This topic got me real excited, because I love to read. I thought this would be a wonderful forum and still do, but after viewing "Oil King" Pete's book cover it really turned me off. Starting with the diamond earrings and sunglasses. The shiny suit I could of chalked up to poor taste, if it was not combined with the diamond earrings and glasses.

He does not have a degree in Anthropology. I would be interested to know how many tribes or American and African relationships did he immerse himself to come to these conclusions. Who did he reference? What studies did he reference? Who did he quote? I would be more interested in looking up that information.

If these are his opinions, then that is all they are His reality, his perspectives.


Pete "OIL KING" Agbo is the CEO of Coal City Entertainment. The CEO of his own self proclaimed company. I guess that makes me a CEO, because I own my own business. Have you visited the link to Coal City Entertainment? Do You know how many people claim to be CEOs f there own business through out the US, but mostly reside in the Boston, NY, and California area?

This is one of the quotes on his page
"By buying a Coal City Entertainment product, you join one of the largest and most active Music & Film communities in the world. As a member, you'll receive the following:" I will give him credit for taking personal phones calls and emails considering he has the "largest and most active Music & Film Communities in the world."

He has two products and A couple of rap star want-to-be"s clients. Do you really believe he is one of the largest most active Music and Film Communities in the world?

If you realize this statement is embellished, how can you trust the rest of the book? Kudos on his accomplishments or should I say his claimed accomplishments.

Let me know if you come across a book with some depth and resourcefulness. Right now I will stick with the BIBLE to guide me through my marriage.



You can visit this website for some wonderful advice on a successfully marriages.

http://davidoyedepoministries.org/?christi...:family_success








http://www.coalcityentertainment.com/

You may not find the book useful but have you read it? I find it presumptuous of you to make assumptions about this book seeing as how it has helped a lot of other women understand their SOs.

I don't have a degree in Anthropology but I have a lot of insight on this topic because I spent a lot of my life living in Ghana. I come from a different side of the equation because of this and I still have some questions about why my fiance does what he does.

How many threads on here have we asked for male SOs from Africa to chime in on what they think?

How many people have found the words of Francis to help them understand their husbands?

People learn in different ways and find different methods useful. While this book may not be an anthology of male African culture, it is the African culture from a male perspective (something none of us have) and even a little knowledge in this area will be eye opening for all of us. I'm not sure how many books are available on this topic but something tells me not many.

For me, the fact that he is from Africa gives him the ethos to write a book about this topic. You don't need to be an expert to have an opinion.

There is no need for you to come on here and condemn the man because you may not see any value in it. No one asked you to buy the book.

I did not say that anyone asked me to purchase the book. I did not say anyone else should not purchase the book.

I gave my opinion on the embellished statements he made on his website. His attachment to materialist items and "status" draws me to interpret that he is "ego" driven.

I did not say the book would not be good because he did not have a degree in Anthropology. Meaning when you decide if a book is worth reading and spending money i determine what qualifies him to right a subject. If it is his own expereience, to me that is not enough experiences.
Let me phrase this better Anthropology or has he done research, quoted research, immersed himself in other American and African relationships. Were the statements I meant to convey. Which lead to me believes that this is from his perspective & his reality.

Because of his book cover and web page, I know this gentleman has nothing to tell me about my husband or his beliefs, values, and culture.

Every women here who is considering to marry some from a different culture/tribe should know their SO culture’s beliefs, rituals, and celebrations. Then you get to know them better through interaction and communication, which can never prepare you for living with them.

I did not deny that the book might have helped people have a better understanding. From some of the stories I have heard here some women are getting cultural difference confused with character difference.

Oh because my opionion is not the same as yours I should not have one? My communication was not referenced to anyone who has read the book, who has not, who is going to, or what they think of the book.

They are my opinions on what I discovered in my excitement to purchase the book to participate in this forum. But when I did further research on the fellow, I was turned of by what I found.

I was only pointing out MY discoveries not anyone elses.

Oh, I am so glad that I posted something that initated some communication between you and I Zeenusah. Too bad it was negative.

Don't judge a book by its cover

When it comes to issues of culture, the best experience is living it. I don't think that you necessarily need to go doing research to make a valid point, but if I see a book by someone who went out and did 5 years of research vs someone who lived the life, I am going to go for the person who lived the life every time. Just MHO.

The book is not just about marriage. Its about cultural differences and how to deal with them, at least that is what I got from the small synopsis I have read. Someone who has read the whole book can comment better. I don't think that it is the only book a lot of people will use here to help in their marriages, but it sure can't hurt.

If you had read the book and came on here saying "X, Y, Z is not true", that is different from forming your opinions about what you saw on his website. As for his business and personal accomplishments, I don't know and not my problem.

The fact that these are statements from his own reality, I think, is a good thing. Better than talking in hypotheticals in my opinion. Nothing wrong with that.

And I didn't say you should not have an opinion. Far be it for me to tell people what they can and cannot say.

As for the initiating the communication....confused.

I just do not find his experience, embellishment, his character, and his style of writing and appearance worthy of $18 or my time.

I think is CEO claim denotes his view on "status". Diamond earrings when his Nigerian people as a whole are struggling. I find it disgusting.



Again those are my requirement for spending money and time reading books ..not yours. I am always looking for inspiration and growth spiritually.



I do not read fiction books. That is my choice. Doesn't mean people cannot find value in that. This doesn't mean that I will not discover a book that had met my requirement to be garbage.



I do not find his experience of hanging out in clubs with half naked women good experiences of cultural difference.

You appear to be passing judgement superficially since you haven't read the book and you haven't cited any reviews of the book either. If you are choosing not to read the book just on the face of it for personal reasons that's obviously fine. It's a free world. But why share it with such vehemance? Remember that Jesus wasn't "qualified" for his job either....but people think he did a decent job.

I guess I just made the assumption that this book would be something with more substance because Oboma comes accross as a very worldy inteligent women. So when reading the first post I had a different view (I made the assumption) of what the book would consist of.

Now if she stated it was funny look at one person's perspective on African male with American women.
So visiting that site just drew such a contrast for me.

Yes, I do have a problem with people walking around with shades on at night or inside. I do not think it is fashionalbe, I think they have something to hide. I do not like people running around full of diamonds when people are starving, homeless, or sick without medicaiton.

He has a stance of errogance on his website.
Oh but status means nothing to this man.

I am explaining why I am not going to get the book and my opinion of the author’s appearance and site which lead me to that conclusion. I did not say the book was bad or good? Vehemence? When did sharing a perspective become termed as "vehemence". Please elaborate? I do not have intense feelings for my perspective. I am not forcing my opinions on you. I am not trying to influence anyone with my opinion. I did not address one person in my opinion or on their opinions.

I take my perspective as just that.



I have a right to my opinion, from perspective, from reality.

I am not where I need to be, but I thank GOD I am not where I was.

Diamonds...
I do not think a single African should wear a diamond that was purchased in the US. Thousands have died, been crippled, and left homeless over diamond trade in West Africa. Just like oil, their community is not better for the riches their land bears.

How can he sit there with that diamond necklace around his neck.

Oh wait here come the vehemence. My first post did not, but as you make think deeper out comes my passion for humanity. I will never support people who do not support their community and their people.

Yes, you should get back to the book. Enjoy!

Okay, I will elaborate and then I'll be done.

Omoba posted saying



You then posted a lengthy response judging information on the author's website, the picture on the cover of the author's book, the author's sense of style, the author's moral fiber, the validity of the author's career and the author's character. None of which was sought after or requested. The length and fervor of your post, coupled with the fact that is was not requested lead me to characterize the post as vehement. You obviously wanted to get a point across whether it was requested or not or related or not to the discussion of the others posting on the topic.

Everyone has a right to an opinion. I wouldn't deny that. However, I would state that you have a responsibility for your actions. And in the recent past, many posts on this forum have degenerated into arguments, some really quite vicious. Many of those arguments because of people sharing their opinions whether solicited or not. Was it your goal to provide negative, unsolicited input? Or perhaps I should ask, did you have a goal or intention in mind when you posted? There are currently 470 views of this post and only about 40 or so posts responded. Many people are able to read a topic and make the choice not to participate without input that appears on the face of it to be particularly and unnecessarily negative.

I hope that this cleared up the intentions of my response to your post.

Thanks for telling me what I should do. I am done with this.

Thanks Omoba for suggesting the book.

I pray that all (who purchased) will enjoy and gain insight from what Pete has written.

Constance

Throughout the 90's I was an avid opposer of the diamond trade due to the inhumane treatment of the African people. However, if you were to do your research you would find that the Clean Diamond Trade Act, established in 2003, was created as a means to stop this inhumane treatment of the African people as well as the profiting of Gorilla warfare in this already war-torn country. The act is a United States law designed to stop the trade of diamonds that fund violent civil conflicts in many African countries. The law showed the U.S. participation in the Kimberley Process Certification Scheme for trade in rough diamonds.

Also, since you are unaware of where this man purchased his diamonds, I would suggest that you keep your opinions to yourself. Currently, the Ekati Diamond Mine in Canada is one of the largest producing diamond mines in the world. It is capable of providing 1 diamond per US citizen per day for over the next 25 years.

I myself have researched this mine and option extensively since diamonds are a girls best friend and I want one. However, as previously stated, I do NOT and will NOT support the blood diamond trade. This man, obviously educated, has probably done his research prior to his purchase and like me, got his diamonds from a very well publicly certified diamond dealer. One BTW that I would greatly assume DOES NOT support the blood trade in Africa.

Not only are your comments ignorant and unfounded, however they are also defaming towards this man and his character. As an African man, do you NOT think that he researched this. Do you think he would add to the conflict and unresolve of his own country by blatantly displaying diamonds from a war-torn country. A war-torn country that he witnessed falling before him as all other Africans have. For hundreds of years the African people and nation have been in unrest. I see with ignorance like yours why it has been fostered. Only someone like you would be so small minded as to think you can only get milk from a cow. There are obviously numerous resources to get milk, same with diamonds. It is only smalled minded people who do not know that diamonds can be found all over the world and not only in Africa.

Maybe if you would expand your horizons and actually read a book instead of just judging it by its cover, you would learn that just as everything in this world, you have more than one option when trying to purchase a diamond.

Yes, how shocked I was that at how embellished his website was. False claims. I deciphered what I found deceptive regarding his claims.

Gee I posted a comment in the other post regarding a book she recommended, I posted my comment and opinion. I was not attcked there. Oh maybe because I agreed.

I will remember next time if I do not agree with your comments I will not post in your forum or a forum you post in.

Excitement about reading a book from an author you know is very diffferent from being negative about an author and a book you have not read. If you had read the book and then made your statements my reaction would be different.

Actually, quite the opposite. I didn't post because I follow my own advice. I don't care to read that book and thus didn't participate in a post specifically aimed at people who choose to read the book. Go figure! I keep my negative comments to myself unless requested so that people who are trying to enjoy something can enjoy it! I'm not selfish that way.

And may I add, that I may read this book and have many negative comments to make about what I read in the book because I'm very particular about the books I read and very nit picky about content and style. But that's how a book club works. It's just that to comment effectively actually requires READING the book first!

I found the unnecessary, unsolicited, negative comments degrading to the quality of the forum. And you should realize how your contribution affects the mood and culture of the forum. Just like we all should. You can hold your breath and throw a tantrum or you can try to actually understand what I'm saying to you and we can both move on.

Yes that is me! All over visajourney spreading negativity and bringing people down. That is my goal in life. I live for it. What would life be without me brining to light reality. Reality always scares people. Makes them want to attack others who do not conform.

Ignorant people like me out to put people in my narrow minded reality.

Things I pointed out about the website were true. You did not have to agree with the fact, but they were. Maybe I am touchy about his arrogant demeanor and grotesque display of material objects, because he reminded me of some scandalous men in NY who claim their riches are from being CEO's.

Did I say that?



Did I say that?



Did I even say I didn't agree with you?

Look, at this point, I don't think you're being rational. What do you do to stop yourself and look back because you're throwing a temper tantrum now and it's not what I've seen of you elsewhere on VJ, so what's the stressor? Cause it certainly can't be some arbitrary Nigerian guy who wrote a book that a group of people have decided to read on an online book club. If that's the case, the Oprah memoir fiasco must have put you into therapy!

MrsJibowu,

I want to personally thank you for the positive posts and excerpts you have been providing to the forum, such as your sharing of the the daily "Today's Word with Joel and Victoria." I appreciate your taking the time to share and spread the Good News with us all.

I am reading the book, and have almost completed it. I think it contains some informative information. He is Igbo, but the information he shares is based on customs/traditions (for the lack of a better word) common to the African culture. I wont divulge too much of the book, but he speaks of things such as passing things with the left hand, how he experienced total culture shock when he came to the US and saw how outspoken our women are, and how it took him a while to get use to the fact that men in America take out the trash, as opposed to the women doing ALL things around the house.

I admit to being a little "turned off" by the cover of the book at first too.I was initially turned off by the sub-title "What every woman MUST know." As if to say that if I don't buy/read his book, my relationship and eventual marriage is doomed. But I took it a step further and actually opened the book, and was pleasantly surprised. He not only writes in a simple, down-to-earth manner, but he can also be quite funny at times. He shares his own experiences and perspectives, but the general message is that he is just offering some plain good advice to American women who are involved with African men. We all know that there are definite differences between American men and African men. All of us are here mostly because we are totally in love, intrigued and in awe of these wonderful, loving, intelligent handsome and spiritual Princes.

This forum, yet very informative, has taken on a totally different "feel" lately.....and it ain't for the better. I hope things start to change soon, because I have yet to find a site like this one as far as content and visa info. I am certainly not afraid to post, but it sure isn't a very "welcoming" environment at times. Who wants to take a chance at contributing, only to be "shot down by the masses." It's like some are here just waiting for flame bait. Then, here comes another....

Again, thank you MrsJibowu. I look forward to reading more posts from you in the future. It is your prerogative to read or not to read the book. But please give the flip-side of your opinion a fare chance too. That's what discussion forums are all about....

You have that right to defend what ever. Please don't address me as darling, I am not your darling. The name is Constance.

MrsJibowu,


I really can not believe the judgemental filth that you are spewing from your "GOD" fearing mouth. (fingers)

You choose to judge this man from his photo on the cover of his book. Do you know him? Have you spoken with him? What right do you have to judge the way you do? There is nothing wrong with his appeance in any of his pictures. Have you not been to Nigeria and seen Nigerians driving nice cars and wearing diamonds?? (diamonds, which by the way are not only found in Africa)I have been to Nigeria several times and witnessed simular attire myself.( and yes I have seen suffering as well) You put him down for a display of wealth while others are suffering...how do you know that he himself has not or is not doing anything to ease any of the suffering, YOU DONT. Is it so wrong that this man has worked hard to make a good life for himself? Are you jealous of him? Why would you judge a someone you dont know so harshly, why for that matter would you judge anyone, what right do you have? You claim to be voicing your opinion, you crossed the line from having an opinion to playing judge to a man you dont even know SEVERAL posts ago. This man is trying to help people why dont you leave him alone. I know I dont want to read your filth and I know that many others in this forum dont want to either. Are you saying that Nigerians should live the lives of paupers since there is suffering in Nigeria? OPen your eyes there is sufferung in America too. Are you opening your door to the homeless and hungry men, women and children that live right here in our own country? While you are intitled to you opinion you are not intitled to judge anyone. Before your fingers touch the keyboard think about what you are about to post and the way you choose to word it.