Hi Everyone

I thought I start a new topic for a different type of discussion other then just culinary, culture, moving, religion, travel and so on where we can share some thoughts on how we are all dealing with being married to a muslim man and what is expected of us as wives of these Turkish men. This was something that I thought to ask because of a thread that was started on "Regional Discussion > Africa: Sub-Saharan" where they asked "How do you split the housework?" This hit me so close to home and it's sort of a sensitive subject for me.

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=1011

Selams....

My husband and his family do not associate themselves with any religion so our situation may be different bc of that but my turkish husband cooks almost every meal and he cleans the bathrooms and does the laundry. I clean the kitchen and the living rooms. We have it split up pretty even. My husband doesn't expect anything of me as a wife really. I mean the normal, stay faithful, maintain mutual respect, and work together to have a great life. But beyond that, he doesn't want me to change how I am or how I go about my daily activities. I don't think he expects anything from me except to just be me.

Some of the things that have been hard for us is our completely different views on medicine and illness. For ex: he thinks you should treat minor wounds a certain way which I think is completely ridiculous and putting yourself more at risk for infection and he also thinks if you take a shower and go to sleep with wet hair, you'll get a cold. He also thinks that central air and heat will make you sick and blames his sore muscles on it. It's crazy to me and it can get annoying sometimes but I try to meet him halfway on things like this.

Anyone else deal with this sort of stuff?

SOL

Hi SOlcayto

Glad to hear that your husband is finally with you and that you are both happy now that you're together here in the USA.

Interesting that your husband also believe the same as my husband about blaming central air and heat on their sored muscles, so funny
Does he also ask you to give him massages? It's enough to give me sore muscles everytime he ask for it! Like I'am not tired enough after cleaning the house and cooking his meals

But you are lucky though to have your husband share the housework with you, I think my husband goes back to the old country where the women did everything while they go out and play

I hope we can maybe talk online sometimes
Take care Sol

Mina

HELLO MINA!!!
Sorry I haven't been online in quite a while....I am at work, and just popped on real quick and saw your post....How are you doing?

It is a big adjustment living in America.
Seyhan has done pretty well, but because he was born and raised in Germany, he has a different mindset I think than traditional Turks. He loves Christmas.....and all holidays...He of course misses
the mosques in Istanbul and Ramadan with his family.

When he wasn't working.....he pretty much did everything for me...I usually cooked dinner,
but he would get up every morning and cook me breakfast...Now that he is working, he still helps out quite a bit...I just let him sleep in, because he works evenings.
In his mind....the women are the boss He does, however, want to know everything regarding the finances......lol....which is okay... He is bound and determined to pay off all my credit cards...he HATES THEM!!!
Cooking can be a challenge.......his mother was an excellent cook of course......I have tried to make a couple of Turkish reciepes...and we are always ordering from www.tulumba.com
Excellent Turkish website!!!!!
Not only does he not eat pork, but he absolutely HATES cheese!!! won't touch it...
I love cheese.....!!!!!!!!!

Other than that........life has been pretty good....I have a wonderful husband and I thank God for him everyday!!!!!!!!

I will try to keep in touch!
Take care !!!
Betty

Hey Betty, My husband is like that as well, he believes women are the boss. Very good for me!


Mina, I bet your husband is one of those Turks who lived with his mother until he went to the US and his mom did everything for him. (I would say 99% of the male population in Turkey is like that, lol) And they just sort of expect you to take the place of their mom. Has he ever lived outside of Turkey before, not vacationed, but lived? I think this usually makes a big difference. My husband lived in London for 5 years so even though his mom did everything for him and still does when he's there, he realizes this is not the way the other parts of the world function. I'm sure it will just take some time for your husband to adjust. But definitely you two need to discuss it and make sure both of you are happy. But I totally know what you mean about the massages. My hand was actually cramping the other night, and he was like, that's it? I was like, uh yeah, my hand is hurting. We both just started laughing. Oh, and don't let him tell you he doesn't cook. I bet he does and I bet it's awesome. All Turkish moms make their kids, male and female, help in the kitchen every night. So, make him cook you some traditional turkish meals sometime. I love it when my husband does, it's soooooo good!

Talk to you soon,

SOL

Hi Betty!

I was sooo surprised and happy to see your post here, miss so much talking to you! I'am also happy to hear that you and Seyhan are doing well.

Coskun sends his regards and hope to be able to speak with Seyhan soon. If possible maybe we can exchange phones numbers, if you don't mind of course. It would be wonderful for the boys to talk and share their thoughts on how they are adjusting to living in the US (and maybe Seyhan can give Coskun a bit of advice on who really is the boss, he probably have a heart attack! )

Still hubby has not been able to completely adjust, some things here can be hard for him like certain group of people that I really can't mention here and mostly their rudeness, of course being that we live in New York City some would say that's typical but other then that most people here very nice and of course being a native New Yorker myself I would say that I'am used to it.

Oh well what can I do?

Take care of yourself Betty and see you soon

Mina

Hi Sol

You hit everything right on the nose and described everything that is totally my husband and his way of thinking! Amazing isn't it?!

Yes, you are right about him living at home with his mom before coming to the US (he has all his life!) eventhough he has visited some neighboring countries, but has not fully lived in any of them to see anything different then what he only believes.

As for him needing some more time to adjust..... well I think he will need more then that, maybe another century before he can realizes that women today are also equal partners in a marriage

But don't get me wrong my husband is a wonderful guy, but he needs to open his eyes to what women can do today other then just being a wife!

Take care of yourself also Sol and see you soon

Mina

P.S. What is your husband's first name?

Mina,

My husband's name is Sinan. I'm sure your husband is a wonderful guy. I thought about how my message may have come across rude and I wanted to tell you in no way did I mean it to sound rude or offensive.

My husband got his green card in the mail on Sat. Woooo Hoooo! Now, I get to put him to work, lol.

Everything has been going really well for us here. I went through all my checks and since he's been here, which is three weeks, we have spent a small fortune on groceries. That is going to be the hardest thing for us. You know, I'm American, I can eat total crap if I need to save money. He can't! Oh and what's up with bread. My husband eats almost an entire loaf of bread every day! And he is the skinniest person!

It's crazy but it's crazy fun too! I'm super happy my husband is home.

How have you been?

SOL

Ohh tell me about it!

I'am not used to eating bread for breskfast, lunch and dinner, I hardly ate much bread until I met my husband and of course like your husband he is also super slim!

As for coming on rude or offensive, you didn't at all actually you have been very nice

Actually it was me that was a bit unkind about my husband because it has not been so easy for me trying to help him to adjust here and no matter what I did it just was not enough and part of it is because he is not really trying himself.

Yes and that's another thing, I also have spent too much money on food because everything has to be fresh, my husband doesn't believe in anything that is processed and will not even eat it!

Ohh and Congratulations on your husband getting his Green Card this is wonderful news!

Our AOS interview is coming up soon, March 23 to be exact so not too long now.

Well Sol gotta run now, take care and see you soon

Mina

Congratulations SOL on your husbands Green Card Great news to know one of us got it without any problems. I hope the adjustment stage goes smooth. Happy for you both

Best wishes Mina on the AOS interview Keep Smiling

The adjustment stage we all must feel it at different levels for sure. The food thing was hard at first. Finding things without pork products was a little challenging...but we got past that rather quickly. We also found a Halal market here in Portland found some Soujouk, Candemir missed it so. Bread....ya, we buy ALLOT of it and Candemir can also finish off a loaf rather quickly, lol...

We are stuck in a rather frustrating situation with this Green Card issue. We haven’t received a NOA for the
I-90 (correcting of the Green Card). So not so sure how long that will take. Candemir also needs to renew his passport...sooo not sure about that process as well. Kinda down about the whole thing!!

Anyways....stuck at work with month end to process and a computer system that is SSShhhhit!!! {{{HELP}}} At times I don’t know what I was thinking to get into accounting....need a vacation... I am burnt out!

need some sun shine How about New York Mina???

Take care
Peace to All,
Debra

Hi Debra

It's was so nice to see you post here, I have missed seeing you. So how have you been?

Sorry to hear about your situation and with them messing up on your husband's Green Card, hope that they will resolve it soon and send Candemir his new corrected card.

Good thing you mention about your husband's passport expiring soon because I also didn't realize about it and ran to the bedroom to find Coskun's passport and sure enough his is also going to be expiring too, on July 2006 to be exact! Like you I'am not sure also about what kind of process this will take and how to go about it from here, but once we have our AOS interview and my husband is granted his Green Card or get his approval for Green Card then he will make arrangements to go to Turkey in April to visit his mother and from there I guess while he is visiting he can go and his get his passport renewed out there.

Also I agree you and in Congratulating Sol and her husband on being the first in our group on getting his Green Card, this news is also encouraging and hopeful for the rest of us that are still waiting for our AOS interview. I wish them much much happiness in their marriage

Yes, it is so cold and snowing in New York City right now and like you we also need a nice vacation and maybe possibly see it as a Honeymoon since we never had one since getting married, we are thinking being that we live so close to the Carribeans we can just take a flight out to one of the tropical islands for some sun and fun


Well Debra I hope that you get your good news soon on Candemir's Green Card, keeping my fingers cross for you guys

Take care always

Mina

Mina,

your husband can get his passport's validity period extended at a Turkish Consulate and pay less for that.

Congrats on your husband's green card Debra!

Salam Ahmet,

Thank you and thank you for the information. Do you know if Candemir can extend his passport here in the US at a Turkish Consulate? We really need to check up on this rather quickly. He was thinking to go back to Turkey at the end of summer but it all depends on renewing his passport, the Green Card problem and possibly the I-551 stamp...soo tooo many things going on at the same time


How are you and Justine and are you here in the States? I haven’t talked with Justine in so long, last time you guys were still in Turkey.......and your son must be growing so quickly I pray all is well with you and your family. Please tell Justine hello for me and to email me sometime soon (she knows my email address).


Merhaba Mina
To be honest I do more reading than posting now days...Candemir and I are so busy most of the time. I don’t sit at the computer any more...Thank God...! My reason is now here with me time has been going so quickly and I can say with each day adjusting is getting better...here in the US is so different...so free that it can be shocking....even for me so I can truly understand.

Yes, the Green Card issue seems to have put a hold on many things...but if it is meant to be, it simply will be...

Passport issues, glad you checked it.....Coskuns will expire real soon best wishes on getting that taken care of...as with us.

It will be good for our men to go back and see family and friends and also eat some serious food they are missing, lol. I will never be able to cook like Candemirs mother...but I also need to try harder
He is missing everyone so much...I wish they all could be here with him...or we could be there with them ...ya, I can move in a heartbeat!

The sun is out right now Thank God! Praying for warmer weather so much sooner!!

Well I do have to go back to work now, lol...cant seem to focus so much any more...Its not good.

Take care and tell your husband hello for us.

Peace to All,
Debra

Ohh of course


Thank you so much Internetkafe we will do just that!

Hello Debra,

Yes he can have it done in the consulate of your area. You can look it up from http://www.e-konsolosluk.net
The fees the consulates charge is considerably less than the fees charged in Turkey.

Did you get your marriage registered with Turkish Vital Records office? If not and if you need it you can do it at the consulate too. We are planning to have it done soon.

Thank you for your good wishes. I told her what you said. :-)
Our baby is growing yes. Thank God he is OK.

I am not sure if I am ever going to adjust to this country and its people.

How is Candemir doing?

Have a nice weekend.

Hello Ahmet,

Thank you for the information, I told Candemir about the link you listed. Thats great news to be able to do that here and also cheaper No we have not registered your marriage with Turkish Vital Records office...is this something we need to do and why? Anyone have any military issues to deal with?

Candemir is doing better with each passing day. Adjustment is Hard.... He too might never adjust as well. It is a matter of Religion, Morals, Respect...the important issues...very hard for my Muslim husband...

Your very welcome and thank you for telling Justine hello for me. Also great to hear your baby is doing great, Yes Thank God! Always

Best wishes,
Peace to All
Debra

Hey...where is everyone?


I dont dance but this little guy does...anything exciting going on?

Hello Debra&John,

No you do not have to do that if you do not want to. I might have to do that because I will go back to Turkey for interview and if they ask for a certain type of birth certificate I will need it. In that form of birth certificate there is information about the marital status also. Since We got married in the US, Turkish authorities do not know it yet. That is why I might have to register our marriage at our consulate. And I was told that it might take 3 months to get it registered.
If we do not do this we also will not be able to get Turkish citizenship for our son. I think he should have it since he is a Turk

I completed my service with the Turkish Military. According to the Turkish Consualate's website they want to see the discharge document when you extend the validity period of your passport there. Otherwise they will not extend it more than 6 months.

It is the people and ways of living that are difficult to adjust to..at least for me. Yes, my religion is a big factor too. I do not hear 'ezan' here...there are no mosques here like the ones in Turkey. You do not celebrate my holidays. You do not eat my food. You do not talk like I do. You do not behave/react to certain situations like I do. Differences are innumerable.

I used to think people in this country would be civilized but I am disappointed.

Things like these...

Maybe I am exagerating. Maybe not.

Anyway...

Have a nice week!

Hi Ahmet

I know that you don't know me as well as you know Debra and John, but I understand what you are going through because I'am seeing these same emotions and reactions from my husband Coskun as well.

I have lived this with him for 10 months now and soon it will be a year that he has been living here in America and I also don't think he will ever adjust or call America home.

He has already gone through a couple of depression periods where he had feelings of extreme sadness and unhappiness and wanted sooo badly to go back home and no matter what I did to keep his spirits up it could not keep him from missing his Motherland and its people which is understandable.

My husband was never a prejudice man before, but since being here he had to tolerate the behaviors of a certain group of people (whom I cannot mention here) but I'am sure you understand who they are.

But your last comment
"I used to think people in this country would be civilized but I am disappointed." was not completely true, believe me I know what you mean, but there are alot of good people here too. I'am only sorry that there are those that make the rest of us look bad.

Only time will heal and for now we need to help each other in this time of adjusting.

Well, hang in there Ahmet and if you ever need to talk to a fellow turk let us know for Coskun too misses to talk with his turkish brothers as well. Take Care

It is the people and ways of living that are difficult to adjust to..at least for me. Yes, my religion is a big factor too. I do not hear 'ezan' here...there are no mosques here like the ones in Turkey. You do not celebrate my holidays. You do not eat my food. You do not talk like I do. You do not behave/react to certain situations like I do. Differences are innumerable.

I used to think people in this country would be civilized but I am disappointed.

Things like these...

Maybe I am exagerating. Maybe not.

Anyway...

Have a nice week!


*************************************

You said that Perfectly!

The Religion issue that you’re having is the same for my husband also. Very simply said. He too misses to hear ‘ezan’ and going to the mosque. His talking way is so very different than I can explain...which I understand what you’re talking about so perfectly. His Honor...deepness.... Faith & Religion.... it’s breathtaking and it is this that makes him so very different than men here...this way of living that I respect beyond of everything.

I am also learning Islam...My husband is teaching me so very much every day. In doing so I also understand him more "Thank God".... Yes the differences are innumerable...and adjusting for both of us has not been easy.….I pray as the days pass it will.

Yes, people here are truly so{insert what you feel here}. But I agree with mina76. Not ALL of us are in the same way. Between all of them stand a few of "US" and to see "US" is hard because the rest simply are so overwhelming that it leaves a bad taste in your mouth. (sorry for the slang) Believe it or not we too are shocked by what we see and hear. We are also Not agreeing with life styles, choices being made, laws, government issues...I can go on and on. But I honestly feel there are some civilized people here. All Cultures have some good and some bad…even the Culture can be wrong, I agree.

I think it is good to talk about these issues because it can affect a marriage. We are two very different Cultures coming together. We both need understanding. We both need respect and I also believe it is OK to disagree.




Take care everyone,
Peace to All,
Debra



Hey Mina….thinking about you



Also I am sorry if this post offends anyone, I dont mean to.... these are my feelings on this subject...

Hi Debra

Thank you for adding your feelings and thoughts to what I was trying to explain to Ahmet.

You said much more of what I wanted to say, but didn't because this is also a sensitive subject for all of us, yet we still need to talk more and help each other in this time period for adjusting to America and to make it better for our husbands.

We need not to deal with these problems alone and we can do our best to help each other also adjust.

With time and our faith in Allah everything will work out for us all.

Take care always

Mina

Just stopped in real quick to say Hello How is everyone doing?

Your welcome Mina Maybe I did say tooo much, I don't know....those were just my feelings and I can relate to those issues.. I just cant say too much here.

On another note::

I was wondering if anyone has any easy recipes to share??? I need to learn how to cook my man some serious Turkish food. Turkish Dinner anyone??? John is missing it soooo bad!

We are having a sunny Spring day

Take care,
Peace to All,
Debra

I can understand missing your country and it's traditions and normal everyday cultural things but did any of the Turks who moved here actually expect something different from what they got? I'm not trying to sound mean or anything but I know if I move to France, it's going to be different from Texas and there aren't going to be the same foods or hardly any American culture there for me. It is scary uprooting your life and moving to another country and I hope that no one misled any of the Turks who moved here to believe that the US is like Turkey in any way bc it's not at all.

With that said, I hope that the adjustment is a smooth peaceful one for everyone involved and I hope that the ones here who are not finding it so easy soon will.

Good Luck to everyone.

SOL

Thank you Debra&John, Mina for your replies&support. I needed some more venting.
Maybe I needed the knowledge that I am not the only one trying to adjust.

Noone misled me about the culture and ways here, Solcayto.. I was not surprised at all. Most of the things I have come accross to were things I knew about.
However knowing something and facing it and having to live with it are two different things.

I do not think it is possible for Turkish spouses to be misled about the cultural difference or anything. As a matter of fact Turks in general are more tolerant and accepting of the different cultures and ways of living. It may be because we live on a land between three continents, we have our own cultural differences in our society... we have borders with 8 countries. Athens,Damascus,Rome,Jerusalem,Cairo.... are closer to Istanbul than Texas is to Washington.

It is not solely related with adjustment either. It is equally related with the frustration born out of (mostly) immigration bureacuracy's inefficiency and aversion to reason and common sense.

Your welcome internetkafe. We need to be able to vent and express our self in this process...the process as a whole...the good, the bad and the ugly.

I too don’t believe it is about misleading anyone. Most people know about the United States and see how the Culture/society is...watch it on TV and so forth.

"However knowing something and facing it and having to live with it are two different things."

Again, perfectly said internetkafe!

We all live very different things in our daily lives and go through the pains of adjusting, immigration issues and so forth. It's frustrating as well as disappointing at times...but we have Faith

“Everyone’s degree of understanding is different from another’s.
What I can explain is only as much as you can understand.”
Mawlana

Always wishing everyone All the best.
Peace to All,
Debra



http://sufizmveinsan.com/sozeng6.html

"It is the people and ways of living that are difficult to adjust to..at least for me. Yes, my religion is a big factor too. I do not hear 'ezan' here...there are no mosques here like the ones in Turkey. You do not celebrate my holidays. You do not eat my food. You do not talk like I do. You do not behave/react to certain situations like I do. Differences are innumerable."

I'm sorry, I must have misunderstood but to me that sounded like you were upset bc things are so different here and not like it is in Turkey. Almost, like you expected all those things you miss to be here somehow.

I have never started a new life in a new country so I cannot fully understand what any of the foreign spouses from any country are going through and I do hope it gets easier for everyone. I guess I don't understand what's so difficult about it bc my husband is adjusting just fine. He does not understand why it's so hard for some people as well. But he also has uprooted his life and moved to a new country before. This is the second time for him but he said it wasn't that difficult for him the first time either. I guess it just depends on the person.

Anyhow, good luck to all and I do hope it gets easier.

SOL

P.S. It great to have a place like VJ to vent, so vent away!

SOlcayto,

Thank you for your posts, it is great to be able to talk about these things so that a greater understanding can come about.

"It is the people and ways of living that are difficult to adjust to..at least for me. Yes, my religion is a big factor too. I do not hear 'ezan' here...there are no mosques here like the ones in Turkey. You do not celebrate my holidays. You do not eat my food. You do not talk like I do. You do not behave/react to certain situations like I do. Differences are innumerable."

I'm sorry, I must have misunderstood but to me that sounded like you were upset bc things are so different here and not like it is in Turkey. Almost, like you expected all those things you miss to be here somehow.

I don't believe anyone is upset because those things are not here, sure they are. They are just different. I think the message trying to be said is that for a Muslim man coming too such a free USA is difficult. And as an American I know perfectly how free people are here and it is very shocking even to me at times....

I am happy to hear your husband is adjusting great. That is perfect news and I wish the best for you both and much, much happiness

Take care,
Debra

Debra, I agree with you that it is great that we can talk this way about all the things that we need to understand and to make life easier here for our spouses.

So far Coskun has been trying his best to adapt to some of the cultural differences and is also trying to make new friends. Right now he is working (eventhough it is not exactly the job he had in mind ) but this is keeping him busy and at the same time he is meeting and talking to new people everyday, so little by little he is getting better.

Sol, I'am glad to also hear that your husband is adjusting just fine, I'am happy for both of you

Ahmet, we are all here for you and don't worry things will get better
P.S. if you ever in need to talk to one of your turkish brothers just IM Coskun, he would love to say Merhaba for he misses to talk turkish!

Take care always

Mina

P.S.S. getting nervous and anxious now because it's just one more day before our AOS interview!

P.S.S. getting nervous and anxious now because it's just one more day before our AOS interview!




Best wishes Mina and Coskun

Please let us know how thing go

Take care,
Debra

ps....We got 3 emails today from USCIS...they are going to send Candemir his new green card....I-90 was approved.....LOL..."no really" I told Candemir they must have found your photo because we didnt send one with the I-90... Ohhhh the fine work of USCIS....Praying they get it right this time around

Hello Everybody.....
Hope you are all doing well...I don't get to post much anymore.
Usually pop in on my lunchtime...
I know what you are all saying...
Seyhan misses home too....He misses Istanbul and all the culture, food, mosques...etc.
Thank God for www.Tulumba.com !!!
We buy Sujuk, soups, baklava (for me...lol) Turkish tea...all kinds of stuff.
He has bought a lot of books, music...it helps him when he misses home.
He has adjusted pretty well..but he has a real problem with non-married people
having kids...(he says in Turkey they would be shot...? ) He thinks it is
appalling the way some people live. The young generation has no respect. Too
much freedom and money. I must say, I have to agree with him on that one!

We still have heard nothing on our AOS....

take care all!!
Hugs,
Betty

Hello Betty

Great to hear everything is going well for you guys Please let us know when AOS comes thru for ya...it has been toooo long! Best regards to you and Seyhan

Mina

How did the interview go???


**update**

John received his corrected Green Card in the mail the other day...so we are now finished for awhile with immigration...Thank God.!!

Take care everyone,
Peace to All,
Debra

HOLY COW......we finally got a letter from USCIS....appointment letter for the AOS interview!!!
We have a date for May 2nd....only took 11 months.......lol

They never updated the online status....

This is good news.........I just hope things go smoothly......

Have a good weekend everyone!!!

Betty

Congratulations Debra&John for the green card!
Congratulations Betty&Seyhan for the new development with USCIS!



I received interim EAD and waiting for the original one. I recently got my SSN with the note 'valid for work only with DHS approval'. I thank Allah (God) for everything. Although I still do not have a status I feel grateful.

Have a nice weekend you all

Congrats! internetkafe, BettyandSeyhan, Debra&John.

Mina76: how'd the AOS interview go?

Am I the only American man marrying a Turkish girl on these forums?

Don't want to rain on your parade, but.............nope.

Thanks guys

Congrats on the SS card Ahmet Have you received the "real card yet"? How is Justine? please tell her hello for me

Does anyone know if a new SS card is needed after one gets the Green card? So that the 'valid for work only with DHS approval' comes off??

Nope Greenmind your not the only one

Congrats Betty for the Great news...about time! Thank God!

Thinking about you Mina

awaterlily....SOlcayto.....you must be busy


Wishing everyone all the best...
Peace to All,
Debra

Any News? How is everyone doing? Adjusting? working? missing home? turkish food? anything...?

Hello Debra&John,

Thank you. I received the SSC the same day I got the SSN at their office. (It was in the mailbox and I discovered that when I came home from SS office.

Justine is fine.She is at work now. She also attends university. So she is real busy. I will tell her you said 'hello'.

I think I will start working next week. Not a well paying job but it is going to be my first here.

I received an e-mail yesterday. It said they came accross with my resume on monster and offered me a translation job that pays 145,000 dollars a year with many benefits. I was excited to read that and today I called them and found out that the job is going to be in a US Military base in Iraq. That is why they were going to pay that much. That made me change my mind.

But the money was goooood!

As for SSC ... I am pretty sure you can go to an SSA office and show them the permanent resident card and they will send John's SSC in a week.

I keep getting packages from my sister in Turkey. CDs, DVDs, Turkish movies and music etc. I got one a few days ago and that made me happy. 'Maskeli Besler' for example...it is a silly but equally funny movie..for kids too. I watched Kurtlar Vadisi-Iraq last month.

And we found a Greek store here that sells various Turkish food items. Now I can have White Cheese (NOT feta! please). Oh, by the way...the thing that people call Gyro here is what we call Iskender and I like it a lot. Greeks have a habit of naming stuff that is not necessarily their own invention. Iskender is Alexander and I guess it is after Alexander the Great who is a Macedonian..not a Greek as Greeks claim him to be. I am writing these to 'provoke'the Greeks

But honestly...they started calling Turkish Coffee 'Greek Coffee', Turkish Delight 'Greek Delight', Turkish Baklava 'Greek Baklava' etc etc. They got to love those because they had the privelege to live with Muslim Turks/Ottomans.

Anyway..have a pleasant week. It is nice and sunny outside.

Hello everyone:

I haven't had much free time to be on VJ since my husband arrived. I'm sure some of you can relate. All is going well, however, busy. He's adjusting well.

He's eager to start working. We've been over to our local career office to get some information on their services.

We applied for a SS card at the local office and got the verbal and verification letter for the assigned # yesterday. The actual card should be in his hands within the next week. We rec'd the "welcome to America" letter. Immigration has issued the PR card and that, too, should be arriving any day now.

Today he's going to the dept. of motor vehicle office to get the info on obtaining a driver's license.

We hope he'll land a job in the next few weeks and the driver's license soon.

Hope all is going well for everyone. Be in touch.

~waterlily

Hi everyone

I guess I haven't been visiting our Turkish forums as much since I have been getting to know the other VJ'ers here and met with some lovely people from all over guess I just wanted to mingle a bit and get to know others and help them in any way I can.

So how is everyone doing???
As far as we are going with our AOS well our case is still pending so there is not much I can post on that yet, we just have to wait and see. Other then that my husband needed sooo much to visit his mother and has been Turkey now for 2 weeks already and of course this short-time separation is making us miss each other sooo terribly and at the same time rekindling our love even more. We are actually chatting online and calling each other as if we were again in the begining of our relationship

Anyway I hope everyone is doing well and taking care of each other

Mina

P. S. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY BETTY AND SEYAHN!

You are not alone, i am turkish and my husband is American:))

Hello everybody,

I ve just join regional forums by the help of Debra&John. We got married on 5th January and my husband went back US on 10th April.. We plan to apply for K-3 not to wait so long. If you share your experiences with us, we ll be happy.

Hi sgulsahs

Welcome

I'am Mina and I would like to first Congratulate you on your marriage and to welcome you to VJ. There are so many lovely people here starting with our Turkish group going through the Ankara Embassy and so many other wonderful people from other support forums as well. Let us know if you need any help or even IM me if you just need to talk.
Best Wishes and hope your visa process will be a smooth one.

P.S. Ohh yes Debra is a lovely and helpful person, she is what keeps this group going!

hi everyone...just a quick note to say that Seyhan was approved for AOS today.

We actually were in and out in about 1 hour. I was shocked....and we are happy it is over...
the officer seemed inexperienced and did everything by the
book...She asked to see a lot of stuff and asked a lot of questions..Somehow our marriage certificate was missing , thank God I had the extras.....but it went well.
She said he should get the greencard in 2-3 weeks...

Thanks to everyone for the support along this journey...
I will be in touch...
Take care and big HUGS!!!!
Betty

bump

Congatulations Betty&Seyhan!

I hope the rest of us who wait for that damn green card get it too and soon.

I wish you all a happy and productive week.

Thanks !!!! I pray everyone gets thru the process soon!!!


Betty

My wife will eventually have her interview in Ankara as well. We still have a ways to go before that happens, but I would still like to be prepared. Since you just had your interview, and mentioned that they asked a "lot of stuff", would you mind being a bit more specific about what it is that they ask? What did you need to bring with you?

Thank you,

Michael

My wife will eventually have her interview in Ankara as well. We still have a ways to go before that happens, but I would still like to be prepared. Since you just had your interview, and mentioned that they asked a "lot of stuff", would you mind being a bit more specific about what it is that they ask? What did you need to bring with you?

Thank you,

Michael
[/quote]

Hi Michael....I showed them our tax returns, bank statements, credit cards, health insurance info,
pics of our wedding...my letter of employment and paystubs, another copy of the marriage certificate,
(they lost the original) my drivers license...his passport, EAD card. I would also show proof that you live together.
I had a complete copied file of the AOS package that we sent in...plus the above...just in case.
Good Luck to you!