can say having sort of been there before; I wish I had given it more time. It was *really* hard for me at the start. And you know, I felt stupid for feeling so down about it. I was like, why am I not happy, just being with the guy I love? But there's a lot to this mix, and really, it's okay to feel down. Know that too. Mourn what you need to, talk to Eric, and I hope you start to feel happier with time.

Very nice post Rae! Another thing for the younger people here is that you are changing your primary role in life which is a huge adjustment. You're going from being your parent's son or daughter to being someone's husband or wife now (head of your own household if you weren't before). And for some you're soon to be someone's parent. Those changes in and of themselves are major adjustments to make in life and to couple that with moving to a new country, and I can see why some have a rough road. In the end though all that matters is being with the one you love and creating your life together.

thanks everybody for having such good advise and so many nice words. i really don't quite understand myself. i am such a lucky girl, i found a job relativ
ely easily, i have a really great husband, we have no real financial worries (not meaning that we are loaded, you know what i mean), we are healthy and stuff. i should be more greatful.
BUT: good news: i will go to a meetup tomorrow afternoon! a group of germans here in town are meeing twice a month

ahh, aly, you are a pro in getting married by now, aren't you?

i could bake a cake! cake anybody? vanilla cake with chocolate frosting?

YUMMI!!!!

Agnes, did you get my PM with the link to German cultural stuff in Arizona? I hope that will help. And just to make you feel at home:

Yeah but we picked out the perfect song so we kinda had to - it was ok in the end - I gave everyone instructions to interrupt us and join in I was rather disappointed that my goth friends didn't do the conga like they promised


Yay!!! So glad you found something to go along to - maybe you can find a baking meetup as well

Hmmm you could bake a cake for when I get there

Agnes, I'm SO SO glad you're feeling a bit better, and that you found some people to meet with

and I'm putting my hand up for cake
way, way up... it's scraping the ceiling

AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I move TOMORROW!!!

I am sooooo nervous - I feel absolutely dreadful - I am all shaky and I have a tummy ache and feel sick and I just want to feel better again My brothers are coming over for Sunday lunch today and that will be our goodbyes so I am nervous about that as well. This time tomorrow I will have said goodbye to mum and I just want it all to be over now. I feel like this will never end - I feel like I have been up for hours because I've been tossing and turning in bed unable to sleep... I hate this so much.

Please somebody tell me this is normal? I woke this morning thinking that "omigod I'm moving tomorrow" and had this blind panicked thought that I just can't do it. I just can't believe it is my turn now - it all seems so unreal and I am scared...

It is totally normal. Remember, just one foot in front of another and you will get there. *hugs*hugs*hugs*

It is totally normal that after such a long time planning and waiting and worrying that it's stressful at this juncture, but it's so soon, and this is as high pitched as it's likely to get. **huuuuuuggggssss**

you're very normal
you're seeing the whole thing at once, and it IS overwhelming, but as Poiteen says - just cope with each little bit as it comes, and you will find yourself on the plane, and hardly even know how you got there... and it's amazing, once you're actually moving forward, and the goodbyes have been said, how different you feel

*hugs* and *huuuuuugs*

you will be FINE
just smile and enjoy the day as much as you can... it will be a much nicer memory than stressing over things you can't change

xxx

The last two pages are exactly what I'm the most worried about. I'm the USC and my Thai fiancée is telling me right now that she's not excited yet or worried or anything. Our trip is 2 months off now and I'm going there to get her. We'll have a 3 week vacation there b/4 we come to the US and I'll be with her for the trip through immigration and all but still THIS IS A HUGE MOVE FOR HER!!!

She's young, very close to her family, has lots of friends and lives in one of the biggest most exciting cities in the world (Bangkok). She's moving to mid-america and it's going to freak her right the hell out. Kansas City is 1/2 a million people, not very big and doesn't have public transportation worth a spit. There's not really any kind of China-town let alone a Thai-town. We have to drive everywhere and she doesn't drive. It's not like she can walk out of the apartment and take a motorcycle taxi where she wants for 50 cents. Hell a taxicab here is near $2 a mile. Her English is mediocre at best and my Thai pretty much sucks so, at first, even trying to "talk it out" is going to be difficult.

I can only imagine that the first few months are going to be filled with some really bad days.

Her parents don't have any access to a web-cam or the Internet or anything like that. She'll be able to call whenever she wants for as long as she wants but it's just not the same. One of her brothers lives in Bangkok so we're going to give her computer w/ web-cam to him and maybe her mom will come to the city once in awhile so they can see each other that way.

Other than that, once she's got her green card, I've told her she can go back whenever she wants to visit.

Awww you guys. So many sad news or stories. I hope you all feel better soon I don´t think I have any useful advice. I think everyone takes the move differently. I was wondering does it make people feel better when they live in USA and try to look for the familiar stuff (either food they have always liked or some people from their home country) or does it make them even more homesick in the end? I don´t know and I can´t answer that question.
I am glad when I find something familiar but on the other hand I am also glad when I need something and find a good enough substitute. I enjoy new things as much as I enjoy the old ones. And when I go back to Europe (if they ever give me my AP), I can always get whatever I have been missing. The other day I was at the Czech Embassy and it was kinda nice to finally hear someone speaking Czech. But I like speaking English too. Especially when people understand me They tell me I have a cute accent And ask where it´s from. And I say what do you mean? It´s California accent

This time tomorrow Aly will be in the air flying my direction

well - for me, it helps me when i find famililar things like groceries. for example chocolate, cookies, items like risotto rice, couscous, hazelnuts, orangina and other stuff.

i enjoy trying new stuff and finding substitutes, but - there is no american well-enough substitute for german or swiss chocolate.

ah, aly will be one of the last ones of the july filers to get moving! EXCITING!!!

They sell Ritter Sport and stuff like that here Yum yum

It´s actually pretty easy to get German stuff in USA. Much more complicated with CZ stuff Usually I just find Czech beers but I can´t drink those now

I think it is admirable that you are aware of what she will go through and are being so supportive I can only say that having Jeremy here while I have been going through this traumatic experience has been wonderful - I don't know how I would have got through it without him. I mean I would have, obviously, but I am sure it would have been much much harder.

I took a long time to get excited and because it was mixed with so many other emotions, the excitement hasn't always been at the forefront of my mind. At the moment it is buried beneath a big chunk of fear and nerves. Part of me feels that it would be easier if the people I love weren't so upset, but seeing them hurting is really really hard - probably just as hard if not moreso than having to leave. I still can't believe it. I leave today. In 24 hours I will almost be home and I can't wait. I just want all this pain to finish now.

I digress... kinda... What I am trying to say is that I didn't start panicking really until I got the visa - it turned up and I was excited for 24 hours. Then I realised that damn, it meant I had to move and from that point I tried to block it all out. I didn't want to think about moving because although it is exciting, it is painful too and so I had to put a dampener on all those emotions just to get through this. Maybe your OH is doing the same - as soon as you let down those walls to let your excitement show, all the other emotions come flooding out too.


Yay!! I'm coming home to you Marta!! Maybe that is what I will tell myself - I am just moving closer to the people I want to see and meet and so I can do that now

Ok guys - unless some of you are up in the middle of the night and reply to this all fast then this is it til I reach the other side You can guarantee that I will be on here as soon as ever I can with my POE review (prolly lengthy even if it is easy ) and how things went. I've been keeping a blog too - jeraly.blogspot.com because I think it is important for other people to see the emotions involved as well as the practical things you can find out online...

Oh look - I'm trying to say goodbye to you guys and all that is happening is that I won't be online for a day!! I think I like to torture myself!!

I reply to this all fast Have a safe trip

Hehehe!! baby keeping you awake?! I'm drinking your beer for you - it's much more acceptable to be drinking it at midnight than 8am and you can't drink it cause you're preggers

So I blame it all on you But I love you so it's ok

Hehe I woke up cuz I figured midnight was a good time to eat And beer for breakfast is healthy it gives you fluids and stuff so it´s ok if you blame it on me

Hehehe Oh marta - you never fail to make laugh and I really really need that right now so thank you

Midnight is a good time to eat - especially when baby is hungry!! Do you have a big bump yet or are you still teeny?

Aly, in years to come when all this stress and pain has faded, and you have your life nicely set up, you will think - aww well it wasn't that bad. But I think you will be glad to have all these posts to remind you of how hard it was, and therefore how brave you were to do it.

Yay! I am big and brave!! I think that is it though - going through it is hard but I am sure that looking back I will wonder what I was worried about!!! Ok - I really need to get going now though Have to go to the bank and take the cat to the vet and things

Will see you on the other side! Love you guys!!

Have a safe flight and a smooth POE Aly!! Welcome to the USA.

Not leaving until Sept-Oct(is) but if you don't mind, I'll join this merry band. My K1 visa package will be arriving imminently so I can start planning the move to California, San Fernando to be exact.

I think I have a bump but people say I don´t

Okay, so I am really annoyed. Scott and I waited the full 2 weeks to apply for an SSN. This morning we go to the office and they tell us that at that office you can't apply for a card, they only have something to do with benefits there. So we walk to another one and wait in line for well over an hour. Finally we are allowed into the room where they actually process the paperwork, but they make Scott get in line alone and me sit in a waiting area. He was not in the system and didn't know we should have waited and not applied. So now we have to wait 4-6 weeks for the f*cking thing to arrive and I'm just pissed. Why did I even bother to wait the 2 weeks? Damn them.

Yup....and that´s just the beginning They just can´t have the same rules in the whole country cuz that would be too easy. They like to make it as confusing as possible in order to get more illegal immigrants here.

ohhh where's Aly, she should be there by now. Don't know if she's got the internet tho